₦airaland Forum

Mindlog:
Post your own DNA result, to prove that who you regard as your father is truly the one.

Hahahahahaha

Shokoloko:
Great question. Its the love languages that let you know what your spouse will consider "been taken for granted". I didn't know these until I saw it play out in my marriage.
I love (acts of service) not really gifts or words of affirmation so my spouse couldn't understand why I was NOT tripping for the human hairs, and watches and shoes and Lexus he bought me - I really don't care much for them.
I found him rather kind and sexy when he was washing dishes in the kitchen with me or joining me in my little farm or in the gym (he hates the gym ).

And he always complained that I took him for granted and never gave him gifts. I did give him gifts but I later realized his love language is GIFT GIVING, so the bigger the gift, the more it meant to him.
So now whenever I want to give my spouse a birthday gift I start putting it together months in advance. I would not buy a phone of more than 60K for myself cause it means nothing to him but I know his love language is gifts so I gift him some crazy unreal phones (His eyes widen like a kid's when I hand him the latest edition).
Of course he still buys me lovely gifts but my thank you when he has done an act of service is both in words and in kind.

buymyride:
Haba e don do nah
Must everybody now show their eye service at this point in time?



Check my signature, i have a 2016 Honda Accord toks selling cheap

It is called alignment and happens everywhere

ProfTel98:
It is well with Mr Trump o. By the way, Biden may not even be better than him. Who knows. No be same thing happen here in 2015

AceRoyal:
In as much as I don't like Trump, I do feel that these actions will leave a very dangerous ripple effect on America as a Nation.

This might just mark the begining of the end of America as the world's super power.

The ones esteemed position of the president of the US has been degraded beyond redemption.

They think they're hurting Trump, not knowing that this is a disastrous declension into a slippery slope of chaos and lose of the esteemed position of been a world power.

Trump was bad but these steps has shown how weak, useless, unimportant and volatile the position of the president can be.

Biden has so much to do, but even at that there'll be no recovery from this kind of damage to America as a world power.

Hmmmmmm.

Valid points.

southniyikaye:
The unending troubles of Donald trump

The shareholders have decided that trump and anything attached to him is for now BAD BUSINESS...
I really pity him sha..
Yorubas will say,
Moja mosa ni AFI un mo akinkanju
Meaning
A wise man should know when to retreat..

@bold:

Very true.

pocohantas:
Yes babe. *covers eyes*

Congratulations.

More ink to your pen and creative juices to your mind.

OvaSabi1:
I noticed that as men get older, their specs change and that the true spec of a man is apparent only when he has made money. For most of you who are in polygamous homes, you will notice that the last wife is usually the finest and the least hardworking. Meanwhile, the first wife (she may be fine too but just simple looking) is enterprising and calm. Usually, old man married her when he was not yet well off and as at then, she prided herself on being the hardworking wife material he was looking for and made her believe she is.

Many young men these days usually claim that they are attracted to intelligent, ambitious and hardworking ladies. Infact they have launched campaigns against so called slay queens. Also, many are not very comfortable admitting to their partners what physical attributes they like in women. They claim they are only attracted to what is inside which I think is not true.

I think that when a man starts making money, all these talk about being sapiosexual will disappear. Every man wants a dumb woman who is fine as hell. If this is the case, then I think that many women are being deceived into marriages. Women are just married because they're convenient and available and not because you are the man's spec. Then much later, he meets his spec and makes her the 2nd wife or side chick who he starts spending money on, because of course she is not trying to proof to you that she is an ambitious work mule. This is not fair.

My advice to men is to prayerfully work hard so that they can settle down with the women who they truly desire when they want and without any pressure. There are many men who married women who are not their spec and they're regretting now. Some will even complain bitterly that the current wife (who was an ambitious non slay queen) is controlling and proud. Marrying your spec when you have money will save a lot of men and women agony.

Please I am looking forward to seeing intelligent and profound analysis from mature and preferably middle aged men here.

Princess vs Queen syndrome.

angelfallz:
As women are currently given priority in jobs what system is in place to make sure the women don't mis appropriate the funds?

We don't want Jennifer to abandon her family and start buying gold jewellery and testing herself to holiday trips in Dubai and London.

Your replies are seriously biased.

Women are given priority to jobs?

In some sectors, yes.

There is however no 'large scale' scheme to ensure only husbands get jobs like the OP is advocating.

Today, it is an open field (apart from some sectors of the service industry) for people to get jobs.

The problem is that the jobs are not enough (case study Nigeria) so the OP is advocating that husbands are given top priority because they are providers.

SchoolPedia:
A healthy marriage will surely last just as a lasting marriage indicates a healthy marriage.

Now, we want to know why marriages these days don't last.

@bold:

Not necessarily.

Marriages then and now are similar.

Only difference is that in one dispensation, divorce/separation was not rewarded or made attractive.

SchoolPedia:
Let's have an open discussion here please.



Matured minds only.

I believe we will learn a lot here and help build better homes and families which will bring about better societies too.

Let's get the discussion running please.

Happy Sunday all.

Is the idea to make marriages last or make them healthy?

You need to compare the terrain and/ belief system back then and now.

Then you are compare apples for apples

angelfallz:
Your number 3 is somehow. What are you trying to say?

Exactly what it says.

If men (especially husbands) would be given priority to jobs (I.e. if five people merit a position, then the married man would be chosen) then there must be a system to ensure the men do not misappropriate the funds.

We don't want Mr. Mukalia to abandon his family and Chase Jennifer after collecting his salary.

prciouschika:
lol to help him out.... there's this identical twins ladies I know on Instagram he should go look for them since he's financial stabilized. Infact twins girls full Twitter and Instagram

Toor,

This is Sunday to do the Lord's work.

Craaaa:
If this is her house eh, make actors no dey act again olowun.. Make dem leave the acting for actresses alone. Shuuu.. Cute boy though.

Sterope:
Alright.

I have issues with grooming, submission, and him. In another context, I understand submission and grooming differently.

There are many Christians who care less for that word now.

While grooming might not be a common word amongst Christians, be wary about one who doesn't care about submission.

@Smile4mee01

1. What do you propose?

2. What seems like a 'fair' system to you?

3. How do you ensure husbands are responsible and financially committed to their families after giving them priority in the labor market?

4. How do you think about women's education? It would be a waste of resources if a woman is educated and can't work? ( I acknowledge Nigeria's abnormal situation where graduated do not practice their progession.)

Sterope:
Now, you are trying to assume for him because that is definitely not what he was communicating. I was chatting based on his silly context and meaning.

Assume for him?

When I stated I look at the meaning of a word and not individual context?

It appears you had issues with the word 'grooming' and 'Submission'. Hence my asking if you are a Christian.

Sterope:
I am aware both parties should help each other be the better version of themselves.

In his context, that was not what he meant.

Well, I look at a word at its meaning, not the contexts individuals decide to apply them to.

And grooming is easier when the people involved are younger.

Less habits formed, more malleable and coachable.

Little can be done with dry fishes.

prciouschika:
mad house

While this OP was wasting time to create threads, a party loving twin girls have passed him by:

https://www.nairaland.com/6355529/nigerian-man-marries-twins-because

The OP should not lose hope, they might have cousins or friends.

Sterope:
No, why?

Never mind.

Submission in Christianity is viewed different.

Good day.

Saw your response on bride groom also.

Yes, means husband and speaks to the role expected of the husband.

In reality, both parties groom themselves.

That's why how Taju behaves when in a relationship with Tori is different from his conduct with Tara.

prciouschika:
yes na

Toor!

Imagine all his wives throwing his stuff out.

Fuji house of commotion

DollarBuddy:
After marrying 2 wives and truly facing the heat of it, OP go soon create another thread;

"Help! my two wives want to kill me with quarrel And fight"

Someone said he would go to Facebook or Twitter instead.

anataala:
Let me correct you it’s only Muslims that have more than one wife in Nigeria even the followers of chris are not left behind, my neigbour is a pastor and he has 2 wife

Pastor of what mosque or shrine please?

mu2sa2:
He may not come back here to complain. He may go to Twitter or Facebook, or even beer parlours.

Hahahahahaha!

Sterope:
Yeah plus the fact that I am human, not a dog. I wasn't brought as a caged animal either. I went to school, met people, can read, can write, can talk, can critically analyse, can question silly norms so I expect another humanoid to treat me like a human. The way he treats his friends, so respectfully, his parents, so considerate, the way he conducts himself in teamwork, a great team player.

Too much to ask? Is his insecurity driving him to where he needs submission to communicate with another human?

Are you a Christian?

H2ho:
Hold this girl @Sterope

Who knows....she might be your second wife you've been searching for

Hahahahaha!

Sterope:
He could get a dog not cats or women. Dogs are more malleable.

I don't care about what you think.

What does bridegroom mean?

Toosure70:
I'm on number 3 now but I'm planning to do away with them and remain single for life. Fear woman.

Hahahahaha!

You want go from polygamist to single?

That's a leap.

prciouschika:
. Don't mind him...the brother still they learn work.

The two or more wives will join hands and show him pepper, drain and Chase him out

Chase him out kwa?

Brume01:
I and my girl were talking about wives relationship with mother in laws this evening and the discussion took a personal turn.

she told me that she doesn't want a really close relationship with my family like she having to visit or them visiting. she said it leads to 'see finish' and also that during visits they could have issues with the fact that she has a bit of a temper.
she gave an example of her relationship with her own mum who she isn't so close to.

now unlike her relationship with her mum, mine is the total opposite. I love my whole family with my heart and they do too, especially my mum. she even calls to ask of this girl wellbeing and they have never met b4.

so I told her that one thing I can never tolerate is my wife giving my mum or siblings a cold shoulder when they have no prior faults just because stupid Nigeria films tag mother in laws as bad. I told her I will wholly bond my family, both nuclear and external and will make sure that they live in harmony. I cited one of my uncle who successfully did it.

she tried to tell me how my mother may find fault with her. I told her to get those stuff out of her head and better realize that I can never sabotage one part of my life because I want to build a new one with her.

at the end she gave up. however when it was time to sleep, she decided to sleep on the floor instead of the bed. the thing made me mad but I said nothing. I'm just thinking of what decision to make tommorow.

I'm so angry because she was already casting dark energy on people that she has never met. the same people that have already open their heart in love and care towards her when they heard about us. now tell me how won't there be a problem?

I know my family, there have been marriages and they have all be harmonious with no bad blood and a girl is already bracing up a fight. like for what?

why are women like this?
my mum is a good person. I mean, there was a time a sibling wanted to seperate with his woman. I supported it because it was toxic but my mum shut me up and mended it even though she really didnt like the fact that the woman was crazy. how can that person be a bad person. I just don't know how to explain it, but I know my mum, she will just remove hand from my matter if my girl give her trouble.

me and this girl have been supportive of each other but I affirm that if she give me a reason for any hitch, I will break up with her. we can continue business but I won't marry her. never!

Since you said in another post that she would only break up for infidelity, then she needs to embrace your family.

If she can't solidify the relationship with your family, she shouldn't ruin it with her coldness.

Even if she has a terrible relationship with her own family, she must follow your standard and have a cordial relationship with yours and not hinder your relations with them.

It would be wise to lay your cards openly on the table.

thorpido:
I can't tell you exactly what to do.Just let your heart head lead you.

One thing I can say about you is the thing that took you to a guy who is a drunk,drug addict and womaniser till you made a baby with him is the same thing drawing you to this man.

You don't have depth and seem swindled with ephemeral things.

If na me talk am, I would be a witch

Happy new year.

Luckytechtv:
Autopsy will reveal the cause of death and they will free him to enable him divorce his wife in court.