₦airaland Forum

VickyRotex:
As in. The OP is just looking for an excuse to cheat. If not, allowing his wife to leave the house is not the solution here.

The OP and wife went back to dating after marriage. He is living a bachelor life again.

DeepSight:
Haba, marriage being a lifelong affair , there is bound to be "downtime" for either or both parties quite naturally.

marriage is a lifelong affair in theory, in practical it can be a short term affair.

Yes there are downtimes and uptimes for every thing including sex, but a down time of sex lasting over 6 months is enough ground for divorce by either parties.

This sounds way too rigid and mechanical for the nuances of sexx as I understand them to be - complete with all the "human" nature and mood swings which may be attendant thereto. The bold in the above, in particular, make it sound like you expect a wife to write a formal application for "leave" from sexxual duties, which must be presented with justifications and defended before a panel of inquiry.

If a wife wants to take a sabbatical from sexual duties, he must inform her husband, and the husband must consent. If the wife unilaterally decides on her own to go on sexual leave, then she should be prepared to allow the husband get sexual satisfaction from other means - including olosho.

Kai, so you are among those who are okay with the practice of banging the head of an unborn child with your prick.
Yuck.

The prick comes no where near the head of the unborn child. The prick stops at the vagina, the baby is safely tuck in the womb.

I dont know but it almost comes across as though you are designating the woman as a sexxual slave. I personally dont believe in "conjugal rights" as they are expressed in this context. There is too much nuance in sexxual matters for such a mechanical approach - and with that approach you reduce something that should be a natural chemical response to one another to a mere duty and physical chore. As far as I am concerned, even (and probably especially) within a marriage, the sexxual relations of the parties should be approached with as much gentle coaxing and seduction as was deployed prior to marriage. If not more.

Even the law recognizes "conjugal rights". Both partners have conjugal rights, meaning a husband should not deny his wife her conjugal rights. If you wife demands sex, it is your duty to satisfy that desire unless there are other extraneous factors.

DeepSight:
No it generally works both ways, thats why you have prenuptial agreements.

That's when prenuptial exist in the first place. Most marriages by couples smitten by the love bug don't even know what prenuptial means.
It's after being stung by a selfish partner that they insist subsequent marriages must come with prenuptials. Or if one party is from a wealthy home and the parents insisting on prenuptial to protect family fortune.

descarado:
For those of us living in diaspora even if Ghana.
The golden rule is NEVER EVER FORCE YOURSELF ON A WOMAN ESPECIALLY YOUR WIFE. YOU WILL ROT IN JAIL.
They have laws that work.
Nigeria don't.

Ghana is just trying to copy western values and system. If your wife can deny you sex ad infinitum, then you can also deny her affection, protection, security and comfort. What about the children? Who will provide for the children?

Even though I am a strong advocate for protection of women and children, the western world has taken it too far, by emasculating men in general. A man can't marry 2 wives, you can't commit adultery, you must provide for your wife, you must share your properties with your wife (she is not obligated to share hers), but she can refuse you sex at her discretion.

Anyway in Ghana, I hear it's the woman that pays dowry.

safarigirl:
LOL

Are you a child?

There are times when sex will not be on the table, there are times when sex will be an option. If your wife is pregnant, there are periods she will medically be unable to have sex

Why will sex not be on the table? Except there is a terminal disease like cancer, I don't understand why sex would not be on the table in a marriage.

Yes there are times when sex would not be an option, but a reason why it's not an option at a particular instance must be given and duscussed with the husband. She may be seeing her period, she may be ill, she may be too tired or stressed. But to deny your husband sex for months without reason is cruel and insensitive.

Obviously you have never been pregnant. There is no period during the pregnancy that a woman is medically unable to have sex. In fact her sexual appetite doubles after the first trimester. This is due to raging hormones acting up. A woman can have sex a day before giving birth.

Marriage is for many many years, decades, and even a nymphomaniac will one day, not be in the mood for sex, so, what is this childish talk about marrying someone else?

That's why I emphasize sexual compatibility before marriage. Marriage between sexually incompatible couples will not last many years before you talk of decades.

Some of you just come here to talk like kids. Your idea of marriage is laughable.

So what's your own ideas of marriage? What are the roles and obligations of each partner im a marriage? Are you married?

Elinosweet143:
No, on top say him beat her join, that my dear is bullshit

Yes it's Bullshit. But it is what it is.
If wicked "Konji" hits a man, he can do anything.Testosterone is an aggression hormone. Too much stored up in the blood stream is a bad thing.

Omoluabiii:
you didnt act like a man.
Beg her to forgive you, thats all.
Just beg for forgiveness.
But next time you ask her for sex and she refuse,,
You too man up, and withdrew all form of being romantic to her.
But dress hot, smell good, and give her space...
Then at night, sleep seperately from here, dont sleep on the same bed...
Its what i ve tried tested and proven.
It works like magic.
Whenever i opt in for sex, and she says no.
I began to dress my cutest, and put on my best...
And at night i leave the bed for her, i ll go into the parlour,
it took only two days, the third day, she came to lie with me in the parlour, and i was the one asking her, what happened?
The rest is history..

This will only work when you are just newly married or in the honeymoon phase. After 15 years of marriage with added responsibility of multiple children, work or career pressures, increasing stress levels and extended family wahala, believe me you won't have the time or energy for such shenanigans.

The basic issue is understanding each other's needs and making attempts to fulfil them.

InTheCloudySky:
1. It doesn't matter if you're dating someone, or are married, no means no. Whether na your babe or wife, rape is rape and is a crime in both instances.

2. Learn to read. He said "recently", meaning her refusal is recent, not over a long period. Even if it were over a long period (which isn't the case), the right thing to do would've been talk to her or seek professional help together to get to the root of the matter, not abuse and rape her. Forcing anyone to have sex with you, whether na your babe or wife = rape.

After spending a fortune paying dowery and other marriage expenses and working himself to the bone to provide for her?

So what does the husband get in return for all the sacrifice?

If she does not love him anymore, why not say so and leave?

She wants to continue to have her cake and eat it.

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

I am sorry to say, but to me your marriage is over. She never really loved you to begin with. How can a wife deny her husband sex for a whole month without any valid reason?

Even though it was wrong to hit and then rape your wife, I truly understand your reaction. It's probably due to pent up sexual frustrations and anger that exploded. Thank God you are in Nigeria where spousal rape is not yet in our statute.

To be candid with you, she has checked out of the marriage. I don't know who wears the pants, but if it's you, then it becomes very unfair for you to pay for for house, food, groceries, etc, and still be treated like a piece of shit.

You need to do the 180. Ignore her, get fit, improve yourself, and give her an ultimatum. Ask her if she still want to remain married or you guys should jejely go your separate ways.

If she is interested in preserving the marriage, then both of you need to work on your issues - her denying you your conjugal rights and your anger issues. If she does not show any willingness to continue the marriage, then move out and start divorce proceedings. Life is too short for unnecessary stress.

HacheNoire:
That notion is not valid. It’s a forced general believe. What makes you think FFK cannot give his kids the psychological and Moral support they need. He is a man, and we know best that we deliver to our kids the best of all.

Man by their very nature are not equipped to birth, nurture and raise children. And that is the case among all animals. It's the females that nurture and raise children, males only offer support, protection and sustenance.

After a hard day's work looking for daily bread for the family, dealing with the stress of Children's issues is impossible.

Let me tell you one fact, compare kids raised by single mothers and fathers, you will find out that kids raised by men have more chances to be upright. This is not hidden….. So the idea about women giving emotional and psychological support is void. It’s statement used to deceive and gain custody.

False! Most children from the Niger Delta are raised by single mothers and. Many fathers are just sperm donors. Most times the children and up successful. I have never seen children raised solely by their father before (I mean before the age of 10). If the mother is unavailable, the fathers usually leave the children with their grandmother (and not grandfather).

FFK has everything to support those kids. He has the resource to give them the best of exposure and education, without lacking anything.

Raising children goes beyond resources. It includes psychological and emotional balance.

HacheNoire:
And the father is not accepting. This are matrimonial issues that should be settled between both parties. What’s the whole social media fuzz about?

This is well predicted of FFK as he has replicated this act before. He is very good at frustrating and silencing women. He has the cash, connection and powers to make be, as it stands against his latest ex wife.

So this shouldn’t be news you scream out. We all were watching you when you dived in.

It’s like Regina Nwoko coming out today to tell us that Ned is maltreating her, will you take sides with her?

We must always learn to be responsible to take FULL responsibility for our actions.

You married a world renowned dog, and still had effrontery to come out and complain? Who does that?

Maybe You need deliverance or hypnosis to understand that the issue is not about FFK or maltreatment of Precious. It's about the 4 boys . Children should not be raised by just one parent. If the situation not ideal for both parents to raise the child, then the child is better off with with the mother having primary custody (In most cases anyway). Women are more suited to provide better emotional and psychological support for children. While me are more suited to provide physical and disciplinary support for children.

FFK cannot provide emotional support to those children. He himself is not emotionally stable and had not provided any emotional support for any of his previous children. Where are all his daughers today?

HacheNoire:
Is FFK not their father? Now you sounding like the mother is the parent?

You know my point, she knew who FFK was. I am not taking sides with FFK but I put blame on her. Why the sudden rants? You knew what FFK did to his previous wife but thought you will be special?

And now that all is on the board, you kinda acting victim and paying bloggers to get your predicaments to main stream.

If she can afford to get another sugar daddy, that will be great for her. What’s important is that she moves on.

When you dine with some certain class of powers, you will realize that the fact that you have dined with them before gives them that power to either make, break or end.

She knew all this….

Forget about your hatred of Precious for a second and think about the kids. Children need their mother even if she is a mad woman. She birthed and suckled them. Separating them from their mother this early in life might have long term psychological damage.
Do not punish the children because you hate the mother. This cannot happen in a sane society.

You want her to move on and abandon her 4 children? I don't know how to respond to such idiosyncratic person. Even a lowly chicken with 10 chicks would not abandon one without a fight.

HacheNoire:
You too dumb! Didn’t the gold digger have access to FFK’s history with women before diving into a relationship with FFK?

And you kinda proud you got a mother and father, cos I can see you claiming to have one! Please don’t call those losers your parents. You are an orphan.

If they have invested the right resources and put you through quality education and training, you won’t be here spewing gibberish about my parents that could employ your entire generation as gardeners and still get a thank you.

Who is your father on Earth?

All these your anger directed at precious Chikwendu does not matter. I am sure she will find another sugar daddy to lick sugar. Take a moment to think about the children. Money is not the only thing children need for a well rounded physical and psychological development. They need to bond with their parents and family.

1nigeriamyfoot:
Not about tribe

Go n check your stats, Igbo gals marries Yoruba men than Yoruba gal marrying Igbo men

Yoruba men are caring n loving

FFK is a bastard but Previous chikwendu is a foolish gold digging harlot who married her father age mate because of money

No wonder Regina Daniels married his grandfather age mate cos of money

Young gals should desist from marrying older men cos of money, if they love money too much then they should work for it instead of looking for sugar daddies up n down

Its not about FFK or Precious, it's about the 4 boys caught in the middle of very irresponsible adults behaving like children. Denying the children their mother would be detrimental to their psychological development. Nigerians society is anti children and anti women. They enjoy punishing children for the sins of their mother.

ihimiray:
abi... Which one is bringing them to the park.., she should go to the house if possible spend some days

Is it by force to go to his house? That's blackmail. Why can't the children go to their mothers house? Precious should have as much rights to the children as FFK.

In a sane country FFK would be in jail for flouting court order.

Ficeo:
Its not only a curse but a curse that MUST come to pass.
You think God can be mocked? You will know that Thou shall not commit fornication is a commandment from God. My friend, better tell her to give birth to that great Child, else the consequences will be severe for both parties responsible.

False. I don't know the bible you are using, but fornication is not a commandment directly from God. It adultery that is part of the 10 commandments, precisely the 8th commandment.

The bible demands that if you have carnal knowledge of a young maiden, you are obliged to pay her dowry and marry her. But then men don't like taking responsibly in sexual matters and easily defy that "commandment".

Ficeo:
If you abort that Child, you abd that girl will not have any other child in your entire life, Amen

Is that a curse or a threat?

Tobechuckwu:
He's not talking to everyone, but born again Christian.
He's not talking to church goer, but Christian.


If u don't like a person or a ministry, why can't u walk?

Because its a free world. Jesus himself was criticized and then beeten, tortured and eventually killed. In all these, he never cursed anyone with leprosy.

If Bishop Oyedepo cannot take ordinary criticism, then he is not fit to be called a Christian.

Tobechuckwu:
Bishop Oyedepo is talking to Born again Christian here bcuz we live by certain principles.

Which principles? The only principles of Bishop Oyedepos ministry is complete worship of Oyedepo and material acquisition is a sign of blessing aka poverty is a curse.

Secondly, Bishop Oyedepo talked about speaking against ministry u are in or that has been a blessing to u.

Who is Oyedepo or his ministry? Is he greater than Jesus? Jesus that is a blessing to mankind was spoken against even by political leaders, the religious leaders and even by some of h8s disciples. How many people were cursed with leprosy because they spoke against Jesus.

U can't be a Christian nd keep talking against church nd the things of God bcuz light can't be against light.

Christians have been talking against the church from the very begining. If Christians did not talk against the church, Oyedepos church (protestant) would never have been allowed to exist.

All Bishop Oyedepo said is d truth nd that ignorance is not an excuse in the kingdom of God.

Oyedepo is a man like you and I. He is not God. He is not closer to God than you and I.

franchasng:
I usually blame girls when things like this happen. My blame is not about abstinence cos we are all humans, but Nigerian girls always make this silly mistake. What do I mean?


You went to visit a guy in his house, he starts to make sexual advance towards you, you know for sure that you too is Hot and want him to do it but your female ego wont let you calm down and tell him to get a condom first and ensure he wears it properly.



You keep dragging pant and bra with him till he off your panties under duress. Your mumu female ego couldnt let you to calm down and tell him to wear a condom, the guy is scared that if.he dares make move to get a condom you will quicky put on your clothes and change.your.mind. So he cunningly inserts his dick into your wet vagina and you stylishly allow him cos thats what you want from the start but only dragging with him so it wont look like you are cheap.



In the process he shoots hot semen into your vagina and pregnancy will definitely occur because your girl ego will not also allow you to go to a pharmacy shop to buy morning after pills or something to keep you safe, months later you start screaming that you got pregnant unknowingly, how?



Dear single ladies, forget about talking about abstinence cos it doesn't work, please always make sure he wears a condom and properly wore. Stop dragging with guys even at the point of penetration, allow him to get a condom.

So it's the girls fault the man did not make provision for a condom before inviting the girl to his house and initiating sex (sometimes forcefully). The Nigerian society exonerate men in pregnancy related issues, and put the blame 100% on the girl.

In the US if you get a girl pregnant and run away, you will be brought before a court to pay child support, or you go to jail.
They think more of the welfare of the child. We on the other hand punish the child along with the mother for her sexual sins.

Darreytinho10:
Let her born God will provide

Like he has provided for millions of children roaming the streets and becoming nuisance to society.

Remman:
Op, we know it's you... Just continue reading below please send her my congratulations.

Tell her not to kill the child. Let her give birth and instead send the child to a motherless babies home and option to sell the baby or go to an hospital and tell a good doctor (not nurse) that she's pregnant but ready to sell the child as she has nothing to care for herself. At the end of the ordeal, she will make a minimum of N300K if the doctor or the orphanage don't want to cheat.

If she doesn't want this patterns, let her still give birth and put the baby in a carton and dump it at the gate of any orphanage around.

Thank me later.

That's a crime. She, the buyer and any agent that facilitates the trading of the baby would go to jail.

If she doesn't want to go through the pregnancy nko?
You want to use pregnancy and baby as a punishment for her sexual sin abi?
What about the man that got her pregnant? Should he not face any form of punishment?

KLand:
She should keep the baby. She can learn from Ronaldo's mum.

I will recommended this link: https://victorscorner.com/2021/06/15/should-i-remove-this-baby-a-real-life-question-from-someone-contemplating-an-abortion/

And how many Ronaldos are there in the world?

The odds of a normal couple having a Ronaldo is 1 in 1 million. The odds of a single mother having a Ronaldo is 1 in 10 million.
So you are comfortable with having 1 Ronaldo for every 10 million street children.

madukaanaya:
that child may be our future president

How many illegitimate children have been presidents in the history of the world?

The odds of the son of a poor single single mother becoming president is 1 to 100 million.

Mummy G.O virus have infected Bishop Oyedepo.

seborrhic:
I said it.
Let the autopsy be done in the US,UK,Germany and China by all of their country's best pathologists,some people would still not accept the outcome.
The pathological report done here makes a lot of sense as to the likely cause of death.
But murder and poisoning sounds more interesting for some people because they want blood.
Imagine a church going,Bible reading,God fearing mother praying that the assumed killers of his child die!Where in the bible and in Jesus teaching,the basis of the Christian religion did Jesus Christ,thus God,seek the death of a fellow human being,even if that person killed first?
Yet tomorrow she will carry a big bible and go to church when there is no forgiveness in her heart.
Finally, emotions and sentiments are not facts and until another autopsy comes out with a different report,the accusation of murder cannot be established for now.
If one autopsy had been done in Lagos and maybe another in the North and not in Warri and came out with this same report,all sorts of conspiracies would have cropped up and all hell let loose.

You are a very heartless person. You are blaming a mother who watched her son die a horrifying death for grieving how best she see it fit. Even If the accusers are innocent a more humane human being would advice a councillor to help the poor woman.

DubaiLandLord:
By the time this school is eventually open, I doubt they will have up to 10% of their students still with them.

The school go have to change the name first after all this wahala dies down(I'm talking this way base on the autopsy report)



We Nigerians must do our positive best to be objective about this issue, there is absolutely no reason the Lagos state government would have lied about the autopsy report.

the autopsy was not done by professionals from the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital alone, it was done alongside professionals from Central Hospital, Warri.

And "professionals" from Lagos State University Teaching and and Warri Central Hospital cannot be bribed or intimidated?

I appeal to Governor Okowa and the Ijaw Youth Council to employ a foreign pathologist. That's when I will believe there was no hanky panky.

mapet:
If I an Autopsy & Toxicology report evidence this, by all mean I will believe

We are yet to see the toxicology report before the police and Lagos State Government exonerate everyone involved. We have not even seen the Pathological report from Lagos State University Teaching Hospital and that of Warri Central Hospital. What we have seen is a statement of conclusion stating cause of death to be Septicaemia, Lobar Pneumonia with Acute Pyelonephritis, Pyomyositis of the right ankle and Acute Bacteria Pneumonia due to severe Sepsis.

mapet:
1. Well I must have misjudged you from some irrational irritants on this issue. My apologies
2. The Lagos state report says

I guess the gap in these contrary positions ("your report" and the ChannelsTV report) is to confirm the position of the Warri report. I will imagine if there may need to be a rebuttal from the Warri hospital. The family are also within their right to go to courts with both contrary reports

Ps: A caveat for me though. Can you share the link to the source of the report you posted here? We need to be sure it's authentic and from the hospital

https://igberetvnews.com/1411060/dowen-college-police-statement-released-autopsy-result-sylvester-oromoni/#forward

It was obvious the police and the Lagos State Government were in haste to clear Dowen College, the implicated staffs and the accused students. The police had already granted bail to the affected students (note murder is no a bailable offense).

The Lagos State Government likewise was in haste to open the college in time for the new term.

Read further here - https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/01/oromoni-pathologist-report-says-chemical-intoxication-caused-death/amp/

mapet:
I don't know if you cannot read well or you just want to be cheeky. The statement has

I am being logical not cheeky. I follow issues in a logical sequence. I hate the habit of picking reports or stories that align with your biases and jettisson any report that contradicts it.

The first autopsy carried out in Warri on the thirtieth day of November reported
1. Scalded upper lip
2. Bruised flanks/back
3. Acute gastric erosion
4. Acute lung injury
5. Cerebral oedema with raised intra cranial pressure
6. Large enlarged liver

Cerebral oedema, Bruised flanks/back and Acute lung injury are evidence of severe beatings.

Acute gastric erosion and Large enlarged liver are evidence of chemical injestion.

These align with the initial report of bullying.


That autopsy concluded the cause of death to be ACUTE LUNG INJURY due to CHEMICAL INTOXICATION in the background of BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA

Why did you and the Lagos State Government disregard this report.

Furthermore, there was no evidence of "Acute Bacteria Pneumonia" when the lung was cut in this report.

seunmsg:
This is the only way out of the problem. Demolishing Magodo is not an option. The Shangisha land owners should accept the new allocation in the overall interest of peace and move on.

You are getting it mixed up. It is the landlords that's being promised 549 plots and not the land owners. The land owners are just waiting to take possession of the land. The landlords can move their buildings to where ever the want.

mapet:
A certified pathology report from a Teaching Hospital is childishly unbelievable ? Erm you're sounding "unadulty ridiculous". It's like you don't know the purpose of a toxicology report is to ascertain like poisonous substances ingested?

Your last paragraph ? I give up...

Where is the toxicology report? What was the substance that was reported to be in the stomach by the pathologists?
"Septicaemia, Lobar Pneumonia with Acute Pyelonephritis, Pyomyositis of the right ankle and Acute Bacteria Pneumonia due to severe Sepsis" has nothing to do with toxicology.

FarahAideed:
The ball is in the Landlords house , only them can ease the Supreme Court Judgement

It's not the landlords that obtained the Supreme Court judgement, it's the landowners. This has been the Supreme Court order since 2014. The land lords have to now carry their houses to the plot the Lagos State Government will give them or have their houses demolished.