₦airaland Forum

They are undocumented migrants with no work visa and work permit and yet they couldn't even lay low.

What is so hard in laying low, or spending money modestly?

Well, I guess it is their evil deeds catching up on them.

sEGXY2:
Please if you want to be a critic, please be an objective one. This statement is obviously coming from a place of hate. I've been following Adesua right from the day i watched wedding party and I can tell you for a fact that she is certainly not overrated as she lives up to the hype.

Although I won't lie. She didn't do much justice to her role in King of boys but in the category she was nominated, she was the best. Check out the other actors in that category.

Africans don't produce good actors and actresses. Maybe it is the directors who limit their acting skills with poor directing or the actors and actresses are just that poor.

Adesua is not a good actress. She doesn't demonstrate the necessary emotions, she just says her lines with minimal use of emotions. You can identify Adesua Etomi in all her roles. This should never be the case.

However, she is nowhere as overhyped as Omotola and Genevieve.

iamJ:
For a moment there, I tot she won an Oscar


This bald ode, always hyping this agama lizard that he calls a wife

Useless actress, 1 Kobo talent like this, she no get


All her movies, it's so obvious that she was acting, hype left and right


As for banky, I no blame you, after years of woman rejecting your bald spermatozoas, u finally found one that was ready to accept having bald sons and daughters


We understand u bro

Very unnecessary.

I agree that Adesua can't act to save her life, but the attack on a man who is happy for his wife's latest achievement is very silly to say the least. How does being bald an offence to you? Did he commit any crime by being bald?

Even you might go bald. You hair can start receding in your late 30s.

BORNTOSUCKPUSSY:
jesus see wickedness not all bald men give birth to bald sons my dad is bald as fûck but my hairline has not moved an inch

Hairlines typically start receding in your late 20s or late 30s.

So, it would depend on your age. If your hair hasn't begun to recede, it doesn't mean it won't recede when the time comes.

Rolex66:
I'm happy that you know that it also means Computer Based Test. Don't be deluded. Other therapies, not necessarily Psychological could be denoted by CBT.

Is Computer Based Test a type of therapy? I specifically mentioned therapy before mentioning CBT.

You are the one who is deluded.

Tell me what other therapies the CBT denotes?

All these ignorant fellows sef. Nawa for una.

SomehowBROWN:
But all these comments I'm reading on nairaland is just making me disappointed, texting a client by that time and for that purpose is very unprofessional and that's it.

Unprofessional? How?

What about those who ask riders out on a date?

Many people here who find the guy unprofessional seem to agree that it would be preferable for him to ask her while she was still in his vehicle. Would that not also be unprofessional?

If a doctor asks a former patient out .Vs. if a doctor asks a patient out. Which do you think is unprofessional?

lexy2014:
Who is accusing d doctors? Did u read my post all? I don't think u did. Cos if u did, u would have found d insight to d mystery u are trying to solve

You asked why someone would have consensual sex and still feel abused.

So, I told you that you should read about doctor-patient relationships and see why a patient might feel abused even if the sex was consensual and why the medical laws and ethics would support her.

Rolex66:
If I tell you that you need TUK as a treatment option, would that make sense to you? The import of my earlier reply was that your CBT should have been broken down for an average reader to understand. Communicating effectively and not ambiguously is one of the indices of a lettered person.

Bro, the most popular and researched therapy in the world is the CBT.

Anywhere therapies are discussed, and you mention CBT, every informed person knows what you are talking about.

I didn't speak freely, I did mention therapy before mentioning CBT.

As far as therapy is concerned, there is only one CBT.

In addition, I don't have to spoonfeed people. If you are at a loss, all you need is search CBT (Therapy)

Learning is a conscious effort. There are many things I have learnt by reading rather than expecting to be spoonfed. It is not every detail of something that I was told in school.

And there is nothing ambiguous about using CBT. If I didn't mention therapy, then I would have used the acronym CBT ambiguously since it can also mean Computer Based Test.

But I was specific by mentioning therapy. There is only one therapy that is called CBT.

Jaymoney5000:
EFCC are looking for petition first before they can probe tinubu when it's quite obvious that what he did was wrong!!!! How can a bullion van containing lot of monies be seen at his residence on election Eve.....is this not a pure case of money laundering and some kind of vote buying

NIGERIA is finished

If na naira Marley now EFCC for Don carry am nonsense govt and nonsense EFCC

The anti-money laundering act does not say you can't move huge amount of cash earned legitimately within a country.

To file a legitimate case against Tinubu, you must be able to prove that the money he moved around where earned outside the country, and that this money were earned illegitimately.

Ojiofor:
I thought Nigeria operating cashless policy while ThıeftTınubu is operating Bullion van policy.

Cashless policy does not intend to put an end to moving large amounts of cash around.

It just aims to reduce it.

Huge amounts of cash are still being moved about, but not with the same frequency or occurrences of the past.

FarahAideed:
You have clearly not read the anti Money laundering act

The act does not say you can't move large sums of money earned legitimately within the territory of the concerned country which in this case is Nigeria.

Revisit the judgment of the EFCC vs Thomas case.

Ryan03:
how exactly was the girl rude? I have right to tell anyone not to contact me anymore and that is not rudeness, being rude is contacting a person who did not give you their number and still trying to blackmail them into accepting your offer of friendship (or whatever it is he was offering?

I am not disputing rights. I am just saying that our education teaches us to be polite.

You have the right to tell somebody off, but the genteelness that education is supposed to give us allows us to exercise our rights with politeness.

Go and watch videos of guys wooing white girls. They are mostly prank videos, and to the girls initially, the men are nothing but strangers, yet the girls show some class in their responses. You can be assertive without being rude. That's my point.

lexy2014:
How was she abused and still saying she had consensual sex? How can u be a victim and a willing participant in a sexual encounter at d same time? its not possible. Saying it was consensual means she wasnt coerced and that every sexual activity she say she performed with d guy, she did out of her freewill. How do u now bring abuse and manipulation into that equation except maybe u are saying d meaning of the words "consensual", "abuse" and "manipulation" have all changed.

your analogy of a doctor/patient relationship isnt applicable in this case. if a patient decided to enter into a consensual sexual relationship with his or her doctor, then d key word there is "consent". if the medical governing body decides to discipline the doctor for doing such because it is against the ethics of the profession, that doesnt negate d fact that d patient consented. and by d way, u referring to a third party which is absent in d Ese/Fatoyinbo case. if d doctor and d patient just like fatoyinbo and ese decide to go and have a good time in a hotel, thats consent written all over it. i dont no how after spending more than a week in a hotel with a married man, going to enjoy urself at the pool, going shopping and with several rounds of consensual sex, u now claim abuse. theres a difference between abuse and guilt. lets not mistake one for d other

Did you read my post at all?

Go and read about why doctors have consensual sex with their patients and are still accused of sexual misconduct.

Rolex66:
Educated people state the meaning of the acronyms they use. CBT on my mind.

Anyone with any form of education would know what CBT means as per therapy.

I am a mathematician, not a psychologist. But I am a voracious reader. I like to read across disciplines, even about stuffs from the Humanities.

Anyway, CBT (as per therapy) means Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy.

Ryan03:
you are the one who didn't go to school. Just look at you creating excuses for the guys stupidity

And you are making excuses for the girl's rudeness.

There is nothing stupid in what he did. You can file a charge of misappropriation of personal details against him, but even that is not a crime nor is it stupidity. Highest he would get is being delisted by Bolt.

No police will arrest a man for misappropriation of personal details in a non-criminal way.

lilfreezy:
But seriously, I don't think they need a university degree, I think they shoud invest more on skill acquisition while they are doing their time. Once they are out, they could set up a workshop. I myself won't even employ an excon. Even in America that tag will render you jobless. Skill acquisition is the way to go.

Note: for those quoting me, we live in a discriminatry world. No one cares whether or not you've been Convicted, once the system has you,
you've been tagged for life. In job application forms or interviews, they don't ask if you've been Convicted, they ask IF YOU'VE BEEN EVER CHARGED WITH A CRIME. They don't wanna hear your explanations, all they wanna know is if you've been charged. You are not close to someone who has been through the system so you won't understand.

Sadly, many of those inmates are not doing time. There are more inmates awaiting trial (they have not been convicted) than criminals. Many of these guys may be innocent like the Mr Adenyi in the OP.

May God save us from suffering for crimes that we did not commit.

uruba23:
Well the Lord is your strength you really have nothing to fear,he would definitely put his angels charge over you,but it also make sense to take precautionary measures like she did, I am sure no one his perfect , even the man of God sometimes wants to be forgiven when he do wrong,problem is we are judgmental in this part of the world.

Great point.

However, I don't have any pity for pastors who fall. Reason being that some of the most judgmental people on earth are religious leaders. They judge you for everything. In fact, they take the position of judges over your life. So, expectedly, it would be hard for them to ask for forgiveness from people that they had themselves constantly judged.

lexy2014:
Pls help me clarify d following. Did Ese claim that she was raped or that she had consensual sex? Was it at COZA that her supposed sexual encounter took place or was it in a hotel? If d whole idea is to heal, has she gone back to d hotel to confront it?

Ese said the relationship was consensual, but that she was left feeling abused and manipulated.

Think of the relationship between a doctor and his patient. Even if it is consensual, medical laws and ethics don't think so. They believe that a doctor and his patient exist on very different level and that a patient was incapable of technically giving consent to someone like her doctor who is adjudged in a place of position to manipulate her covertly. Medical law regards even consensual sex between a doctor and his patient as a misconduct.

The sexual encounters did not happen in COZA but it happened with Biodun. COZA members immediately went hard on her dragging her on social media. So, she has come to associate Biodun (her manipulator) with COZA (an assembly of people who verbally and emotionally abused her).

Depending on the strengths of association with places that cause you pains, the image of Biodun and the COZA assembly might have been categorized higher than the picture of the hotel by her brain.

uruba23:
Sometimes the best way to heal is to face that which hurt you and choose not to be hurt,instead show love.I honestly understood where she is coming from but she has never complete her healing,until she goes without disguise and damn whatever anybody wanna say,cos there opinion doesn't matter.

You underrate what some of these Christian Church members are capable of doing.

The woman that accused Oyedepo of being occultist some years back was nearly lynched when she dared visit Winners Chapel Ota.

I tell people that Christians are just as fanatical as Muslims. They just have more restrains. Don't ever believe that they can't get violent where their Daddy GOs are concerned.

I remembered a team trying to seal up a church in Ibadan for noise pollution. They were almost lynched by the church members. The men had to run for their lives and return with backups.

dairykidd:
And u think all that is intelligence.. i wouldn't waste time insulting ur father. I'm proud of mine and i know what he has attained in life is unreachable by your kindred both academically, financially and socially. You when go school and no fit understand simple breach of privacy but u dey google words that u can't understand .. continue with ur worm character and be sneaking up on girls at odd hours. May pussay put u in trouble as u wish...

Accept my apology for being extremely rude. It is very unlike me. I will modify that post.

Happy Sunday!!!

My Asisat is just banging in goals like sey tomorrow no dey.

Go girl!!! You must win world best before you retire.

Yoighaman:
Thank you for this post. I couldn't have written better.

Some comments here baffle me and felt like bashing people but I kept my cool because opinions do differ and one must respect other people's.

I like this Ese lady, very intelligent, confident and daring. She's also a very good writer, she subtly passed across loads of important and helpful messages in this article but many are quick to read and attack her.

I wish her the best in all her endeavors.

God bless you.

Just imagine in what direction some people took her intentions.

It is one thing to be able to read, it is another thing to have comprehension skills.

dairykidd:
And u think all that is intelligence.. i wouldn't waste time insulting ur father. I'm proud of mine and i know what he has attained in life is unreachable by your kindred both academically, financially and socially. You when go school and no fit understand simple breach of privacy but u dey google words that u can't understand .. continue with ur worm character and be sneaking up on girls at odd hours. May pussay put u in trouble as u wish...

Below is the definition of a privacy breach:

A privacy breach occurs when someone accesses information without permission. It starts with a security breach — penetrating a protected computer network — and ends with the exposure or theft of data. That data may include personally identifiable information such as your name, address, Social Security number, and credit card details.
https://us.norton.com/internetsecurity-privacy-what-is-a-privacy-breach.html

Explain to me how the driver breached privacy? From the above definition, it says privacy breach starts with a security breach.

The driver did not penetrate any computer system. The number was shared with him by his employers.

Perhaps, his acts might amount to misappropriation of information or a breach of trust, but I have read Bolt's policy concerning calls between driver and rider and any lawyer can sum them up into ambiguities, and make a case for this driver.

Bolt themselves make riders' numbers visible to drivers for 24 hours after the ride. So, why would a driver need to break into any system to collect personal information that have already been shared with them.

You can accuse him of misappropriation of personal details (and this is even debatable) but it is plain ignorant to even mention privacy breach or even more ridiculously stalking which is determined by how repeatedly an harassment occurs, and not a one-off conversation.

Okuda:
who send her message. abeg make we hear word!

Many of you talk like this because you are either uneducated or you have never worked with traumatic people before.

What she has done is something close to CBT which is one of the most effective therapy for managing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Many retired soldiers and victims of natural disasters are helped using CBT.

The difference between CBT and what Ese did is that Ese's was more like a simplified desensitization.

Midas01:
@bolded maybe if you took your own advice and learnt to stop generalising you'd actually have small sense.

I've met guys who pretended they needed directions only to "express" themselves just right after giving them directions. Infact, one particular guy told me, "just cuz I wanted to ask you for directions you're acting up as if I wanted to chyke you or something"...

Guess what? That same dude disturbed me for several months and even told me that was his real intention on the same day he had asked for directions.

Y'all out here calling women out for the same thing you'd praise your gf for doing. Lmao.

Do you know the meaning of generalization?

I am asking not to generalize, and you are accusing me of generalizing.

Are you telling me that every guy who asks for direction has ulterior motives? So, because a guy asked for direction under the guise of wanting to chyke, it means every guy who asks for direction should immediately be treated like trash?

You obviously aren't into this conversation because you are so confused.

You are the one who is guilty of generalization. You even used an example to support your desire to generalize.

You need psychiatric evaluation. Your symptoms suggest disassociative disorder.

Midas01:
Trash!!

@ bolded. If she had said that, you demented idiot would've said it was rude too.

And know this, that lady was not obliged to tell a stranger/stalker her relationship status. I know you fish can't process rational thoughts but when on a public forum pretend you have small sense.

You are the greatest fool in the whole wide world.

Stalking has a keyword repeated

Tell me how a one-off conversation became stalking to you village idiot?

You define rules in your brainless skull and bandy it around with so much ignorance.

Midas01:
Did she insult him? And is she obliged to tell him she is in a committed relationship? She has said she didn't wanna talk to him, why can't that be enough?

She never started off well. That is the point.

It is not by force to be respectful, but our education thought us respect as a virtue. Only brutes and uneducated illiterates display rudeness at every opportunity.

dairykidd:
No mind that bluntboy.. he's most likely a rapist from the way he sounds

Are you telling me that one becomes a rapist by intiating non-business contact while off the job?

Thank God not everyone is a lawyer. The stupidity with which some of you jump into conclusion is staggering.

In law, there is something called actusreus and mensrea. To prove beyond reasonable doubt that someone is guilty of a crime, you have to prove a case for actusreus and mensrea.

From a simple conversation, quack Nigerian lawyer wannabes have drawn a conclusion that the guy is a rapist and stalker.

Go school, una sey no. See now, you can't even argue like educated people.

AZeD1:
Did you miss this part?

After we dropped her off, he asked if I wanted to go out for coffee. I said while he seemed really nice, I wasn’t looking for anything serious, so I was only really only interested in a quick "coffee"
at mine.


The Uber driver asked her out in the car and not text her by 1am.

The Bolt driver could have asked if he could contact her later.

So, what is your point?

That is legal to ask your rider out in your line of business? So, women don't deserve any privacy? They can wooed right there and then by any driver who fancies them?

Tell me, do you think there is any taxi company that allows this type of relationship between driver and rider?

I know Bolt does not allow it.

So, tell me, what difference does it make that he called her late at night rather than go against company policy by asking a rider out?

Jayslicky:


Fatoyinbo is an example of what most women want, rich, handsome, swaggerlicious and a good fvcker. Wouldn't be surprised busola is also trying to reach out to him, lack of good sex made her mad , fatoyinbo should do the needful.

She didn't reach out to him. She went to confront the place that has given her so much distress in life.

In psychology, there is something called desensitization. More like facing your fears to conquer them.

Now, she has finally attended COZA and seen that she has overcome her hate for Biodun, and everything associated with him. Now, she can move on with her life.

I am sure her past must have also affected her marriage. So, it is best to cleanse that hate before attempting to start a new life.

Tellemall:
The reason is that as a Nigerian you have a weak approach to the rights and choices of others around you. There's this feeling of entitlement. It is the reason market traders feel it is their right to feel up any female passing their shops, because who are you? Are you made of gold? You aren't even attractive, so you should let them feel you up. The same reason a man goes to a club and touches a woman without her permission, then he gets others to support him because she's ugly and so what if he did.

What makes you think the driver has the right to be responded to politely when he is clearly failing in his ethics as a driver and as a right thinking individual? The lady said she was uninterested, why did he press on? She repeated again, her disinterest in his attempt, after his confession of sleepless nights over her, and he still pressed on!

Do you understand harassment? The problem is that in Nigeria people violate others privacy with impunity and feel it is their right. Outside that little hole, it is a crime and he is trespassing her right to be treated with professionalism. She didn't ask to be bugged after her trip, he decided to misuse her contact details to his unethical advantage of scoring. To make matters worse, when she refused he resorted to the moral high ground of inferiority complexes "are you looking down on me because I'm a driver?". He feels entitled. Why can't he look elsewhere?

With her information, imagine if he decided to threaten her rather than his oppressive love messages? How right would you think he is? That will give you the answer to how right it is to use her information without her permission. Forget all the "girls are rude" misinterpretations, what would you do if you were in her shoes?

Can you read, and how good are you in differential analysis?

How do my points suggest a sense of entitlement or match the images of men who feel up women in the guise of advertising their goods?

The detail was already in his hands; would it make any difference if he resigned his job, waited some months and rang her up pretending to have gotten her number by some other means?

And what do you mean by an advantage of scoring?

If you were in a court of law, how would you explain that a man who has misappropriated a personal detail has an advantage over the woman as regard sex? What is unethical in wooing a woman even if you only want to have sex with her consensually?

abbiboy:
Why? What are your
Ur reply was too myopic...wht u take as joke in this country is seriously frown at in other sane country.

This is the story of a woman who slept with 3 Uber drivers. Mind you, it happened in one of your so-called sane countries. The third Uber driver was actually the one who asked her out. She didn't make a big deal out of it.

Enjoy:

By this point, I’d developed something of a reputation amongst my friends, and it was this reputation that ended up scoring me my third Uber sex story.

I was with a group after a night out when we got into an Uber together to ride home. The driver was not exactly my type, but certainly cute.

We started talking and laughing, and one of my friends, who was a bit drunk, giggled and warned him to look out, as I’d slept with a few drivers.

He raised one eyebrow and said it wouldn’t be the worst way to end a shift.


After we dropped her off, he asked if I wanted to go out for coffee. I said while he seemed really nice, I wasn’t looking for anything serious, so I was only really only interested in a quick "coffee"
at mine.


Alll I can say is he might not have been my usual type, but I DID get to finally try something I’ve wanted to for a while – sex with a guy that could lift me up off the floor and keep going until I was done.
https://www.whimn.com.au/love/intimacy/ive-had-sex-with-three-of-my-uber-drivers/news-story/b8e2b6b13a32e897ba48b5e36634dae4