₦airaland Forum

NaJa HaJe:
there's the perception that if a man acknowledges God in his life then that automatically means they know how to respect a woman. But obviously we all know that it is not true.

Naija guys like to use the phrase to get ladies but i like to think that babes are getting more literate in these things.

Men and are what they are with or without God. I have never heard a man say am not going to beat a woman simply because They feel God will be angry.

[color=#008855]If you use the phrase literally, then I believe that the first sentence is true, we cannot say all Christians fear God, though that is the idea. However, speaking from experience, the fear of God prevents me from doing many things, it makes me evaluate my personality, looking for ways I can become a better person.

Sometimes, people say they are God fearing but if they do not respect their fellow person, the human pride and ego is obviously coming into play. Honestly, if you fear God, you fear the consequences of lying to another human being, the consequences of false pretences and such.

Let's not use humans as example but instead the word of God, humans twist things a lot and so we cannot live from the example of other 'God fearing' people but instead we should look straight to God. If we truly believe in his powers and his ways then we would be fearful of him.
Those who still see God unrelated to their lives and current situations obviously will not be able to connect with him let alone acknowledge nor fear him.[/color]

debosky:
A 'God fearing' (if actually the person does) man/woman is a highly desirable one because, no matter the flaws in that person at the moment, there will always be potential for improvement or redemption if he/she keeps God first.

[color=#008855]Agreed!!
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[color=#008855]White is the last colour I would wear!!

Not all white underwear are granny panties either, there are so many different styles, but guys seem to think there are only granny panties and thongs, what about tangas, french briefs, bikini briefs, high waisted (granny panties), full briefs, normal briefs. .

The possiblities are endless. .
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[color=#008855]1) Too afraid to break off existing relationship with a girl they are tired of.

2) Feeling trapped (if all friends are single and 'having fun').

3) If current girlfriend isn't satisfying the guy sexually/physically.

4) If the guy thinks he can get away with it.
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[color=#008855]There is nothing with having a personal preference, however I will warn you, having a stereotype/image of what these 'smallies' are like can actually result in you being fooled or heartbroken, you shouldn't trust anybody too much without them earning it, so by giving these younger girls the advantage from the get go you put yourself in a position to be heartbroken or disapointed.

So what happens when the 'smallie' turns 22? Do you dump her, imagine if you dated her for 6 years, will you break up with her on her birthday .

Maybe you choose to be more cautious, but I think you should just work on trying to be better at judging characters and reading the signs, rather than taking the 'easier' option.

:/
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[color=#008855] Sorry to hear this, she's probably trying to distance herself away or break up. It's a shame because seven years surely should mean something. It's a little shocking though how she has changed dramatically, but to be honest, in high school she hasn't experienced enough of life to have a strong stance on her position and attitude to life.

She's either really distracted by work or someone else, since the first option would be eased if she just talked it through with you.

I think you should reduce or stop giving her money, she needs to appreciate it, I think if she turns nasty when the money stops, you can be sure that she has definitely changed.

If you need to move on, know that you seem like a great guy, loyal and trusting and it'll only be a matter of time before you meet an equally caring and loyal and committed woman.

All the best.

gozzilla:
or move on and stay without a chic she will come back one day.

How do you know that she'll come back? Though it makes sense because he's a good guy, so after she's finished with all the distractions she'll be back for her good guy?
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cvibe:
Topup,

Well if you don't want to put up newspaper Ads, you know what to do. It's snowy tonight over here.

[color=#008855]Yeah, it was terrible, but I love snow, just not the hazards that are associated with it.
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cvibe:
Topup,
That was this morning. You dont want to be lonely and go through this freezy snowy Valentine without doubling up to keep warm? Do you?

[color=#008855]Well, I've got a heated blanket to keep me warm , how about you? If you're so keen on partner searching how is the search, or do you not need to search?? [/color]

cvibe:
Top up, where at thou?

[color=#008855]No internet in my room, projects and I'm actually being responsible this term
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[quote author=OLAMIND,  link=topic=224963.msg3426725#msg3426725 date=1233775878]ANS: to ques. 5

they'll probably go dicking every ass they find!

as for me am hermaphroditic![/quote][color=#008855]I don't know what to say to that comment, whether to take you seriously or to just stare in silence, I might choose the latter. .
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[color=#008855]Ok, say the reasons why you won't give it a try  and weigh it against her good qualities and you will have your answer.

She is beautiful, she seems kind, and is madly in love with you.

Of course that doesn't qualify for a relationship, what really matters is whether you care for her, if you genuinely don't then you can tell her this (but gently). However, if it is simply because you normally go for 'this' and she is 'that, then I just want to ask you to look outside of the box for once, you may** be nicely surprised.

All the best.
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[color=#008855]Apart from this being an over-complicated love story, by tradition and parents, I just want to ask, if you genuinely want to marry this guy, that could help you answer your question. If there was nothing in your way, are you prepared to start wedding plans because honestly, I'm not sure if you're more than just flattered that he wants you as a wife.
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[color=#008855]Choose and STICK with the one you can imagine seeing yourself with for the longest, the one you love and care about the most. The one you have most in common with, the most loyal one etc. .
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cvibe:
Topup,

Ads in the newspaper might be a good place to start,  cos British Midlands is way out of where people will normally like to go _{(plus it's too far, except you're willing to do the travelling)} , which explains why the people you been hooking up with are fellow students.

[color=#008855]Wow, newspaper ads?? I'm still young, I'll just be more out-going and make more friends.
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Jizzy:
[/font][b][/b[jus anoda ova hypd day.U shud always trit ur gul rite errday nt only on feb 14

[color=#008855][font=arial]Great point!!
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[color=#008855]I thought most women are single, (unless they want to find an excuse to avoid passing on their no. to you or they simply don't want to date you). Anyways, I'm still confused about what you mean by 'before you fall in love nowadays, you should know more of your crush status cos most girls are'nt singles anymore.', as in before you fall in love with your new crush you should find out if she is single or not?
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[color=#008855]Then start a thread about something more interesting!!
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cvibe:
Topup,

If you were just going to keep your eyes on books, by the time you raise your eyes from those books,  you dont want the bus leaving you behind, do you?

You still didn't tell me the part of UK you're in.

[color=#008855]Haha, yeah good point, okay, I'll keep one eye on my books. I'm in the midlands, not in London. .

Yeah, I'll keep an eye open, but I'll try and put most of my energy into getting where I want to be, as a personk, and not so much on trying to find someone, because I need to find who will complement me, and the me I aspire to be

What about you? What do you suggest?? I put ads in the paper and start man-hunting full-time? *just playing withcha!*
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[color=#008855]@ Cvibe, I completely agree, I'm thinking of going out, less to parties and clubs but more to galleries, and the finer things in life. If I'm looking for a guy who's creative I gotta be creative. But that'll have to wait until when I am actually looking, for the time being I'll just be me and keep my eyes on my books .
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cvibe:
Topup,

Are those words from a woman who is single and loving it, or so sad she can't bag a man?

[color=#008855]Lol, even if I was 'so sad' would I admit it?? Well, I used to wish I could have romance and a relationship, but then I realised that I actually cannot fulfil the romance at this stage in my life. First of all I am still studying in University, and my course is extremely competitive, I never have money to waste, so I can't be galavanting from his place to mine, it's almost a miracle that my last relationship ended before Christmas and definitely before Valentines, don't get me wrong, I'm not broke, but all the ideas I have for a successful relationship and how I would love to be in one, I actually don't have the means currently. Yeah, if the guy was in the same situation it would be fine, but I am not interested in students as much anymore.

I won't lie and say I'm loving being single, because there are times when you have had enough of 'girl-time' I live with 5 other girls and we've pretty much talked about everything there is to talk, and we are super close. Then you want the boyfriend you can watch movies with, and go to dinner with etc. .

I am sensible enough to accept that a relationship just doesn't fit into the equation of my life right now, but to be honest, no guys that I've been interested in have come my way, maybe if a dashing, young, smart, ambitious, guy approached me I would be saying something different, but as for now, the guys in my university are pretty average, and 'just wanna have fun' - types. That's okay with me, I'm gonna have my fun too

- And that's my brief answer  !
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[color=#008855]I don't think I even acknowledged Valentine's day, until I started dating, as a single woman, it really isn't a big deal either, unless you wish you had someone to share it with badly, and though a lot of us are hopeless romantics, we're pretty sane too, but the media makes Valentine's day (in the UK anyway) into such a big thing, I went to the supermarket 2 weeks ago, and there were Valentines cards, teddy bears and a section was dedicated to all the memorabilia.

Seeing those teddy bears and cards and chocolates, it kinda made me wish I had a reason to get some, but. . duh! you need a guy in your life to get one don't you? So you

Well, you know what? I'm going back to the store, but this time, I'm gonna get some cards and chocolates for my dearest. . . mum.
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[color=#008855]The replies pretty much proved what I thought, I know no one will believe me when I say this, but as a single woman, I think Valentine's day is just another day, I've always viewed it that way. However, I am not saying men are different, I just wanted the men's point of view, I already know the women's afterall. .

If I was with a guy, I think I would expect something on that day, even though I know it doesn't mean much and it truly is yet another holiday to spend money, not even necessarily on someone you truly care and love.

I don't know how I'm going to spend Valentine's day, but last year's sleepover was really cool, just a girl's night in, no bitching or gossiping, just relaxing and enjoying. I thought guys didn't have the pleasure of sleepovers like that (makeup, spa, pampering), that;'s why I asked what the alternative was.

Anyways, I'm so glad I can keep my money this Valentine's day. .
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C2H5OH:
Because it's nothing.

What are you doing?

[color=#008855]I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but usually my girlfriends and I have a sleepover, but I'm at the age where guys shouldn't be my first concern anyways. . even though sometimes they are.
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C2H5OH:
i personally don't give a shit about it either way. just another drummed-up day.

[color=#008855]And why's that?
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[color=#008855]Q1. What do single men enjoy doing on Valentine's day?

Q2. However, if they can't do this, what do they often do/are forced to do instead?

Q3. Do men prefer to be single of Valentine's day?

Q4. Do single men think about their exs on Valentine's day?

Q5. What are single men most likely to be tempted to do on Valentine's day?

Q6. Is Valentine's day even significant in a single man's diary?
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[color=#008855]I'm really sorry for you .

I wonder why she just left like that, where there signs that the relationship was lacking its usual luster? Was she distancing herself from you, surely she couldn't find it easy to leave a man she'd loved for 7 years. Is this the full story? I actually don't understand why she would leave either, she had a much greater chance of getting married to you, than any other men she may have recently met.

What she did was a hurtful thing, but it could surely be a sign.
I understand that you haven't dated in 7 years and feel completely lost, on how to recover your heart, where to begin, who to go to etc. .
Don't worry Nairaland is here for you .

I still can't get over the fact that she left, just because she wanted to get married soon, I think the story's not complete, I think she may be hiding something from you. Ah! A pretence for 7 years!! Wow, I am stunned!

Please try and remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long.
All the best and God Bless.
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[color=#008855]Love me, Leave me - Kat Deluna

If you really wanna help,
Then you should go,
'Cos I promised myself,
I'd make it alone,
At the back of the shelf,
That's where I put what we had,
I'm never going back there!

Make me Sick - Danity Kane

What I got. . couldn't feel any worse,
It's like I'm possessed, under some kind of curse,
Temperature on rise, I can't close my eyes,
I can't sleep at night and you're the reason why!

Got my heart out in the cold (breaker, breaker)
I'm afraid of getting broke (operator, 'rator)
S.O.S. I'm overboard,
'Cos you threw me in the sea,
Please call the doctor somebody rescue me!
I got fever from you,

Boy, can't breathe, bones are shaking,
Heavy spinning cause you make me,
Boy, you make, see you make me,
Ooh, you make me,
You make me sick,
Got the shivers when I'm near you,
Call the doctor cause you make me, OH!,
Boy, you make, see you make me,
Ooh, you make me,
You make me sick.

(Ha-choo) I'm allergic to your face,
So queasy even when I hear your name,
Dead on arrival from my self-denial,
I can't even breathe,
Boy what you do to me.

Mama said don't hate but your bitter pill,
I can't get well cause you're keeping me ill,
I need a check-up or maybe some pills,
Cause I'm sick of your s&@!,
So sick of you here. .



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[color=#008855]I just have to say this; you have done some MAJOR generalising in your post. The story may be true, but guys are NOT like this, some guys are, have you even heard what some women have done to men?

Anyways, addressing the post, it's such a shame that your friend gave all she had to help the guy, it's more of a shame that she couldn't see the warning signs, it's not about how much money he gave her back but instead, the other areas he could have fulfiled in the relationship. I am sure if he was a wonderful boyfriend and he gave back in love, respect and effect, as much as she gave him money that she wouldn't feel cheated as much. But I believe she has gained nothing materialistic from him yet spent so much of her savings on him, so she literally feels a physical loss.

Such a shame.

I don't feel to blame her, because it is a lesson she has learnt which will hopefully make her a wiser person. There's a way to everything, if someone yo loved repeatedly asks you for money to 'save their ass' you should really try and take a step back and look at the relationship, to see their attitude to asking you, whether they intend to pay you back, what they plan to do to make it up to you and so forth.

If someone who claims to love you is too keen to borrow money and to use up your funds, you really should be thinking twice. Even if they never leave you, do you want to be high and dry??

Your girlfriend has learnt not to be so willing and trusting, to give money to people in a rational manner, she has learnt to be careful with how much she invests in people. A healthy relationship is 100% from both people, giving to each other, everything they possibly can. If one person is not doing that, the other shouldn't just blindly continue. .

Hope she recovers from this breakup. .
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[color=#008855]I would rather go through the pain now, under my own control than later when he breaks my heart with his irresponsible behaviour. It's not easy breaking up with someone you care for, but time apart should make your thoughts clearer, that way you can even identify if he's really worth fighting for.
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Taken:
intended not to be bashful, I can infer from you answer the reason behind your post - just personal thing.

So you are single, so what happened to your last relationship?

[color=#008855]Just personal thing?

My last relationship ended , I'm trying not to go on and on about it, and funnily not being on Nairaland as often has made it a lot easier. But, yeah I just stumbled upon some more information and I am kinda annoyed. Anything else you wanted to know, like what he was like, what I was like, why it ended? I'm sure I've said it all before, but I don't mind saying it again.
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dipo2much:
My Guy,[b]she is just like every other girl out there. Her ex didnt only finger her,but he also f**cked her well [/b]with a long privates. Thats why she thinks your privates may be too short, sorry

[color=#008855]Wonder how you conducted your research. .
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[color=#008855]Well, it'd be a shame for me if my boyfriend thought that just because I was very open to discuss sexuality that I was a 'slut'. I am naturally a very sexual person and it could come across as that I have had multiple sexual experiences, but then again, I come on Nairaland, I'm knowledgable, open and live in the 21st century where sex is everywhere, if I was to be completely unaware (especially when all you have to do is be in a group of girlfriends who have had experience to know what's what) wouldn't you be a bit suspicious??
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Taken:
Of course!  We often say things because of personal experiences whether they have true or false foundations.

[color=#008855]I'm not sure if you answered my question,  will your answer depend on whether I am single (which I am) or not?? What are we discussing again?
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[color=#008855]In response to taken, why? Is it going to determine/affect your answer??
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