₦airaland Forum

They're liassets

queenfav:
best reply for op..I have aunts that almost ran mad when their kids were growing up.The husband is never involved o,rather he will go upstairs in their duplex,shut the door of his room and leave her to deal with all their tantrums.Oga you should appreciate your wife,cos taking care of kids can drive you insane.I give my aunts props because kids can make u lose your mind.E no easy at all o.The kids will turn the house upside down,spoil things,cut their leather chair with blade,draw pictures on walls and all sorts of annoying stuff. Its your wife that gets to see all that crap mostly,so allow her discipline them. I am sure you don't know what she is passing through to make sure your kids don't end up being spoilt brats.Its better you mould your kids now to be well behaved, than later o.Not when they are already wild you start asking God 'why me?'

Stop talking trash. You don't shout at kids for any reason and call it discipline. It affects their psyche negatively. If a mother is frustrated, she should go and play Ludo or something ...

OP, talk to your wife and make her realize the consequences of shouting at kids. Maybe she would have a rethink once she realizes her actions are turning her kids into vegetables

Is the conspirators aware of his changed behaivour and what are they doing to remedy the situation?

Is the man having sex with the wife at all?

babygirlfl:
@ Yourcoffin

Take a look at this sections of our constitution tution

353. Any person who unlawfully and indecently assaults any male person is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for three years. The offender cannot be arrested without warrant.


360. Any person who unlawfully and indecently assaults a woman or girl is guilty of a misdemeanour, and is liable to imprisonment for two years.

Do you think this is discrimination or not?

Apologies, need to take care of s/th. I'll be back to answer your question

babygirlfl:
Ok. Apart from that part, I think there are so many other bits of our constitution that shows that woman are discriminated in one form or another. Forget the writers interpretation, look at our constitution and tell me if you honestly think there is no form of discrimination.

I have a pdf format of the Nigerian constitution and like I said, to the best of my knowledge there's no form of discrimination in it. If you think there's, just point it out, I'll be happy to verify

babygirlfl:
See my post above. It has been tested in court. A Nigerian woman could not confer citizenship on her foreign husband. Are you saying the fact that a man can confer citizenship to his foreign wife while a woman cannot is fair?

yeah, I read it but the story is too vague to arrive at a reasonable conclusion. Due to the limited time I have in my hands, I was waiting for Coogar to deliver on his promise

coogar:
the writer is obviously trying to be captain save-a-hoe! his point of view is a disgrace.



not quite.....
we dunno the details of the case. vayola sears herself doesn't sound nigerian.....even if she were to be, there's a due process to be followed before conferring citizenship on a foreign husband.

•she has to marry him
•the husband has to stay in nigeria for x years
•the husband must be of a good conduct
•etcetera etcetera.

how are we sure all these conditions were met? there has to be a cogent reason for her case to be thrown out. the fact that the writer didn't mention what really happened is suspicious.

I don't blame him sha. I blame the blogging trend

coogar:
i fail to see any sort of discrimination myself. the OP said.... The Constitution provides in Section 26(2) that a woman who is or has been married to a citizen of Nigeria may be registered as a citizen of Nigeria, but silent as to whether a woman married to a foreign national can confer Nigerian nationality on her foreign husband.

the silence is actually an advantage to the nigerian women cos when there's no law, there's no crime. if the constitution remains silent over an issue it then means if any woman were to marry a foreign national, nothing can stop her from conferring the nigerian citizenship on her foreign husband since the law does not expressively say she has committed a crime if she were to do so.

where's the discrimination in that? since when did the nigerian passport even bear any relevance in the grand scheme of things. 3 of my oyibo friends got the nigerian passport the same day in lagos. there was no rigorous check done or anything. they rubbed palms, they were made to wait for few hours & their passports were issued to them.

mcchewwww!

Exactly. To the best of my knowledge, Nigerian constitution doesn't portray any discrimination against any group, sex or race. Discrimination is witnessed only in it's application and that's where the writer should have focused on, not embarking on a malicious campaign to mis-represent the constitution.

I think Crackhaus already did justice to this writeup. The writer is a fraudulent fellow in the sense that in his/her attempt to sound discerning, he/she tried to mask his/her limited knowledge of the law with ambigous vocabulary.

Propaganda doesn't help any cause

I'm not married, so I can't claim to understand your situation. But, from what you wrote here, there' re two important things to consider because every other thing depends on it.

1. How much savings do you have, can it last you for at least a year?

2. How soon can your business kick off in terms of profitability? Will it exceed the maximum period your savings can last you?

If the answer to 1 and 2 is yes, you can quit your job and stay close to your family.


If the answer is no, you can't quit your job. Both of you have to find a way to adapt to the situation. People have survived worst situations. If you can hire a househelp for your wife the better, at least standard of living in Benin is quite low.

The way I see it, there's no right or wrong decision here. Just tough decision that will help toughen your family and build you guys to outlast tougher times.

Wish you all the best.

No. It causes indecent thoughts which can lead to rape

The moment both sexes realize that in Nigeria today everybody is looking to maximize benefits from relationships, the better for them. It's wise to just accept the reality and try not to put yourself in a position where you'll be on the losing side.

A technocrat in this context is someone appointed by a non-technocrat. In order words they've technocratically lost their technocratic skills

How the slaves are being conned into believing they're the slavers....

Buy a decoder and plug it into the woman's phone when next she's speaking

I think when a man's tolerance has stretched beyond his inability to control the urge to hit his wife, he should run to the nearest court and sign the divorce papers.

They choose to embrace "opposing ideas of
what is falsely called knowledge" (1 Timothy 6:20
NIV).

When you consider the impacts these scientists who chose to embrace "opposing ideas" have made on the world against those who don't embrace it, you'll understand the main reason why most of them don't belive in God.

Religion kills curiosity and since curiosity is the tenet of scientific discoveries and inventions, they will always choose to be curious. As a result, they inadvertently become opponents of religion and everything that restrains the acquisition of knowledge.

And I think it's a pretty good stance for humanity to adopt since more than a million years of practising religion hasn't gotten us anywhere.

Interesting. Valid points. All it needs is more traction

If your friend hit him first, she should go on with the wedding. If not, cancel it sharp sharp

Okay. I hope his speech won't devalue the naira further

vanbonattel:
which wood, we rock with concrete, 5 decking no be moi moi

Taa! When una begin build with concrete? No be yesterday? Lol Anyway, I salute the advancement sha.

babyfaceafrica:
So no mud houses in SE/SS?......I hear you....tribal bigot!!!

SS don't build mud houses. Their terrain doesn't encourage it. Instead, they build theirs with wood. SE has less mud house than the states OP mentioned

I'll just be dying and resurrecting anytime I want. If I hear sey earthquake wan happen or Boko Haram come attack Naija, I go just die and resurrect after e don happen

You get to play video game all day and mix weed in your rice and nobody will question you why

"Are you sure you're not depressed because everything you wrote sounds like you're having suicidal thoughts?"

"Eya! Signs of depression."

The above texts are snippets culled from comments left by certain individuals on a thread in this section. The OP had posed a soul-searching question, rather than provide an answer to his question, a number of the commenters assumed the thread was born out of depression and therefore concluded that the OP must be nuturing suicidal thoughts. Although the commenters deemed their comments to be helpful, the characteristic undertones clearly suggest they have a one-directional view on the subject of depression. It clearly portrays that they strictly view depression as a destructive stimulus and their opinions are representative of the general society's.

This observation led me to write this post. Despite that many will consider it a long post, my intention is to provide a balanced view on depression, so that when next someone is observed to be in depressed, a knowledgeable advice can be given to the person.

Contrary to popular belief that a depressive mind is a suicidal mind, depression is actually the opium of creativity (apologies to Karl Marx). According to Paul Andrews, an Evolutionary Biologist at Common Wealth University, "depression is meant to stop you in your tracks because like physical pain, it's a signal that there's something wrong and you need to fix it." This postulation rings true when considering that many times in a rational human life, he/she must have gone through several bouts of depression. Because it's only in that moment that you can trully be able to probe your sense of worth. It's the only during depression that one can be able to develope an accurate consciousness of oneself. It's only during that moment one can form a clear defintion of who one is, what one was, what one has become and where one is heading to.

When in a depressive state, your entire being opens up to you. Your brain's capacity to process information triples because at that moment it completely eliminates trivial thoughts and focuses on the ones that matter. You become able to access your deepest memories. You suddenly become aware of the tiny details about your surrounding and how you fit into them. You begin to make mental calculations in an unsurpassing speed. If you've never formed an opinion before, you begin to form one then. Your whole being becomes a computer; accessing, processing, discarding and retaining information at an overwheming rate. A feat you can never be able to achieve if you're not in a depressed state.

If all this is true, why then do many people portray depression as a sorely destructive state?

The answer to the question is mainly due to the unbalanced representation of depression. Globally, many suicide cases have been wrongly attributed to depression. What people fail to realize is that making a case for such stance is like saying cars are the cause of accidents. They often neglect to consider the driver in-between and that driver in this case is FRUSTRATION.

Frustration is the main cause of suicide, not depression. Like Paul Andrew said, depression helps one to identify the problem in one's life and when one aren't patient enough to figure out a means to solve the problem frustration begins to set in. The more impatient one gets the more explosive the frustration becomes and when it get's to a level where one can't accomodate it anymore one seeks the easiest way out- which is suicide. Of course it can easily be argued that the former gave birth to the latter but doing that is simply overreaching, because the same depression helps exercise the mind and stimulates creative thinking.

However, like every powerful drug, depression have a devastating side effect, hence the pervasive misconception. It makes one prone to intractable frustration. It's illuminating, though, to note that this side effect is mainly experienced by those who are inexperienced on how to handle it or lack the patience to think things through. These set of people are so aversed to brain-tasking activities that they prefer to engage in superficial methods of accessing one's consciousness through activities such as enrolling in Yoga classes and practising the act of meditation. It never occurred to them that when they engage is such practices, they're basically attempting to construct a depressive state in their minds. The realtionship between them and depression is as understandable as the case of forcing an inexperienced pilot to pilot an airplane.

Can these set of people still be able to handle depression? Can they still be able to harness the constructive power of depression? Yes. But only if people will shed their fear of it and start encouraging them to be patient enough not to give in to frustration. They should be adviced to find a nonviolent way to release their frustrations rather than keep it inside. So, when next you see a depressive mind, don't accuse him/her of nurturing suicidal thoughts. Simply tell the fellow to make the best out of it.

I hope she didn't give him kids. I wonder what he would have done if he'd had walked in on his kids dancing in front of a TV. A bleeping TV!

vague:
Let the truth be told. With most black guys its self-hate. Why do i say that?

You marry a woman just to have biracial or light children because in society thats what beauty is associated with. Why won't you want your children to have your complexion or your hair or your lips or your nose? Its because you don't think its attractive enough, therefore you need someone to correct "the mistakes" in you, so you can use your offspring to feel like you belong in society.

This's the number one problem with you people: always projecting your own thinking into someone elses. Can't you guys accept that choices have nothing to do with self-hate.

If I'm to go by your logic, what do you call those who love to date black women: self-loving?

kevinberry:
Lol..why say so

You haven't met me, that's why

If she can marry me, yes. But the devil knows a feminist can't marry me

SAMBARRY:
yes of course

Very true. Make's me remember Vary's quote in a SOIAF: 'when I see what desire does to people, done to this country, I'm glad I'm not part of it. Besides the absence of desire leaves one free to pursue other things.'

Slave to desire rubs one of freedom of thought.

Edit: misquote

SarahBabyxx:
na you dey answer am na

I'm only according him his right to dignity

jimi4us:
from your username we know where it is. In Your family Coffin

Did I kill your goat?