₦airaland Forum

1Sharon:
Freedom

Lol... Freedom from what? Privacy?

Daveambition:
Meanwhile our own female celebs like Tiwa & Co are here uploading porn on their social media handle to stay relevant..
Rubbish & Cankerworms

So Rihanna is now a saint or what? And what about you as an individual, which one have you received? Y'all take every opportunity to run down your females, is Tiwa the only female entertainer in Nigeria? How does her video define others? A country with less than 400,000 people decided to appreciate one out of the few known faces they've got, and you suddenly believe that your own female celebrities are worthless cause they didn't get a similar award from Nigeria with a population far above a hundred million? Genevieve Nnaji, Stephanie Okereke, etc. that got similar honors from the federal government of Nigeria don't count as female celebrities, you'd rather focus on Tiwa so you can score some points?

Why would any kid do that? Heat?

I wouldn't blame anyone who refuses to snap with random people in Nigeria. It's like everyone in the country is constantly looking for better ways of being mischievous. You could see your picture online the next day tagged to some damning story. And not only will people gladly believe the story, they'd also use it to score points against thier herd (ethnic group, gender, religion, etc.)

Original poster or original post depending on the context.

That's nice. Well deserved. Also glad to learn Barbados is finally moving on.

Oyiboman69:
what is wrong with woman sharing her husband's dream?...women of nowadays want to buid their own separate wealth when in their husband's house and thereby thwarting the man's efforts due to their greeds and insubordinations...

In a country where women get nothing but shame when they're kicked out of their husband's house, I don't see anything wrong with one wanting to have a source of income. A woman is an individual with dreams and aspirations just like a man. Marriage shouldn't cut her life goals short just so she could sit back and watch another person pursue his. OP convinced his wife to leave her business and move to another region with him on the grounds that they'll hustle together. Now, he is backpedalling and you sincerely believe the wife is the one that changed?

Just how has she changed? Is she now spending so much unlike before? Has she not always wanted to do her business? If anyone changed her, it's clearly the OP. The wife didn't ask for money to buy clothes and jewelries, she wants to go out there and hustle. OP didn't say the money wasn't there, just that he'd rather spend it on things he himself now considers more important than the agreed plan. Why do you guys always find a way to blame women for everything even when it's glaring the man is wrong? You guys complain that they don't bring anything to the table. Now you have a lady fully prepared to bring in something, and you're still criticizing her for wanting to do so?

Sexism makes grown-ups seem childish.

You said said she didn't like spending unnecessarily. How has this changed? You think opening her own business is an unnecessary spending? Or you just don't think her own priorities count?

Your wife left her business, moved to a new region hoping to hustle with you as you promised but you'd rather keep her at home to be making kids and serving you while you build your empire out there? In a country where women get nothing if they're kicked out for any reason? C'mon, y'all just spoil your marriage yourselves and come here to blame it on women knowing you'd definitely be supported by an already biased society. Did you make the pre-marriage promises just to get her? I'm asking cause I think you're the only person that changed here. Marriage doesn't change the fact that your wife is an individual with dreams and aspirations just as valid as yours.

You have a point there, OP.

But I'd say we should wait and see. Let's not welcome them with negativity. Let's stay open minded. After all, they weren't exactly stuck in time too. Time changed, so did P-SQUARE. People like Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, etc. have been there since the beginning of time and they still manage stay on top today. This isn't about age but about career peak. If P-SQUARE haven't reached thier peak, they still have time to. Nigeria is a big country, the presence of these other musicians won't stop people from enjoying the duo if they come up with something good. Not going to be easy but they have thier past glory to ride on. Let's see how that works for them.

inoki247:
Women they're always looking for sympathy if na man dem disqualify so he will go home nd goan sock Garri nd drink afta that e tak some nap.....


But women dey will always want things to go dere way...

Women this, women that, it's obvious you're more interested in calling out the opposite gender than acknowledging the societal decay in front of you. If Soludo had gone to soak garri when his name was removed from the list, he wouldn't be here today. You guys always see something in wrong in any move made by a lady to rise above the gender bias in Africa but would happily praise the same move if it were made by a man. She said she was treated unfairly and her name was tarnished in the process. The least she could do is try to exonerate herself and that's what she's doing. Nobody would love to live with any accusation if there's any chance they could clear thier name.

The person is called a doctoral student or a PhD student. One is only called a doctoral/PhD candidate if he or she is done with coursework and examinations.

Lanretoye:
Call your self an idiot,you never even finish the PhD,you don dey find title...your maturity self no carry the phd.wish u good luck sha.

It's very important to know these terms for communication sake.

LiberatedGirl:
Thank God Mary Slessor did not Jam Woundedlamb he would have told her " Killing of twins is a private matter among Yoruba let them do what they want to do ". It's people like Woundedlamb and his cohorts that make Black Africa Backwards. People like Woundedlamb are stuck in " Traditions" and cannot move to the next level of the Evolutionary Curve. If you tell Woundedlamb that people should wash their hands after using public toilets he will say " Washing Hands after using Public toilets is a Matter of Choice, don't bother telling people, let them do what they want." People like Woundedlamb are the type of peeps who don't really care about people all they care about is themselves. Thank God such people have not yet gotten into power. They will hoard everything for themselves and family and say " look it doesn't really matter if people do not have electricity, are they complaining ? ". People like Woundedlamb are the sort of people if they were Minister of Health will say " it doesn't Matter that people smoke cigarettes there is no reason to enlighten them on smoking it is a choice". And you thought Nigeria had bad leaders. Thanks to people like Woundedlamb the future is going to be worse.

You need a hug.

I didn't mean to upset you so much. I just don't agree that there's anything wrong with traditional marriage or marriage ceremonies in general. It's mind blowing someone would even suggest it. It would have been different if you were decrying the act of borrowing-to-impress. But suggesting that marriage ceremonies should be scrapped is overreaching.

I don't live in Africa. I wasn't born in Africa and I've only visited the continent a countable number of times. While I've seen a lot on TV, I've actually only been to one traditional marriage ceremony in my adult life and it was great! These things are beautiful, joyous and memorable for the couple. I don't think you're in any position to tell people not to do what makes them happy. It's fine if you don't want it for yourself, you don't need social media validation.

_{Meanwhile, you know you can always call my attention without all the mentions, right?}

Nice one, OP.

Actually, those are letters of the same alphabet and not alphabets. You might want to correct that.

Thanks for sharing.

Crystalom3:
please keep telling the truth brother.

People will do what makes them happy. Why lump everybody together and call their once in a lifetime experience a crap.

Too much gays on nairaland trying to destroy the family system in Nigeria.

Hhmmm... I agree the OP has zero point and none existent communication skills, but I failed to see how that's the fault of gay people. It's almost as if you're stealing the opportunity to drag others who aren't like you (the same thing the OP is doing). OP hasn't identified as gay and even if she has, she's just an individual with her opinion. You just advocated for people to do what makes them happy, and yet you couldn't wait to call out gay people. How many of your gay friends have told you they don't like wedding ceremonies? I guess none cause you don't have a gay friend seeing as they're beneath your standard. But somehow, you know all about their agenda to destroy the family system.

You think the nature of wedding (traditional, court, white, etc.) has any real impact on the family system that someone who really wants to destroy the family system would be bothered by the kind of wedding people do? In your own words, people will do what makes them happy, even more so when they don't really have other choices. Live and let live.

Dropping this here:

etrange:
The sad thing is that when you preach true equality/justice to Nigerians, each group would start giving reasons why the other group doesn't deserve it. The herd mentality in the country is our greatest undoing. Men don't want to be equal with women, officers don't want to be equal with civilians, politicians don't want to be equal with other citizens, straight people don't want to be equal with gay people, religion A doesn't want to be equal with B, tribe C thinks they're better than D, the rich don't want the same justice system as the poor, etc. Nobody really wants to work towards a fair society. We only cry out when our own herd is antagonized.

LiberatedGirl:
Jesus Mr. Savior if The World said " if your Right hand causes you to Sin Cut it off ". Jesus said " preach to every Creature" when last did you try to convert a Mosquito ? Jesus died on a Cross why don't you travel to Jerusalem and be Crucified. Jesus walked in water, when next you are on IBB Bridge there is a part that is so close to the water near Unilag, you can hop into the water and trek to Unilag untop of the water. Jesus fasted for 40 days without food do the same thing. Jesus Touched people who had leprosy look for people who have leprosy. Jesus had 12 disciples, go and have disciples.

If you claim you respect people's choices you would have left me alone. I have a right to talk about Weddings. You have No right to come close to me and tell me what to say. I said what I said in my zone , you have come to my zone. Off course u dont expect you to understand. Youre trying to change me. Im not trying to change you I'm just talking aloud. You come for my and you say you respect people's views. Have you respected my view ? That's the problem of Christians always poking their noses
into other modes of thinking. . I would not have wasted time talk in to you but since there are many like you this us for them. If I had said everyone should by a TECNO Phone no one would take me seriously but since the love to party they hurry to silence those who have Zero use for parties. If you were wise as you claim you would just read the whole thing, laugh and move on

Nothing you just typed makes wedding ceremonies bad. You are just eager to go off into a miscellaneous chit-chat with neither tail nor head. It would seem you've exhausted your points.

Live and let live.

Ciao !

LiberatedGirl:
I'm Female not male. I do not go to Church and I hadly pray but I read a Bible. Someone called Jesus Christ said " Do not be like the Pharisees who make an Open show " " When you pray go into your Closet and pray " What Jesus was saying is place emphasis on the unseen and do not do things to be praised by others or noticed by others. When I talk it is not based on my own views but on research spanning close to 10,000 years. I do research on the Egyptian Empire. Greece, Rome, my knowledge spans the entire History of the Human race. Believe me I am far from opinionated. I'm a scientist of the highest order. psychologist, psychoanalist. I have said my own o. There is nothing to say again. Ask your self why Africa makes zero contribution to the world technologically. Because we do not read. We read from Social Media and do not do enough research on Google.
It was nice talking to you. I have work to do. Social Media is fun but work has to be done.

You now think it's unbiblical? Well, that's another dead end. The Bible you quoted promoted traditional marriage ceremonies. Jesus attended one and even supplied them with fresh wine. Your quote was against showing off/hypocrisy and has nothing to do with celebration. The Bible has nothing against wedding celebration. And even if that wasn't the case, everybody can't be a Christian. I'd like to believe that it's only the Boko-haram guys that would force thier views on others. There are many reasons Africa is lagging behind, this isn't one of them. China that produces almost all the finished goods around us still takes wedding ceremonies seriously. You are a psychologist, a psychoanalyst, etc, one would think you'd be an advocate of respecting people's choices.

You know what, I actually think you just threw in this last argument cause you're grasping at straws. It's already hard telling if you are against marriage ceremony cause of the finance or the fact that marriages don't last these days or because it's unbiblical. But whichever be the case, it still doesn't hold water. Like I mentioned earlier, if one doesn't have the money for ceremonies, they shouldn't rob the bank for it. If you don't consider it necessary, that's also valid. But you're not in any way superior or smarter than those who do as suggested by your argument. There is nothing wrong with marriage ceremonies, individual preferences just differ. The problem is one thinking that his own preferences make him superior.

I'm sorry for assuming you were a man.

TMKsouth:
Following the discovery of a new, highly mutated Covid-19 variant, B.1.1.529, international travel bans are being imposed on South Africa.

News of the variant - now named Omicron by the World Health Organisation - which has now been detected in Belgium, Botswana, Hong Kong, Israel and South Africa, has rattled the prospect of international travel.

You missed Canada

LiberatedGirl:
Now you are talking. You spend on your pets because you love your pets. You are doing the right thing because it is personal and Private. If you bought a Ferrari and parked it in your bedroom I will praise your choice. When choices are personal and Private they rarely lead to Bankruptcy, it's the choices that " show off " that lead to Bankruptcy. I'm sure you do not invite anyone to come and look at your pets because you don't care about including others it is for you alone. That is what I am talking about if marriage was " real " would people care about inviting the whole world ? When we invite the whole world then it means the invitation is as important as the event meaning the event is not that important. You pets give you joy that you love and you do not include others in that joy, your joy is yours alone. That is true joy.

@bold, the premise of argument does not support your conclusion. How does inviting people imply the invitation as important as the meaning of the event? That's very narrow. Don't use your personal convictions to judge others.

Sir, the desire to spend on certain things has nothing to do with whether they're private, public or anything in-between. It is simply about what makes me happy; whatever rocks my boat. If I were the party type or if watching friends and family dance and eat as a way of celebration was my thing, I'd gladly shut down the city of Montréal on my wedding day.

Fact is, you don't get to say what true joy is for others. You can only define your own true joy.

LiberatedGirl:
What he said in very few words that size of weddings add zero value to the marriage. All those people who laugh and smile with you as they eat your rice, chicken, chivita and Just Juice will not be there for you when things go bad in life or in the marriage. A small wedding will involve only those that are close to you and they will be more committed to you. It's like starting a business it's best to involve only those who can contribute to the short and long-term success of the business. In life you do not need every body only those who contribute meaningfully to you.

I don't really know why you think it's your duty to set other people's priorities. You do you and let them do them. Traditional weddings are not bad. It's perfect if you don't want it. You don't need any validation for that.

LiberatedGirl:
Upholding Traditions that enslave you Financially is not smart. Traditions are Created by Mere Mortals and Can be Changed by Mere Mortals. Because you do something wrong for a billion years does not make it a good thing. Thank God the Yoruba listened to Mary Sclessor and stopped their tradition of Killing Twins. If you do not questions Tradition or religion then one is a Slave. Who will do whatever he/ she is told. When w question practices it's the beginning of doing what will suit you well in the now and in the long run. And what do Asians contribute to the World ? Do they not Clone White Technology. All their so called " inventions " are Mere alterations of what Westerners have done. I am not praising the West or putting anyone down I am just saying in life people who watch how they spend money and time last longer than those who think money will always be there. The latter always go broke. You can do research on " Rappers who went broke" - they did not save and they over spent. Culture without individual thought is extremely dangerous

You missed the whole point. This is not argument about the validity of culture. It's an argument about the validity of choices. The point here is, people do it for reasons that appeal to them. Like I said, we all have things we consider important to us that others don't see as anything. I personally couldn't care less about clothes (or weddings for that matter) but I spent hundreds of dollars on my pets in a month. Some people don't care about pets but would spend just as much money on gadgets. Neither myself nor these people are too rich, but these are just different but valid things we hold at a high esteem. Regardless of how prudent one is, there's always that thing you're always willing to spend on.

So if some people hold traditional wedding at a high esteem and would go out of thier way to have a memorable one, it's just as valid. The fact that they could divorce the next day is not a solid argument against celebrating to one's satisfaction, and you're definitely not in a position to tell anyone which culture to uphold and which one not to. We are all different and your preferences aren't necessarily superior to mine. The issue arises when you think it's your duty to drag those who don't share your perspective to the grave.

Don't get me wrong, you have every right to share your opinion and even advise others if you feel like it. But don't lose site of the fact that it's your opinion and not a standard. And most importantly, don't suggest that those who think differently are less intelligent. Your point is, if you can't afford a traditional wedding ceremony, don't rob the bank for it. This is a nice advice. You don't need to proceed to run down traditional weddings and make it look as if those doing it are dumb.

DonBenny77:
They are fools, they can't do anything. One loan naira sent me money like that without requesting and called me 6 days later bugging my life. I refused to pay they should do their worst.
They are all thieves

Please, don't cling onto another person's entirely different story as a reason to take what doesn't belong to you. If you have thier money, give it back to them. They might be thieves but if you really want to be on the side of the law, be sure to be on the right side. Otherwise, y'all are the same.

MelesZenawi:
Stephen is a total misnomer.

Steven is the right word

Wow! Nairaland.

The name is originally an English name which originated from the Latin word Stephanus (meaning 'crown' or 'wealth'). “Steven” is just an American variant of the more traditional English spelling “Stephen.” Both are pronounced exactly the same way. And both are valid.

SenecaTheYonger:
I’m talking about AA women here. They were the ones championing their cause. But I now see them throwing shades at them. AA women are the most supportive group and will fight for any oppressed group. Something has to be seriously wrong with you if even these AA women withdraw their support.

Anyways, I don’t care. Just something I noticed in passing.

Well, there's no indication whatsoever that African American women were more gay friendly than they are now. Yes, some might see being gay friendly as being woke (cause these individuals see whatever whites do as better) and would go on social media to say things that make them feel good about themselves. But we know who the real champions of gay liberty and equality are. Heck, the AA women isn't even a recognized group or community to start with.

That said, I completely disagree with the statement in bold. The so called AA women are not custodians of wisdom or morality. They are just as opinionated as any other set of individuals. And quite frankly, thier opinion shouldn't have a bearing on how you treat your neighbors wherever you are. I don't even know why we're talking about the US as if any country has the monopoly of producing gay people. The activities of the gay community in the US do not define all the gay people in the world. The main point here should be how you, SenecaTheYonger, perceive and treat people of other sexualities.

This user below said it all.

etrange:
Wow... people behaving like animals. The sad thing is that when you preach true equality/justice to Nigerians, each group would start giving reasons why the other group doesn't deserve it. The herd mentality in the country is our greatest undoing. Men don't want to be equal with women, officers don't want to be equal with civilians, politicians don't want to be equal with other citizens, straight people don't want to be equal with gay people, religion A doesn't want to be equal with B, tribe C thinks they're better than D, the rich don't want the same justice system as the poor, etc. Nobody really wants to work towards a fair society. We only cry out when our own herd is antagonized.

SenecaTheYonger:
Very pompous and overbearing group. Even African Americans are starting to despise them because of that

African Americans have never been known to be gay friendly. Gay people live thier lives like you and I. You only see it as "overbearing" cause you'd rather they went into hiding. A lot of hate crimes are committed against them all over the world and nobody cares. Then the moment they try rise above thier adversity, they're called "overbearing".

If a gay person touches you inappropriately, please make sure they pay for that. Otherwise, please leave them to live thier lives. They shouldn't kill themselves cause they are different. You don't have to be woke to be empathetic. Live and let live.

falcon01:
I used to be shocked why people engage in that act till I realise I've been leaving with a neighbour who was gau and has never ever felt sexually attracted to a woman, I understand how it is from him and I support him. But what I don't like is the way immorality is been promoted all in the name of acceptance.

There is just as much Immorality in the straight community. It's just accepted as normal and only termed immoral when gay people do the same thing.

Nature is diverse. Nature is dynamic. Yet, some people believe it's their duty to dictate what's natural and what's not.

Negroid001:
Your oyibo don dey too much. If you like do wedding, if you like no do. Ticket wey go cut go cut. If dem go Bleep your significan other, dem go Bleep am.

Ugh... I thought I was having a decent discussion.

Ok. Bye.

Negroid001:
Hehe. You wan run...

What? Sorry, you lost me here... I didn't get the message. I'm saying you don't need to get riled up about how others live thier lives or their choice of religion or wedding style. Just do what makes you happy and let others do thiers.

AdaSunshine:
Too soon. Way too soon!

Is this their reason for reconciling? If it is, then it is fake reconciliation.
They need more time to heal, to get back their long lost vibe and genuine connection.
Even their fans need time to get their groove back.

You think they reconciled the day you saw the posts on social media? You only heard about thier reconciliation when they decided to make it public. The only "vibing" they need now is learning how to work together again as performers. And the best way to do that is by doing such concerts. Performing thier old songs together is like a friendly match, it helps them get back into the team mode which is exactly what they need before releasing new tracks.

Negroid001:
If you're a Christian or Muslim, you don throway your culture.

Again, I can only speak for myself. Just do your thing and let others do thiers. Thier wedding, thier money.

Negroid001:
Culture wey we don throway

Well, you can only speak for yourself.

Hhmm... You may have a point but your comments are very condescending. You won't be able to communicate your thoughts by insulting the audience, you'd only end up ranting. I don't even know why you seem so upset when you can just do your wedding the way you want and let others do thiers how they want.

That said, I think most people do the whole traditional wedding stuff just to uphold thier tradition. That's why white wedding is considered optional by many but not the traditional wedding. It's not even an African thing, Asians take thier traditional weddings seriously too. I understand if you don't see the value, but it doesn't make you any superior to those that do. We all have things we consider a big deal that others don't. If one has the resources and wants to do it, I don't see any problem with that. Harmless traditions are beautiful, they give us a sense of identity.