₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
I saw that thread ooo and the comments that followed had my eyes popping out of their sockets like this .

Male monikers were mostly the ones hailing that chic for 7 years of immoral cohabitation. One comment in particular knocked me out, a guy said that is the way to grow with a man .

I like to think I am not a judgmental person but that thread had me feeling all shades of wrong. I was really shocked by the comments and 663 likes the OP had on her post alone.

I kept thinking to myself, if nairalanders applaud and support that sort of lifestyle, why do they go crazy when the issue of homosexuality comes up? What drives them to think the fornicator or adulterer is any better than a homosexual? As far I am concerned we are all sexually immoral people, no category is better than the other......but I digress, so make I rest.

All are sexual sins which would land one in hell if they do not repent agreed.

However for homosexuality, it is against the natural order in addition to its sinfulness.

Even the Bible classifies it as an abomination.

Besides, fornication is solved when the parties get married; adultery - you tell the erring party to face his/her spouse.

What do you tell an homosexual?

Tripleoluwa:
Hey guys, this is my story. Kindly pay attention.

There is this lady in my hood. A fashion designer. I tried to date her 3 years ago but she didn't just have my time. So I moved on with my life and hustle. Then some times last year, she called me that she needed my car to move some of her belongings to her newly rented house. From there on, she started calling regularly and asking about my girlfriends. She no longer talks about her belongings.

The interest I had on her 3 years ago had evaporated. I would not call her for weeks but she was calling regularly. She would want to come to my house but I would decline. Even when I finally had her over, I soooooo much struggled to muster erection. My d**k was flaccid all through. The interest wasn't just there. Since I wont let her come to my house, she offered many times that I take her to an hotel and that she would pay. I stayed farther away from her because I was not just comfortable with that kind of stuff. No vibes whatsoever between us.

My sister then advised me that I'm not a child anymore. I'm 37. She said her husband wasn't the person she loved. So I called this lady and discussed with her that marriage for me is not now, that I can afford we have a child now and that is it! She will stay in her house while I stay in mine. She accepted without objection. Now she's pregnant. To even copulate with her is a problem. My erection is zero. I don't have erection problems and of course, I dey do normal normal with a girl I'm dating somewhere. The erection thing has been there since day one. She has complained that I don't touch her. It now appears like I'm selfish and wicked.

Has anyone found themselves in this kind of situation?

This thread no just follow.

According to you, your sister advised you to 'consider' the fashion designer despite your feelings which you did.

You now engaged the babe that you are fine with baby papaism however, you do not want marriage which she agreed to.

Now, she is pregnant like you planned. So what is the point of this thread?

Or have you started having feelings for her?

GboyegaD:
I no get power to fight so I wouldn't hit anyone be it male or female.

Let me come & look for your trouble

mariahAngel:
Your dad wasn't fair to you.
The least he could've done was to hear both sides, then decide who deserved what.

As in.

I am yet to see a system that guarantees fairness between sexes apart from Christianity.

Maryjane001:
In the society we live in, it is very common for women to report cases of being physically abused by men. From a rift between two strangers of opposite sexes to even the husband and wife in a home.

I have seen so many cases of men who hit women and see nothing wrong with it. Even some women like such men.
Most times, I noticed these set of guys cannot challenge their fellow men physically but would choose to hit women just because they feel women are weaker vessels.

Personally, I find everything wrong in hitting a woman. Although we ladies are blessed with bad mouth sometimes, I feel the worst you can do to her is leave immediately and not come back until the dust has settled. Leaving doesn't make you less of a man, hitting her does.

So guys, would you rather hit a woman if she offends you or not?
If yes, what exactly could warrant that?

@bold:

I was taking you seriously till the bold.

Condemning physical abuse while condoning verbal abuse is a joke.

McDuncan:
Starkly different from two generations down, this generation of fathers seem more bonded with their kids. And much more loved too. And the reasons seem simple enough --- they seem much more fun and funky!

While especially the last two generations of fathers had a more strict and military style approach in dealing and relating with their kids, today's fathers seem to approach child bonding on a completely different angle.

While some mothers seem to nag and scold their kids a lot due to added stress from work/career, some of today's fathers are seen by their kids as a buffer zone, a safe and cool spot to escape mom's constant rebukes.

With the evolution of smartphone and virtual gaming and physical sports which are traditionally men's turf, kids are discovering how fun and cool daddy can be when he introduces them to some hands-on gaming experience and some other physical exploration children are known to enjoy.

Who knows, we might as well count it as a positive from the gender equality campaign, since most mothers these days would rather mix career and child raising, giving fathers of today more time to bond with their children. And with that, it can be said that the age-long antics of mothers using their children as weapon against the father in marital dispute is gradually declining -- sadly though not for lack of intent but for lack of opportunity.

Despite the tongue-in-cheek last paragraph, your thread highlights what has been said over time:

If men want to enjoy their families in old age, they need to build the bond while young.

Ishilove:
Oh, it has EVERYTHING to do with this thread. You seem very opinionated about how a man should handle his marital affairs, so one should expect you are speaking from a position of practical experience.

Practical experience.

We4all:
I have a bad feeling about legally married couples who club together. In my opinion, no responsible man would want to take his wife to a rowdy night club full of miscreants.

Totally agree with you.

I am honestly yet to understand what gives people hope that the bad things they saw during Due Diligence stage (courting) would disappear after acquisition & mergers (marriage).

It is either you endure/ignore her unfaithfulness, join her by contacting your own ex or leave her.

Good luck in any of your choices.

P.S.: Choosing the 2nd or 3rd choices when you knew she had this thing going with her ex before marriage is making a mockery of your marriage vows.

Good thing the madam has been apprehended.

I hope they treat the case with the seriousness it deserves.

This sounds like a tragic comedy.

A pastor wants to 'punish' you by stripping you naked and you still returned to the church

Please arrest the pastor, and lock the woman up in a mental facility.

Even this joker that knows he doesn't stand a chance is dragging with Peter Obi whom all SE should align with.

Don't Igbos have elders who can call these their sons to order

Should an Igbo man even be thinking of dragging the flag with Peter Obi?

Na wa o!

Delegates; zero, now this?

chatinent:
Sadly, there are very many guys who dress like this in our day and it's called normal. Guys with piercings, locked hairs, tattoo or anything to copy the western culture.

Maybe you lost it from allowing them to suffer for their needs. Now, they feel they are alone in the world and are men.

Parents need to train a child not allowing them train themselves because the day you sell your responsibility to them, you sell your full responsibility.

@bold:

Actually the genesis of the problem.

splashbaby:
They had over 250 delegates from the East and Rochas got zero vote... Igbos are just clowns.

Let's say Rochas is not good. What about the Ebonyi state Governor?

They couldn't rally behind him and give him 200 to show their seriousness?

Modified: I just saw somewhere that the SE delegates were about 325.

Rochas = 0, Onu = 2.

If SE delegates don't believe in their brothers, why should we?

vanunu:
Shataap, which bridge have Rochas and Orji uzo have not built, do you know that Rochas has many schools in Northern Nigeria where thousands of students attend free of charge, without paying one naira.
The fact remains that Nigeria hate the Igbos with passion, the same way Europeans hated the Jews for centuries,
Nigeria faught a genocidal war against the Igbos in which they killed 3 million Igbos in less than 3 years without remorse, the atrocities committed by Boko Haram and Fulani bandits is a child's play to the atrocities committed by Nigerians against Igbo people.

No state outside the south east except plateau state has ever voted for an Igbo man in a general election before. So even in the next one hundred years, no Igbo can emerge in the primary of any major political party, the hatred is real.

It is this victimhood mentality that keeps people from critical thinking.

People hate the SE, so they don't vote for them bla bla bla.

In the just concluded primaries in APC and PDP, did the SE delegates vote for the SE contestants??

Now look at this foolish article. Instead of them to project Peter Obi in LP and galvanize SE and SS to vote him emass, they are ranting about APC and PDP.

If you followed the APC Primaries and think anyone is going to hand anyone anything on a platter, then you are more hilarious than I thought.

You guys better go back to the drawing board and get your acts together towards 2027.

Start by calling out the delegates who sold you out.

RedScorpion:
Labour Party have given their mandate to Peter Obi...

Let's see how many Igbo people that will vote for Obi...

The Problem of the South East is the South East...

Why did the statement not say anything about Peter Obi's emergence as the flag bearer of the labour Party and that the South East should Unite and vote for him in their number ?

Has Peter Obi offended them ?

You dey mind them?

Shebi 2023 is here, let's see how Peter Obi would fare in SE.

EmekaBlue:
Biafra fit happen soon

Its not a bad thing. Even China have Hongkong and Taiwan.

North can tame Igbos forever unto power of government since Yoruba refuse to support and prefer to suffer with the north than to see i guess a proud igbo man as leader

Abeg! Don't drag Yorubas into your mess.

Your delegates in PDP and APC couldn't even vote your brothers. Even if they did not win, they would have the respect that their delegates showed up for them.

Go and put your house in order first.

Mumusaphire:
Hmmmm. But sentiment aside, is it only south west and north we have in this country? When they are arranging this from d beginning, it should have been to south east. Obasanjo spent 8 years, yaradua, 3 years, Jonathan, 5 years, buhari is about to spend 8 years, so why not allow IBO also to be president. I know if they can be allow to rule us, Nigeria can be a better place. Let forget about media lies and focus on reality. Media are doing a lot of damages in this country than good when they knew if they posted fake news about someone, nothing will happen. How many times u hear about about northern elite on media? They know how to play it under G. But everytime, they painting other region bad. Before u come to my mention, let me remind u that, ómó Yòrubaà àtààtà nì mí.... God bless Nigeria

See mouth like allow Igbo to the president.

The people who won the primaries in APC and PDP are sleeping abi? Or they just coasted to win.

Even their delegates do not want it.

londonerr:
what happened to the SE delegates in both APC and PDP. Asking for a friend.

As in!

I really took Igbo presidency seriously. Alas! They are not even serious themselves.

Imagine Rochas with no vote (also he ranted in Hausa, I don't know what he was trying to achieve sha); was he the worst aspirant? What about the current Ebonyi state Gov? All the SE delegates couldn't rally round him?

See the woman who came out to say Nigeria needs a mother then proceeds to step down for a Yoruba father.

Let's go to PDP, what happened during their primaries?

Their most viable son left PDP and went to a party without structure. If the people are like their delegates, they wouldn't vote him.

Na we dey carry Igbo presidency on head like gala, they are neither ready nor interested.

When next they rant online, make we just share the primaries result give them

killmods:
As him wife dey show am pepper nkor

Naaaa!

He is the one showing her pepper

cococandy:
Some things are stated more than once in the Bible albeit in different contexts. In the genesis context, it’s a curse on Eve directly from the mouth of God

I’m also familiar with the verses you stated above.

My point is that submission in Ephesians 5 has nothing to do with the curse in Genesis 3.

The curse can also manifest in two ways:
1. A woman turning her husband/man to her god;
2. A husband ruling his wife instead of leading her.

One of the examples of the manifestation of that curse is the story of Leah (Jacob's first wife).

She kept giving birth to gain the husband's love till her fourth son when she decided to focus on God.

There are several examples of couples in the old testament and in their interactions, you never see their husbands rule over them.

That's because both the husbands & wives knew/had an idea of God.

A good example of the submission is in Philippians 2 where Paul gave an example in Jesus Christ.

Mariangeles:
I usually do, but for the sake of those who do not know better.

I think it is important to sometimes.

cococandy:
1. My agreement with you is based mostly on the issue of Eve’s submission (aka being ruled over by Adam) which is verbatim in the Bible as a curse.

But marriage in general he stated is of this world not necessarily that marriage is cursed. Just simply put, being married isn’t a Christian requirement.

As for your last paragraph, hmm. I guess we can apply that to the reason why some priests and nuns stay away from marriage to better serve God. Interesting

1. Submission has absolutely nothing to do with the curse in Gen 3. Submission is a directive in the new testament to complement the husband's commandment which is loving his wife. Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit one to another. A school of thought says Paul was talking to the Church generally; another school says Paul was talking to couples. Either ways, it is clear that submission is not a curse.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I purposely skipped the post. He simply wrote a post on how women should handle men. Perhaps, he didn't understand what the topic meant.

Maybe.

DonroxyII:
There are alot of Mathematics in Between these "Loves and "Submissions" which we all failed to Address in Present Society. I believe the mathematics in Between are the causes of Marital Failures:

Love involves the one to be loved to attract that Love:

Submissions Don't just Happen, You must be worthy of That Submissions:

Overall, Marriage needs God to Survive in this Dispensations:

Nicely put.

Mindlog:
A man who is the shepherd and spiritual head of his home, messes things up because of his lack of self-control and when the repercussions sets in, many would not take responsibility but would accuse their wives of turning their children against him.....same children that observed his indiscretions.

100%

Law of harvest can't be mocked:

Whatever anyone sows, they would reap.

What is this?

UyaiIncomparabl:
He should be a male going by the tone of his post.

I can imagine how his marriage is/how his wife really feels.

The thread says: share what advise YOU would give YOUR younger self about marriage from your experience.

Baba wrote a 10 pager advise to women.

What lesson has he learnt for himself in his marriage?

What has he learnt for himself to become a better husband?

Durabest:
I have been married for six years now with two beautiful Childre.My advice would be that,1:Don,t be disperate to go into marriage,2: Don,t pretend to be what you are not in order to win a man's heart.3:When your guy friends are around him do not join their conversation when you are not invited even when they are talking about your village people joining a conversation you are not invited will devalue your guy,4:Try to knw when your guy is needt of food don,t always wait 4 him to ask b4 you serve him food.5:If you don't love a man,don't go into marriage with him.6:always be truthful don't ever belive a lie can gurantee you marriage.7:don't hide what you hate and don't hate what he love most just show litle advice if u don't like it.8: don't go into marriage with man who don't love you.9:When a man tells you things that he hates and asked you to stop doing those things he detest don't dare him.10: Be humble.11:don,t always feel without you he can't sx so there4 you will give him sx when you feel like.

Are you male or female?

Twoodds:
Must u add cute ? Kind u say may land Lords son... Sometimes nits very easy to identify a potential ashawo with their words

Calling someone cute is a sign of ashawo?

The women in your family don't compliment their men/potential men?

BoredBerry:
Well... Thanks... But I'm not... There are lots of guys... I can only have sex with someone I really like... So let's see it this relationship works...

Which relationship?

Has your cute landlord's son asked you out?

Have you said yes?

Or are you just interested in a sexual relationship?

If you have enough self+awareness to know that you can only have sex with someone you like, I would honestly advise you to zip up till you are in a meaningful relationship so you don't feel disillusioned after sex (I assume you are a virgin).

Till then, continue to masturbate in peace OR find activities to burn the sexual urges.

BoredBerry:
He's a meal I wanna eat...

I don't want a serious relationship... I just really like him...

Besides I'm 19... Ain't getting married anytime soon... Never want to... So my relationships don't lead anywhere...

Interesting.