₦airaland Forum

PoliteActivist:
They're obviously trying to confuse the public with medical jargon. Unfortunately for them he was beaten up in front of other kids who saw everything and saw him forced to drink and he himself told what happened. And his father also detailed what happened.

It is a miracle that the boy had Lobar Pneumonia and the pathologists that conducted the initial autopsy did not see pus, fluid or signs of infection in the lungs.

PoliteActivist:
Like I said UNBELIEVABLE!
I suspect the lab techs intentionally made it childishly unbelievable to signal to the public they were forced to cook it up

After reading the autopsy report, it was clear there was hanky panky going on. The autopsy report never stated the cause of death. It highlighted some observations like damaged lungs, blunt force trauma and some unknown black substance in the gut, but it never really stated what led to his death.

This new report of "Septicaemia, Lobar Pneumonia with Acute Pyelonephritis, Pyomyositis of the right ankle and Acute Bacteria Pneumonia due to severe Sepsis." Did not align with the autopsy report both from warri and Lagos. There was never anything about bacteria infections on the lungs or ankle in the initial autopsy. Even though I know little about medicine, severe sepsis would produce a large amount of pus, the point where the infection entered the body would have been easily seen in the autopsy.


Doctors in the house need to educate us on the medical jargon up there and compare it to the autopsy report.

BRATISLAVA:
Listen to yourself.

Why didn't his mother talk? She was not in her sick bed when she ate the food. She was simply not to eat salty or sugary foods. Why didn't his mother tell her that the food is salty and remind her about her dietary restrictions?

You people are being unnecessarily emotional. Perhaps there's a reason you want his wife to suffer for a mistake that even the man himself could make, because all his mother had to do was remind her. After all, she was talking to the doctor. The doctor didn't magically know what happened to her. The mother told him. Why couldn't she tell her daughter in law? That's something the OP is avoiding while trying to demonize his wife.

What trouble could she cause calling her son to tell him since you say his wife has horns and fire oozing from her mouth, as the scary demon she is?

There's a lot the OP has not said in his story.

I sympathize with his mother, though. But she has to speak out. This is her health that is at stake. No time to fear who she will offend by asking for less salt in her food.

This is the question I am surprised others others are not asking. Why didn't his mother complain to the son that the food the wife was serving was too salty? Was she incapacitated and unable to speak and so had to be force fed?

socialmediaman:
Why don't you reverse the case here. If you knew that your wife's mother was taking sugary foods or drink that could be potentially life threatening based on her condition, would you keep it as a secret from your wife, just to please the woman, even if she told you to? I will not. She has to know, and the doctors have to know as well. The doctors have to make the call here.

Things are not that simple in reality. The wife might not be aware of the seriousness of the situation. She might not have had experience caring for a diabetic pstient. Even the former care giver who was actually employed to care for the mother was sacked for not being able to take care of the old woman.

This is the reason I made this post, to show that caring for the aged is not easy. That is a job in itself. I am facing a similar situation and it's a herculean task getting my mum to keep to the diet recommended by the doctor.

You guys talk as if the wife deliberately planned to kill the husbands wife using salt as a murder weapon.

omohayek:
No, that isn't how it works elsewhere, so why should it be the case in Nigeria? American governors don't have any authority over local sheriffs, nor does the Mayor of London have any say in the workings of the London Metropolitan Police, so why is it simply taken for granted that Nigerian governors will get to call the shots for decentralised police forces?

In Nigeria the "Governor is the chief security officer of the State" mantra is taken too far. A police officer has the right to refuse illegal orders. The police must be able to carry out their duties without interference from political office holders.

Enyimbamercedes:
Intervenes?

A police officer boldly faced the lily-livered coward docile douchbag and told him to call the IG and AGF himself.

The police seems right in this case. The police came to help enforce a subsisting Supreme Court judgement. Since the Supreme Court is the final arbiter, I don't see the need for delay or further settlement. If the defenders wanted to settle out of court, it should have been done before final judgement. It's contempt to prevent a court judgement from being executed.

This case doesn't put Lagos State Government in good light. The governor's seem to be using executive powers to defy a valid court order. A problem we are still grappling with at the federal level. This is a good argument against giving governors police powers which is expected in a true Federation.

DubaiLandLord:
Are you saying the Supreme Court judgement should not be followed?

My brother, I don't understand what settlement again after a Supreme Court judgement (assuming there is indeed a Supreme Court judgement). This is why people refers to Nigeria as a lawless country. Why will a court judgement not be obeyed?

Kwinesther:
So you are saying Op left just 30% or less of the responsibilities for the lady? No I disagree, Op said 10k for children's future career, 20k for vacation, money for Dstv or gotv monthly subscription and money for daily food supplements, you will agree with me that these expenses are more than 50% of 80k ( less than 40k). Now what will be left to take care of her personal needs? She made a good decision by running, which good man will write out those budget without discussing things with his partner? It shows he controls, dictates and imposes which is a red flag.

Abeg helep me ask OP who go go market to buy the heavy foodstuffs. Because I neva understand how the food will be shared. Who will buy tomatoes, onions, meat, fish, egusi, kpanla, Garri, yams, etc? If him give the prospective wife the money to buy these foodstuffs, how will he ensure they are purchased appropriately? The prices of these foodstuffs are never stable and fluctuates on a weekly basis.

The OP is a control freak.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Alright. So, do you agree with the notion that it's far better to be a married man than a single one?

I have never argued otherwise. But then some marriages can be very toxic and thus unhealthy.

Ryda:
"

[b]"He claimed the Western nations recorded more rapes, incest and other crimes."

The keyword is recorded. Most of rapes, incest and other crimes are never reported not to talk of being recorded.

I wonder what he meant by other crimes. Do official corruption fall within the definition or he is talking only of sexual crimes?

UyaiIncomparabl:
Cheers to a lonely long life.

Resaearch has shown again and again that married men live longer and healthier life than single men.

Married men with active sex lives are less prone to prostrate cancer that single men or men with less active sex lives.

Biggie2000:
So, you agree that wifely duties can be bought with money? Yes or No? Please, no long talks, it's just a yes or no question.

And hunbandly duties cannot be outsourced? If a girl has some man that can provide for her a house, protection, money and sex, what does she need a husband for?

Biggie2000:
Lol, so you're indirectly saying that as long as a man has money, he can get all these done. Please, keep in mind that Wizkid, Davido, Timaya, etc are all single fathers that take care of their kids.

We are talking about what a wife brings to the table and you are talking about Wizkid, Davido, Timaya.

Ok ask Wizkid, Davido and Timaya how much they pay for child care, sex and food. You can then use the figure to extrapolate what a wife brings to the table.

Biggie2000:
I'm sure your wife didn't/doesn't have entitlement mentality. The issue with ladies nowadays is their entitlement mentality; it's disgusting. They don't bring much to the table, they don't support your dreams or care to be a good helper; all they care about is that the man must continue to bring bring bring. Look at the comments from the ladies on this thread, you'll realize that they ONLY talk about their own needs, their relatives, how to look good physically, etc None of them cares how the man will take care of his own needs or his own relatives.

They don't bring much to the table? Ok let's analyse this table.
Child bearing - You think bearing children that carries half your DNA and your family name is not bringing much to the table?
If you go for surrogacy and pay women to carry your baby for 9 month and birth them. How much do you think you will pay a surrogate to give you 3 children?

Sex - how much do you think paid sex with a commercial sex worker would cost you? If an all night casts N10k and you have sex an average of twice a week, how much will that cost you at the end of 10 years?

Child care. - if you were to pay a house girl or child care services to take care of your children, how much do you think it will cost you per month?

Cooking - how much will you pay a chef to cook food for you and your children on a monthly basis? I have not even added going to the market.

What about house keeping and washing of cloths?

Ladycewhy:
water and NEPA bill for an 80k earner is different from that of a 300k earner's budget.

If she was making her budget with 80k do you think she will have appliances or stay in an area for big men with big utility bills? .


Na 300k earner utility bills she go dey pay o,have that in mind.

Imagine comparing the standard of living of an 80k earner with a 300k earner.

I am sure the OP's house will have an electric stove, an electric water heater, freezer and air con in every room, the electric bill alone might be over 30k a month. About water, I hope the OP wouod be ok drinking pure water instead of demanding water dispenser.

enonche85:
From the onset he called it "financial plan", not general family operations.

Its a faulty financial plan. Financial plan is what will determine the general family operations.

What then happens if both parties decide to travel to Abuja on a joint social engagement according to this financial plan? The husband will fly with Arik Airlines while the wife will take Greener Lines Motors, as someone on an 80k salary cannot afford to pay 60k for the round trip.
The OP will do better to look for someone with. Similar income level with his mindset.

Lordedifice1:
You scared her away
You never marry her you don budget wetin she go give
When dy say marriage is not a childs play what were you thinking?
As a man provide everything
When it's time she'll also add hers
But your first impression scared the living day light out of her

You don't even have a problem
Just go sip alcohol

Any other lady would be scared away by his contribution proposal. Only desperate women with their biological clock running out with enter marriage under such conditions.

As I said earlier the OP had no set goals for the marriage, his only concern was how much physical cash he will have to spend during the marriage. Number of children was never discussed. Their prospective careers and ambitions was never discussed. How to deal with extended family members were never discussed. How to raise the kids when they are very young and vulnerable was not discussed. If he intends to have three children in quick succession, the first 10 years would be very demanding on the woman. I hate leaving my children with househelps/ relations, due to the numerous horror stories I have actually witnessesed and read online.

Most people have a wrong impression of marriage and that's why most marriages nowadays fail within the first 10 years. In marriage two is supposed to become one. You finances should become one instead of two. The standard of living of both individual should be the same. The two incomes should be aggregated and the living expenses and lifestyle should be calculated on the total join income. The you contribute this, I contribute that approach is too individualistic.

Ok. What happens if the man is sacked and the woman finds a job that pays much more? Would you still insist on the initial contributions or you demand a new contributions formula? What happens if the man has an accident or has a debilitating illness or temporarily incapacitated?

The way the OP broached the issue is very wrong.

Susily:
Women were not created to be pampered and we live in an era of GENDER EQUALITY which is championed by women, so it is not out of place to ask a woman to contribute financially to the running of the home

Will the man also contribute to the going to the markets, cooking, house keeping and helping the children with homework?

pompeiimagnus:
And how many men can afford that lifestyle in Nigeria today? Una go just dey talk anyhow. 300k won’t even pay tuition for 3 children going to very good private schools in PH today.

Not only portharcourt o. N300K won't pay school fees for 3 children per term in a good secondary school/primary school in a good neighbourhood here in lagos.

poiZon:
Life is a journey not a destination.

The 80k salary isnt static but will be subject to review from time to time.
They r people who earn 500k but don't have their own personal house.
They r people who earn 70k but living moderate n comfortable life.

As I said, standard of living. A person earning 70 will live in a small apartment in a low income area. While a person earning 500k might want his family to live in a flat in a middle class neighbourhood

GetMeRight:
It didn't matter the value of the naira back then, the truth is that their income was very low at the time just like many still have low income at the moment

Also standard of living or requirements of living was very low then also. No phone bills, no data bills, no water bills (drinking water), free or very cheap education. Diet was very basic. No Ndomie, rice was only on special occasions. No Gotv/ DSTV, etc.

poiZon:
80k, biscuit is less than 2k a carton depending on type.
Yes there is inflation is but as a family u know what to spend ur money on.
If she can't sacrifice for heself and family, who will she be saving her money for?
If i have a jb of 80k, i don marry.

It all depends on expectations and standard of living, meaning type of house and neighbour you live. Mode of transportation. If you use personal car as the OP proposes, you will spend more than 60k on petrol alone, and we are not talking of car maintenance yet. Nepa bills nowadays is competing with house rent. etc.

poiZon:
Oga 80k na big money..
Our parents earn 50naira back then and thry didnt complain much.

Keyword, back then. Back then when salary was N50 a brand new Peugeot care was N6,000. Education was free and naira was higher than the dollar.

Now N50 can hardly buy children's biscuit.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Incomplete and unrealistic plan.

The plan seems plausible now, but what happens after marriage when children start entering the equation. Education is not the only responsibility you have toward your proposed children. From prenatal to delivery to feeding your proposed children. Pray she doesn't give birth by c-section. Even normal delivery would cost between 80 - 100k. Cost of pampers nowadays na die. Except you want your babies to destroy your house with smell of piss and shit. Baby formula nko. That one cost pass gold. When I think of watin I don pass through in birthing and raising my babies, my prick go just fall.
Then add that to the yearly inflation rate of about 15%, you will see that your 300k and her 80k will pale into insignificance if you want your family to have a minimum standards of living.

You need to invest in the career of both you and your girlfriend in order to increase your earnings to meet the standard of living you are proposing. You girlfriend needs to go back to school or learn a skill that increase her earning power. She is earning too low at the moment to achieve all those contribution targets you are imposing on her. Her personal upkeep and running costs alone would gulp the whole 80k.

kingthreat:
Your Nigeria with oyel money nko

What's the population of Nigeria vs the population of Saudi Arabia vs the oil exports between the two countries?

JONNYSPUTE:
.....And I guess you and your family members suspected his wife due to her actions towards your cousin's mother and generally your family members?

Meaning if you guys have seen any little loophole,you would have used it to accuse her of his death.

Why are you now countering what the op said?

Mind you,I'm not in support of the ops choice of words saying his wife poisoned his mum. But the fact is that she was negligent and careless towards the woman.

His assassination was strange. He was a banker and had no known enemy. He was not into cultism. A bike with a gun man as passenger just pulled up to his car in traffic and shot him twice in the chest. Nothing was stolen from him and his driver was not touched. This is different from a sick old woman with diabetes and hypertension dying.
What does the wife gain by killing the mother in law?

sapoyoro:
you really have such such a terrible family.

And you must have such a wonderful family. All your brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties and cousins must all be trouble free. All their marriages must be perfect.

DeepSight:
And accursed are such married women.



No offense bro, but that your cousin fall hand big time.
Before both God and man.

We all vex, but watin we go do? I was the only one that was still in talking terms with him until he was assassinated on apapa bridge. His priority was his wife and her family.

We all suspected the wife, but then we had no evidence.

JONNYSPUTE:
....You have not answered my question.
Will she also show such negligence if it was her mum? Yes or no.Be honest to yourself. We are not fighting bro.

I have answered you before and I will repeat it again. She will show more care for her own mother because it's is her mother. She is far more emotionally attached to her own mother than her mother in law for obvious reasons. Same also apply to the husband, he should be more emotionally involved with his own mother than his wife's mother.
That is the fact of life!

Should we also blame Silvester's parents for his death because they sent him to a boarding school knowing fully well that it is their sole right to protect and take of their son?

Sylvester's parent's has their own share of the blame for their son's death.
They ignored warning signs about the their son's bullying.
They only report to the school authorities, if it's me I will report to the police or the Lagos State ministry of education. When my son was bullied by a cleaner, I went to the proprietor and threatened to report to the police. The school sent a delegation to my house to beg.

The father did not respond immediately when the school called to come and pick up their child.

The father should have rushed the boy to the nearest hospital once his son told him he had been severely beaten and made to drink something. That would most likely have saved his life. But what did he do? He transported the sick child all thr way to Warri and then took him to the family doctor, some say to a church pastor.

The school has the bulk of the blame for not monitoring children under their care, for not dealing decisively with earlier complaints of bullying and for covering the issue with a bogus claim of football injury.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Oga stop claiming to be smart. Will the wife treat her own mum or neglect her like she did to his Mother? Simple yes or no.

Stop gallivanting around.

I also asked you why we blamed the school authorities in the case of Silvester even though we all know they weren't involved directly to his death,yet no answer.

Infact all I asked you,you didn't make any attempt to answer any of them.

Hey, emotions don't win cases but facts and evidences do.

The problem with you is that you view marriage as a slave/master relationship or at best an employee/employer relationship. It is not. Marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership. Your wife is not hired to be a nurse or care giver to your mother, father, brothers or sisters. She can decide to be magnanimous and baby sit your mother, but it is not a right.

In the same vein, it is not your responsibility B to cater or prioritize your in-laws over your own patents. I don't subscribe to that notion that I must continue to send money or solve the material needs of my wife's parents and family. It is left entirely to my discretion.

For your information my wife even treats my mother better than she treats me and I am always appreciative. But it is not a right.

Reasonwithme2:
Some persons here haven't lived or taken care of old people before and as such, don't know how difficult and annoying they might be. They hate someone telling them what to do even even their life is at risk, only the learned ones can adhere to such instructions. In one way or the other, everyone failed in his or her responsibility.

You are very wise and experienced, unlike most people who just yarn without having any real life experience.

My mum can barely walk and need two walking sticks to walk on an even floor. She always get annoyed if you try to guide her while climbing the stairs in my house.

If I try to stand behind her just in case she falls backwards, but she will get annoyed and tell me to leave her back, because she doesn't need anyone's help to climb stirs. So whenever she is climbing the stairs when I am around, I will pretend I am walking away but hide in a corner watching her until she successfully finish climbing the stairs.

I feel very old people have a death wish and are always looking for people to "Koba" (implicate)

Double0h7:
First of all, I now believe that that thread was one of seun must chop threads so I don't believe that thread. But if we're going to talk for the sake of it then I think if the wife didn't pay too much attention to the food that the victim ate then who's to say she gave her the medication.

That wife could've just neglected the victim. If I was her husband, I couldn't forgive her because she didn't prioritize my mother. That is enough to judge her and conclude that she doesn't make me feel safe. If I don't feel safe with my wife then I need to think about this...

Nobody and I mean nobody will prioritize your mother more than you. If you expect that from any woman or anybody, then you are living in dreamland.

Many married women don't even allow their husband's mother to enter their home.
I had a cousins (RIP) that the wife didn't allow his husband's mother into their home. That my aunty was the sweetest woman in the world. If she comes to Lagos to see her son, they meet at another cousins house.