₦airaland Forum

Stop using credit cards ? What should we now use? Cash? In my opinion, credit cards are convenient. In a way, they even help you stay in control of your spendings since the idea of paying off all your expenses at the end of the month can be likened to the idea of you paying yourself salary (this time, just the amount you want to spend in the month). For me, I consider myself as rich as whatevers I have in my credit card (I specifically requested for the minimal amount). I use the card for all my online transactions. It's safe and convenient.

The elephant is such a huge animal!

The most I'd do is to unfollow anyone whose lifestyle doesn't stand well with mine.

Lol... I believe provided no crime is committed and no one is getting hurt, everyone's sexual fantasies are valid. Only a few things delineate the beauty of human diversity as much as sexuality. Don't let anyone tell you there's something wrong with being a sub. It doesn't mean you follow the woman's instructions in your daily life. It simply means you're attracted to authority and you'd definitely like the lady to take control in the pleasure business. Go for what you want, it doesn't make you less a man... though the masculinity of African men is so fragile that everything becomes a threat.

_{Hope the senior prefect is in good hands though.}

Studymore123:
Undoubtedly, environmental factors play a major role in child bringing. The greatest influence though is parental.

If I have any reason to send my child to Nigeria while in the US, I would be relocating with the child, remain there for the entire duration and return with the child.

Many parents I've discussed with appreciate the Nigeria secondary educational system but even if that is the reason, I would remain with the child for the entire secondary education in Nigeria.

Children can thrive in any environment as long as they are loved and properly cared for.

The parents that send their children back home while remaining where they are have a skewed view of child training.

On the other hand travelling and experiencing life in a different environment can be an enriching experience but not in this case.

Your last paragraph is so true. Students exchange programs are underrated. It exposes the kids to the world beyond their horizons. In the absence of that, I think kids should travel a lot if the parents can afford it. I just don't subscribe to the idea of bundling the kids to Africa. Such kids still go to live in the wealthy parts of the city and enroll into schools that are almost like the ones abroad. The major difference is the new guardian.

So I feel parents that send thier kids home aren't confident they can bring up a child in the presence of comfort. Some of them isolate themselves from the Nigerian communities until they start looking for ways to make thier kids "African". Otherwise, there are many ways to immerse the child into the Nigerian culture while living abroad. Moreover, while I adore our culture, I don't think people of other cultures didn't turn out well. They're just different.

The US has got another one on thier plate.

Ikillbrokehoes:
Why always Islam

Lol... you were expecting a Christian to lead Al Qaeda?

purleesh:
Ohhh slow me! I get it now!
All along it's been
man very bad English confident trumps bad food girl confidentially and fineboynl is the ref, aha!

Hahaha.... Ok, you've died me!

purleesh:
Why Did fineboynl's Confident Died When You Let him Know Their English Isn't Good.

Please, men English don't died their confident! Besides, fineboynl's English is still very confidence.

The governor was probably eager to lump them together in order to diffuse criticism. I guess it's not easy speaking up against your own people especially when you think about the innocent ones. But that should be a reason to sit up and deal with the bad ones decisively. Nigeria my country.

Intelligent mad man... lol.

No job description?

The issue is confident? I'm sure it's also very hardworking. And maybe your English died with the confident too.

Lol... everyone wants to call out girls.

The thieves will take the bait.

I wish the dog walker a quick recovery. They could have taken the dogs without hurting anyone.

I don't understand. This is on the front page but has refused to grow beyond page one? It reminds me of a country with a lot of recoures and yet no progress.

justosee:
this is why you need to sacrifice for your children same way your mother will sacrifice for you.

I like you!

Redoil:
our igbo brothers are breaking records

it is high time we end quota system in our national live

Sister*

Lagoon0:
A beautiful transgendered while the other is an ugly female simple!

The man doing two of them is even more useless.

lilvicky68:
When you allow your maid to cook clean and take care of your husband what do you expect..the man has seen that the maid is better than you..nice one sir

Of course... whenever a man does anything in a relationship regardless of how silly it is, we're always here to praise him. Reverse the case and we'd be shouting "fear women", "these hoes aren't loyal", etc. Misogyny is worse than racism.

jaxxy:
I’m happy u said some places in America is more dangerous than Lagos so that clears up the assumption parents are sending their kids to danger zones. Africa isn’t a terrible place it just lacks modern organization and orderliness, there is a lot and I mean alot of potential in Africa. China sees it, the west are gradually seeing it as China has become a threat to their investment and future opportunities in Africa.

Stop the illusion that sending u to Africa is to suffer depending of what u call suffer. Dangote lives in Lagos, otedola lives in Lagos, these are billionaires bt trust me they are street smart to a large degree. Why? They came up through the trenches of Lagos, Nigeria and Africa.

The suffer we speak of is not limited to ur imagination and things ure saying. Its a culture and a system amongst a bigger dysfunctional government system. No system baby sits u here. No NGO feeds u here. And even if u like in lekki and vi u still get the memo one way or the other because u see others dealing with it and u interact.

U will go to places and see regular Nigerians dealing with life in Nigeria. U will get the message and that’s a learning point and knowledge that is very applicable anywhere in then world. Ur parents know better they experienced it and they have compared it to what is obtainable in America and tell u go back home and see another type of life. U are just talking and ranting of what u don’t know and have no knowledge of.

U better come to Nigeria and let me hook u up with some gigs Don’t be scared I got ur back G!!! people are actually living here, we travel and return. My childhood frnds live over there bt always visit. One travels to atleast 4/5 countries every year. We both went through boarding skol life in our secondary skol. It’s fun and learning not just suffering like u imagine it. I wish I cud get him to explain it better cos he’s lives extensively in America b4 visiting and he’s currently in Nigeria as we speak. His parents live here tho.

Lastly nobody has to get into corruption to beat the system. Basic hardwork is still very rewarding here some people are just lazy, disorganized or impatient. Corrupt people are in every country even America and they do it for their own selfish reasons.

Can u speak pidgin English?? Don’t mind me it’s not mandatory Bt on a final note if u really don’t want to come pls atleast go to a Naija community probably in Texas and interact with newly relocated Nigerians u will learn a few and vice versa.

I don't think I said more dangerous but yeah, some places in the US are probably more dangerous than some places in Nigeria if you would exclude the North. However, to be precise, I said tougher. And the point I was making there is that going to Nigeria because it's a tougher environment and then staying on the Island in Lagos in a house probably more beautiful than your American house is just useless. If a child turns out better for for going to Nigeria while still living a wealthy region like most returnees do, it's probably cause the new guardian is more experienced in raising kids in a wealthy environment than his parents are (please, reference etrange's post above).

I am not saying what don't know cause I visit Nigeria. Probably more often than you visit any other country. So with all due respect, I don't think you have more authority to discuss this than I do. The basic idea of smartness there is cheating. You can hardly buy anything without being cheated. Everyone is looking for a way to cheat the system. Nobody trusts anyone. And some of them that come to the US/Canada come by gaming the system and they still look for ways to bypass the system while living here. You see the boys on NL everyday typing "pussy", "pkekus", "toto", "women are useless", etc. Most of them are very unhappy, close minded and aggressive. Of course, I'd raise my kid there if I were living there but sending my kid to that place while I have the chance to raise them here and make the visit Africa? No, that doesn't seem like a great idea.

You don't have to tell me Africa is good. I never said Africa is bad, my continent is awesome even with the limitations. I'm open minded about any region and I believe a child can turn out good or bad just anywhere. A child with African parents within an African community in the US has a perfect combination of the African values and the American standards. Parents that send thier kids home only do that when they've realised they've failed in their duty to raise thier children and they, therefore, need experienced parents to help them. You've spent a good deal of time convincing me Africa isn't a terrible place to raise a child (even though I never said it was), but you're absolutely close minded about the US, exactly the close minded and sentimental nature I was on about.

Yes, I am always eager to meet new immigrants cause I like hearing stories about Nigeria. Sadly, I don't speak Pidgin, I speak English, French and some Spanish. While I admire pidgin and would love to learn it, I think the languages I speak are just enough to take me anywhere. Meanwhile, I be ajepako baba.

jaxxy:
[/b]


U last paragraph show u don’t understand what hardening or the “suffering” I’m talking about is.

Who told u people in the village are stronger or sharper or more hardworking than those in Lagos? Who told u the suffering I’m talking about is necessarily going to a more rural area to starve urself and learn farming? Are they not farmers in America?

I’m talking about a tougher system, where the people’s adaptation rate is not only fast bt high. I’m talking of place that makes u think on ur feet not sleep on ur feet, I’m talking of where u the struggle to survive and get by is serious and u have no options. I’m talking about where there’s alot of competition at all levels not just academic, career bt especially on the street. It’s a multidimensional thing i can’t really explain it.

Let me ask u a question: can u survive is a place where the systems are dysfunctional and frustrating ur life and yet u mange to improvise and come out ontop? Most people brought up abroad will loose it in months because ur system supports u well enough.

Now I’m not saying u won’t probably do well if u never face these kinds of hardships bt like u parents coming out of these kinds of places makes surviving in America like child’s play because uve been through worse.

Some Struggles no be mate!!! If that’s what u want to here I’ve said it. U can compare Newyork fast place life to Texas or LA. It’s something similar to that.

When I say no struggle is superior I’m being diplomatic because All struggle is relatively meaningful bt they are not mates.

DO U UNDERSTAND

And I'm telling you living in a third world system at the age when your mates are learning the basics of a first world system is senseless especially if you intend to return to the first world system afterwards because there's no toughness you won't get anywhere in the world seeing that each country has it's own tough life and impoverished regions. You can always make your child live any lifestyles in the US cause virtually every lifestyle is obtainable here. But if you decide to send him to a region where kidnaping, maiming, car accident, corruption, banditry, terrorism, etc. are the order of the day, that's not building his experience, that's just subjecting him to unnecessary risks and increasing the probability of having a child who believes in the power corruption and gaming the system. Yes, the majority of what y'all call "smartness" in Nigeria is corruption and you don't even know it. Nigeria cannot give what it doesn't have.

You guys always believe yours is the toughest when you know nothing about others'. There's a different between being tough and being dangerous. New York is an extremely tough city. Many black dominated areas are worse than Lagos. In Nigeria, friends lend you money or even accommodate you when you need a place. In North America, you easily end up in the streets the moment you lose a job cause you have credits to pay and cause no one is take you in. By mere existing even without doing anything, your bills are accumulating. People earn just enough for their families and tax is based on the number of dependents you have. Most people are walking bags of loans. There's no free money, you must be independent. So there's always a way to teach a kid survival skills here without sending him home. There's nothing wrong with Africa but it's not worth it sending your kids home just when they need America the most. Secondary education here is where the actual transformation happens. Parents that bundle thier kids home are those who have failed in their responsibilities as African parents and they're just seeking help elsewhere.

Now tell me, how many people that send thier kids to Nigeria actually subject them to the so called tough life? None. They all end up in VI/Ekoyi (places better than many regions in the US) and they hardly know what goes on on the Mainland. Who is deceiving who?

jaxxy:
I think the problem of ur argument is U cannot understand what u have not experienced. Only the person that has gone through it can emphasize better about it’s great importance. If u’ve never walked the shoes to understand u will only argue based on what u brain can comprehend.

Nobody says u can’t succeed without experiencing African struggle bt Ure parents who now live in America bt struggled in Nigeria 1st might see not lack of struggle in the American System. Why it’s alot easier now even though many real Americans are still lazy.

Adaptation skills is what we are talking about if goes beyond snow, ure not an Eskimo leaving and working in Alaska.

Most migrants family did well in American because of the struggle they learnt from in their previous countries and did well In America without any American struggle.

My point is since real Americans are mostly lazy And American was built by migrants who had experiences from elsewhere it’s hard to define the American struggle clearly.

While no struggle is superior they are different. That difference counts for Smtn and it about weather issues. The Americans system is quite good so u don’t have to worry about a lot of things if Ure hardworking. In Africa hardworking or not h must feel the heat because the system is poor. U have to know what ure doing and be on ur toes here. Over there Ure relaxed.

Have u treck from skol home b4? Have struggled to get urself things because the system which shud provide it wouldn’t?? Have seen people around struggle to just eat 1 or 2 square meals?? No NGO or churches share food and clothes here every week or 2weeks. U don’t even have suffer Any if this to understand it our poor systems will train u to appreciate a far more better and robust system. U will appreciate the gaps and see even ideas u never imagined.

U will notice some things/privileges u take for granted In the American struggle/System. My point!

You start with "while no struggle is superior ... " and then you still go ahead to tell me why the African struggle is superior. You accuse of me not having enough experience to support my argument; fine, I've only been to Africa, Asia Europe and North America. I think that's fair enough even if it's not sufficient. What's the experience that makes you more suitable than myself to discuss the subject?

And who are the original Americans? The blacks sold into slavery aren't original, the whites that moved from Europe to the US during the colonization era aren't original, we immigrants that moved voluntarily afterwards are original. The only people that are original to the US and Canada are the aboriginals (red Indians). So even the so called lazy ones are immigrants too even if they aren't G1. In Nigeria, we have the hardworking ones and a lot of drug pushers, kidnappers, rapists, scammers, touts, etc. It is the same in the US, there are many hardworking people here as well as the lazy ones. So that's not a point at all.

All I've heard you say is that Africa has a more difficult environment but one doesn't necessarily need to grow up in a more difficult environment to turn out well except that's where you intend to live. Asia has some extremely poor states with more difficult life than what you see in many parts of Nigeria, yet they don't send their kids away for hardening. There's no pride is suffering, otherwise, Nigerians would be sending their kids to CentraAfrique, Uganda, etc. to grow up.

Here is a question to settle this: if you were living in Lagos, would you send your children to the village to do their secondary school while farming just cause you want them to turn out fine? Do people do that over there since kids in the village are stronger and more hardworking? Or If your answer is no, there's no point arguing this. Useless suffering doesn't make anyone great. Meaningful experiences do and they can be gotten anywhere.

RisenPhoenix1:
It has changed a lot. But it's not only the Western world. Things have changed back home too. A visit to a strict disciplinarian for a couple of weeks a year might have been sufficient back then, but not any more;



That is too simplistic. Obviously you should know that it couldn't have been an isolated incident, and I was not using it as evidence of anything, merely as a basis for asking whether you or someone you know ever did the same.



Kids pick up more from their peers than from their parents. Having said that, there are some methods of discipline that can get you reported by nosey neighbours or teachers to CPS and have your kids taken away.



I relocated back before I got married; though I take my kids for occasional visits to their cousins; at least before covid. In the last period, we'd been exploring African travel though. Europe is becoming one vast uninspiring morass of concrete and glitz. Nothing more to learn there. I find Africa to be way more interesting. I'll probably send them back when they want to enroll in the university; or I might not. South Africa and even Nigeria have good schools as well.

Whatever change that might have occurred out here couldn't have been here alone. Like you said, it's global. The detoriation is taking place everywhere thereby making the environmental comparison status to remain constant. If you didn't need to go home when both were fairly good, you definitely don't need to go home when both have gone bad. Nigeria of today is a decayed country, very unsafe.

Glad the 911 example was a side note. As for the discipline method, many of us who weren't flogged like horses didn't end up crazy. I'd like to believe you didn't too. So I don't think the need to do that outweighs the benefits of raising your kids wherever you live and where they'd eventually live.

We've argued long enough that it's beginning to seem as if I have issues with raising kids in Nigeria. No, I don't. What I do have issues with is sending off your kids to Africa while you live here. And to be sincere with you sir, you don't even seem to me as someone that would that. I think your kids are in Nigeria cause you're now in Nigeria. Otherwise, you'd have been with them anywhere you are while travelling around like you do now.

jaxxy:
I never said superior bt rather different.. Check all those people’s childhood most if not all struggled. Jeff, Oprah, musk, Zuckerberg.. Now almost all of them have immigrants backgrounds and upbringing especially those who didn’t have to struggle cos their immigrants parents struggled b4 coming to America and transferred that mentality to them.

Zuckerberg and bill gates didn’t succeed by any American struggle. They were relatively rich and learnt from their parents and frnds.

Tell me what the core American struggle is about?? Running 3 jobs and doing stint jobs, a few go to college. Most black Americans excel through sports and music. Most are lazy and comfortable with handouts from government.

Why I said African struggle helps is because up till this day migrant Africans are still excelling and it is no coincidence. Their background struggles were from Africa or their core African training from their parents.

Jews and some Europeans have theirs also. I repeat most of the people who built America are immigrants families with mostly Non American struggle backgrounds. Go check!

You need to pick a position, man. You're not saying superior, yet you believe the American struggle is limited? You are not saying superior, yet you are undermining the American struggle as just running three jobs and all that? You don't need to use the word superior before it can be inferred that you believe the African struggle is more worthwhile.

It's funny cause to you, it's more about which of the struggles is more difficult but that's not criterium. The criterium is which struggle prepares one to survive in the environment where one intends to live. No amount of struggle you can ever have in Africa will prepare you to do construction work in the snow under -25°C. No amount of struggle in Nigeria prepares to you navigate a country where racial dichotomy is at its peak. American struggle isn't just about doing shifts and playing sports, especially for blacks. That's Hollywood bullshit.

I even wonder if you still remember what we are talking about. You are making this about the contribution of immigrants. We are not arguing about who built America. Apart from aboriginals (red Indians), virtually everybody in Canada/US has an immigrant background. Thier parents struggled, that's fine. It doesn't affect the fact they made it in US without having to go back to their parents home countries to suffer small and that's exactly my point. Bill Gates father weren't super rich. His parents were upper middle class just like my parents. He navigated the American system. Oprah Winfrey grew up in the ghetto at a time when blacks were almost nothing. She struggled and made it. Nobody's struggle should be undermined.

My parents struggled the African way, they excelled in Africa before coming here. I am in America, it's illogical for me to go and struggle the African way, and then come back to navigate the American system. Suffering on its own is not the real goal, doing what equips you to survive in your type of environment is the goal and there's no better place to prepare for the American life than in America itself.

jaxxy:
So what topic I’m a discussing about. All the billionaire immigrants who made America where do I think they got their struggling experience and adaption skills from? America or their previous country? Struggle is struggle and NON is useless to any environment. And to let u know American struggle is very limited, same as uk. Why do u think many Africans and NON Americans who struggled in their country come to America and do well? They mostly Excel why? because African struggle as much as u look down on it cannot be compare to American struggle. Whites in a America don’t struggle they are even lazy. The black American struggle is also limited and different and African Americans can even relate to it because of difference in backgrounds.

Even whites appreciate African struggles. They know it’s a preparatory ground for wonders. Ure here talking American struggles. U can not have same mentality as a black American because u have different histories. Their struggles streamlined, whites don’t have much struggles. Most are lazy.

You say struggle is struggle and at the same time, you try to make the African struggle seem superior while that of the US is limited. That's contradictory. Where did Bill Gates struggle? Where did Mark Zuckerberg struggle? Where did Jeff Bezos struggle? Where did Oprah Winfrey struggle? The struggles are different but each is suitable for its environment. American struggle could be limited for anyone that plans to live Africa but for a kid who plans to live in the US, struggling through the goods and bad of the American system equips him better. That's not even subject to debate.

Draslo:
Doesn't matter really. I went to secondary school with kids of politicians and billionares here in Nigeria. Majority of them travelled abroad very often but we're mostly raised here. A vast majority went abroad for tertiary studies. I am proud of many of them today. They're excellent in their fields and are very independent.

Yeah, I believe those kids (with the same parents) would have still turned out just fine regardless of the continent.

jaxxy:
Ur mindset is just biased towards Africa. U look down on their struggles and admire the struggle in America which may even be worse and more dangerous if we go real enough. U look down on African struggling systems even more than a curious white man or westerner.

It’s quite sad u have no point beyond bias towards ur continent.

U think the billionaires in Beverly Hills all cane from comfortable backgrounds? Some where immigrants from worse places than Africa. Ask the Jewish Americans, some others came from worse poverty and systems Than Africa if u don’t know and it was that background that prepared them to succeed at all costs in a foreign land.

Don’t despise suffering or failure. Build positively from it.

Check out kids who had it all rosey with no adaptive training they are mostly dependent by nature.

I think you're discussing another topic; interesting but far from where we are. African struggles can never be undermined. And no country's struggles are superior to those of another country. Each country has it's own struggles. My point is, if a child is going to live in America, let the child face the American struggles. That way, the child will be better equipped for the American life. The same goes for Africa. I only have a problem with those who make it look like the African struggle is the standard struggle. They send the kid to Africa to learn skills that won't help him in America. While his mates are learning what they need to survive in the American society. To me, that's the real bias born out of sentiments and attachments. Yes, going home to learn the culture/language is good but not with the purpose of subjecting the kid to a hard life. Thanks.

RisenPhoenix1:
If I didn't, it's because I spent almost all my holidays back home with my grandparents who talked sense into my foreign head. But times have changed drastically now. I wouldn't want my children growing up abroad in these times when children are given too much freedom.

And the reason why I asked was that a friend's kid called 911 on him in the US. He has already sent all his family back home while still working there. Children are given too much power. I'm not a fan of beating kids, but every so often, a whaling on the nether regions is very highly recommended.

All my kids are "why" kids as well. They didn't have to grow up abroad to become so. Overall, I'd say that they are much better adjusted than their cousins who are still living in the UK, and not having grown up as part of a minority; are much more confident in their own skins. I'm all for a little pride in oneself. Difficult to carry off when you're part of barely tolerated minority.

I don't think the western world really changed dramatically from what it was 20 years ago. If visiting home was all it took for you to turn out fine, that would have be sufficient for your kids as well.

A kid called 911 and you think that sufficiently supports your argument? Well, I've been on this app for almost 10 years and I've lost count of how many times I read stories of children who killed thier parents. But then I understand there'll always be exceptions. You need to understand that too.

Your kids are the "why" types. They didn't have to stay abroad to be that cause of the way you raised even in Africa. Likewise, your kids can imbibe whatever habit you want them to imbibe even while living abroad. I believe kids here are bolder, more curious and more inquisitive. But most importantly, they more practical and less sentimental.

Did you send your kids home or you now live in Nigeria too? If it's the later, then your case is entirely different.

jaxxy:
U are deviating. One of ur points was suffering aspect. I didn’t say it can be experienced elsewhere besides Africa. But as an African it’s easy to relate with it here than in American ghettos. My definition and perspective of suffering is wife and broad bt that danfo u jump is all part of it in the natural world. Have u gone camping b4? Do U see how they cook their meals? They don’t bring gas cookers and stuff even though they can afford to. They want the camping experience. They make a fire, some learn how to do it the caveman style from dry grass. They sleep in tents with no Ac. That’s suffering in the controlled world.

Africans who have been trying to escape suffering all their lives and who only like enjoyment and show off won’t understand why whites to some of these hard experiences. It’s an opportunity to learn. When they visit rural places in Africa it’s an opportunity to learn even though it’s though and smtmes dangerous. Backs/Africans have the mentality of trying to escape this bt forget its a valuable learning experience.

Ur Confort zone is not the most productive place.

Don't get it twisted. I created this thread and my take has always been the same, you do not need to take your kid to Africa to suffer small. Every other thing I say, revolves around this.

Training inside forests and all that, are partly fun and partly for experience (an experience that could come handy given our immediate environment). It's tasky but it's a also a structured learning process. That's beautiful. But going to Africa to suffer and then learning how to survive in Africa while you'll end up living in America isn't ideal to me. Camping and coming back home afterwards is different from a baby carrying a bucket of water.

RisenPhoenix1:
In that case, I'm probably more objective than you are. I grew up in the UK, but chose to come back to Nigeria and raise my kids here even though I could just as easily have chosen to stay there. By picking the African raised child, I'm going against my own upbringing.

Tell me, did you ever call 911 on your parents? Were you never tempted to? And are your parents still together? Be truthful.

No bro, I don't think you're more objective. I'm just more practical and less sentimental. I didn't turn out bad. My friends didn't. So what's the basis for choosing an African kid if not sentiments?

No, I didn't I call 911 and I wasn't tempted to. I was only the "why" type. And I'd like my kids to always ask "why" too.

My turn to ask you: Be honest, did you turn out bad being an abroad raised kid yourself?

RisenPhoenix1:
Don't mistake politeness for respect. It is politically correct to be polite to everyone you talk to, but that doesn't imply respect at all. As an example, just observe how they treat strangers and foreigners compared to how Africans treat strangers and foreigners. Especially in Scandinavian countries. I agree they'll smile and thank you for opening the door, but never notice you beyond a frown if you are of no use to them.



There is little family support. Everyone is literally on his own financially. No one even thinks of taking his/her parents to live with them. And no, care homes are not only for when one is not around, they often lodge them there permanently, with fewer and fewer visits as time goes by. In Africa, we don't even have such homes. I call my parents every day and I escape at least every two or three days to taste my mother's superior cooking. My kids are as close to their grandparents as they are to us. Family relationships in Africa is a whole different category from that in Europe or the US.



It doesn't have to be so. Apart from the manners and values, an American is probably tens of thousands of dollars in debt by the time he's out of university. An African goes there with a fresh degree, no crippling debt and an enthusiastic perspective for the future. And within one year, he is better off than many Americans. Emigrants almost always tend to excel. Throw an American into Nigeria on the other hand, and he's helpless once his cash runs out. He can in no way cope with life, and will probably run straight to the US embassy and beg for help. So aside from values and culture, an African upbringing teaches us adaptability. I would like my kids to be survivors wherever they find themselves. But I guess everyone will have their perspective on this.

I believe I've always gotten the respect I deserve here. I grew up here and I'd know when people are pretending. At least, I'm not pretending so I don't think my mates are. Oh boy, the way people type on NL (even grown up men), it would take a supreme being to convince me Nigeria is a better place to raise a kid.

Parental ties aren't necessarily bad here. North America is the most diverse continent in the world. The environment and mindset of a child is usually a function of the environment the parents immerse him in. That we have care homes doesn't mean a typical Nigerian raised here will then dump their parents there. It doesn't mean the family tie you're so proud will automatically disappear. Let's not forget this isn't a comparison between an African kid and an American kid. It's a comparing between an African raised abroad by African parents and the one raised in Nigeria. The child who grew up in an African home abroad doesn't need to come to Nigeria to appreciate family ties. It's naturally the way the African home is structured regardless of where. To me visiting home is enough. Even if you want to send him home, it shouldn't be to "suffer small". Maybe cause you want him to learn local languages.

Finally, the hypothetical scenarios of taking kids to the other side to know how they'd fare sounds appealing but that's theory. The reality is that it's always one way (less privileged moving to more developed countries). Seeing that no American citizen moves to a place or gets stuck in a place he'd have to fight for danfo. So even if the "small suffering" needed, it would be to the practical degree that will be beneficial to the child. And I think I can create that here.

This is not to undermine your point, I'm only adamant cause I grew up here and I have many African friends who did as well. I used to visit Nigeria and I've been on this app for about 10 years. I do not think the immigrants or Nigerians at home are better than myself. Sorry, it's personal. Lol.

Cause women aren't allowing them get away with anything these days. You cheat, you're in trouble.

RisenPhoenix1:
No. In western culture, many don't love their parents. They feel zero responsibility towards them once they turn 18 and sometimes run away from home well before that.

And Africans are not always choiceless about respect. An adult will naturally help a random elderly person carry his/her bags. The thing with respect though, is that it's usually given to elders and betters, true, and expected from the young and less well placed; where it is only reciprocated if it is given. In western culture, people are equally bound by litigation and rules to behave well in public, and not all whites are polite...far from it.

Yes, many Nigerians do drugs, as fo whites, but no Nigerian does it Infront of his parents or elders, out of respect. And it's not fear; after all what can an aged parent do to him? Cane him?

Why an adult alone? Why an elder? Why a boss? Why a superior? Any respect given to these kind of people are given cause of what people would say. The kind of respect artisans, employees, younger ones, and less skilled people get here, I've not seen in Africa. When I say fear, it doesn't mean anyone will be flogged. It's just that they worry about how they'd be perceived.

I don't know where you get the impression that people don't love thier parents out here. Maybe it's a matter of the country where you live. An only child whose job involves traveling around has the option of getting a help for the aged parents or lodging them in care homes when he's not around. And people do both. Some age people don't have kids and the government takes care of them. These don't imply people don't love their parents. Family comes first everywhere.

My grand point is, Africa isn't necessarily a better place to raise a child who will still live a good deal of his in America. Children are better of raised in the region where they'd live so that their personal experiences can come handy.