₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
And what makes you think staying single till you're 40 will make you a billionaire?

Is there a particular allowance the federal govt pays the 40s and single people that suddenly makes them wealthy? The money you think you're saving at age 40 would still be spent on the same family, wife and kids you tried to avoid at 28. You will still spend that savings and even more, so why lie to yourself?


Whatever can make you broke while married is capable of turning you to a dejected and frustrated single man at 50.

My brother tell them.

When I read 'I want to build a career before getting married' or 'I want to hammer before I settle down', I wonder

Finished watching Romance is a Bonus Book

Fitting drama title involving a FL who is so down in life that romance is the least thing on her mind.

I loved the ML; if 'moving out of friendzone' was a person. I admired how he moved out of the FL's brotherzone to lover; hot, sharp prof. The scenes I love:
1. When he told the FL that he is a man and a great one at that; see self advert
2. When he made the FL realize that he lets her beat him because he wants to; not because she is stronger;
3. When he started low key wooing her after declaring his love

I think the ML has been in love since she introduced her ex; he was jealous there. Her wedding scene was also great. Dude was lowkey telling her to elope with him I also liked how the ML handled the issue of the FL at work.

The FL's determination and persistence is admirable. I felt pity for her especially when she was so ashamed of her life that she couldn't tell the ML what she was going through and instead camped in his house. When I watch the wedding scene again, I believe she was in love with the ML but discounted it. Her major fear was that she did not want to ruin a life relationship (brotherhood) with a fleeting one (romance) but ML saw her as his last bus stop. I also want to believe she knew that the ML loved her that's why she kept running back to him. A 37 year old woman cannot be clueless to know that it's love that would propel a man to be your rock over the years. She also wanted a dramatic relation at that age; apparently she had not learnt from her previous marriage.

Her humility was also on point and her zeal to learn to contribute. She is a model employee.

The momma's girl was sweet and I knew that she would pair up with that drama king in the end. I laughed when he ended in the Sauna and kept asking why he left his house.

I was unable to decipher the motivations of the CEO's girlfriend. Why was she still cold even after their hangout? Why was she sooo rigid? I found it interesting that her ex was happy selling noodles. I do not think the marriage would have worked out. She doesn't seem like a woman who would be content with so little.

The CEO was too money conscious. It was sad that it took the death of that poet to wake him up. He was sweet when he want to sha. His button hunting was hilarious especially when he tacked the first one for the director cum girlfriend

The founders meeting where they all wore trench coats

I liked the editor; a little bit pushy when it comes to men however her work ethic is absolutely on point!

The 2nd ML was giving me serial killer or kidnappper vibes I loved the times the ML used to harass him when he was wooing the FL.

If I were the script writer, the Bongs would have come back together after the couple learnt their faults. A divorce due to irreconcilable differences (not adultery, abandonment or abuse) usually rubs me the wrong way.

The co-worker that threw the FL under the bus? Talk about kicking someone who is down.

.

Ovems:
You are spot on. Na them . I remember seeing a video on YouTube where they were saying that kdramas encourage abuse /sexual abuse or something like that. Then they were showing clips of ajumas in dramas that spank the bum of young guys and also videos of ajumas talking to guys "roughly", asking if they are strong enough to impregnate women (the clip they used here was from Because This Is My First Life where the male lead went to the female lead's parents house to help them make kimshi, I hope I spelt it right), etc.

I remember rolling my eyes and ending the video after a while. I was just like, you people should not carry your woke mentality and come spoil Kdrama for us o. The people don't see it as sexual abuse and I didn't either until I saw that video. This women are old women and they act and talk like old women everywhere. I just tire .

Hahahahahahaha!

They should let us be jare

I also had issues with the way the Ajhummas treated the male lead considering that the series positioned itself to correct some societal ills. They just flipped what the way they feel men behave and made the women act that way.

And I have noticed same theme in movies that claims to correct the 'patriarchal ills' with feminist ideas.

I wanted to drop my review beht I watched another series and moved on

The FL, I still do not understand what got into her the last two episodes.

purples25:
I condemned what the man is doing at least twice in my post. But that doesn't mean we should be blind to other things.

What I don't like is how he confidently decided that the old man should not have sexual feelings because of his age. That's an inhumane expectation, and age discrimination.

Also even having the slightest idea of reducing his money to control him. Just Cuz he's old right? That's not good, taking advantage of his age. If you don't like what he's doing, never think like that. Call him and talk to him, same way you would if he was young, strong and paying your school fees. He should still be treated with respect.

I hope you get what I was trying to point out.

I understand your point and I am not against baba having sex if he wasn't married.

However, his actions are not 'I don't like this', they are actually wrong (a sin) and hurting the mother.

He is also disrespecting the mother.

Klass99:
50 is not a papa oh. He's still young abeg.

Old papa youngie

tidalstorm:
She will know, don't worry.

Blood thick pass water.

The correct saying is 'The blood of covenant is thicker than the water of birth'.

Decolink:
Please I will try to be brief.
I started dating her in 2017,we dated for 3yrs and I traveled outside the country in 2020.
We didn't have any problems and I was serious about getting married to her.
When I was leaving she promised not to have another boyfriend and to wait for me(she is 24). I promised not to disappoint her.
It was going well for sometime until after one year,we had a quarel and separated.

About 3 months ago,we got back together,and she said she was still intact and waiting for me.
We started communicating regularly,but I noticed that each time were talking,she would be receiving calls frequently,after sometime,I confronted her with it,she lied that he was her customer. But I called the guy and found out he is a guy that was chiking her before.
She later admitted that she dated the guy when we had quarels. She also admitted to going to night clubs that period.

I still love her,but I'm pained because she cheated,lied about it and was reluctant about coming out of that relationship.
I'm also thinking of continuing the relationship because I have been outside for 2year now,it happened when we quarelled and she has agreed to stop it.
Nairalanders,do you think I should quit the relationship or go ahead with marriage plans.

I have a number of worries:
You both committed to preserving your relationship as you were/are both intent on getting married. Despite this fact, the following happened:
1. You could not restrain yourself sexually and slept with someone else within two years;
2. She could not restrain her sexually and slept with someone while you both had misunderstanding;
3. Not only did she have sex, she actually engaged in a relationship that the dude doesn't know he is supposed to be FWB and is calling her like a serious lover.

Some people in long distance relationships have sexual partners who understand that they are just there for the sex. If the sexual partner is now catching feelings and the person tangling them cannot clear them that they are just sex partners, there is a double problem.

Should you continue with the relationship:

Can you assure yourself that neither of you would travel or you would not have minor tiffs?

If no, do you mind adultery from both parties in your marriage?

I have no answer for you: just a lot of questions to direct you to the answer

This topic that has been rehashed in another thread?

tidalstorm:
Lol...... mumu woman.
How some women can be carrying theirselves sef, how do you want to compare yourself with somebodies mother?

Person wey raise pikin, send am go school, make am better person for society and you want to divorce him for buying his mother a car?

Monkey work baboon wan chop alone.

Make sure your wife to be knows your understanding of marriage before you tie the knot.

Klass99:
, Seven blessings to you and yours.

May he find a very suitable and good wife indeed.

But, why do you always quote and respond like this? I mean the @ Klass then @ me thing you do?

What do you expect from a papa

I read his post and said 'no wonder's, daddy quotes us like this

RealAdewole:
nigeria secondary schools environment is getting more toxic to teachers day by day, thanks to woke parents that want their children not to be touched and the government and private owners that are under-rewarding teachers, which make most of them look like beggers

It is a terrible situation.

One male student beating a teacher in broad daylight

He wasn't afraid of the repercussions of his actions?

AllahIsShit:
This is a classic example of misrepresentation of a borrowed concept.

The word hookup was borrowed from American culture and it basically means a relationship where a guy and a girl who find each other attractive have a short term, mutually consensual sexual relationship, in other words, they "hook up" with each other just for the sake of sex and without the intention of establishing a long term relationship where they are expected to be faithful to each other.

Prostitution is prostitution and hook up is hook up. They are two completely different concepts.

@bold:

True.

What is the return on investment if he is bought for N20m?

Common sense would have told the Sharia Police that the dude is at his wits end and engage him to understand his problem and proffer solutions.

Except the arrest is to detain him in their custody for engagement.

obonujoker:
The USA should not allow these moles coming in the guise of correctness and wokeness, spoil many years of hard work, resilience and determination the great army is reckoned with...

Still the best country in the world, even the Nigeria that has 1000 pastors is worse than America.

@Bold:
My thoughts too.

Some spheres of life should be sacred.

@OP:

Is gender assignment harder than what was a baby born with: Vagina or Penis?

WesternOligarch:
It's a crazy thought....but I think the more developed a country is with higher standards of living the more the men and women become more physically attractive.

It is true.

@AmazonianLady:

I pray that God would give you a husband that would be your resting place.

Not financial rest per se but emotional rest: one who would cherish you, pamper you, love you, not stress you nor serve you breakfast.

I also pray He will give you the discernment to know and cherish that man when he comes.

I also pray same for your sisters.

I am interested in finishing the story.

WesternOligarch:
Roy was liked out of pity.

Obviously.

Icouldhave:
one of my daughter lives there she's 24

Okay.

So mama shouldn't be involved washing clothes and all sorts anymore.

Icouldhave:
My dad is 85 and you think am a young boy or a teenager like you.
Wonders will never end.
What if I tell you have had grandchildren, children of now days don't know how to use their brain to think at all

Please get your mother someone to do the chores around the house, visit her kids periodically and also her sisters/brothers.

It is time to be pampered and relax.

She cannot be emotionally stressed and add physical stress to it.

@OP:

No comment, it does not seem like you really see anything bad in what Baba is doing.

Cholls:
My brother what's the difference

One is at his place of work; one is in the studio

mariahAngel:
When I saw the post, I didn't even know where to begin.
Imagine blaming his wife for his hardship.

@bold:

He is not.

He is blaming her for having a wild sexual past and not disclosing it to him before they got married.

It is the same feeling a woman who married as a virgin or wasn't a side chic has when her husband cheats.

Or someone who never aborted trying for kids while her friend who had ten abortions is a mother of five.

It is a 'I did not do anything wrong, why am I getting this' feeling or simply put 'why me?'

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

Hello LiegeMan,

From your OP, I deduced the following:
1. Your wife had a colourful sexual past;
2. She did not inform you or made it less colourful for your acceptance;
3. In your hustling phase, you did not have time for women/sex so you do not have a wild sexual past;
4. You most likely WOULD NOT have married your wife if you knew her sexual past;
5. Because of your background, you can understand/excuse women having multiple sexual partners for survival/poverty more than for fun;

In summary, you feel cheated that after all your labour, you are not getting the best sexually when it is time to relasss.

Brother, you have the right to feel anything however, you do not have to validate or act on them.

We don't go about stealing people's money because someone stole ours; nor do we go about bullying people because someone bullied us.

Committing adultery and any other vice classified as 'flexing' would not change your wife's past; nor would it change your past. It would only give temporary relief and loads of guilt if you have a moral compass.

Please discuss with her to express your disappointment at hiding her past and move on.

Also determine what is fun for you alone + with your family and pursue both.

Goodluck.

Raalsalghul:
Bukatyne very few people oh.

Or maybe they do and just want to make him feel stupid/invalidate his feelings.

Raalsalghul:
That's the funny thing, he doesn't have a past.

Tragically funny.

If the OP is true, he does not have a past!

DissTroy:
This is complete gaslighting.

If she were open about her past while dating, maybe he wouldn't have married her.

He's giving hints you are all ignoring. She was a nightcrawler, screwing multiple guys and clubing all over. She probably even aborted.

In school I didn't go wild or did drugs or had wild parties and órgies banging RANDOM women or knock up a woman then got her to get an abortion.
I still haven't done any of these things and I'm probably one of the least religious persons on Nairaland.

Stating that, I'd consider it cheating if I find out my partner was screwing around in her past, probably abusing substances too and/or did abortions.

I've always been upfront with the females in my life over the years about these things. Some think they are smart and can hide their past but when I find out, I call it off. And you'd never know I've called it off until months later.

I'm not expecting she should be a saint but don't go banging random dudes, aborting and abusing substances then think I'd accept you because it's your past. No!

Actions have consequences and I'm not going to spend the rest of my life dealing with the consequences of your juvenile delinquency. Never. I don't care if you have been canonised now.

Let people choose who they want to be with.

Very few people understand the OP.

This post summarizes it.

Even women who married as virgins feel more cheated when their husband cheats.

You always here the 'He met me as a virgin, why did he cheat?' 'I was never a side chic, why does my husband have one?'

TOPCRUISE:
Hmm. In simple terms she bleeped and sampled a lot of dicks for fun and for money while she was on campus and later settled down with a gentle innocent man like you. You are now angry when you find out and you now want to see how she will react if you do same with women now that you have the cash

@Bold:

Exactly the OP's anger and not the 'he was poor/struggling while she was comfortable' meaning people are reading to it.

I believe the stressing of her parent's financial background is to tell us that she had no reason to hop about.

siofra:
Nairaland men which way

Pathetic!!!

Can you outline the characteristics of the first picture & the second one?

What are the differences?

I liked Roy the most though.

He would have been number one for me.

The social experiment is interesting though:

All the ladies said Roy was a good shoulder to lean on or cuddled yet put him fourth.

They also implied one of the men looks like a cheat yet ranked him above Roy who is supposedly a gentleman.

Roy needs to be a bit more confident and assertive so he doesn't become a 'shoulder' aka friendzone to ladies who want to go round the block and come back to a nice guy when they are done.

The Roys of this world need to pick their women very young and without baggage and/or history so they grow together to their tastes.

WesternOligarch:
Lol it actually applies to both black men and women. All we have is ourselves.

I actually found her(the black chic) most attractive funny enough but like someone said most of these stuff is subjective. Plus generally speaking the concept of beauty has been shaped by the western world it's why you nigerian/black women spend soo much money on Indian hairs, in terms of attractiveness asian women (especially the ones from Japan) are deemed most attractive followed by europeans and latinas, then mixed race women and lastly black women, it's how it played out in the video, the white girl only was put last because she was fat. Africans aren't helping matters by unknowingly enforcing these stereotypes.

Welcum:
In as much as we condemn thieving politicians, this is simply Satanic of this terrorist government. It indicates that all the Diezani hullabaloo may just be nothing other than petty witch-hunt. Was she not supposed to wear brassiere? Who will buy brassiere worn by another person? This government is the most disgusting 'democratic' government I have ever known. It share characteristics with such extremist rules as we have in Afghanistan and North Korea. Trash!



Yes, obviously. They want to make her commit suicide.

This is incredibly petty.

Surprised they have not listed her pants yet.

pansophist:
I know at least two black women (one Cameroonian and a Nigerian) that gave their heart to freshies guys, they got used for papers, got them dumped, and even worse, one was made baby mamas against her wish (the Cameroonian). It is not always about the ladies, some Naija guys are also not nice, and high in the freshie circle. Also, other African women do it too. When I first landed, there was this Congolese girl I was dying for in my school, she got the creamy, dark, and shiny black shades, with bad-ass curves, and a killer ass. Damn. but she didn't send me, I suspect it was because I was a freshie. And she told me about her sister in South Africa, that her Nigerian boyfriend impregnated, left, and went back to Nigeria. Would I blame her? hell no. She was looking out for herself, and that is reasonable.

The sad truth is that women do not have much shot after making mistakes, and a single pregnancy to the wrong guy may cause untold damages, she cant afford that. So everything should not be analyzed to blame women, at least not this one. Again, one needs to travel a lot, to see a lot of mulattos with African fathers, who used them for papers and dump their mother. As someone that have toured almost all the countries in Europe, I see this a lot. Especially in Russia, it is so much there. Too many mulattos with mothers, but absentees African fathers. I tried to be friends with some, but they usually have this kind of disgust for anything African and trust that their mother would have done a good job to make them dissociate with anything African.

These women see all these things, and they ain't dumb. New immigrants are most likely to see a woman as an object for legalization, they are most likely to be in a survival mode and at that period, make so many mistakes. Women don't have time to wait for a man to stumble from one mistake to the other before he got it right and even if he does, what is the guarantee that she is not being used? The men saying that they won't look at a Nigerian woman's face if they move abroad, are the same that would want to use her first for papers, they dump her for his imaginary nonblack woman. How is that fair? Nairaland is filled with the advice of men saying that they will never come home to pick a wife, but can't stand being rejected by the same women you don't want over there? These women are human too. They know the game, and one thing you can't beat a woman at is in the social game, it is their workshop.

Beautifully written with loads of insight.

Asking why is key.

Jasmine17:
I am still Nigerian inclined and want to raise kids with Nigerian values. Thats why I still dey eye Nigerian ladies.

What Nigerian inclined values are you looking for?