₦airaland Forum

Congratulations ma'am

You have really done well.

Everywhere with their brand of madness.

angelfallz:
@bolded,
Do you seriously trust Nigerian polls, with all the rigging?

Obviously, I don't

Peter Obi should have been Atiku's running mate again with Peter as the economic adviser.

He shines well and in 2027, they slot him in as the president.

SE doesn't have the numbers to win a major contest; piggybacking on Atiku's numbers is the easiest way to attain his goal.

Considering that the PDP primaries couldn't show us that the Igbos are serious and hungry for presidency, it would be super interesting to see how Peter Obi performs at the polls under Labour Party.

tiffanyfan:
If he did not love Annie, he won't marry her legally. Having kids for a man does not mean he loves you....we all know how to hook a man with pregnancy expecially when the clock is ticking. If you like have ten children for him...his heart will forever love who he love

A man marrying a woman legally means he loves her?

I laugh in Japanese.

I see why your husband had the guts to do what he did:

In all your concern, you are worried what he did wrong.

Not that fact he is cheating, disrespectful, inconsiderate, unyielding or plain stupid.

Ma, you are wrong, next time, cook it.

After watching their reality TV show, only two people need to leave Annie alone:

1. Herself: she got into the marriage with both eyes opened. There was nothing hidden about 2Baba and saying yes means she is/was fine with all the shenanigans and Baggage 2Baba brought to the table. If a man did not respect you at the courtship stage when it was easier to lose you, why do you think he would respect you more in marriage?

2. 2Baba: Sir, I put it to you that you are tormenting her. You know her insecurities and her very low self-esteem and you play on that all the time and turn around to say 'what did I do'?. You like mind games alot and you have found the perfect victim.

Las las, na Annie go deliver herself:

Through divorce or totally ignoring your existence.

As it stands, none looks feasible YET.

This must be a Nollywood script!

While the wife would not be blameless, his story already indicts him:

1. You did not see your wife after a working trip and you mail her; not call, ask friends, call her parents, call your parents, text message, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook etc. A mail?

2. You finally reach her via mail and your concern isn't why she left the marriage, it is why she took 4 days to get to Enugu. Does it mean that if she got to Enugu same day, you are fine?

3. Your wife denies you sex and later claims that an STI caused a miscarriage. All you were concerned about was exonerating yourself. You are not even ashamed to say you didn't ask why she had the miscarriage. Seriously?! Your WIFE had a miscarriage and you don't even care?

4. Your wife accused you of raping/attempting to rape her daughter and yet you ask for custody? Are you that clueless or you think you are acting a soap? Same girl you stopped sending 'chop money' for because her mother accused you?

No iota of love, care, or thoughtfulness towards your wife.

Why did you marry her sef?

And to think you carried yourself like someone who has sense.

Ashe it was just acting.

@wife: I don't believe the accusation of alleged rape. If it were true, she would either be online or present evidence to stop him from getting custody.

Aboks:
Wonders shall never end

Perfect summary for the thread.

Hafizah:
Those who are married and you think are happy, are obviously sad and pretending, while those who are single are praying for a spouse. My greatest fear is to be in an unhappy marriage. Are their still genuine marriages and good men

As a wo(man) thinketh in his heart, so he/ she is.

If you think married people who appear happy are lying, why would you think your marriage would be any better?

Even if you have a 'good man', your beliefs would sabotage the relationship in a self fulfilling prophecy.

Work on your mindset first.

Loveisnotenough:
Thanks a lot. I even had to ask her why she wants me to leave but she couldn't convince me enough, why will my mother be in charge of where my company will be? What stake does she have at the company....it's just crazy out here.

Why did you establish the new connection to her?

Why did the wife agree to let her BIL's girlfriend join them?

Girlfriend of swatter: it is complete lack of self worth to do such. I am pressed to ask: where are her parents or anyone she is accountable to

I don't blame the BIL much; not everyone has sense and decorum. If he did and/or received the training his parent gave him, he wouldn't have the guts to bring his girlfriend into the equation.

Since he does not have sense, the wife should have set him straight.

@OP: You & your BIL have same stake in the apartment. Either endure or go back to your parents' house.

The only thing to report is the guy bringing the girl in the first place. Since he has the permission to do so, there is little else that can be done.

Chai!

Going through the thread and seeing my short hand because of my phone back then.

Thank God I a NLer corrected me.

@OP:

Going through the post again, I will tell her to just quit the marriage.

If it was the first thing that popped in her head, then the man is just an option to her.

sweetman2022:
I don't need to ask you what you are bringing to the table since I won't approach you and marry you immediately. As I am getting to know you, I should know if you have something you are bringing to the table. So once I see you have nothing to bring, I discard you and move to the next one.
So the more time you spend with your bf/gf, you should know if they have something to offer or empty pussy or dick.
No need to waste your time asking such question, except you aren't smart yourself.

Absolutely on point!

Vyolet:
I don’t believe there is anything like Alphamale, every man is a gamma to a particular woman or man in a situation whereby he is gay.

We have gotten to Gamma?

Vyolet:
Nice one OP


…as much as i see this silly question online always, it is surprising that I have never seen or heard any one ask such question in real life.
The people in real life must be from pluto..

Not mars anymore?

Favfables1:
I have a feeling you'll figure out a way ....
I'll be waiting ...

That your feeling is not reaching this side.

That post is too long and I would need to open my laptop

Mbok rework so I can respond on my phone.

angelfallz:
This is interesting. I also agree with you. The question is silly. Over time, while dating, the man should be able to discern what the woman is bringing to the table, and decide if what she brings, is enough for him. The woman, also, should be able to over time, discern what the man is bringing to the table, and decide if what he brings is enough for her.

True

ZIMDRILL:
outside money or wealth

she gives you kids/ you give each other kids

she is a friend/wife to share a life with comfort, even a status in society

Nice one amongst many others.

So why are you only talking about monetary resources in your post?

Lovely!

Welcome home

I imagine the experiences

Make I start with boat cruise fesss.

This life, I must tour and do all sorts of adventure by God's grace and blessings.

@Talentempire:

Please tell the wife asap so she can determine the next steps quickly.

There is nothing to salvage in the marriage and the wife must be smart else her husband & his concubine might kill her if desperate.

She should also explore having her kids back to Nigeria.

Barrister026:
it's so annoying children of nowadays thinks because they got baby mamas up and down they got no respect for their elders, infact once they notice you haven't had a child yet no matter how old you are. they start looking at you like their age mates or even older than.

my kid bro who i single handledly passed down wears to back then has the audacity to talk to me anyhow just because he his a father of a 5year old boy and another one its on the way. well that's how he's been reason he toke a lot of beatings from me back in the days... the recent happenings happened this morning after so many years, I came home for a very close relative burial same with our eldest bro whose in his mid 30s. discussion we having one thing lent to another... this kid bro of mine flared up shouting at the top of his voice to my elder bro...mom telling him to shut up he's still talking...I immediately pounce on him in the presence of his wife and kid, I gave him the beating of his life, squeezed that his lip he was using to insult our eldest bro, not minding his wife watching.

yes I'm angry with him, the day his wife gave birth out of wedlock, he was jubilating that he the last born first us to give our parent's a grand child. I say see this one, if I wanted to have kids I would have, how many ladies has tried to trap pregnancy on me all through this year's. it's just man not yet ready yet, and been married don't Just freak me yet.

mom been gingering me to apologise to him, but I refused? why would I.

yes I was wrong for beating him in the presence of his pregnant wife and kid, I didn't mean to embarrass him...I felt bad myself after the whole thing.. but before he was a husband he was first my kid bro.


Seun
lalasticlala

If you feel bad, apologize especially for beating him up in front of his family.

P. S.: If he has proven to be disrespectful over time, the rest of you should alienate him.

That would pass the message that his disrespect would not be tolerated.

A nice sad twist to the story.

May God help us all.

TforT19:
I do it because I want to keep him. Thanks a lot for your advice. I really appreciate.

You mean you initiate sex with your disinterested husband because you want to keep him (stop him from committing adultery)?

Did he ever cheat on you during courtship?

Where is the urge to 'keep him' coming from?

Do you have kids?

Do you work/earn money?

TforT19:
My husband and I are married for 4years now and God as really helped us but I am the one who initiate sex most of the time and it often makes me feel unwanted because he sometimes turn me down and it hurts �.
I am always on sexy bumshort, trousers e.t.c yet my guy go lock up.
Recently I found out that he's been cheating on me and it's really getting at me because I have never for once denied him of sex.
But however I am managing the whole situation so it doesn't scatter my home.
But I really want to seek advice
1. should I stop making advancement or initiating sex maybe that will make him wants me.
2. I also want to ask if initiating sex all the time as a woman is okay or I should stop for now.
3. Lastly if a man gets steady love, care, sex, good food and attention home. why then does he cheat?

Guys please kindly advise me on what to do.

1. In my experience (personal, others, movies, stories, teachings etc), the sex drive of men is 'dominant' than women. That means they initiate/want sex more often than their women. When they love her and/or find her attractive, they are more interested expressing that through sex. When your man is not forthcoming sexually, it is one of some things:
a. You repulse him or he hates you;
b. He is sexually unattracted to you;
c. He has low libido;
d. He is broke/bothered about something;
e. He has a disease he doesn't want to pass to you;
f. He is gay; etc.

2. Stop initiating sex if you don't feel like having it. Initiating sex all the time without him showing desire in you or initiating sometimes could take a hit on your self worth and you begin to wonder what's wrong with you. Instead of initiating, you can passively seduce him by dressing up in a suggestive manner.

3. Because he wants to/he can. Also note that your definition of his needs might not be his; your definition of good food/sex/care bla bla bla might also defer from his.

A better approach than your questions (just answered them) is to hold him accountable for:
1. His disinterest in you sexually
2. the adultery especially if you want to continue the marriage.

Ask him why he cheated and create your boundaries. Would you walk out a second time? Is adultery a deal breaker for you? Is your grouse the adultery or the fact you found out? Or that he is not interested in you while sleeping with someone else? Do you unconsciously believe all men are adulterous and just want compensation?

You need to be truthful to yourself and know what you want.

Also consider STD(I)s and explore stopping sex or getting him to use protection.

Sonnobax15:

Imagine women taking up the mantle,thereby indirectly relegating men to league two..

Interesting perspective

Politics is a game of numbers, muscle, money, influence etc etc.

It has nothing to do with relegating men or women (if a man won). If the men who contested with her played the game better, they would have won.

Hopefully, this was just a wandering thought.

Nonexisting:
He is not into legit deals so I suggest you free him. No legit hustler will humiliate you in that manner. He is suffering in the inside and envies you that know nothing about what he passes through. Look for a legit hustle bro and be your own man.

Gbam!

MrOjay1:
My younger cousin is what you will regard as a typical big boy.He drives a good car and is living large.

We haven't been in contact for a long while so I decided to get his number and call him to catch up on old times. I really wanted him to put me through his line of work so I could solve my personal issues. He invited me over to his place and I stayed there for 3 days.

Omo after the first day there,he gave me his clothes to help him wash and instructed me to clean his flat.Hmmm I did it o

He came back with his woman and didn't even mutter as much as a thank you.

He even told her I was one of those his family members 'wey no get levels'.He said it in a very spiteful and disregarding manner.This na person I senior o and he do visit us then when he was little.

I was a little pissed at that descrption and he noticed it.there are other humiliating stuff that happened that day but I don't really have strength for typing.He was just using me to shine in front of the girl.

Before I left,he told me I will need to humble myself before him unless nothing for me.

I'm thinking of going back there to apologise to him for being pissed at him.

How do you guys see it?

I really need his percuniary support to solve my personal issues.

If you have any iota of self-respect, you will move on to the next way to solve your 'personal issues'.

Menh:
I wish to secure Sales and Business Development jobs in the Oil and Gas industry.

I'm currently running my MBA Marketing, and I posses BSc. International Studies.

I'm a Member of the Nigerian Institute of Management Chartered and planning to take my Certification from the National Institute of Marketing Nigeria next year.

Also, I posses Health Safety & Environmental Management certifications from the British International Safety Organisation.

Diploma in French Language from the Ministry of Education - France.

What other qualifications do I require to enable me secure a job Marketing job in the Oil and Gas industry?



Thanks

Go to any Oil & Gas company's website and study the requirements for the role you seek.

That would be a guide to what is required.

Also, you need to try your hands on something so you have a bit of experience.

You can also explore related organizations whose competition isn't as stiff as Oil & Gas (Oil &Gas Servicing Firms, Gencos & Discos, Gas Distribution Firms etc.). This would give you relevant experience that would aid your goal.

Good luck.

Especially the agberos

The baby DOES look like OBJ.

MIGHT just be a coincidence.

Major7:
It was their fault that they opened their legs without being married to him.

1. Teach your children in the way of the Lord and when they grow up, they would not depart from it.

Interesting point.

So which child(Ren) were not taught the way of the Lord according to your post?