₦airaland Forum

Before you're named my ex, I must've broken up with you in my mind already.. When you've got all our bridges burnt down, there could never be another chance.

For reasons best known to them yeah.. Oh, you already answered the question (in your first paragraph)

OP, this story left me aghast.. I'm lost for words, gosh I can't even begin to imagine how the man would be feeling

OP, I can totally relate but this time I'm talking boys of about 9,10, 11yrs.. Osanobua, you see these pikins dem, aswear dem wan make me kolo finish, na to comot cloth enter street remain..

What's going on with this generation Z kids? If you try to talk to them, you automatically become a topic for gisting among their friends and they make it seem like you're crazy.. You wan talk abi, you go talk tire.. Caution orrr even discipline them nko, shior dem don grow thick skin, odeshi na you go tire.. Try to have a conversation with them, if you don't give in to whatever they say, na wahala, they'll either counter what you're saying or they keep you quiet like mumu(shebi when they talk finish, I'll still do what I want to do), it's theirs or no other and if it doesn't pan out well later, they'll endure it inside inside their metallic heart

I dey tell dem sey my own dey be like generator oo, that I better pass my neighbor own.. E no dey quick start but when e start, e dey hard to quench.. If I no give you as e dey hot, you no go know wetin jam you lmaoooo but seriously I may turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to some things, just pray the day your cup overflows doesn't draw near.

Haha ma'am descarado really got me in stitches with "kind ko, smart ni"

Be back soon

Hmmm let's see

If you earn 110k monthly(maybe sometimes not paid as at when due, maybe 5-10days into the new month I dunno, depends on where you work)

60k per term for a child, you have two so 120k
A term = 3/4months
3 terms make an academic session/year;
In a session you pay 360k for both of them excluding textbooks & exercise books which are paid once i.e in the first term
Now, if you pay roughly 150k for 1st term which includes their textbooks, that's 30k worth of books for both of them;
Add 30k to 360k, you spend 390k every academic year

You earn 1.3M gross;
For every 330k, 120k goes to kid's sch fees
You have roughly 210k split into 70k monthly; yes I calculated it per 3months cos the last month is usually just about few weeks in which is basically revision/exam week aaand you must've completed payment before then else your wards won't be allowed to write their exams..
Every academic session/year runs from September - July.. not to talk generally about how crazy things get in Dec, Jan, Feb up until March

That's quite alot considering your salary.. I dunno how you cope with rent, feeding, electricity & utility bills, plus even unplanned expenses.. I'll suggest you do your due diligence on schools within your area/location, I'm sure you would get one with lesser fees(tuition of atleast 20k for primary sch pupils, with lesson fee, maybe ptf, total ≤30k per term for a child). I dunno what classes your kids are in but I'm guessing they're not up to 10, maybe 3-8yr olds.. Books are pretty expensive, you'll pay for new school uniforms, sports wear and all for a start too.. I do hope you get it all figured out soon and may God grant your partner a good job so you both can pull funds together to settle bills.

FreeSpirited:
Awww...sowie for your horrible Kulikuli experience. Will you buy next time you see it?

Thank you o jere.. I no buy oo lmaoooo

If for anything, l'll ask to taste before buying sha

About 2/3yrs ago, I was heading home one cool evening like that when I saw wan aboki selling kulikuli.. E jus enter my eye ehn, I was already imagining how I'll stuff my face with it that night while watching a movie.. I approached the aboki and made known of my intentions to buy, E say na 50 50naira, okayy I hope sey e sweet oo, e say yes very very, you sure??, e say walahi you go like am, alright gimme like 200naira own.. I should've asked to taste but my mind don already first me reach house.. Omooo I don finally reach house, freshen up, time to watch movie, I brought out my dear kulikuli for me to use to "wangle" my mouth.. It tasted all so different from the one I had in Secondary School, very bland save for the pepper that burned my throat, I wan die.. I spat it out and kept chipping off the remaining 3 hoping, just hoping that they were not all like the 1st.. who was I kidding? They were all the same, e painn me but na there e end.

Haha LMAO we been knew

I had to be sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.. Ah ahn bros shey you jus dey wake up ni, dis na March o.. New Year parole lati igba wo? O ga oo

Modified: Smh you definitely need help. I'll offer a rosary.

I may not truly understand how you feel but what I do know is that you're deeply hurt.. I'm sorry you found yourself in that situation.. Your feelings are valid, nobody has any right to tell you how to feel cos only you wear the shoe, you know where & how hard it pinches..

That pain, I have experienced it, many others have.. It's how you deal with it that truly matters cos be it as it may, even if you hate him for as long as you want, it doesn't really do you any good rather it somewhat holds you back, you're only giving him a chance to still have control over your emotions despite you two not being together.. You need to heal my dear, you need to move on.. You need to know your worth and not let people like him walk on your mind with their dirty feet, you shouldn't let them do that to you.. You didn't see that he wasn't the right person for you, it's fine, stop beating yourself up over it, you can't get past this if you do not give yourself a chance to heal..

You've got your whole life ahead of you babygirl, don't lose focus please, work, keep the grind up & going, secure the bag, have fun with friends & family, go see a movie, read(if you love reading), listen to music, dance(release bad energy, let it stay farrrrr away), sing, play games(if it makes you feel better), just do anything & everything that makes you happy & sane.. Treat yourself to nice stuff ever so often, you deserve it and more.. Don't go jumping into another relationship so fast(e get why), give yourself time to heal okayy.. Good yeah, I assure you that's the best thing you can do for yourself now.

I do not think you overreacted in any way per se.. However, I think she's not totally true to you.. She told you that she left the other guy just to be with you, she just wanted you to feel that there are better chances with you.. The truth is, she's still weighing her options with the other guy hence she's always bringing up topics about him.. She wants to be 100% sure, she made a better choice of being with you.. There will always be a comparison, if you don't meet up with what the other guy is doing/has done/has promised to do, she may have to rethink her stand with you afterall.. I cannot say for sure that she loves you but maybe, just maybe she has some feelings for you, you could wait it out orrr strike it out.. Either way, I don't like having someone make me feel this way like I'm in a competition when no be say na bazaar auction sales lmaoooo.. I meann, c'mon if I'm not treating you right, why don't you just tell me straightup and not tell me that "see ehn, I be spec oo, there are other people also dying to have me, so shey normal or you lose me" , it's so vague.. Tell me what exactly is the issue or what's bothering you then we can talk about it like adults and know what to do about it.. Nobody wey no be spec abeg

I don't think so but even if it did happen in the past I can't remember, maybe twice

E don happen to mumsy sha, she just dey rush go somewhere laaro kutukutu.. Omoo the kain holdup wey dey always dey for that Egbeda-Iyana-Ipaja road no be here at all, she no even see when the conductor jump branch anoda place.. She con dey ask oga driver pe wey im conductor na, oga driver say im no know boya im go look for change.. "Ehen tori pe mo fun won ni 500 naira, mi o ti gba change mi", E tell mumsy "no worry, im go soon show".. She con sight the conductor for wan corner dey call am "conductor wa fun mi ni change mi nau, mo ti n bole", oga driver say "madam no worry, e go still give you, e never get change".. remain 5mins "oya oo my change o" conductor still never come back, next thing oga driver: "oya everybody come down come down come down, we don reach last bustop o".. Aje dem plan that thing.. Mumsy don enter another bus, motor don move and conductor don dey ask "ehen money for front?" Na dah time she say she remember sey laslas upon all the plenty talk, dem no still give her change.. Thank God no be her last card be dat.

Not all, perhaps some of them do.. Even less likely in recent times

OP, I see that you're leaning on the presumed love/dating aspect i.e a relationship between two persons(or more, for people that double date, triple date whatever lol) perhaps "testing" one another to know if they can/will at some point, consider getting married(to one of them).. Aii, let's say a lady gets pregnant, she then decides to tell her man orrr her parents I dunno whichever.. Now, if she tells the man, he may/may not take it very well in the sense that at some point he may have considered her his soulmate orrr he never had intentions of settling down with her in the long run but was just having casual s.ex with her pending when he meets the lohl(love of his life).. Okay, the part where she's got to tell her parents before they find out on their own(dem no dey hide belle na except sey you don get plans), it won't be sooo crazy if her man is okay with it & intends to marry her, her parents will definitely ask to meet with him & discuss about his plans. Wahala go wear koi koi, when bobo says he's no longer interested infact denies responsibility of the pregnancy.. She con go tell maale & paale wetin dey sup, God punish devil dem con talk sey alaye must marry her oo orrr im go collect for inside guardroom.. Laslas bobo gats choose wan sha; perhaps a third option.. Even better, babydaddy sef issa goal

Haha lmfaooo but seriously it depends solely on the individual.. A man can(of his own accord; without any form of coercion) decide to marry his pregnant partner just to be a "proper father" for his unborn child(on basis of love or not), after he must've evaluated & re-evaluated so many things as crackhaus rightly said.. Ofcourse, he may also decide to work towards being not just an awesome father but also a fantastic husband.

Only about 30-40% of people(women inclusive) will actually consider it now.. People just want to enjoy random or casual s.ex, "not everybody" wants to get married.

He was the strongest man I knew.. Losing him was the biggest teardown of my entire life.. That vacuum you left in my heart seems to only get bigger and bigger.. Onye'm, please keep watching over us.

Alfryd:
Is not working

Lol calm down, lemme help you out.. At this point, I suppose you must've gone past the very first stage which is resetting your password.. You should login with your new password and ofcourse your email.. On your dashboard(top left corner), you'll be instructed to update your details.. You will then input your BVN, email used for registration, phone number, date of birth and state of Origin, all these for your BVN validation.. When it finally goes through, you will be able to update your details and upload your documents.. You can also update your passport photograph, if you wish.. Ensure that your files are not more than 200kb, you should compress them if they are else it won't go through.. After submitting successfully, you will be prompted to take the test and there you'll find your NASIMS ID (NPWR/2020/*********), you should screenshot it.. When you attempt to take the test, you will be instructed to input your username which is your NASIMS ID and ofcourse your password..

If at any stage, you encounter "some errors occured" or anything of that sort.. If you're 100% sure that you did all that was required of you, then do not relent.. Keep clicking/pressing that button, keep trying, it will eventually go through.. If it doesn't on Chrome browser, download or tell someone to help transfer Firefox to your device.. Keep trying on both of them till it finally goes through.. Good luck!

Profound input, Kettlecorn.. OP, he has said it all.. Things ain't really encouraging down here but I believe you & yours will do just fine.

Bad o, since March.. In January & February, we had constant power supply(8-16hrs daily, not uninterrupted though)

Now, we can't confidently boast of 1hr uninterrupted power supply talk more of daily.. Confi wetin I say if you no use am dah moment wey you see am, omoo you fii no see am till the next day.. Ask me wetin I go fit use dah kain light do, okwa "low current" o.. Some days we don't even see "flash" even if na to test bulb lol

haybhi1:
No, actually...
I'll say just break all ribs from the second to the sixth on the left side to the lateral side of the said man. You may remove the sternal's body too, for easy access.
If you're doing this from the posterior, just cut betweenT5 and T10 ribs.

Then proceed to cut the heart from the aortic arches and the suspensory bodies. Dip your right hand through into the middle mediastinum to remove heart with its pericardium covering.

The man would be left speechless that way, with ease.

Haha you smart! You know it

I absolutely agree with you, Richy4.. OP, he has said it all..

However, I can't help but chuckle after reading his last paragraph.. I remember when I stayed briefly in a rural setting somewhere in Western Nigeria, I had a friend who taught English Language in a nearby "private" school.. She would always come back tired and frustrated cos in her words "the students weren't cooperating worse still they didn't even want to".. They just kept conversing amongst themselves in their local dialect as well as return their homeworks either undone or poorly written.. They couldn't be as much as bothered, oh how I pitied her..

I digressed.. Now, I'd tell you why they didn't see reason to cooperate with their English teacher.. It seemed useless to them cos they'd only get to "speak" that English in school as their parents would turn a deaf ear or find it offensive when they respond in English, until they switch back to their dialect with apology ofcourse lol.. And nope, it doesn't only happen there, infact this same thing goes on in most of our various indigenous communities.

OP, I know this doesn't in any way answer your question(in the title of your thread) but this was what came to my mind while reading Richy4's last paragraph haha last sentence to be precise.

Hmmm while I'll agree that most people really do not know how to hold proper conversations and the few that can, seem pretty extinct but I assure you, they're everywhere maybe not in hundreds or thousands.. I'm quite positive that in due time other factors may come out to play as well in terms of preferences, as Kondomatic stated, everybody sure do have preferences and sometimes things don't work out the way we envisioned it to be.. Why am I saying this? I know you already stated the kind of women you're very much attracted to and would want to be in relationship with(correct me if I'm wrong), there are other qualities you'd like to find in your significant other right.. Okayy, what if she doesn't tick any of the other boxes but she ticks this one in particular, would it still stand? That's something to ponder on yeah.. How about if she ticks some but not all, is that okay? If yes, then good.. Alot of people can't effectively decide which attributes will be instrumental to a genuinely happy & healthy relationship and to place them higher wrt their preferences, I really hope you do..

Alright, I'll drop my pen here.. Just keep an open mind for a start, get that queen and go with the flow.. Good luck!

What a vile and bitter soul you have as a lifetime companion.. Who is she to tell you to stop offering financial assistance to your mother, her supposed mother-in-law? Why on earth would she want you to send money to your mum through her? So she can exercise power as she would love to, she would then decide whether or not your mother really needs the money and if she's to divide the money into a billion or million parts before sending.. Someone that tells you when and when not to help take care of your mum, I bet she doesn't do that when her mum or family is involved.. I'd be wary of her if I were you, that woman is capable of anything and can go to any length to achieve her aim.

Nna ehh, small matter una don drag baba God enter am, na wa una o..

This is March and it's usually very hot as dry season lasts from November to March.. It's usually at its peak in March hence the unbearable heat.. I have reasons to believe that there's climate change with the 3days Harmattan we experienced in February but this one is normal..

March too dey hot kaiii! Even nepa no con dy give pesin light, dem dy also talk sey the hot weather dey affect power distribution, everything jus dy overheat anyhow make e for no blow.. If rain con fall, we go still wait make wire dry, wahala be like bicycle for this Nigeria aswear.

OP, it will do you sooo much good if you can get an accommodation within a relatively close proximity to Surulere where you work, I can't now begin to enumerate how much prolonged your lifespan will be, omooo for inside this Lagos? it can never be overemphasized o..

Check around those places that have been suggested to you by other nairalanders (provided it's not sooo far from where you work & even if it is, most importantly you can deal with it logically), do your due diligence.. Also as BSdetector and Ephemmm suggested, if you find one or two guy(s) that wouldn't mind splitting the rent with you, even better.. You can work your way around this, I assure you.. The keyword is just don't lose focus!

I like to think that amazing things happen for my own good.. It doesn't dispute the fact that some people "make things happen" but then God is supreme and I believe that there's nothing that can happen without his knowledge..

As such I don't really see why you should be scared of any impending catastrophe in your relationship, I see you literally walking on eggshells which would ultimately hinder you from having a healthy & happy relationship with her cos your mind will keep racing like it is now.. Relax hun, live in the moment, relish it to the fullest & bask in God's glory.. Don't let these invasive negative thoughts spoil your mood except if you actually intend to cheat in the nearest future which would only translate to you not being totally true to her.. Breakup is another story altogether, do not feel compelled to marry her if there are differences between you two that cannot be ironed out properly.. If you love her and see a future with her in it then deal with those differences as they come, sit and have an open discussion about it, talk it out, don't just keep counting it for her in your semiconscious mind up until all that shitload comes tumbling down, the resentment starts building up low-key and then you're like "babe, I really don't think this can work" and she's like "why, what's the problem?" and it's that time all those things you bottled up starts bursting out the cork, she's like "but why didn't you tell me this earlier, I thought you had no ish with thiss or thaat" then she goes on to say you broke her heart blah blah and that she'd make your life worse than it was before lol...

In conclusion, treat your girl right and enjoy your peace of mind.. You sef dey try add your own voice to mumsy's prayers & supplication make e dy skyrocket dy go baba God ear.. If you understand the mystery of His grace & mercy, you'll know that what God cannot do doesn't exist. Shalom!

Alright.. The man wants to know the job industry/sector you fit in wrt your discipline (what you studied in school) orrr skills you've acquired overtime. In other words, he wants to know what you can do.. Here are various job industries/sectors;

• Agriculture
• Automotive
• Commerce
• Construction
• Education
• Food & Beverages
• Financial services
• Information Technology
• Healthcare
• Hospitality
• Manufacturing
• Media
• Oil & Gas
• Public Services
• Real Estate
• Transport, etc to mention but a few

Good luck in finding your niche.

iod69779:
The moment you two have a child, it gets worse because decisions are no longer based on what is good for either of you. That's when many people decide to settle even if love has died longtime ago

True, when children get involved it becomes very dicey.. Just as long as the situation doesn't get blown out of proportion like in the case of domestic violence, physical assault and the sorts, it almost seems logical to settle just for the sake of the child(ren).. Nowadays, some partners don't even entertain the thought of settling.. At the blink of an eye, they're ready to split up and move on with their life, whether they have children together or not.

After reading some comments, I can only deduce that not many people take the advice they give to others.. Imagine normalizing cheating, omooo na wa o, It sure tells alot about y'all.. If gender roles were reversed, hell would be let loose but it's fine, yeah a woman shouldn't bother her pretty head cos a man's got to cheat either way right, he can't help it, all men are built that way with their raging testosterone & high libido and women should readily embrace this and not make any fuss about it cos yeah nature.. Afterall he isn't starving her of food, sex, monetary benefits or whatever, she should be cool with it lmfaoooo.. Y'all are delusional, you can comfortably sit behind your phone typing such balderdash but can't give same advice to your sisters, daughters, nieces & female cousins.. Fgs, she's not even married to him yet.. It'll be a different story if she is.. He's even threatening her? And her soon-to-be in-laws ofcourse what would you have them say, "iyawo wa mabinu, aa ma wa nnkan se si, mabinu shogbo.. Mase ironu tori pe iwo lawa mo gege bi iyawo omo wa, ko de ni si omobinrin kankan to ma wa gba oko e"

OP, my advice is for you to use your tongue to count your teeth

iod69779:
Being in love can make you do things but don't Ignore those red flags! If you both are not compatible marriage cannot fix it. Sexual compatibility is important, emotional compatibility is important, even gender roles are important. Both of you should have discussions over these important issues before you take the bold step.

You may marry a decent woman or man but your priorities don't match. If there's no emotional support and compatibility it may lead to a toxic relationship where you both start seeing each other as problems rather than companions.

Spot on! These are important things that should be put into consideration.. The moment you turn a blind eye to red flags during dating/courtship, it may be disastrous.. Oftentimes we say "I don't like what I hate" but you see love ehn, e be like black magic.. If you haven't experienced love, genuine love for someone, sorry you no go fit understand, forget hard guy hard geh, we've all been there done that.. Anyways, if there are some attributes you do not like in your significant other and your inner self is telling you "when we both get married likdis, I'm sure he/she will change" oshey lifechanger, shorii lemme jus tell you, oyo lo wa..

Marriage isn't something you rush into anyhow, there's a saying that if you rush into something, that's the same way you will rush out of it sooo make sure you know what you're getting into, not because all your friends are getting married orrr pressure from mumsy & other relatives, las las if anything sup, na only you go face am head-on.. Do not forget to seek God's face, for those who believe in Him. Shalom!

I'd also say you should let your gf/fiancee know about this.. If she can call her mother to order, I doubt she can cos the woman will surely find a way to justify her actions.. I'm sorry but if you don't put your feet down now that you still can, trust me you won't like the outcome.. Watch how things escalate from 0 to 100 really fast