₦airaland Forum

GloriousGbola:
Does this society provide a proper framework for children?

If you turn on any Nigerian TV station will you see any content for children?
Is there any musical artiste that sings songs for children?
Outside of.school books are there any local book series for kids?
Are there any movies made for children?

So already from the beginning you have a society where children have no local media. Everything is media for adults.

Go to eateries what are they playing on their TVs? Channel o booty videos

Go to your average kids party what are they playing? Jolof wind your waist music.

Children every where are saying you are doing well.

There are no local laws or legislation in place to ensure family friendly media or Internet is available.

No one in leadership positions cares about children

Open your dstv. There is PBS, cbeebies, da vinci kids. These are public channels in their home countries. Channels made specifically for children's education, upbringing and values.

Every one is abusing the parents, but everyday on this platform I interact with several youths who have also been failed by society and their parents.

Anyone asking to see the video is a product of this society
Anyone who casually makes excuses for rape is a product of this society
Anyone who casually defends any kind of fraud is a product or this society.

The children who cannot dance Skelewu or recite it are the ones considered strange. The children who are blank when told 'you are doing well' are the nerds.

So yes society is also part of the problem

Can you name a society where such can never ever occur? Sounds like we are just making sh*t up at this point! You left the root and decided to focus on the leaves, ko jor!

hoctre20:
This is a foolish statement from you. The song they hear no be for the society, the government policy no for the society and made by the society,the tv shows is it not for the society and made by the Society and this ur foolish opinion is not made by the society❓. And if I may ask who is/are the society❓

Don't be unfortunate! We have people that have grown up in society ravished by wars, famine, gangsters, drugs etc but they still made it out and made something of their lives. I grew up in Mushin, olosho house to the right, weed factory to the left and touts everywhere. Never smoked, never carried oloshos and excelled at school. I repeat it is not the job of society to raise your kids, the society is a support system but it is never ever the primary. If you doubt me, name a country that you consider a morally and just society and I'll show you their shortcomings. UNA GO JUST DEY TYPE RUBBISH ONLINE, DEY FORM WOKE!

obailala:
Parents alone cannot raise kids... Kids will always be exposed to the society; no matter how excellently perfect parents and teachers are in shielding children from society, children will inevitably be exposed to society. E Even if parents and teachers monitor children 99.9% of the time (which is impractical anyway), that 0.1% of the time the child is exposed to society can still destroy the child.

So yeah in this case, society failed the children too.

Will you come back to reality or keep fantasizing? Please can you name a society where such is guaranteed never ever to occur? Society this society that, you might as well blame Adam and eve since that's where man started its sinful ways.

MrBrownJay1:
society has a part to play in this decadence....because sex is thrown in the face of these kids all day long. kids easily pick up on this. sex in he movies, sex in the news, sex in the media, sex in church, sex in mosque, sex on social media, sex at home, sex sex sex sex... and you want these kids to not be influenced by that?!

today a kid of 10yr old is already in contact with sexual material all around them. their surrounding/upbringing will dictate how that child react to such influx of sexual material. some kids can easily dismiss it and live a normal life, while others are influenced/intrigued by it... thus why you have a 10yr old today acting like a p0rnstar, as if the same as playing with dolls (aka what she should be doing at her age)!

Can you name a society where such is guaranteed never to occur? Can you name a society where there can never be any form of rape, violence or indecency? What you are thinking of is a fallacy!

Kobojunkie:
1. According to verywellmind.com


2. People get upset with each other in relationships regularly. So long as you are in relationship with another individual, it is expected that your buttons will be pushed every so often. We are each also endowed with an internal alarm system that alerts us to when the conditions even within a relationship become highly stressful, and usually as a result of actions perpetrated by the one we are in relationship with. In such cases, if one is still uncertain whether the relationship has become toxic at that point, it is advised that one withdraw for a bit and seek counseling.

Atoxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time

So basically the very institution of marriage is TOXIC! Since we all know 99.9% of all marriages will have an argument or misunderstanding at least once in 3 months and the crazy ones will have one every other day. Furthermore, if these so called counselors were truly effective why does 25% of those who seek their help end up in worse situations and about 38% end up divorced in 4 years or less? Don't even get me started on the financial burden, this is why people prefer to go to their pastors or alfas

Finally, how does Mama Nkechi and her husband living in a one room home with 3 children afford to see a marriage counselor? What of Iya Ibeji and her vulcanizer husband? I've always had this problem with theoretical analysis for relationships, it sounds so wonderful on paper but when it comes to implementation it falls flat because the solution reads from a script rather than customizing each solutuion based on the presented circumstances, reminds me of university days learning about Basic and C programming without touching a computer......

MrBrownJay1:
PARENTS failed that child!
SCHOOL failed that child!
SOCIETY failed that child!

It's not the job of society to raise your child!

Kobojunkie:
1. Again, those who think their quality of life worth less than their investments in what turned out a toxic relationship remain in it with the hope that the situation will magically change for the better and this an illogical reasons.

2. Again, once an environment becomes toxic, the best is always to leave such an environment. If you and your spouse decide afterwards to seek professional counseling or ways to resolve issues after your heated argument, that's OK too. But in every case, once things turn toxic, exit to avoid "had I knowns".

But you haven't defined toxic......What exactly is toxic? Is it an heated argument or an insult? Is it physical or does it start with the woman putting too much salt in food because the husband vexed her? How about the man working too much and forgetting anniversary? I'm just trying to understand what the metrics are for toxicity or do we just make it up as we go along?

As a man, I get upset at least 2 to 3 times a week at my wife most times na just small stuff like high spending or letting our boy go out and play without any supervision. Then there are more serious stuff like when she quit her job out of the blue because she wanted to pursue her passion of social media influencer . Can you explain to me which of these scenarios should I consider toxic and JAAPA? Counseling and pep talks are only useful if everyone knows the rules and guidelines, we can't just be making stuff up now can we

OlawaleBammie:
Lol, well, u might be tinking am saying rubbish but my woman sef knows me, even her father knows me well, her father is even afraid to call me.

I am a cool guy, not heavily built wen it comes to body but wen i get angry i always want tins to spoil so that there would be mark, a reference mark for reference purposes.
I have bn praying to God to quench that spirit from me sha, but i hate nonsense.

I cant torture my woman no matter what so also i dont expect u to torture me,

And d moment u start developing some ment or malaria den i will av to administer u the antidote

That pikin wey u talk na simple tin, if he ask me i wil tell her her mother is in correctional center to reset her factory settings (e get how u go talk am) laslas 3 to 6month she go graduate and d pikin no go know anything sef, and if hin no na hin wahala.




Tho i am not praying for these ooh and it will never be my portion but as i said, i dont condone nonsense all in the name of... Na woman she be(a no like to dey hear that nonsense and manipulative line)


Well sha, my woman knows me sha and i thank God say she no dey misbehave, so i love my woman.

HA........OMO TIMES 1 BILLION......TUALE BABA

Kobojunkie:
So, you think a woman has no investments to consider when walking away from an abusive situation?

All you listed are nothing but meaningless excuses used by both genders to remain in what is a toxic relationship. So you think those who made it out didn't have those very same excuses to consider?

Look, regardless of how much you have voluntarily spent on a union, if you think your life and health worthless, you will continue to remain in that environment until you begin to believe you have more value than all that as an individual. Worthlessness has to do with depression that can typically result from being jn such a toxic situation.

You are putting words in my mouth, of course women have invested in their relationship/marriage but we all know majority of men have invested MUCH MORE! This is not debatable, especially in modern times where our 9ja women are more conscious about the financial status of the person they date. Furthermore my points were not stated as an excuse but as a way to understand why men hardly ever leave despite the emotional and at times physical abuse. What you call worthlessness/ depression factors, most see it as maritial kinks and workable issue. If everyone got up and left at the slightest sign of toxicity then nobody should bother with marriage....lol.

Forget the el-Doraldo and the Telemundo rubbish seen on TV, real marriages involves ups and downs. Toxic this toxic that, abegi, there are levels to this sh*t. You can't tell me a heated argument with shouting/insults carries the same weight as a slap on the face or being hit with a frying pan. You also can't tell me a woman that caught her husband cheating and landed him a hot slap is the same level of toxicity as a beast of a woman that flogs her husband with belt constantly for being a weak man. REMEMBER THIS DISCUSSION IS NOT ABOUT RIGHT OR WRONG! We are simply comparing notes and trying to understand the different dynamics that comes into play when people have issues in their relationship/marriage.

Kobojunkie:
What you described is no different from that observed of even in abusive relationships. He has to decide, hopefully before too late, to exit the toxic relationship. No one can do that for him.

As for having the mother/father of your kids spend the night in jail, separation is typically recommended to help avoid the making of such decisions..

I know he has to decide but the decision itself is the hard part. Y'all love to shout toxic this toxic that but words are often cheap, when it comes to walking the walk suddenly things become cloudy and you'll find that it ain't as straightforward as it seems on paper! Y'all shout walk away but rarely offer solutions for what happens after, for the women it is easier to recognize and say enough is enough, for the man especially our Igbo brothers, when he thinks of the bride price and the money, time and energy invested, my nigga ain't going nowhere unless he believes there's no other choice. Give men credit, we deal with a lot of sh*t that we can't say publicly, to be a man is a blessing and a curse

OlawaleBammie:
i will put a curse on that police straight.....

See, explaining is wat i like pass, i will explain to everybody that cares to listen, and if u dont care den fvck off

If u abuse me a go dump u den sue u, wetin concern me weda u b woman of toddler, since i cant touch u den u re gone in my life, a no want stress

All that one na film trick, when push comes to shove, unless you've truly developed hatred for the woman and her family, you no go fit follow through. Even if anger allowed you to let her spend the night for jail, you go quickly settle the matter before it reach court.....When pikin ask where's mommy? You fit talk say you put am for cell?

Kobojunkie:
The same way the woman explains it to her in-laws. Your kids learn from you in that that violence is unacceptable no matter your ego.

Those police will be the same ones to tackle you to the ground and arrest you if you had been the violent person so why do you care what they think...the law is the law.

Easier said than done, even if the man get balls to allow her spend the night in jail, by the time it gets to court, the man no fit follow through....There's a level of hatred that you have to reach before a man let things get that far. I've seen man wey dem hit for head with pot because of argument and he had to get stitches, after all the howling, the anger, the madness, omo my guy don reconcile with him wife o . I was one of the person shouting ARREST HER, LEAVE HER, DIVORCE HER......In the end, my guy later did tun mi gbe(wedding vow renewal)....This life ehn

Kobojunkie:
Physical assault, irrespective of the perpetrators gender, is a crime punishable with jail term..

Jail? It's easy when it is the woman that does the reporting but as a man, how do you explain to the in-laws? How do you explain to friends? How do you explain it to the kids? I had your mama locked up because she hit me..........Even the police wey go arrest her go dey look the man somehow like oga e no reach dis level na

Trust Nigerians, when it comes to religion they don't take bullsh*t but when it comes to human rights, dem dey turn deaf and dumb.......Kolomental!

Data in transit can be encrypted, so can data at rest but the problem you have is not encryption(logical access) but that of confidentiality(physical access). Your private whatsapp chats can only be decrypted using your own keys, this simply means your device, password etc., if your password or device becomes compromised either via your own carelessness or ignorance then encryption is basically useless.

Like others have said, you've been hacked! Your solution is simple, know the devices you've used to check your email and whatsapp, reset all those devices back to factory settings making sure everything is wiped clean. Change your password including that of all your emails, enable 2 step authentication for your emails and whatsapp and never allow anyone access to install apps on your devices again.

AfroKnight:
Lol. You are saying a minor cannot rape another minor? Wonderful

Wonderful you can't read

AfroKnight:
So according to you, she cannot be in the wrong cos they are both minors? If a 14 year old boy slept with your 12 year old daughter would you hold the same convictions?

A predator is a predator. The fact that both are minors doesn’t change the fact that she preyed on those boys. If the genders were swapped you wouldn’t be saying this. Also it might interest you that the Lagos Police command is treating this as rape perpetrated against the girl, even with evidence to the contrary.

Yes I would still hold the same conviction because it is not about how I feel but the law. Unless you can prove that it is rape and not consensual then it is minor against minor. Lagos govt can say whatever when it gets to court and the evidence laid out before the judge, it becomes a different ball game.

AfroKnight:
The mother is 90% at fault.

I don’t just want to say 100%. We all saw how Tonto Dike was proud of her son spanking her àss. She even posted it proudly for the internet to see. And föolish babymamas and irresponsible mothers were attacking those who criticised the nonsense.

Well, here is the result of such abysmal parenting. This girl is used to getting her way. She is the one corrupting her classmates.

The mother was even looking for an angle to spin it as rape.

That irresponsible mother should be punished for this. I wish the boy’s parents had petitioned the police to arrest the girl for molesting their son. Cos that’s what it really is. That girl took advantage of the naivety of the boy as she is the older one.

You're out of line! First of all when it comes sex, minors are minors it does not matter who is older. Next, the circumstances surrounding the act shows that this is a common occurrence at the school. Who made the video? Where other people there? Minors?

Finally, you're quick to blame the mother but what type of school is it? Is it a boarding school, private or what? Where do the kids spend more time? At the school or at home? The reason the school gets the blame is simple, it is a private establishment in which parents entrust their kids, if the facility was inacapable of ensuring their safety from violence, sexual obscenity and so on, they should face serious consequences. Furthermore, if only you knew what goes on in private/boarding schools you would know that it is only the grace of God that some of those kids remain physically and emotionally stable. Parents can be reverend father and sister Mary yet the kids still turn out to be Lucifer incarnate.....How many ordinary schools allow field trips to Dubai?

Arysexy:
Oga why is Osun, Ondo, Ekiti, OYO and Ogun not using same Lagos script? Why are those states not having other tribes like Lagos and Abuja. Since you know how to advise SE.

Among your SW region. Which of them have popular markets visited by other tribes like Nnewi for spare parts, Onitsha and Aba for Genera merchandise?

You have no point, tribalism is you problem. Leave your enclave and travel.

My friend said spare part market , how many Yorubas and Hausas owns shops over there? Funny! You obviously haven't been to Abeokuta or Ibadan. Ogun is definitely following the Lagos blueprint in terms of inviting Igbos and Hausas into not only their political decision making system but their traditional affairs as well. Oyo is also well known for its integration especially Ibadan, ever heard of the Balogun Ndigbo of Ibadanland? I can name over 5 large businesses owned by Igbos in Oyo and Ogun state, how many SE states can boast the same? Now ponder what I've written and drop your EGO, the truth shall set you free!

Arysexy:
Every day Lagos, Lagos. Outside Lagos, which other SW state is more developed than SE?

I have toured the whole SW states due to nature of my work. No SW state outside Lagos is more developed than SE counterpart. FACT

Lagos was former capital built by all Nigerians, stop using Lagos as example cos it's development did not come from yolobas. Same way Abuja is not being developed now by Northerners but Nigerians

Did you actually read what I wrote or it was too much for you? So you're saying Lagos was built by numerous tribes correct? If so kindly go back and read what I wrote especially the final part, what's the problem again? Na you dey argue with yourself Mr. Tourist

LZAA:
You afonjas are truly delusional
I always notice that after lagos(a former national capital) and ogun(proximity to lagos) you lot don't call any other state
Lagos was built by gowon with South South money
Please google Nigeria cement armada to understand
Nonsense

Your type always read but can't comprehend, seek wisdom! Go back and read what I wrote and you'll see we are saying the same thing, Lagos was built not by one tribe but by numerous, other states should emulate it......Don't think there's anything bad in saying that but your hatred and ignorance towards afonjas was more important to you than comprehension!

For every nonsense there's a bit of sense. Igbos should develop their lands so that people from other parts of the country will see it as a place to thrive and grow. Nothing stopping a place like Imo, Enugu or Anambra from taking the blueprint of Lagos and not only implement it but improve upon it. Lagos is Lagos today because you can find almost every tribe contributing to its success or failure.

Vinnie2000:
You and Pocohantas re arguing with sentiments or gender bias! Honestly, a 15yr old IS NOT a kid! @dat age, a girl is supposed to have learnt how to say NO to a guy/man and also have SENSE. One Tailor guy sew a cloth for a girl and when she came to collect it one nite when he had closed, he said she should then come pick it@his house! D girl gave him a big No! So u get it, right? Pls u guys should cut d pretence!

This isn't about sense or maturity, it is about the LAW! If kid behaves foolishly must an adult behave the same way? A 15 year old might not be a kid in your eyes but the law considers them underage hence you do anyhow, you go see anyhow!

Magnoliaa:
Answer me. When you guys call ladies you don't know baby and darling, do you mean it? Does it mean you are acquainted with us?

Oh. Perhaps you know more about the psyche of rapists. You should tell us more. What makes you think a rapist is always an unthinking, mindless, violent person? You don't literally see creepy men acting out their sexual fantasies by thinking they are some lovers to their victims?

Did you read the part where she said she told him she has AIDS? Very few women have negotiated their ways out of a potential sexual assault, FYI. But yeah, it does happen. Tell the rapist to chill, do this or that, let me get ready, and they take advantage of the window of opportunity.

But humor me, on the other hand, are you telling us that it is okay for a man to forcefully have his way with a woman he's spent on? It's what you'll do?

You said the case is with the police or they are aware? What does that prove? What is your basis for not believing her other than conjectures in your head? You said it is a CLEAR CASE of. So you've even actually judged with no proof.

Why do you bother entertaining that nonentity? It is obvious he's not alright upstairs!

Kobojunkie:
No, I meant in the case that the marriage was undocumented, then OP will be it.

I am on OP's team here as I don't want His grandparent's wealth instead going to paying for his father's lavish lifestyle.

Possibly, as long as he is the only child.

Una think say una craze advance for this kontri?

Free my nigga jaare, he was just trying to be the Albert Einstein of p.orn, it's only crazy if it doesn't work

Kobojunkie:
1. So long as he is able to show the property belonged to her prior to her demise and that he is her progeny, isn't that all that matters?,

2. Which age is too late to start bearing sons? It is possible his father already has another family somewhere else, and that might be part reason why the Op is trying to fight against having what ought to be his distributed by his father.

It doesn't work that way, he would need to show that she specifically willed it to him, if not then whatever property the mom owned belongs the dad by virtue of marriage. if there are no documentation to prove she willed it to her offsprings then most court will side with the living spouse.

nencounter10:
So, if you just go with you relatives to the woman's house and pay dowry and do a marriage ceremony, then take the woman to your house. Has marriage not occurred? If you sleep with such a woman, are you committing fornication?

The keyword here is ceremony! Are both parties competent? Were there witnesses? Was it documented, either paper, photos and/or video? If these requirements were met then no court in Nigeria would deny that the union is valid, fornication no longer exists once dowry is accepted, the rest na packaging.

Kobojunkie:
Well, if it means keeping my dad from handing away my mum's blood and sweat to some second wife or sidechick, heck yeah!

Let that bridge burn well well.

We can rebuild it afterwards.

Isn't it funny that he never said they were bequeathed to him but he said left to us? Court cases are messy and imagine if there's no documentation that proves she left those properties specifically for him, imagine what would happen?

I hope he is the only son and that the dad is at an age too late to start bearing children, imagine what would happen if that boy lost the case. Sometimes the wise thing to do is letting go, unless the boy feels that he would never be able to build something worth more money than the inherited properties. My father has over 6 properties, my mom has 2 but guess what I already have over 10, our generation no dey too dull, the wise no dey even look at inheritance

Kobojunkie:
That's what I am getting at. If his parents just so happen to not have registered their union, that is a possible angle OP can pursue in fighting this.

Yes possibly but such a child must be ready to burn bridges and forever be an ostrich to his own family.

nencounter10:
Even if the are not registered, the court will still recognise it. BTW apart from a court the certificate issued during church marriage and Niqqah is not recognised in most paces. Until you register a marriage at a marriage registry, it is not yet registered. A marriage is deemed to be registered only and only of it is registered with the government. Those certificate issued during religious marriage just help to proof that a marriage has occurred. That certificate can then be used as a basis for registering the marriage with the government.

One more thing, church and mosque marriage are not traditional marriages, they are regious marriages. There are three types of marriages on Nigeria: court, religious, and traditional. Any of these three is valid, but each still need to be registered. Kobojunkie note the above.

There's no such thing as religious marriage anymore, it is all traditional. For you to get married in a church or by a Muslim clerics, certain requirements must be met such as parental consent, witnesses and in some cases dowry. No credible pastor or Alfa would officiate a union without one hence the term traditional or customary. Moving on, your opening sentence just stated the court will recognize it even if not registered but you contradict yourself by explaining further why it must be registered.

I know for a fact the court recognizes church and niqqah certificates without registering with the governemnt as long as certain requirements are met. Like I said to another person, the only difference between being married at a court/registry and being married in church or via niqqah is the level of protection one gives over the other, e.g traditional allows polygamy while court registry simply does not.

Kobojunkie:
What about cases where no documents are available to prove the existence of the Union?

Haaaa....then those one are in for a long thing . Since early 2000s, churches and mosques have been briefed on the new requirements, witnesses and documentation is a MUST!