₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
My sister, that is the kind of society we live in. Women are held to higher accountability than men.

Guy B seems to be a more reliable person than the absentee preek sharer, and at the end of the day what we need in our lives is stability and someone who will give us peace of mind. From what the OP said, the ex wife packed off when the guy had financial challenges and she has probably moved on with her life with some other unfortunate sod, so I don't know where the drama will come in.

@OP:

Nope; women chose less for themselves.

Nobody forced the lady to consider a divorcee as young and fresh as she is.

Foodqueen:
You have your problems too.

How can u fall in love with guy b when u were still dating guy a.

And remain in love with Guy A?

@mexxy1:

You did not diagnose the girl's problem properly:

She has low self esteem and no ambition/dream for an ideal marriage.If she did, she won't:
1. Continue a relationship with a cheat;
2. Double Date & think she has a moral stance to judge Guy A
3. Be 'in love' with two men. The fact she uses love & Guy A in same sentence tells you the value she placed on herself: zero
4. Think of marriage to a divorcee at her age when single men abound. Why did the guy divorce in the first place?

Toobet:
Introduction and Engagement everywhere
Una want make our parents begin dey disturb us and think say we no serious with our life and?? No let me come after u oooo

The topic actually applies to you.

Follow it & have peace.

chinonyinye:
What happened to 'marrying her?' or she's not your type or not good enough for marriage but good only for sex.

For her to have been living with you for a year and 8 months, it means you have been together before then and you refused to do the right thing and yet want to add assault and rape on top.

Its like she has discovered that you are just using her and decided to wise up. You even threatened her with another woman. Later if they serve you wedding IV now, you will come here and start dragging women

Now you're calling the devil. Devil that was sitting on his own oo

Is marriage the solution or prevention of this problem?

I doubt it.

The OP would have same attitude whether he was married to the lady or not.

@bold:

If true, then she should have ended the relationship and left his house.

ahnie:
Good morning sweetheart.
Pls I'm craving peppered asun and snails with chilled yogurt


I look forward to receiving them from you

Hahahahahaha!

Your expectations shall not be cut short in Jesus' Name.

ahnie:
I keep saying it,and would continue saying it... preeeeeek and towtow are the world two most dangerous toys to be kept together inside one room.especially if the buyer hasn't finished paying for the toys completely.

Warris this?

Which jobs do people just 'take emergency leave' or 'one month leave' just like that?

mofedamijo:
How many countries have you been to?

You guys keep talking about black man mentality when someone talks about prayer or God.

Even your dear whites say that a lot. I have been to several countries, dated several races, as a matter of fact, my Caucasian friends makes those statements alot. Any little thing, Mofe take it to God in prayers.

Stop this stereotypical crypto shit...... Its a global thing not a black man thing.

Everything is only black man.

Sure sign of a person not exposed to other cultures.

The last three pictures just makes you forget whatever stern comment you had for the mother.

She should keep at it; the magic liner she saw in 2021, she would see them no more in 2022

JavaScript90:
Lol, the celebrant be like 'I can't kill myself, economy hard. What I have is what I will give'
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Except the celebrant has a farm, the plantains are more expensive than a basic party souvenir like napkins, rubber bowls & dust parkers.

Konquest:
Which 7th day rest? That's one
of the many biblical allegories or "midrash" in Jewish theology.
God or the Divine exists beyond "space and time" and does not need any resting.

On the other hand Bukatyne, you're
absolutely spot on about saving up, spending, then getting refreshed at the end of each yearly cycle.

Okay, so get ready to let your guards down and "splurge" on chunks of chocs, cocktail drinks, cup cakes, pina colada, etc, this December, knowing full well that "antacids" would come to the rescue.

Enjoy your day.

Ciao.

Well, our beliefs on the rest is different.

@bold:
hahahahaha

I would rather go places and experiences than just food

Valuc:
Stingy people don drop quote...

And why do you feel entitled to people's money if you are not offering a service?

Toks2008:
Must ladies twist things?

We are talking about gender roles here and they are bringing RIGHTS to cheat. Chai

There is no chai!

I am bringing a very holistic discussion here.

NoToPile:
I am a lady oo

But you didn't say anything about the man taking domestic responsibility , I can't see that any where in your write up advising me as a male to take any domestic responsibility.

I know you might not respond now you know I am female.


Advice your fellow men to take domestic responsibility too, women are providing already ,same way financial burdens can kill the man is the same way a woman can die carrying both financial and domestic burdens.

You want one person to carry two responsibilities while you are carrying only one, its not nice.

Tell the men to do chores women are providing already shikena.

And traditional roles are not dead if not you won't see guys on these thread saying they can't do domestic work.

Since they can't let them provide fully now.

Don't bring abroad into this issue, all those shouting they can't do chores do it with joy over there, Nigeria is the case study

Anyway I salute the real men out there who at least acknowledge its their responsibility even though economic constraint may prevent them from providing fully. And to those that provide all na man you be.

You have forgotten the 'right to cheat' because they are the 'head/men'

I see a lot of male posters going on about how Nigerian women would never split bills.

Sorry to burst your bubble, more women are willing to split the bills than men willing to split the chores.

Funny man.

I hope she is also able to cheat like you did with Becky.

Besides, what's stopping you from having it? Your wife Beyonce?

Eyin cruise catchers.

Iyaebe:
My dear I've heard it before but laughed over it but here is my friend using that as an escuse why she didn't study law

@bold:

Interesting.

AllahIsShit:
This is the first time I'm hearing of this. What is the significance of 12 feet as opposed to 6 feet?

Same here.

@OP:

Irrespective of how a person is buried, the body turns to dust while the soul would be judged.

WoundedLamb:
Lol... My honest and blunt white friend once asked me "what is this white privilege y'all talk about?". Then it dawned on me that they simply don't see this racial privilege not because it doesn't exist but because they were born into it, so it's just normal.

Have you ever hear the expression "go and marry!"? Well, people like Genevieve Nnaji, Rita Dominic, etc. must have lost count of how many times they've read it. Regardless of their success, the society expects them to have a man to be fully regarded. ​A young man who just got his first job would quickly get his own place and that's OK. When a lady stays alone, people are wary of her. Once there's a divorce, the only line we read on NL "Nigerian women of nowadays can't keep a home". Men cheating is not a big deal because men will always be men. Davido sleeps with different women, he is "OBO!", the women are olosho. All these are minor compared to those that have become systematic like the female child not inheriting properties, etc..

Yes, some women are well respected in society without anyone even caring if they had any husband or not. But like I said, these women had to be extra.

And men are not told to go and marry?

Do you know how many times Don Jazzy has been ridiculed to be gay or impotent?

Don't people same something about everyone?

This victimhood mentality is really sad.

WoundedLamb:
The parts where a successful woman is normally greeted with "go and marry!" and a single lady who lives alone and drives her own car is something to be wary of.

How does your response tie into the OP or even my question to you?

The tread is about boys not doing well in school; you said girls have to do very well else they become properties of men.

You need to pick a side:
If women are generally properties of men, then the men would dictate the level the women can achieve in the first place i.e. having a great education might not even be possible or help her case.

In Nigeria today, most women (apart from the Northerners) are able to choose the lives they want for themselves.

Raydos:
Actually I think separate schools are a good idea, Boys and girls learn differently, Boy would learn more if they work as Interns at workshop/Lab e.t.c rather than sitting in a classroom memorising facts

The current educational system in most countries favours girls. Sitting in one place and learning things like a factory worker doesn't suit boys and it shows

Girls tends to do better than boys in school and boys are more likely to be prescribed medication for hyperactive behaviour/Poor attention

Boys are not suited to learning things in a rigid classroom atmosphere

You are not the first to mention this (even outside this thread).

However, we have always had this educational system (mixed/single gender) which did not affect the performance of boys. Infact, our educational system is now more flexible.

Is there anything different today?

I would rather save up all through the year and splurge.

One needs to mentally, socially and emotionally relax during holidays to recharge for the next year's grind.

If you don't earn so much, biko save from January to December so you can relassss on your level.

Even God rested on the 7th day.

Everyone needs periodic breaks to refresh.

addictiv:
1. Because women are more brilliant than men on average,

2. secondly boys are under pressure to secure the bag too early these days that they channel their attention to many endeavours instead of focusing on education.

3. However the problem this creates is that in future, we would have a high number of well educated women and a lower number of equally well educated men for them to marry. A lot of these women will be forced to settle for the lower class uneducated men...

4. Judging from the hypergamous nature of the average black woman... Most would rather stay single or become a second wife or baby mama to the few more successful men on the same level or higher..

Interesting post.

1. Do you have any source that states that women are more intelligent all round than men? Or is this a personal observation?

2. I have read this from several posters here. Is this new pressure from the society or peer induced i.e. yahoo yahoo? If anything, the family pressure on boys to provide is reduced and more boys are sponsored by their families/wards in school.

3. True

4. Hypergamy is not a Nigerian word nor concept.

WoundedLamb:
The same reason blacks are excelling in American universities. As a woman in Africa, you don't have the male privilege, you have to be extra to be regarded in society. Otherwise, you'd end up as a property owned by some man. This alone is enough driving force.

Please specify the parts of Africa?

eyinjuege:
People should note point 15 well, with points 16 and 17 too
He is not a bully and she is not a doormat. Meaning she still does her thing, Able to make her own decisions and he listens, never imposes his will upon her.
If you act as a dictator in your home, rebellion is only a matter of time. Your partner will Sòrò s'ókė.
This particular woman has complete trust in her husbandman, to go with whatever he wants because time has proven that he makes good decisions.
All men are not this husband, as some have no respect for their spouse, always make the wrong decisions to drive their families into penury.
They cannot earn the trust of their wives because they make wrong choices and hence she is forced to take control of the wheel of her life and family.
It's not as difficult as we paint it o....
We all just have to understand that our actions always have consequences

Post on point especially the bold

Very interesting and educative article which is a practical guide to the modern dating/courting world.

My reaction was to naturally say after marriage (before reading the article ).

NoToPile:
People seem not to get the main issue

Her husband thinks she is lying that 4k can't be enough for the week. Even if he doesn't have that doesn't mean he should be in denial that 4k can't last a family of four ( without foodstuffs at home) for one week.

If you don't have , its understandable but don't make the woman look stupid like she doesn't know how to manage or something.

He should buy the foodstuffs himself with the 4k for one week if he thinks she's lying. If its only adults they can drink garri and water but little children is another ball game entirely oo

Only Half crate of egg is 900 protein for children, let's say quarter 450 naira.

As usual NL boys have started insulting the woman.

@bold:

On point.

Saintmary:
Just ask him to help you buy foodstuff on his way back home.

Iyaebe:
Let me call Pan.sophist, buk.atyne and Mari.ahAngel to come give advise from their wealth of knowledge and wisdom. Premarital Sex how important is it?then God's factor I'm really confused.

Eku invite

ahnie:
I had the intention of cc(ing)you to this thread,I knor know why it slipped my mind.

On a more serious note,some women get mind Sha o.

As in, a lot of mind.

This is not 'chop clean mouth' and move on.

You would have a child with the person for life?

Maryliola:
Hey guys

I’m making this post because I don’t want to be judged and I can’t turn my on people in my real life because they may not understand. Well I’ve been married for 2 plus years I’m 27 with a son. I’m going to get personal so embrace yourself.

Myself and my husband have a good relationship, almost too good because I literally see him like my brother. This is to the point where our romantic/lover side of our relationship is kinda dead. I see him naked, it’s like looking at my brother naked. I don’t feel turned on, or excited. We talk and gist like friends, but romantically things are flat. Our sex life is mediocre I guess. He doesn’t do oralll sexxx and he ejaculates very fast. I’m talking 10 seconds, and it’s every single time despite taking different preventative measures. I know that I’m extremely clean as I’m very observant of myself and he also tells me all the time. Yet orall sexxx is disgusting to him and “dehumanising”. There’s no passion when we kiss, its forced most times.


Lately I’ve been finding myself fantasising about being touched by a man , almost every night . A man that will give me orall sexx a man that will turn me on and blow me away. I don’t want to be judged here, but this is genuinely how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want to put pressure on my husband as he has other things to worry about.
A man that will kiss me in all the right places and make me feel like a woman. Sometimes I believe I’m being delusional, or unrealistic. I’m trying to get rid of these thoughts, but I really don’t know how. I have never cheated on my husband and I don’t think I have the guts to do it. I really just want to know how married people cope when that spark is gone. When you begin to look at your spouse like a brother or sister, and romantically the vibes are not there.

Let me also say that I’ve addressed this to him many times, but he stands he’s not willing to compromise.

Help!

Lalasticlala I need this on front page as I need help for people to see this.

1. How did you meet him?
2. What is your dream idea of a man as a lover (not sex alone)
3. Is this lack of sexual desire new or from the beginning
4. Apart from the bad sex life, is there anything you would like to see in your man he is not doing? Dressing, carriage, grooming, activities etc.
5. Does your husband express any sexual desire towards you? E.g. you wear something/sees you naked and he reacts sexually etc. etc.

Let's understand the root cause before delving into the last paragraph.

If you don't see your husband as a man, it would be hard to satisfy you sexually/ he would be unwilling to try hence you would be looking for a man and we are back to square one.