₦airaland Forum

hidhrhis:
their are many things that affect the human body and it is not staph
if you go to any white hospital if you carry out a urine test and it shows staph they will term it as contamination and take the sample again and if you are using any antibiotics as at when you took the tesst they will tell you to fiish the antibiotics and come back for the test cos when you are on a drug like antibiotics if you take some drugs it gives false result

I did all that bro!

Lets not derail this jare!

Lets help OP instead of arguing.

I have passed and overcome that stage and came out victorious!

Lets encourage and proffer solution to his problem.

Meanwhile, if u know the huge no of people who are battling this staph of a thing, u won't just talk about it likely!

I've met some fellas on this forum who have spent more than 590k on this stuff!

Anyway, i pray OP gets a solution asap!

And i hope OP is not TTC sha?

ChybuzzDD:
Ok, bros, keep treating Staph.
I hope you've tried the 2 strongest antibiotics so far in existence: Meronem and Tigecycline??
These 2 are the gods of antibiotics. You can make use of them, as I can see you have so much money to spend on that innocent Staph.
Goodluck.

Oga, no hating na!

I've gone past that stage!

Help the OP! Me, i don't need help!

I'm just trying to encourage him!

Not all this stuff u are shouting upandan!

I tell u say i be medical student or doctor before?

Park well jare!

johnrix:
Married men in the house, which do you see keeps your marriage - love for your wife or Respect for her?

On one hand, one lady who is all nice and sweet, puts all her emotions into the rship, but her attitude, intellect needs some work. You are ready to help build her, educate her but you fear you might not respect that much. Her dream is a loving husband.

On the other hand, another lady, is not the loving/romantic type type, a little cold, but she is responsible and smart. You respect her a lot, but it looks, you will both have to grow the love. She'll have the tendency, say any disrespect, I'm packing my bags instead of working things out. Her primary focus is to be respected in her marriage.

Lastly, what do you ladies want? I hear some women say love, some say respect, some say both. It varies based on those who believe strongly in love vs those who don't want disrespect from their husbands. But one thing is sure, most women deep down want one over the other.

Respect and love are part of the equation but they are not the main thing that keeps a relationship together!

One of the major factor is the will to not just get married but to "stay married".

Love is not enough to keep a marriage!

There are a lot of factors!

For instance, no matter how strong your love for each other is, something will happen that will make u get mad at your partner and the hot love gets cold and frozen like ice block!

What happens?

Friendship! Friendship built will keep you people going and from there, the spark of love will reignite and love continues!

That's just one of it sha!

Don't forget the God factor

AmIaYahooGirl:
Hello Nls,
I'm not really someone who listens to what people say but I just want to share this so that y'all can air your views.

I'm a young girl, 23 and an orphan, dropped out of school and came to Lagos to make ends meet. When I first came to Lagos, I stayed with a married female cousin of mine, along the line, the husband started making advances to me which I politely declined. He got angry and told his wife to throw me out of the house, and yes she did.

I was thrown out of the house without anywhere to go and as someone who has survived losing both parents at such a young age, I literally lived and survived in the streets. Did all sorts of menial jobs, hawked purewater, soft drinks, worked in a bar and all that before I finally got an apartment.

The story isn't quite necessary but when I get talking with people and I tell them that I stay alone, next thing I'll hear is "you're too young to stay alone... it's not a good idea...blah blah blah. Some older woman even told me to go back to my cousin's house and beg them so I can continue staying with them, another told me that it's better I stay with my boyfriend than staying alone.

I really don't understand all these talks, like despite all I've been through, isn't staying alone the best option? Or is there something wrong with staying alone as a single young lady?

Your humble opinion is needed, thanks

Eeya, ignore the noise and continue to live your life!

My dad too was really mad at me when i left my aunt's place at what age sef?

As long as u know what you are doing, please, move on with your plan!

Make a huge success out of yourself and show them you are quite fine living alone!

And let them know that despite "being alone now, you are not lonely"

ChybuzzDD:
Which staph??
Staphylococcus aureus is usually an innocent bacteria that leaves in our skins and sometimes nasal cavities as a normal flora.
It only causes minor skin infections like boils, cellulitis, infection of wounds or toxic shock syndrome in some women that use tampons.
Why are people and the Herbalists attributing so much diseases to it??
People should go to good hospitals to properly diagnose their problems, and leave Staph aureus alone.

Bros, i passed through that phase and I used antibiotics i have never heard their names before in my life.

The thing didn't go and it was hindering our conception cos myself and my wife were bouncing it!

So, don't just dismiss that thing OP is talking about like that!

Medically, that's what u people will say while people are having issues with the damn staph!

chimeziefranklin:
a lot of people are fighting d dreaded staphyloccocus without cure ,that includes me,i've tried a lot of antibiotics,herbs,supplement without success, i have spend close to 90k without being cured I don't even have money to continue the treatment, so i ask is it right for me to say staph is an incurable disease/bacteria/organism whatever u want call it,but probably you've bin cured kindly tell us how u went about getting cured .please for d so called marketers dont bother asking me to call cos i wont so dont waste space allow those with meaningful input to comment

What sort of herbs have u tried bro?

Staph is stubborn sha but can be sorted

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Bro, you are just being silly and i really don't mean to insult u but just take it as it is.

Imagine if u had done the geno test and u were told "erroneously" that u were AA, would u be bothered? What if later u now gave birth to SS (God forbid) afterwards? Would u have doubted your baby's paternity?

See, problems will always come and that is life!

We must develop the ability to tackle any issues that comes our way.

U have loved this woman before now and u have promised heaven and earth to each other... why back out now?

I have people who got married when geno test wasn't the "in thing" and they have dozens of SS and life is going on.

See, i have taken care of SS kids and I know how difficult it can be but u just must decide to face this head on since your wife is preggy.

U only have 25% chances of giving birth to SS and AA. Then 50% chances of giving birth to AS so calm the Bleep down!

I have one (my aunts) i'm still researching on and we are progressing in herbal solution.

Go and reconcile with that woman and ensure she is happy with u before she gives birth.

The knife don cut baby for hand! Throwing it away won't reverse or do anything!

U don score and for that, you should be grateful to God.

Some have been pouring in this thing for decades, e no turn to pin not to talk of baby.

Go back to your wife please and make that damn marriage work before i get koboko and wire your big head!

If you are bold enough to poke her to a state of pregnancy, be bold and daring enough to go all heads in!

ticker:
I saw a kia Rio 2008 car and I want to buy it but I am in a dilemma. This is my first car. I don't want to make a bad choice. Pls guys advice me. is this car durable? can it travel far distance without issue and does it have electrical issues?

Based on some friend's experience, kia is a good brand BUUUUUUUUUUUT the parts are expensive.

If u buy original spare parts, they don't get spoilt easily!

But i will also advise u go with known japanese brands that even a blind mech can fix to avoid stories that touch the heart and tickles the bumbum!

suco01:
On the test, it is working perfectly and has been serving for years. all what we keep in the freezer compartment always iced. meat, drinks, water, pepper etc and it takes about 3days without light pending how frequently it's opened

Compressor is always HOT when workiing, even a novice knows this, which is normal, thermostat are attached to it to to maintain a certain temperature, if it goes beyond the temperature it cut off. There is no fan attach to it and it's working fine, see the attached pics.

Alright bro!

ichidodo:
[color=#1980BC] Do away with the missionary position....Try prone bone position, it will link your dick past her vaginal canal directly to the mouth of her womb...like your dick hole will feathering her cervix wall thereby making doubly sure your ejaculate goes throw the opening into her womb without wasting time in the vaginal canal which if it is too thick might not even let your ejaculate get up to the cervix thus delay conception...[[/color]

Broooooooooooooos! Haba, lie small small na!

Style can aid conception but not the determinant!

U can get pregnant sef without sex! Hope u know?

If u like, pour am into the tube sef, once certain conditions are not met, no conception o!

That's how God made it!

frozen70:
Where did you buy this fridge

Have you used it for 24hrs with steady light and its not working well

Some fridges have inbuilt condenser but I don't know why they did it so

Just take your complain to where you bought it

Of course, you are right but with experience, they don't work.

My neigbour uses LG 200litre deep freezer with the so called "inbuilt condenser cooler" but she's always having issues cos not external cooling fins.

I want to believe the ones without external cooling fins (passive cooling) are not built for Nigeria. U know weather is always hot!

NzeNaOgbunike:
God bless you my brother..

Just coming out from that shop,I have returned the Hisense fridge I bought yesterday.

Went there with my neighbor and we placed order for the type that he is using currently.(Haier Thermocool product)

Once the man delivers that one....I will let you all know.

Thanks once more for the advise and ur time.

Better jare!

U are always welcome sir

suco01:
My LG refrigerator doesn't use any cooling fan at all and it's work perfectly.

Congratulations.

Run this test.

Put 6 packs (72 bottles) or more of soft drink (coke or pepsi).

Then come back and share your testimony again sir!

Electronics equipments are designed to work in a particular way and also "in a particular region", hence, the need not to have cooling fins but i can tell u, it's not made for naija where the heat here can bake bread!

Try and touch your compressor and see how super hot it gets.

Lest i forget, electronic devices performance drop when they heat up! Laptop is a good example.

So any extra way or form to dispose of heat, is a welcome development!

suco01:
It's not about technologist. I am not disputing your claims. I already state one of the reasons it's inbuilt, also being inbuilt doesn'y mean it should make it hot, that's why I said if he feels it's isn't working well he should return it. Everything is not fight matter, you should read and understand

And i wasn't fighting u jare!

U simply didn't get my point either!

Everybody deserves to buy something good that will give peace of mind!

I am simply against all those "without cooling fins at the back" cos i have got plenty of them all around where i stay! Eventually, an external fan is always recommended when they don't operate as expected.

Hope u understand what i wrote up there?

NzeNaOgbunike:
Thank you very much my brother.

Some people suggested Haier Thermocool or Scanfrost.


Hope there are nice products?

Haier Thermocool is a good brand. I use their chest freezer!

U won't go wrong with that but whatever brand u finally settle for, ensure it has the cooling fins at the back to avoid stories that touch!

Then test it! Once its heating up, DO NOT BUY sir!

A good fridge or freezer does not need to heat up while working!

Ignore all these cooling engineers who are shouting upandan and buy what will give u peace of mind!

suco01:
Not all new products come with external condenser, all new refrigerator and freezers has an inbuilt fan attach to the compressor. This diagram will help you to know what's it means by inbuilt condenser. Note inbuilt condenser doesn't mean it is place on the body. 2nd and 3rd frame shows how an inbuilt compressor is in a refrigerator.

Mr fridge technologist, i know all these stuffs.

You think the companies that still went ahead to put cooling fins at the back of fridge and deep freezers don't know what they are doing, abi?

My deep/chest freezer is haier thermocool. Its got the so called fan you are talking about and "also" black coated cooling fins at the back!

And i love it that way cos it gets the job done and fast!

And by the way, the body doesn't get hot!

NzeNaOgbunike:
Greetings,

I just Bought this Refrigerator ( Hisense Product) today but it doesn't have external condenser and it's making the body of the refrigerator to be hot....

Am just not comfortable with it.

Please I need your Candid advise.....Does refrigerators with internal condensers last and How good is Hisense product(s) ?

If possible, pls return it and get one with external condenser fins.

My neighbour bought one LG deep freezer like that and the freezer has cooling issues!

We bought ours and i ensured it had the external condenser! And it works like a charm.

You may decide to keep it but be prepared to buy external fan to blow the compressor cos it will get very hot while working which is what u are experiencing!

veave:
Is it only her treating infections? If yes, Bro you've been reinfecting her so both of you should go for a thorough check up.
I've been married since 2018 and we're still waiting to get pregnant. Don't put too much pressure on yourselves please.

Wow!

Not trying to derail this thread but madam, u and oga should try and go for check up o! Na simple thing dey delay pregnancy.

Sperm count can read 200 million and still have bad quality and movement.

When all conditions of conception are met, you will get pregnant. It could be something as simple as even u not having enough blood to accomodate conception.

Ordinary folic acid sometimes could solve the issue!

And sometimes, pregnancy could take place but make oga still dey use his 3rd leg to remove it via deep penetration. So be on the look out o!

Every couple deserve to be happy and i ernestly await your testimonies ma!

Josephilemona:
I am interested sir, here's my number 08126837189

No problem bro!

I'll chat u up tomorrow! Or u could buzz me incase i forget: 0803 431 1147!

It is well bro!

Shoodboi:
I am so pissed off right now.

I wasn’t angry when I broke the card. I just wanted to make sure that:

i. I will not be able to use the card or account anymore.

ii. I will be forced to open a new regular bank account.


The Story (in brief)

I suffered a failed POS transaction yesterday.

I sent Wema ALAT a mail and they are yet to reply as of now (almost 24 hours later).

I called them this morning and listened to a recorded message about how my call may be delayed because of COVID-19. I quickly cut the call. Their customer wasn’t effective before the virus came along, so I wonder what to expect now.

I later visited their bank and the customer care rep told me the transaction will be reversed within 14 days, if they were sure that I was really unable to withdraw the money.

14 days? Why is this so?

The money doesn’t even belong to me and the owner is very angry with me right now. Someone sent it to her and she wanted to use someone else's account to receive it, but I convinced her to use me—and then this happened.

Worse, she needs it for feeding and I don't have any money to give her. (She wasn’t paying me for the service in case you’re wondering.)

I suffered the same thing in the hands of GTB. (Their regular customer service email complaints@gtbank.com isn't even working anymore.)

In fact, I opened a WEMA Alat account because of GTB’s failures. I thought Alat will be better since they marketed themselves as a “Digital Bank”, but it appears that I was wrong. They are “digital” in name only.

This should be the third or fourth time WEMA Alat is doing this sort of nonsense to me. And that is without counting the failed mobile and POS transfers.

I am actually not concerned about GTB’s and Wema’s failures. I just hate their terrible customer service.

Failed transactions are one thing. I actually consider them normal. However, poor customer service and unwillingness to quickly solve failed online transactions aren’t. And this is unfortunately common with most banks and businesses in this country.

Now, I’ve have made the decision to stop going cashless. I will start moving around with cash henceforth. I’m sick and tired of all these failed POS transactions and sluggish customer service reps.

I know I will still do some online transactions but that will be occasionally (online shopping, international payments, etc.)

That said, I want you all to answer these two questions:

1. Which bank is reliable for online transactions?

2. Which bank has the most effective customer care service in this country?

I’m thinking of opening a Union bank account since I can see they have revamped their business, but I don't want to jump into conclusions as I did with Alat.

Could you all help me out?

P.S. Please UBA and Skye (if this one still exists) are out of the equation. I used them in the past and can confidently say they are terrible. They steal money.

I don’t want Access bank too. I’ve never read anything good about them. They and fraud are relatives. I don’t want Diamond bank either since they are the new owners of Access bank.

So, any suggestions?

In matters like this, Wema na baba!

The matter may be like that for 1 year!

Why u may ask?

A neighbour of mine was owing me 25k and she didn't explain to me what happened!

As she begin dey drag fee, na hin i threaten to take the matter to SARS (na just shakara), the money show face!

But till now, wema has not resolved her matter since 4months ago!

As per Gtbank, that's my bank!

One thing gtbank is not good for is going to the bank physically to lodge complaints!

U will just fill form and it may be there for days!

My trick is to apply for dispense error myself via the internet banking platform!

And if i get no response in hours, i email their headquarters!

To me, Gtbank is the best! Wema is worse but between wema and fcmb, i can't tell who is better!

OP use gtbank but apply for internet banking!

bigmodo:
I am an As and I am getting married to an As. I love this girl so much that I am moving forward to marry her.

We have done our introduction and our traditional marriage is next month. I know the complications of an As marrying As in the issues of children they might give birth to. But I have no choice. I want to marry the love of my life.

Eeeya, pele, oko iyawo ele.pon blue!

That silly love will clear from your eyes when the SS wahala comes up.

See, if you have never cared for a child that is SS that is very close to you, you won't understand how bad and seriously shitt.y things can get!

I don't pray u experience SS wahala! Some of my colleagues at work, despite earning fat salaries are in serious pains cos of the SS thingy!

A word is enough for the wise!

Josephilemona:
hello my people, I have been married for six months but my wife haven't been able to get pregnant, despite her treating infections both English and local method, I need help because my wife is really Disturbed even though I have been trying my best to encourage her never to give up, what could be the problem?

You see, you have just mentioned what the problem is and you have also failed to do the right thing sir.

When the issue of infection is to be addressed, both partners must be treated to be sure its not being bounced around.

Simply because u feel its only your wife that's infected is the reason she is not getting pregnant.

There is 80% chances you are also infected and once infection sets in, your sperm count, quality and other factors will also be affected.

Both of u should go and run test to know what is wrong and u must be treated together.

If its staph, omo, you go work hard o cos that stuff doesn't go away easily.

I'm not a doctor o but i've also battles some stuffs together with my wife and God gave us victory.

It is well!

If you would rather discuss privately, hit me up on whatsapp maybe i could recommend some stuffs u can buy to u. Purely herbal and cheap

Sanchez01:
I have an HP 8440p that has gulped 3 HDDs within the past 3 months!

A little history

I bought it on Amazon in 2018: a core i7 HP EliteBook and it has not given me an issue for a day until about three months ago.

Although I noticed that the BIOS was passworded when I got it. I couldn't bring myself to take it to Computer Village in Ikeja because of my past experiences with Policemen around that area.

The power pack got damaged about five months ago and had to change it immediately.

A month after, the original HDD that came with it crashed one morning without signs or warnings. All I noticed was media files kept freezing at intervals and I did a restart and that was it.

About two days later, I got another 500GB HDD. Mounted it and installed a Windows 10 on it. I had barely used it for three days before it crashed. Had to take it to the shop I bought it from and they outrighly declined a replacement and refund altogether. Then I got another 500GB (Seagate) which has been perfect ever since until this morning.

I noticed my programmes weren't responding and did a restart. 20 minutes later, it was yet to restart even though it said "restarting". I did a hard reset and it failed to boot.

Hard disk test says "read failure error". I had to remount the HDD but the response is the same.

Along with the one that came with it, this is the third HDD within 3 months. A part of me wants to smash a heavy rod or wood on the PC but irọ nla. It is a crazy strong PC and I love it.

I'm weighing the option of selling it off or taking it to Ikeja for a swap deal but those guys always negotiate items like they are stolen.

I want to know if I can still salvage the PC. Epp me, edakun.

Lalasticlala

Its most likely overheating! And there is every likelyhood those hard drives had issues before you bought them and the heat of a thing helped in accelerating their demise.

I use a 8540p and i'm also battling with the heat thing but it doesn't affect my hdd sha! The system used to shut down back then..

Try and check to be sure the under side of your laptop is not heating up

My favourite is:

Let righteousness cover the earth

Dyt:
What is Before, In Between and After?

Yeah we all know marriage is an institution between 2 persons with the aim to have offspring and companionship, but is this all we see and make of it?

I am a person that believes in relationship/marriage and tries to go far in making it work well except when it starts to affect my mental health (i cant go mad all in the name of i want it to work)

Some say marriage is easy while some say its a hard work, we all have different opinions..
I for one been married before, it didnt work not because i couldnt try but (my choice anyway)

I am considering going into another and all the things that we do that counts now may not in few years, I mean the sexiness, the kamasutra and all, well ofcourse i am not just gonna be offering just sex, we both got more to keep us going for a 100years to come (my favourite part is the friendship and companionship)...

I am scared sometimes waking up to him every other day and same way it excites me

How has it been with those married for 5years and counting? the joy, feeling, the tears, the arguments, the sex, I mean all of it....

Marriage can be both easy and hard!

It all depends on who you get married to and that is a super dupa big, if not, God factor sef!

Its like a boat! If both of u paddle your sides, the boat moves forward... if not, and 1 person paddles, the boat will go round in circles ... no progress niyen o!

So, your worst fear should be "getting married to a donkey" .... and if you are careful enough, u will end up with the right person.... one just have to be objective and not reason with emotions!

Takeit2017:
God why? Why me?
I dnt have confidence speaking good English always Craming what to say?

Please help me.

Eeya, its quite simple to fix!

Buy this books: Brighter Grammar 1, 2 and 3. Shouldn't be more than N700 each!

Within few months of reading, you will learn to speak correctly and that, will boost your confidence!

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

So sorry about your issues bro but i'm sure some of these traits she is exhibiting had always been there but u didn't notice or you thought she will be a better person closer to u and also, in a advanced/developed country.

But unfortunately, most people can't handle success or such environment!

Try and read up on privacy laws as per what u can do with a secret camera, etc then get like 5 or so it! Install and gather video evidence over some days or weeks! Like someone said, move faraway from such woman pls!

If u don't act fast, she will get u all deported and that will be devastating.

Most ladies, knowing fully well that the law favour them in advanced countries end up playing games cos they know the properties will be split and they may end up getting big chunks! So, they marry u, put up a fight, divorce and they earn! They usually go ahead and do that to like 4 men and guess what? They are rich and made!

That's whats up bro! So wise up and get her sorry as.s deported fast if she won't conform!

I am anti domestic violence against women and also against men!

Una dey obodo oyinbo country to have access to better life/opportunities and not settling scores!

But believe me bro, an average naija woman can't handle success! Quote me anywhere!

Millennialaku:
i am just tired

i have used cc cleaner to clean registry
i still have 180gb remaining in my HDD
i updated some of my drivers recently
i use ctrl alt delete to resign in no way, which results in me removing the battery every time it freezes

I NEED HELP

i dont know what the issue is, I AM JUST TIRED

NOTE: i bought it brand new 2018

Most likely, you have any of more of the following problems:

1. U installed an antivirus that's using most of the processor resources, hence, leaving u with little power to do your own work eg avg, etc
2. You have no antivirus, hence, virus/malware have built an estate of duplex on your computer ... install free avast! Its been working for me for over 5years
3. Your hard drive is super slow! Consider upgrading to an ssd! I use mine and most times, i am left with 10gb and yet, the speed does not reduce!
4. Your computer is overheating, hence, to protect the hardware, the processing power is being automatically reduced! Clear your heat vents with brush or air cleaner!

Check your task manager to view resource usage or post the screenshot here!

delkuf:
Good Nairaland I don't normally do this, bringing my family issue here but this issue is pissing me off.

Here is the story. I got married last year, and I thought I have known her enough that was why I married her. But to my surprise I started discovering that she is too stiff. She is too hard. When she says she is not doing something, that is it, she won't do it.

Sometimes if am broke, and I ask for Small amount of money, most time I want to use that money to get means for bigger money, she won't give.

She gives me time for sex. Presently am down with fever and the only thing she has ever asked me is how is your body. No what will you take or something. Am starting to think of quitting the marriage. The only issue is that she is pregnant and this is my first child.

Eeya, sowie bro!

I feel your pains but this matter is quite easy.

Every woman, once they get married, start churning out some rules (giving timetable for sex etc) that usually spells dooms and disaster for them! So your case is not special!

They will even go to the extreme by not caring about how you feel etc and its always like that so don't get mad bro!

And as regards money, you should be smart enough to create a budget! Once it is exceeded, she should know she is on her own!

If your salary is 50k and every month your total recurring expenses is 20k, budget 10k for yourself and let her know! Keep 10k as something to fall back on and give her 5-10k for her personal upkeep.

She should know your financial upper limit so that u don't end up spending far above your income!

And always have a backup plan for funding business opportunities that comes your way.

Back then when i wanted to start a biz that would bring in money, a silly lady i was dating back then was against it! I didn't mind her. I just went ahead and started the damn biz! When the thing begin bring in some money to augment my take home, then she understood what i was trying to do.

Our ladies hardly understand the business side of life! Hence they tend to hold on to money, even if u wan use 10k do small web design business to make 30k, they will refuse!

As per your malaria thing, bros, you must belong to our AA O+ group! If so, then always ensure u have artemether + lumefantrine based malaria drug(s) always handy! And ensure u treat it once in 3 months or less (depending on how frequent the thing comes).

Sit her down and discuss.

Don't quit that marriage, rather make it work! No relationship is perfect!

Her present pregnancy period might be messing with her emotions so she needs u just like u need her!

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Hell yeah! She wants u outta the damn house brova!

So man up!

You have what it takes to sustain a family!

Just try to up your game and make good money from your skills!

MOve out and become a successful person and watch as she will change her testimony!

evansjeff:
Recently I've been very bothered about myself. I'm a guy of around 30 but some things that still worry my heart is really disturbing. I will start like this.

1. Something embarrassing happened some time last year when I travelled home for visit. They bought a goat and was looking for who to kill it, me knowing I'm the most senior man at home jejely went into ghost mode, everyone started looking for me, in the end I had to come out but shamelessly told them I can't kill it. They had to call a 16 year old opposite neighbour to do it while my younger ones helped him hold the goat. I couldn't even stand the sight of seeing the goat struggling for life while receiving knife in the throat. I left there immediately.

2. You might think it's normal for goat until I tell you that I can't kill a chicken or rat, last Christmas, I badly wanted to buy a life chicken because I beleive it's more healthy, but who will kill it? Bae was around, I don't want any embarrassment so I jejely bought frozen chicken . There is a wall gecko strolling around my room for weeks now, but I can't kill it, it becomes embarrassing any time I have a visitor

3. The most recent is, there are two birds trying to build a house in my lobby, I kept destroying the house but they didn't give up, it got to a point, I felt bad for the poor birds, what if they don't have a house? what if I'm the one building a house with all my strength and government keeps destroying it? I had to leave them to build. My neighbour said he killed the birds that tried doing that in his house but me can i do that? No. i just tire.

4. Lastly, When travelling and there's an accident, people rush out to watch but I dare not else the trauma will remain for months, I can't stand the sight of blood and body cuts.

Any time I think about killing an animal, I ask myself, what if I'm the one being held by boko haram or killer herdsmen and about to be slaughtered? How excruciating the pain can be.

Any time I think about crushing a cockroach, I ask myself, what if I'm the one trying to cross the high way and dangote trailer crushes me?

So guys, am I normal? Do I need to see a doctor or a psychologist?

Its very normal.

I used to be like that some years ago but i talked some senses into myself and today, i can kill a horse (just joking) but u get my point?

Nobody can help u overcome this shi.t but you & yourself only!

As per seeing a psychologist or something, it might be in order but i'll rather have u face the stuff head on!

ken711:
I have been dating a girl for about 18 months now. Very pretty but my brothers, let me tell you... Look before you leap when it comes to pretty girls.

From the minute I met this girl it has been one money request after another. If it was small sums I guess I wouldn't really mind, as I have always worked for blue chip companies and can afford it. The thing is, her requests are always very big!.....20k this, 20K that.....but my brothers, I have to tell you the one that has made me even disappointed in myself.

She lives with her parents and they are the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of... Everyday one person is fighting the other, and this my girlfriend, as fine as she is, is the most arrogant, prideful, violent & rude person I have ever met. She hounded me everyday that I must get her an apartment of her own, so she can escape her home, and I agreed to but by saving monthly.

Would you believe, one night, when she was working at a bar as an usher for guinness, she gave her number to 2 different men just because of this apartment. My spirit kept telling me that she gave her number out, but she kept lying...only for me to catch her texting one of the men when we were at church of all places.......

She even went as far as going to meet this rich man at a hotel, but the man ran away when she made that request, and I as a fool decided to finally do it for her. (I suspect she cheated on me that night and I always tell it to her face because she has cheated on me twice before)

I live on the Island and tried to get her to rent here as well, as I really want to keep an eye on her..... She has too many guys around her who live in that area and she is this kind of person who cheats out of revenge, even over small things.....this girl refused and threatened to break things off!....bro, as a mumu I sent the money to her to rent the place and for other things, about 400K.....

Ever since that money left my account, it's like my eyes cleared!!! I couldn't believe that instead of saving my hard earned money, I went and sent it to a girl that has cheated on me twice (or even more), lied to me, slapped me and done so many things.....but I just decided to leave everything for God, seeing as she was desperate.

The problem now is that the demands for that apartment is now becoming too much!!! The expenses just to get the place finished are such a burden on my financial and mental state...

The worst happened about two days ago, she wanted me to pay 20k. Infact I just got so tired of bills that I kinda was stalling on it, but what happened next truly shocked me. Would you believe this girl started punching me, slapping me and even tore my shirt cos of 20k. She even threatened to break my office laptop (working from home) until I sent the money, after that she left........

Now she is trying to apologize so that I will pay for bed and gas and the remaining things....my brothers, I know u will say am a fool!...I accept...I am a handsome guy, studied abroad, I just don't know why loneliness made me fall in love with such a sadistic user... My only problem is, do I pay for the bed and just finish what I started or just free the whole thing and the nearly 500K I have already spent...

Please help!

You are indeed the King of fools and dumb heads!

How can u do that for a girl you have not married sef?

All nairalanders supposed flog u with 10 strokes of koboko each to reset your black paint coated brain!

Always open your brain bro!

These hoes ain't loyal!

Break up with her right now before i open my coro coro eyes or else .....

Man up bro! She is playing u big time and has your Over-Drive-Mumu-Button!