₦airaland Forum

jeff1607:
First of all how often do you guys pump water and are the water tanks separated? My guess is your constant washing makes the tank empty.

Got one like that , we all wash ours from the tank that supplies our apartments water but this guy would leave his own and use ours and he wouldn’t pay for utility bill or contribute in filling the gen with fuel

@bold:

Interesting perspective.

DesChyko:
Just smile one second and focus on what you're doing the next second. At least you weren't rude but in the same vein, you don't have time for that bullshit.

If he doesn't stop the snide remarks, that means he lacks the mental capacity to understand your disinterest.

In that case you need to ignore him as you would ignore mad men who throw thoughtless words your way.

Lovely post especially the bold

Toolady:
Permit me to go into details.
pls I need mature response
After my NYSC last year, my cousin brother invited me to come stay with him so he could look for a job for me or try fix me somewhere.

I was grateful and moved over to stay with him, due to the new environment I didn't know anyone and he was the only friend I had, we talk and do almost everything siblings could do together, earlier January he had a girlfriend and I was happy as she became the second friend I had in this new state, in fact my friendship with her was even closer than that of my brother.
But later along the line the closeness between I and my brother wasn't as it was again, I come back home in the evening and most times I don't see him and began missing his presence.

This isn't even the problem, the problem is that I subconsciously started seeing his girlfriend as my rival which I wasn't suppose to.
2days ago, I prepared a meal for us but he didn't come back home and I ate it alone, I came back home yesterday and found out the pot of soup is gone and pot was washed clean, I was sure he has eaten, so when he came back, he told me he came with her in the afternoon and they ate, I quickly flared up and talked to him in a tone I wasn't suppose to, his girlfriend tried to calm me down and I told her to mind her business as this is family issue, she felt bad and left the house, came back hours later with groceries, cooked meal and left, that's was when it occurred to me that I haven't been good to her and made my emotions got the better of me, I tried to apologize to my brother but i still feel so bad and really don't know how to approach his girlfriend and apologize, I was sure I can't loose my brothers friendship, but I also don't wish for any bad relationship between I and his girlfriend due to my emotions

please I just need mature advice, that's why I bought it to family section

Mods please I don't need this on FP, I just want to make it less public

I applaud the fact you are self-aware to know your behavior & feelings are wrong and you seek to correct them.

You are too possessive of your cousin because of one or more reasons:
1.He is the only friend you have;
2. You are naturally possessive in love e.g. my bestfriend must only be friends with me/ my boyfriend must like only me/my roommate must not smile with someone else etc.
3. You are naturally jealous in love; similar to the above
4. You build your world around the person/people in your life i.e. you can't entertain yourself or get a life outside the person.

Do a deep retrospection and decipher the cause of the animosity you feel towards your cousin's girlfriend among the reasons above and others I did not mention.

Also get new hobbies and make new friends. If your town is safe and you have the means, you can also google up tourist attractions around you and visit.

Also apologize to your cousin's girlfriend and control yourself whenever the animosity arises again.

P.S.: What's with cousin's sister & cousin's brother I see a lot on this forum?

Relationships are derived from the parents and not the offsprings. So, whatever relationship is derived through a parent applies to all their offsprings.

Looks clumsy, would make good memories

They should take a nice picture and frame it.

Towma:
Hubby doesn't want to deprive himself, I am the one bearing burden of the management. I didn't even want to mention that part, for example he must always eat goat meat and Plantain when eating rice, he does not like garri swallow. Only Semo and pounded yam. Infact let me not go there.

What is the model of your finances?

TheGidRedpiller:
Search And Follow @TheGidRedpiller On Twitter ASAP!!

You know, when we shade simps or more verbally put, NICE GUYS, people just thing we are being mean or we are just competing to feel superior, but the funny thing is that we are actually just trying to look out for these blind men in the best way that we can! We are men, thats what we do!

Why would you let a train run you over, get you to the hospital, only for you to get well and the first thing you want to do is recommend that same train to take you home from the hospital
One thing simps do not seem to understand is that they will always be under every other person in the society, nothing good ever comes to them, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

As a good guy, you will never get what you deserve from women, the only thing that comes to you from them are LEFTOVERS. Permit me to add that most married men today are SIMPS! Your wife took you because you were the idi0t willing to accept SCRAPS!
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdG9TsYXYAE8Df_.jpg

A simple solution is for the young good man to get his good girl young.

And leave the bad people for themselves

Funny OP overall.

I haven't seen a system that can ensure all marriage responsibilities apart from money can be split 50:50.

The closest system that mimicks equality of responsibility in marriage is:

A sole provider male who does the male chores + a full housewife.

The resources that drive a marriage are time & money.

For me, the major frustration of the 50:50 model (financially since the wife would still take up the traditional home making role) is the time.

Candidlady:
Wear your helmet .... They are coming for your head!!


Although iam down with 50 50... Don't want no one telling me Ididn't bring Nada to the table!!!

@second paragraph:

A better approach would be not to marry a man whom you feel compelled to split the bills 50:50 with to prove your worth.

safarigirl:
Lol


There are too many women that go out everyday without make-up for this to be a valid question

Who brought it to Front Page? Una dey shame me

@bold:

100% on point.

Next question is if women can do without jewelry

The Christian leaders in the North ought to rise up.

This wickedness cannot continue unabated.

Congratulations!!!!!

Igi iwe, Eso first class

Datboredberry:
I'm not introverted... I'm an extrovert... Who's been kept indoors by her family...

Values... You know

If you go out to parties or smoke... Then you're wayward... Etc...

How do you know you are extroverted if you have been indoors?

What do you think you are missing outside/ what are your parents stopping you from doing?

SlyDev:
An igbo man will see a 14years old girl, feel sexually attracted to her, then start sending her gift, send her to school with the aim of marrying her, he may even decide to exploit her sexually during this period. When you challenge this people, they will say it is their culture


How are you different from Hausa in the North

You compare the above with kidnapping a girl, forcefully converting her religion and marrying her?

descarado:
Happy new year my dear. Glad it's just work

Man gat to survive na
We are fine, thanks.

I have registered on Soompi & subscribed to Viki

odinson1:
A Good girl is a Wife material
A bad girl is a PROSTITUTE.

They won't teach you that in college

A good girl who has developed herself in the place of marriage is a good wife material to a good man.

bibianna:
Nope!

They'll always be at the forefront no matter what!

Forefront of what?

Datboredberry:
I'll be me too...

I smoke... Drink... Flirt (if I'm single)... Love going out...

I'm not bad... I've been indoors my entire life... God knows I deserve to have a little fun...

I'll marry someone who has a good heart but is a psycho too...

Indoors & fun are not mutually exclusive.

Indoors also doesn't mean good: it means you are an introvert while outdoors doesn't mean bad.

A serial killer or a fraudster can be introverted.

A good hearted psycho is still a psycho.

siofra:


I'll be a bad bitch.

Interesting.

Why?

AfroKnight:
So you sabi bible like this. I thought you’re backslider like us. What a betrayed!

E bi like say you dey mistake me for someone else

Cooolme:
Sorry I don't do shady stuff, things y'all overlook make people millionaires. What I meant by business is that I want to have a physical investment, whatever income I get currently is directly online and I need more, it's simple.
Thanks for the advice tho.

What do you do online?

Happy new year NL peeps

I have come again

So Stargurls20's thread https://www.nairaland.com/7035387/there-really-point-gain-being inspired this. I wrote an article surrounding this topic last year upon inflection which I lost at the end of the year 2021.

This response would be have a religious flavor (so non-religious peeps can move on now).

So 'Do good girls carry last?'

It is a very popular saying that 'good girls carry last', 'bad girls get better husbands' yada yada yada that I would be looking at the 'good girlhood' across areas of concern. I would also be dispelling the myth that 'being good would get you good things' which is wahat our parents taught us.

I would be defining a good girl as a girl who doesn't drink alcohol, smoke, party, flirt/sleep about etc.

1. Marriage: This is the koko why girls are told to be 'good'. We also hear that men play with 'bad girls' and marry 'good girls' as a reward for the goodness. Interestingly, when people talk of men marrying good girls, they are referring to the benefits the good girls bring to the life of the men. The man are not marrying the good girl because he wants to 'reward' her for being good. The question the 'good girl' doesn't ask is if the man who wants her is worthy of her. I wrote a thread about that https://www.nairaland.com/5741247/does-he-want-does-he Anyone can want anything, the question is 'do they deserve what they want'?

Then you have the case of men claiming that 'they use bad girls and reserve the good girls for marriage'. I am pleased to announce that birds of the same feather flock together: if you deem a 'bad girl' worthy of sleeping with, you are the same with her.

1 Cor 6:16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”

Amos 3:3 Can two wlalk together except they be agreed?

So bad boy, carry on with your bad girls

Dear good girl, have you prepared yourself to be a good wife? have you learnt how to choose a good man? If no, your goodness will not get you a 'good husband' aka wealthy husband in the abroad. It is also amusing that the definition of a 'good' husband in this context is 'wealthy husband in the abroad' No good husband in Nigeria again?


2. Wealth: Nobody gets a job or promotion because they are good (except at their job). You get promoted because you have what it takes (skills, politics, emotional intelligence, clout, certification, lenght of employment etc) to move to the next level in line with your company's ethics. Bibilically, the passages that talk about wealth/promotion talk about diligence and blessing the work of your hands. Meaning that if a 'bad girl' does her job/business well, she would most likely do well.

The only direct reward for a 'good girl' (more specifically holiness) is heaven. We should be good (holy) girls because Mark 8: 36 says For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? This means that you can make it on earth (without being good) however, you wouldn't make heaven which would be a tragedy.

We also have Karma waiting to pay people back for their deeds now or in future.

In summary my dearest good girl:
> if you want a good relationship/marriage: study the principles of marriage/choosing a spouse and follow it. Also back it up with prayers.
> if you want to make money/grow at work: study the principles of wealth/promotion and follow it.

See being a good girl as having good character which is a good base to build for whatever thing you want.

Two hymns capture this well:

Stanza three of Count your Blessings by Johnson Oatman
3 When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings, money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
https://hymnary.org/text/when_upon_lifes_billows_you_are_tempest

Also Be glad in the Lord and Rejoice:
1 Be glad in the Lord and rejoice,
All ye that are upright in heart;
And ye that have made him your choice,
Bid sadness and sorrow depart.

2 What though in the conflict for right
Your enemies almost prevail,
God’s armies, just hid from your sight,
Are more than the foes which assail.
https://hymnary.org/text/be_glad_in_the_lord_and_rejoice_all_ye


A note to parents: Please let's stop our kids that a person who smokes, drinks etc. etc. would not do well in life. It is an archaic mentality which lures some of them into such life when they see their friends/mates engage in such and 'do well'.

I have colleagues who do these vices including sleeping around who are very good at what they do and get rewarded (financially) for it. Other aspects of their lives is not included because we rarely refer to people's spiritual, emotional, physical or mental health when we start these lectures.

Life also happens to everyone so when life hits a 'good person' after hearing all her/his life that 'be good so that bad things don't happen', they become discouraged and wonder why 'they were good all the while'.

Let us teach our kids to be 'good' because that is the right thing to do.

Which 'God' kwanu?

angelfallz:
Yaaay!! you are back.
Nah your "happy new year" is well received
Yes this first has been great
Welcome back

Thanks a lot

The rest of the year would even be greater by God's grace.

Cooolme:
Web and so much more

This your million dollar business that has no definition...

It has changed from business man to web and more.

You did better jawo from all sorts of shady stuffs and stop running faster than your shadow.

You have a long time to succeed, don'y ruin it with trickles today.

tayo60:
Paying your parents rent of over700k, when they are supposed to be living in their own house. When will they continue to pay rent? Instead of using d money for something people will question its source because of your age, why not get a land and develop it first, then move your parents in. Then continue to hustle. Just don't go into internet frauding o.

Should a 20 year old be building house for his parents?

What kind of pressure is that?

Should responsible parents move into a home their 20 year old built?

And you end with 'don't just go into internet fraud' so we can say you have advised him.

MossLuv:
I met this girl through a relation 4years ago. She was under graduate then, l always visited her in school and chatted mostly on Sundays after church due to my work. To cut the long story short. She started showing attitude when she was about to graduate and eventually we break up... according to her, her people are not in support. She graduated, served (NYSC) and came back, no calls no chat for over two years then one faithful day around may last year she chatted me up. We became serious again... Honestly I love the girl so much and I want marry her. I wanted to do it traditional this Easter but she insisted on church wedding and I have only budget 500k for my marriage. Ok. She always come visiting, kiss and do the fowl play but no sex; she insisted on no sex before marriage. But on 15 February we did it and unfortunately she miss her period, both of us became worried... I bought test tube for her she did the test and told me it's negative meanwhile it was positive. I was very happy to hear that it was negative. On Thursday she promised to come house so that we can discuss about the marriage but she suddenly change her mind and told me something came up... To my greatest surprise, she told me yesterday that she was actually pregnant and she took drug and blood came out just once. Please my fellow nairaland family, can I still go ahead and marry her? She has been begging since yesterday but am confused I don't know what to do. She's a good girl but this singular act is scaring!! Please pardon my English.

@bold:

What makes her a good girl?

I don't think marriage should be your concern in this situationship.

Build a relationship first.

She has done well for herself.

Keep it up ma'am.

What is the younger sister punishing her elder sister (the wife) for?

Spiritual Mummy's Daughter kwa?

I have missed NL

Daddy, congratulations sir.

God will contiunally keep our families, amen.

How did the woman let that man touch her?

He looks very disgusting