₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Hi Bukatyne, this silence is loud o. I hope you are okay and I want to believe the silence is an intentional effort towards a digital detox of Nairaland

You've been on my mind, since I haven't seen your posts in a long time and I thought to holla. Take care and have a blessed 2022.

Thanks a lot Klass99 for reaching out, I am good, trust you are also I am sure the year has been great for you so far.

@bold: I wish

BornToSucced:
Thank you everyone for your individual contributions. I really appreciate your responses and I have factored some of them into my decisions.

My special thanks to @Co cocandy @Kla ss99 @Bukatyne @Autoc hick @Sisi sioge and the rest.

God bless you �

So what was your decision?

angelfallz:
Bukatyne we miss you. Hope all is well. Happy New year.

Awww, angelfallz, thanks a lot. All is well, I hope my happy new year is not coming too late?

I am sure this 1st quarter has been great.

descarado:
Lady buka, hope all is well with you and yours?

Happy new year sis, we are all good, thanks for checking up.

Work is crazy I need to retire quickly; I was made for the baby girl lifestyle.

I hope you are all good also?

ahnie:
Bukatyne has gone Mia for months now...hope she's ok?

Mama Zino, happy new year.

I am/was good.

Just loads of work

How are you and family?

Undergarments Must be White for Female Students. This is strictly monitored.


What is the reason/ benefit of the above rule?

I am still looking for the person the OP is crushing on.

With his pink hair

Anyways, different strokes for different folks.


P. S.: Reconciling the OP and her posts like.

Prince001:
Both the Parents and Teachers are to blame here. Teacher supposed not be advanced parent for our kids cos d parents should do d need so that their kid should behave well outside their home.
Teacher have no right to beat any kid too. Their job is to educate them with knowledge not with beating!
Nigeria is just upside down place! May Almighty God guide us all to the right path!!!!!!

How do you instill knowledge without discipline?

Omoluabi16:
No one should take Toks seriously. Polygamy has never proven to cure or curb sexual immorality. You know the cons of polygamy too.

@bold:

100% correct!

Again, what is the definition of sexual immorality according to the OP?

GboyegaD:
Because they possess the bad sides you don't have.

Godfather052:
Wait till u join politics

Acidosis:
Everybody has that innate defence mechanism. It's the same reason we go to church to bind, cast, destroy and command evil doers to die even though we know that certain evil doers could be from within (family, workplace, neighborhood, etc.)

The way we deploy that innate defence mechanism is what makes the difference. You can go to jail for doing the right thing.

@bold:

luminouz:
Thank you for asking.

It's really simple. Tell her to attend to your needs or you will find someone who can.

OP's case is that of 'see finish'. The wife felt since he already married her and he loves her, she can exercise some control over him by weaponising sex, especially since she knows he loves sex. Wasn't the same woman fuqin him as he wanted during courtship? So what changed? And don't gimme that BS about kids and house chores and the likes. Many market women and shop owners close by 10pm-11pm and still fuq their husbands like he wants it. A woman will only be giving you the 'i'm tired' excuse when she knows you won't do shiit about it.

If I can marry her and still do my duties in that house, why should she Welch on hers? I love sex and any girl with me knows that. She also knows that if she weaponises that shiit, and refuse to change, I will get another and drive her out. Sex is not my ultimate but when a partner tries to weaponise it on me, I decline and turn the tables. Didn't you read where that married man said he had to wash toilet before the wife gave him sex....WTF is that? Sex weaponisation.

Thanks for the response.

The bold summaries your solution to the OP using the redpill template.

The problem is that if he is a Christian, that advise is void because he only has one legitimate means to meet his sexual need: his wife.

He also cannot divorce her because she is unwilling to meet his sexual needs.

This is where her parents & spiritual leaders come in if he is insistent he doesn't want to cheat on her.

Stories like these get to me: We are against adultery yet we want to sexually abuse our husbands and hold them to ransom.

Towma:
So you turned your kids product of broken home because of sex?
Imagine if na woman write this rubbish the kind curse nairalanders for curse am.

What do you advise the poster you quoted do in the scenario he painted?

Very pathetic thread on both sides.

I will just drop this line: anyone not interested or willing to sexually satisfy their partner (male/female) should not bother about marriage. All forms of sexual abuse are wrong:
1. Withholding sex;
2. Exchanging sex for gifts/cash;
3. Causing intentional injury to a partner during sex (outside BDSM);
4. Not making an effort to satisfy your partner;
5. Performing/incorporating acts that is shameful to the other party
6. etc.

Sex (all types) is the thing that done outside marriage is an outright sin. Other activities done together might just be inappropriate or indecent.

@stress: If something is very important to you, you make time for it or re-arrange your schedule to fit it in.

luminouz:
Which nonsense kudos?

That dude has suffered and is still suffering. Only the redpill can save him.

What solution does redpill have for him?

Yoighaman:
@OP: You don't want to live up to your moniker? Maybe you should take a look at it again

TheSourcerer:
Player deliberately misses penalty , after an unfair referee call.

Woaw!

This is just woaw!

Davash222:
A man will kneel and beg a woman to marry him
Same man will still pay bride price
Same man will still train and set up the woman

Just for procreation


We need to revisit and readjust some ethics in this institution called marriage.

@bold:

You mean all the women around you just carry pregnancies and birth the kids?

That's all they literally do?

How lucky

otokx:
Welcome to the Nigerian husband world, it will get worse then it may get better, just hang in there.

Warris this?

massinola:
Seriously. I was just imagining how the woman could be so stupid. I'm just worried for her life

Until the woman stops being stupid, there is nothing you can do.

She is married to a very irresponsible man (let's forget she chose him) and birthed six kids.

Not one or two she can feed herself; six!

Then she continues enabling a man who is a drunk, financially irresponsible, a waster and a terrible influence to the kids.

What in God's name is keeping her in that marriage without looking for a solution (if she is inclined to stay?)

Ulunne777:
My take
Mberede nyiri Dike mana ya ka eji ama dike!

When you feel you are alone or theres no option,you face life forcefully but with options,you tend to be laid back.

Even women who are lazy as Bleep turn to hustlers in the event of Divorce or death.In fact they triumph compared to their male counterpart.

Very true.

descarado:
Nothing gives women thrush like g-string.

Don't see the beauty in it.
Your but hole is not breathing. Your pigeon hole the same.
You dangle butt outside like you are in your bedroom.
All are called women emancipation.

Make we kukuma go back to base.
100% unclothedness.

@bold:

Mummiesgirls4:
He will be a good husband n father by Gods grace. Some men can't even boil water let alone make tea

Some that can't/won't 'boil water' today did more than this.

Happy Men's Day to all the men created and born naturally as men.

cayorday89:
Magun those days in Yoruba movies, but with my movie knowledge of how Magun works, it's the man that that ends up dieing, while the woman lives to face the consequences of their shame. So OP, think am twice if you believe, men are polygamous in nature and women are not, think of what will befall you when you go hit on a married woman, but still agitate for Magun because you don't want your wife to cheat on you.

@Bold:

Maybe the OP has one that functions the other way

Ndi motivational speakers 'your network is your net worth' are right o!

Klass99:
It will be interesting to see the feedback from married men.

One of my colleagues in the profession we belong to (not a work colleague at the office) said before marrying his wife he studied her to know if she was the sort of woman who could handle things well in his absence. Whether temporary or permanent absence and he felt satisfied she could, so it was one of the reasons he married her.

Your question is one of the things I worry about and fear for women who wake up one day after two children and start insisting they want more with hubby. At the back of my mind I keep thinking........do these women understand that two children will be easier to manage, than three or more if their husbands die today or tomorrow?

Why can't they think of themselves as the 3rd or 4th child they want so badly? Because they will still need to feed, clothe and shelter themselves too, as a parent, if or when hubby dies nah. It's unfortunate that in Naija/Africa, we would rather say things like God forbid, it is not my portion! Than think strategically and plan carefully for these things.

On the other hand, widows tend to be resilient and they seem to do well by their children when hubby passes. Making lots of sacrifices and denying themselves things in the process. But, the suffer head no be here o! That's why I keep saying the fewer the better.

Interestingly, I believe women do better running things after their husband's demise than the other way round.

geonye:
Africa man is never always comfortable when ever the wife earns more than he does

What's all these 'African men' you guys are always calling?

While there might be issues unique to the African marriage, this is not one of them.

pocohantas:
Her head is not okay.

Yenyenyen love.

You have money and you can’t use it to help your husband, you will now be disturbing his ears with love.

How do you claim to love someone and not help them in difficult times?

Useless love!

You haff taken it personal ke

Is the average woman happy spending on men as men are happy spending on women?

I don't mean on family or bills.....

Just spoiling the man with material stuff or giving him cash gifts?

Just pondering.

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

But richer men give their wives random cash gifts: change your car, change your wardrobe, buy this diamond set etc. etc.

Why can't the OP gift her husband a new car or whatever toy that catches his fancy?

@OP:

A very complex issue.

This is where feminism, red pill and other ideologies fall flat under intense scrutiny.

Men & women don't think the same way and want same things.

Before someone comes to say that's how the men are brought up:

I am not disputing nurture however there must be something innate, natural that makes a significant number of romantic relationships where the women earns way higher an extreme sport. And this is across all races.

If the wife is not disrespectful, the husband's insecurities lets him see war everywhere while the in-laws are 100% certain that the man is emasculated.

The things the wife would get away with while poor becomes the most disrespectful thing ever and she has to bend backwards & stretch herself thin to keep peace.

This is where religion comes in: to subdue/kill that natural tendency to behave as the above.

This one Lala opened a thread & Seun commented on first page.

Christmas came early.