₦airaland Forum

I absolutely agree with you, Richy4.. OP, he has said it all..

However, I can't help but chuckle after reading his last paragraph.. I remember when I stayed briefly in a rural setting somewhere in Western Nigeria, I had a friend who taught English Language in a nearby "private" school.. She would always come back tired and frustrated cos in her words "the students weren't cooperating worse still they didn't even want to".. They just kept conversing amongst themselves in their local dialect as well as return their homeworks either undone or poorly written.. They couldn't be as much as bothered, oh how I pitied her..

I digressed.. Now, I'd tell you why they didn't see reason to cooperate with their English teacher.. It seemed useless to them cos they'd only get to "speak" that English in school as their parents would turn a deaf ear or find it offensive when they respond in English, until they switch back to their dialect with apology ofcourse lol.. And nope, it doesn't only happen there, infact this same thing goes on in most of our various indigenous communities.

OP, I know this doesn't in any way answer your question(in the title of your thread) but this was what came to my mind while reading Richy4's last paragraph haha last sentence to be precise.

Hmmm while I'll agree that most people really do not know how to hold proper conversations and the few that can, seem pretty extinct but I assure you, they're everywhere maybe not in hundreds or thousands.. I'm quite positive that in due time other factors may come out to play as well in terms of preferences, as Kondomatic stated, everybody sure do have preferences and sometimes things don't work out the way we envisioned it to be.. Why am I saying this? I know you already stated the kind of women you're very much attracted to and would want to be in relationship with(correct me if I'm wrong), there are other qualities you'd like to find in your significant other right.. Okayy, what if she doesn't tick any of the other boxes but she ticks this one in particular, would it still stand? That's something to ponder on yeah.. How about if she ticks some but not all, is that okay? If yes, then good.. Alot of people can't effectively decide which attributes will be instrumental to a genuinely happy & healthy relationship and to place them higher wrt their preferences, I really hope you do..

Alright, I'll drop my pen here.. Just keep an open mind for a start, get that queen and go with the flow.. Good luck!

What a vile and bitter soul you have as a lifetime companion.. Who is she to tell you to stop offering financial assistance to your mother, her supposed mother-in-law? Why on earth would she want you to send money to your mum through her? So she can exercise power as she would love to, she would then decide whether or not your mother really needs the money and if she's to divide the money into a billion or million parts before sending.. Someone that tells you when and when not to help take care of your mum, I bet she doesn't do that when her mum or family is involved.. I'd be wary of her if I were you, that woman is capable of anything and can go to any length to achieve her aim.

Nna ehh, small matter una don drag baba God enter am, na wa una o..

This is March and it's usually very hot as dry season lasts from November to March.. It's usually at its peak in March hence the unbearable heat.. I have reasons to believe that there's climate change with the 3days Harmattan we experienced in February but this one is normal..

March too dey hot kaiii! Even nepa no con dy give pesin light, dem dy also talk sey the hot weather dey affect power distribution, everything jus dy overheat anyhow make e for no blow.. If rain con fall, we go still wait make wire dry, wahala be like bicycle for this Nigeria aswear.

OP, it will do you sooo much good if you can get an accommodation within a relatively close proximity to Surulere where you work, I can't now begin to enumerate how much prolonged your lifespan will be, omooo for inside this Lagos? it can never be overemphasized o..

Check around those places that have been suggested to you by other nairalanders (provided it's not sooo far from where you work & even if it is, most importantly you can deal with it logically), do your due diligence.. Also as BSdetector and Ephemmm suggested, if you find one or two guy(s) that wouldn't mind splitting the rent with you, even better.. You can work your way around this, I assure you.. The keyword is just don't lose focus!

I like to think that amazing things happen for my own good.. It doesn't dispute the fact that some people "make things happen" but then God is supreme and I believe that there's nothing that can happen without his knowledge..

As such I don't really see why you should be scared of any impending catastrophe in your relationship, I see you literally walking on eggshells which would ultimately hinder you from having a healthy & happy relationship with her cos your mind will keep racing like it is now.. Relax hun, live in the moment, relish it to the fullest & bask in God's glory.. Don't let these invasive negative thoughts spoil your mood except if you actually intend to cheat in the nearest future which would only translate to you not being totally true to her.. Breakup is another story altogether, do not feel compelled to marry her if there are differences between you two that cannot be ironed out properly.. If you love her and see a future with her in it then deal with those differences as they come, sit and have an open discussion about it, talk it out, don't just keep counting it for her in your semiconscious mind up until all that shitload comes tumbling down, the resentment starts building up low-key and then you're like "babe, I really don't think this can work" and she's like "why, what's the problem?" and it's that time all those things you bottled up starts bursting out the cork, she's like "but why didn't you tell me this earlier, I thought you had no ish with thiss or thaat" then she goes on to say you broke her heart blah blah and that she'd make your life worse than it was before lol...

In conclusion, treat your girl right and enjoy your peace of mind.. You sef dey try add your own voice to mumsy's prayers & supplication make e dy skyrocket dy go baba God ear.. If you understand the mystery of His grace & mercy, you'll know that what God cannot do doesn't exist. Shalom!

Alright.. The man wants to know the job industry/sector you fit in wrt your discipline (what you studied in school) orrr skills you've acquired overtime. In other words, he wants to know what you can do.. Here are various job industries/sectors;

• Agriculture
• Automotive
• Commerce
• Construction
• Education
• Food & Beverages
• Financial services
• Information Technology
• Healthcare
• Hospitality
• Manufacturing
• Media
• Oil & Gas
• Public Services
• Real Estate
• Transport, etc to mention but a few

Good luck in finding your niche.

iod69779:
The moment you two have a child, it gets worse because decisions are no longer based on what is good for either of you. That's when many people decide to settle even if love has died longtime ago

True, when children get involved it becomes very dicey.. Just as long as the situation doesn't get blown out of proportion like in the case of domestic violence, physical assault and the sorts, it almost seems logical to settle just for the sake of the child(ren).. Nowadays, some partners don't even entertain the thought of settling.. At the blink of an eye, they're ready to split up and move on with their life, whether they have children together or not.

After reading some comments, I can only deduce that not many people take the advice they give to others.. Imagine normalizing cheating, omooo na wa o, It sure tells alot about y'all.. If gender roles were reversed, hell would be let loose but it's fine, yeah a woman shouldn't bother her pretty head cos a man's got to cheat either way right, he can't help it, all men are built that way with their raging testosterone & high libido and women should readily embrace this and not make any fuss about it cos yeah nature.. Afterall he isn't starving her of food, sex, monetary benefits or whatever, she should be cool with it lmfaoooo.. Y'all are delusional, you can comfortably sit behind your phone typing such balderdash but can't give same advice to your sisters, daughters, nieces & female cousins.. Fgs, she's not even married to him yet.. It'll be a different story if she is.. He's even threatening her? And her soon-to-be in-laws ofcourse what would you have them say, "iyawo wa mabinu, aa ma wa nnkan se si, mabinu shogbo.. Mase ironu tori pe iwo lawa mo gege bi iyawo omo wa, ko de ni si omobinrin kankan to ma wa gba oko e"

OP, my advice is for you to use your tongue to count your teeth

iod69779:
Being in love can make you do things but don't Ignore those red flags! If you both are not compatible marriage cannot fix it. Sexual compatibility is important, emotional compatibility is important, even gender roles are important. Both of you should have discussions over these important issues before you take the bold step.

You may marry a decent woman or man but your priorities don't match. If there's no emotional support and compatibility it may lead to a toxic relationship where you both start seeing each other as problems rather than companions.

Spot on! These are important things that should be put into consideration.. The moment you turn a blind eye to red flags during dating/courtship, it may be disastrous.. Oftentimes we say "I don't like what I hate" but you see love ehn, e be like black magic.. If you haven't experienced love, genuine love for someone, sorry you no go fit understand, forget hard guy hard geh, we've all been there done that.. Anyways, if there are some attributes you do not like in your significant other and your inner self is telling you "when we both get married likdis, I'm sure he/she will change" oshey lifechanger, shorii lemme jus tell you, oyo lo wa..

Marriage isn't something you rush into anyhow, there's a saying that if you rush into something, that's the same way you will rush out of it sooo make sure you know what you're getting into, not because all your friends are getting married orrr pressure from mumsy & other relatives, las las if anything sup, na only you go face am head-on.. Do not forget to seek God's face, for those who believe in Him. Shalom!

I'd also say you should let your gf/fiancee know about this.. If she can call her mother to order, I doubt she can cos the woman will surely find a way to justify her actions.. I'm sorry but if you don't put your feet down now that you still can, trust me you won't like the outcome.. Watch how things escalate from 0 to 100 really fast

iamhistreasure:
Please mama,how was your baby's tongue tie handled.I suspect my baby might be having it.

Okay, this is actually how it went.. After delivery, I noticed my LO wasn't crying well but they told me that it was because she was tired from all that pushing in the labour room.. Later, I asked for another doctor to check it out, he claimed to not have seen anything, I went home afterwards.. It took a while before my breastmilk started flowing but whenever I breastfed her, she would cry so much probably because she was struggling to latch on, she wasn't getting enough milk and her little jaws were hurting.. She wasn't feeding well and was rather losing weight instead of adding.. I was really worried, I didn't know what to do but I noticed that when she cried, only a little part of her tongue came up, it seemed like it was stuck so I went back to the hospital and this time I requested to see the Managing Director, he checked it out with a torch and asked them to get blunt scissors, methylated spirit to sterilize it and I think some cotton wool to blot out the blood.. I'm very certain the whole process didn't take up to 5mins, I was told to breastfeed her immediately, I did that and later gave her Panda paracetamol, that was all..

So dear mama, if you suspect your LO has tongue-tie, you can go to hospital and please ask them to check it out and do the necessary process because the earlier, the better

Patrioticbreed9:
in charlse inojie's voice! "wait wait waitiiii, wetin u wan do? so if na real babe now, na like this you wan take chyke am? with this kind slippers and boxers, come sef you don check urself for mirror? u ugly die!! i swear to god, kuku ma forget woman matter cus e no go favour u

Lmaoooo I actually read this in his voice

You both are not compatible.. No long talk

Omg, he was a good friend of my dad and he spoke so well about him.. You're both angels now, may your gentle souls rest in perfect peace, Amen.

SweetCunt97:
All those things work? Cos I'm sure demons can even inhabit those items

Hahaha well I dunno about that.. Na God dey protect, oftentimes what I do is pray and sprinkle holy water

Druss:
Do not buy plenty clothes just 3 to 5 for the baby. They grow fast.

Yesss this advice is soo underrated.. Oftentimes we buy, buy, buy and even panic-buy things that aren't really necessary.. After getting the hospital list and seeing like 3 clothes for newborn, I was like just 3? I'd get some more o, still on it when the what if questions start coming up in my head, what if it's not enough, what if this doesn't fit so well, what if I get another colour of this same design.. Omooo×10 when my LO outgrew those clothes without even wearing 50% of them, I had to give most of them out.. A newborn wears onesies most of the time, about 3 to 5 is just about enough.. They grow up so fast and easily outgrow their clothes so it's very advisable to buy clothes, caps & socks a few months ahead, just don't buy sooo much of them..

Colic pain is a crazy one, I remember having to buy gripe water weekly cos I was literally going out of my mind, I couldn't understand why they were crying excessively and uncontrollably.. Good news is that it stops when your LO is 3-4months but that 3-4months go be like 3years..

Make sure you also check for tongue-tie, I took mine to the hospital as soon as I noticed my LO wasn't able to suckle properly.. Don't be sooo worried if your breastmilk doesn't flow almost immediately, I cried oo for 3 days, I felt bad too.. Every child reaches his/her milestones at their own pace and time, do not be overly worried that mama T's child started walking at so so so age and your precious LO hasn't.. Follow your maternal instincts, whenever you're in doubt, ask a paediatrician.. May God bless & protect us all, and our families, Amen.

SweetCunt97:
scapula is shoulder blade bone. Or u meant spatula?

No not spatula but scapular.. She's actually talking about a kind of sacramental usually worn around the neck

ralph14:
Please who has an idea on what Polaris Bank test will look like. What should we expect and what should we practice with?

For now, you can study Dragnet past questions in preparation for your test on 6th

Aww congratulations Spiff

Firstly, I'd say do whatever rocks y'all boats cos there are really no manuals to these things tbvh..

I like your analogy, begoniaa.. I couldn't help but laugh when I read some comments here.. This, for example "a woman thats not a virgin should not be wifed up except she is ashamed of her past and tells her man the truth of her wh0redom" lol how did you know she's not a virgin, I'm guessing your answer is cos she doesn't have an hymen.. Those are basically our societal & cultural beliefs, these are what we were/are made to believe but it's not entirely true cos not all virgins have hymen, yeah some are born without it while in some others, due to strenous activities/exercises their hymen tears open.. And cos a woman loses her virginity or has no hymen doesn't make her a wh0re..Christ! I do not know how y'all come up with thisss.. Yes, a virgin is said to have had great moral control over his/her sexual libido esp in recent times when sexual entanglements have become the order of the day, we should also know that it doesn't alwaysss have to be penetrative se.x with the opposite or same sex as the case may be plus there are sexual toys/objects used solely for pleasure, anyway that's by the way.. Haha imagine tying virginity to loyalty, nwanne putaba.. That you married her a virgin doesn't exclusively mean she won't cheat on you and vice versa, inukwam a virgin is more valuable cos she kept her pride til marriage and so she's less likely to commit paternity fraud lmaooo a partner that wants to cheat will do so whether you met him/her a virgin, be guided.. There are no manuals to these things, it's not a virginity issue at all, this is not 1900 forgossake.. You fit marry virgin wey go later wan explore, carry better shame enter your house, you fit marry virgin wey go jus dey for you and only you, you fit still marry non-virgin wey go leave you go meet her sugarboys, you fit still marry non-virgin wey go dey loyal to you, forget age bracket, it goes vice versa too, individuals differ.. Las Las just make sure you get yourself a good partner, one that knows the true meaning of love and what it entails, one who is peace-loving and one who will advise, encourage and support you every step of the way.. Shalom!

I'd also say you should start sending out job application to other organizations esp now you're temporary relieved of your job.. I'd love to see the horror on their faces when they get to know that you'll be leaving them for the better.. However don't resign just yet, let it be a case of "one leg in and the other leg out" pending when you get another job.. They'll miss you though

EmekaBlue:
Please ignore my grammatical Blunders and please note I don't feel any entitlement because i connected her to a job...I just feel upset tonight after a rethink of this incident.

I connected a lady to a job of 100k+ accommodation and some monthly benefits like recharge card for free and she got it 1st hand after i spoke to the chinese to take her because i studied in China and speak chinese...Now she insults me at work in the same office and give me bad attitude. I didn't ask her out and don't intend to but i feel a little bit sad about this. She even insulted me in front of other staffs that hold me in high esteem.

What caused this event is, i left the site we work as an engineer and came to the head office where she is employed as a secretary. I simply just told her to help me print like 10pages report since her computer is the one connected to the office printer, She told me to go do it myself, i simply told her i was busy because i had to go out quickly with one of the chinese...this girl said then when i come back, i simply told her not to sound like that... then she went ballistic and started raising her voice on me even telling me my mother is mad, i should do my worse this and that...its even the drivers that had to hold me back to lock up as a man if not she really was insulting me to my face closely, she was literally trying to get me hard to hit her...maybe for me to loose my job as she has been there over 6months now and have gotten more conversant with the bosses.

What can you say about this?!

Sorry you found yourself in that situation.. It's not you, you actually did a good thing by helping her with the job connection.. My guess is she has always been like that, as I've heard "quite a number of people will seem so meek & angelic when they want to ask for help but will literally transform into a beast or worse the next minute after they've gotten what they wanted".. If you want to test a person's character, give him/her power.. Only then will you discern those who at the onset had masks on and I'm not talking of facial/nose mask lol.. My advice is for you to avoid her even if she tries to get in your face just to rile you up, by all means ignore her.. If she behaves that way around other employees then she'll be served sooner that she'd expect, it's just a matter of time.

EmekaBlue:
Please ignore my grammatical Blunders and please note I don't feel any entitlement because i connected her to a job...I just feel upset tonight after a rethink of this incident.

I connected a lady to a job of 100k+ accommodation and some monthly benefits like recharge card for free and she got it 1st hand after i spoke to the chinese to take her because i studied in China and speak chinese...Now she insults me at work in the same office and give me bad attitude. I didn't ask her out and don't intend to but i feel a little bit sad about this. She even insulted me in front of other staffs that hold me in high esteem.

What caused this event is, i left the site we work as an engineer and came to the head office where she is employed as a secretary. I simply just told her to help me print like 10pages report since her computer is the one connected to the office printer, She told me to go do it myself, i simply told her i was busy because i had to go out quickly with one of the chinese...this girl said then when i come back, i simply told her not to sound like that... then she went ballistic and started raising her voice on me even telling me my mother is mad, i should do my worse this and that...its even the drivers that had to hold me back to lock up as a man if not she really was insulting me to my face closely, she was literally trying to get me hard to hit her...maybe for me to loose my job as she has been there over 6months now and have gotten more conversant with the bosses.

What can you say about this?!

Sorry you found yourself in that situation.. It's not you, you actually did a good thing by helping her with the job connection..

I would've added something to what Uncle93, debbydams & Ina2k said but I don't really think it's necessary..

I mean why bother when you're tired of Nigerian girls, you can decide to be "woke"(as the others have suggested) while processing jand levels.. Anyhow you wan tek do am, na to japa be the main thing & na dia my 2kobo dey

I'm so so so sorry for y'all losses.. My sincere condolences to your brother, I can only but imagine how much pain and sorrow and grief.. I do pray that God grants y'all the fortitude to bear the irreparable losses.. May the Holy Spirit comfort and strengthen your brother in these difficult & trying times and may the souls of his wife & children and the souls of all the faithful departed rest in perfect peace, Amen.

Though our paths never crossed on NL but from what I've read so far, I can however say that you were such a nice and caring soul and you will surely be missed.. Farewell Victoria! Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord and let your perpetual light shine upon her, Amen.

Richnerd69:
I'm a lover of good music, classical ones. I had a friend who used to take me on the basics of music theory , a very good pianist , but he's out of the country now. My current girlfriend is always gushing about guys that play instruments , so I decided get a new teacher last month and I'm currently learning how to play the piano again , using his personal keyboard.

So, I thought of buying a grand piano next week, it's quite expensive and the cheapest I found was about 350k in a ware house. Since I don't play on professional level yet, I was advised to get a smaller keyboard, which I will.

I have a goal to learn how to play my girlfriend's favourite songs before her birthday , and then compose a good birthday song for her.

What do you think? Do all ladies find instrumentalists attractive? If yes, what's your favourite instrument? Sincerely.

Back then, my dad always loved playing his piano, it was something I was really looking forward to every weekend.. With his back turned, he'd hum some melodious tunes while his fingers did the magic, he would pause and smile to himself whenever he felt he was getting a wind of it, he was ever so pleased with himself and his little progress even when it wasn't coming off right, he'd get his musical lessons handouts and kept practicing til it sounded just right, ohhh it was all so refreshing to watch.. How I miss you Dad, keep watching over us

Now that I think about it, I've never really had anything to do with any instrumentalist and no I don't think it's cos I don't find them attractive.. I think it has everything to do with social anxiety, I just low-key enjoy stuff and that's it.. The piano and guitar gets me in my feelings and drums gives me this influx of positive energy and gingerrr lol

nams77:
t

Why waste your time and self playing games.

Look for a skill to learn. Before you complain about no money, let me share a story of one of my boys
He Came out with an HND. No job. Saw some of this hood friends who are into carpentery...he joined them.
Later he met another set who are into window arch, screeding and POP. He joined them in going to site with them.
Long story shot, he became proficient in the job.
Left his parents, rented his own apartment, got married, got a Lil baby girl.
As of present, he is in Dubai working and building a house here.
All this didn't happen in a day. It took years filled with pains,struggle and hardship.

This was a boy that used to cause problem in the area.
He used to lock his parents and siblings inside whenever there was no money to give to him then.

See the change. You too can bro!

Sorry I quoted you in error. It was supposed to be atomicity123

Aptly said.. OP, I also suggest you learn a skill yeah.. Look inward, you may just find something that really interests you, something you'll develop passion for, something that's in demand now and will put money in your pocket, there are a whole lot of skills, who knows you might get closer to your breakthrough and reel in so much money overtime.. Don't just sit in a place brooding about setbacks, disappointments and shortcomings, it won't do you any good rather it'll only make you sad, angry and resentful.. It's not your fault, nobody is happy when things don't go as planned, don't remain down always try to push yourself up and forge ahead okayy..

As opposed to smoking, drinking and masturbating which will further cause you more damage than you can ever imagine, I will have to agree with EbukaHades10, if you can't get access to console games, you can download mobile games to help ease off the negative energy.. Please try to turn off that anger, don't let it turn you to a beast.. Alot of people have it worse, you won't know until they tell you what they're passing through.. Don't lose hope, your breakthrough is on the way

Mimee noodles advert dah year.. Blueband too.. Bank PHB was also good.. All indomie ads.. 0809ja for live, MTN extracool.. ooh the nostalgia