Tadeknkeepcalm: But even what you did is wrong. Trying to make decisions for her. This current generation makes life difficult for a woman a 100× . So what if a woman wants to be a nurse? She's no longer good enough? What If a woman says she wants to be a housewife raising her children to the best of her abilities? She's still not good enough. Your grievance was that women are trapped and forced to live a "particular lifestyle" while you in turn do the same. Must every woman be a CEO or "boss lady" as you put it? A woman who chooses her career over her family is celebrated while the one who chooses family over career is ridiculed. Is that not the same evil in another form? Why do you always feel you should "cage" yourself.
@OP, I'm so happy your marriage turned out better in the end.
First, I think Boss lady or any other tag used by/for ladies is nonsense.
Secondly, I have no issues with whatever a child (not mine) wants to be.
You will agree with me that children would say 'doctor', 'engineer' etc than a nurse hence the initial correction.
While it is not bad to be a nurse, I find it wrong a mother teaching her daughter that nursing is for girls while doctoring is for men.
But again, she is not my daughter and her mother has the authority to bring up her daughter as she deem fit.
robosky02: Married men sleeping with their wife sister or maid: let's talk about it.
I was shocked what I heard my neighbours maid telling someone behind my window how my neighbour refused to settle her and what she is planning to do to him.
From the gist the maid said since she came over to live with my neighbour she has never had rest. My neighbour just say Mr John (I have to change the name for safety) lives with his wife and two little kids. And he is a contractor while his wife works as an accountant in a thriving company. So she leaves very early to work leaving the two little kids at home. Initially her mum was staying withe the kids till she left.
So now the man and the wife goes out together leaving the kids with the maid.
The issue now is, very early the man will dress up with the wife and escort her to the junction sometimes even enter car before her on their way to work.
But in less than 30 minutes he will be back home. By then the maid has drop the kids in school.
The next thing straight to the maids room and ...... Till he is done.
She said this has been going on for weeks. And the issue now she too want to gain or else we will make sure madam finds out. If he refuse to settle her.
Let's talk about it. Some case is the wife sister. Or even worse case
Na the madam dey worry the house keepers (boys)...
Abeg lets deal with this how to safe the relationship
Save which relationship?
A married person who values his/her marriage would not cheat.
The energy the husband in the OP uses to commit adultery would be best channeled towards building the sex life with his wife.
TheArchangel: You forgot to add that he is a misogynist, headstrong, his word is all in all(no arguments), he's never home always jumping from town to town from the age of 12, no meaningful means of livelihood, and he uses people for his own purpose to propagate his agenda. He subjected himself to constituted authority-Pilate only once and was killed in the process. Except I have a sadomasochistic fetish and men with good oratorical skills, Jesus-like men is a no go area.
What women need for marriage is a man not a god or men with godlike principles.
There was a caveat in the opening post.
If you a NOT a Christian, the thread would not make sense to you.
It would have made sense if you avoided the thread than post nonsense here.
please isn’t this part of what others have been insisting on and you have been arguing against? Because women are affected most therefore the responsibility should be theirs? Insisting on men buckling up and being sexually responsible is part of the prevention folks were talking about.
Please DO NOT twist my posts or lift them out of context to prove a point next time.
You are for sexual liberation which is fine. I have stated my position severally on this thread;
1. Men and women should be sexually chaste. This negates sexual liberation for both parties AND the view point that 'sex is just a physiological' need.
2. Women should take EXTRA precautions because they bear the brunt of sexual encounters gone awry pregnant wise. Some people suggested women study their bodies, others said no condom, no sex etc.
Chige777: Hello everyone. Please bear with me because this might be lengthy. I have being dating a Jehovah witness lady for about two years now.
She is such a wonderful and caring lady. The type that would make sure I am happy at all times.
Around November last year, she found out that I cheat. She even found out that I cheated that same week she came to my house. After much apologies and all, she forgave me and we continued. We kept having issues and reconciling. We finally broke up in February because they don't marry outside their church (I am not even thinking about marriage now) and someone in her church has approached her for marriage.
They are planning the wedding but she still comes to my house and we Bleep each time she comes. Today she came and her husband to be was calling her she refused taking the call. I asked her why is she doing this to the guy, she said even if she gets married tomorrow she will still be fuc...king me. Although I don't know the guy but I feel pity for him
Is she using you to satisfy her sexual needs?
Yes.
The question is why you have no value for yourself to be a intimacy gadget for a woman who did not consider you good enough to be her husband.
When you don't want to to something, you can have a million and one excuses. But if you want to do something, you will look for a way inspire of all the limitations.
If it's a small accommodation with relatives, at least they are not sleeping in your room. You can keep it quiet.
They have fan na. And if it's bad, something can be worked out.
Sex is not a church service that you need to prepare for. So if he says "quickie", he has to go and bath, shit and spray perfume. Where's the fun?
You will be shocked that she has a househelp but still complains of tiredness.
All in all, excuses come when there's no interest.
Kobojunkie: The relationship between Jesus Christ and His followers is most definitely a Master-Servant relationship. There is absolutely no question about that. What is in question is the belief that a marriage relationship should mirror the relationship that is between Jesus Christ and His followers. Here is what Jesus Christ says about serving two masters.
Since the mere thought that a husband-wife relationship should mirror the relationship between Jesus Christ and His followers stands in disagreement with Jesus Christ's own commandment not to worship two masters, what does that then tell you of that idea, as far as you as a Christian is concerned?
NB: I know that some so-called "men of God" pretend verse suggests that the only two masters man cannot serve are God and money. But I am certain you know that is wrong because God hates Idolatry(the worship of ANY other Master besides Himself).
@Slave-Master relationship:
Jesus was a servant leader and said it severally.
He never treated his followers as slaves. Infact, he called them friends at at stage.
Kobojunkie: Actually a husband, and a wife can both be and should be perfect for Jesus Christ commands this of all His followers (no gender exceptions made). You simply need to have a better understanding of what Jesus Christ meant when He gave the commandment and it can be found within the provided context.
Jesus Christ gave you a better illustration of the relationship between His Church and Himself in His many parables. Why not consult those instead since they do not feed into this inane idea that one gender is somehow held higher (in a marriage relationship) in Christ's Church than the other, an assumption that goes completely counter to Jesus Christ's teachings?
Where have I alluded that one gender is held higher than the other?
This thread has a very narrow scope: The Christian Husband like Christ.
When you open a thread on the Christian like Christ, tag me.
LewsTherin: Well, the lockdown is just beginning so you have oodles of time on your hands!
My opinion? Well I am a Christian and I do take my faith seriously so I agree with it.
T D Jakes said while woves are expected to submit to their husbands, husbands are expected, like Christ, to sacrifice themselves for their wives.
A husband's leadership of his family is not a master-slave relationship that many people like describing it as. My analogy for the headship of a husband is of a ship's captain.
There cannot be 2 captains on the same boat. That boat will go nowhere. The destination of a ship is not always the decision of the captain but it is the responsibility of the captain to get that boat to the destination agreed on. If any crew member or members choose to disregard the instructions of the captain on the operations of the ship, chaos results. The ship becomes a mess. The boat may never reach its destination. Heck there are many more chances for the ship to hit an iceberg and sink. If the captain fails to take into consideration the views of his crew, failures mount up and mutiny may be the result to the detriment of all on board. Both captain and crew.
And finally and most importantly, the captain always goes down with his ship.
Boss13: Nice write up. However, you forget the most important thing. The wife's obligation. Which is a duty to her husband. A wife exist to serve the husband and that is according to your bible.
liberalchick: 1. The fact that you have to exclude atheists already nullifies your argument. It means your moral code of “no sex before marriage” isn’t universal and adhered by all so it shouldn’t be imposed on all. How can you tell someone is an atheist or not?
2. Really? You know the customs and ethics of all the HUNDREDS of culture and local religions in Nigeria?? Customs of a family/sect?? And you know for a fact that they ALL preach abstinence before marriage??
3. On the top of my head I know two Yoruba families their custom is for the fiancee to become pregnant to prove fertility.
4. Stop being smug and imposing of your ‘morals‘ that you don’t even follow on other people, they should stay where they belong for you and your family.
5. Please desist.
You are a funny woman
1. Can you state where I imposed no sex before marriage on anyone on this thread? Enlighten me, I thought atheism means lack of belief in a God/god. How then can I talk of a moral code/ethics for atheists when they don't believe in any supreme being?
2. If I claimed to know, I would not ask. I asked severally of a moral code/ethics that encourages sex before marriage. I was expecting 'the Igbo-Oras have a moral code' or the Buddhists etc.
3. And I know Christians who commit adultery or Muslims who steal. What's your point?
4. You keep making this personally about me. . I should stop being smug Are YOU feeling threatened by my supposed morals (*pst pst, that I don't follow)?
5. I think you should be the one to desist from dragging my personal life/family here and imagining me imposing morals.
Omoluabi16: hehehehe.. Bukatyne the 'man pleaser' Don't forget these are times when we are told there is no right or wrong but you are FREE to do whatever you like. We only want to hear pleasing things, but not the truth.
Hahahahaha at man pleaser.
Anyone that doesn't want the truth shouldn't read my posts.
Acidosis: You're 100% correct sis. I have always wondered why women frown at virgin men. Somehow, a lot of women love broloshos
Personally, I place a lot of importance on a woman's past so any woman that refuses to show concern about mine is only putting herself at a disadvantage. This could also be the reason married men cheat in marriage. In fact, a lot women expect us to know all the bedmatics before dating them. They're never ready and willing to learn or grow with a man. Always looking for "food wey don done" -- money-bag, sex or porn guru, etc.
So men go all the way to sleep with anything that cross their path for the sake of 'experience'. At the end of the day, it becomes very difficult to settle with one woman. Old habits die hard they say.
I am very interested in the polarity between men and women and read up local and foreign materials, observe, listen to gist, see people's conduct etc.
Modern women don't want a sexually responsible man; they want to be oloshos however, do not be called oloshos
Unfortunately, men have not evolved to desire oloshos. Oh yes, oloshos marry however MOST of them dim their past. Plenty threads abound here to advice women not to disclose body count etc.
I remember a vlog I was watching when they guy was bursting the new body count for foreign women: Divide the answer by four. This is the US the land of the free and liberated, yet the girl (and she is not alone) feels obligated to lie about her body count.
Instead of them to insist the men buckle up and be sexually responsible and/chaste (which means the women also don't get to sleep about aka exercise their sexual liberation), it is to complain how the world is unfair and labeling women with a colourful sexual past.
Ariza: Lol Bukatyne, the person I directed those questions to made a wise decision by not answering them you know why? Because no answer will ever be right without any sensible person having to contradict himself or herself. They are questions that brings out the imbalance in a submission or reasoning. You fell for it by answering it and you can see the outcome yourself. Abortion is bad no matter who is engaged in it. It is a Sin for everyone. Medically it put every lady's life at risk, Married life or not.
2) It "increased" Yea... That's the word lol. But don't you think it would have been better if it never existed? Or it there had been a balance in sexual morality among all genders would it have been so bad as it is now? I believe if every hands were placed on deck to curb sexual immortality right from the beginning there won't even be any sex getting liberation or whatever. Lol . Same thing I've been trying to say since.We as a society have never based our norms on right basis that's why everything is changing so fact. Imagine contraceptive liberating women because the reason for Chasity was for the fear of pregnancy. Just look at that! We don't have good foundations, things we really stand for that's why we (society) are easily swayed. When only women were chaste, they were raped, manipulated and bought and introduced to prostitution which started from requesting for sex before doing favours. C'mmon we can't act blind to these things because we only want to hold a gender responsible.
We will not get anywhere with this. I will just advise women and sensible men to train their children both male and female better.
Miss, was there anywhere I said abortion is ok for married women or is defining a thing = encouraging/condoning it?
Tasking the gender at the risk of pregnancy is not the same as holding a gender responsible for extra-marital sex. You are preaching to the choir as regards telling men and women to be chaste; I am notorious for that here.
Modern women do not want sexually responsible men (they have always been the left overs); they want the right to be 'sexually liberated' without name calling.
I gave you a social experiment; do it and tell me the percentage of women who want virgin men or men as sexually chaste as possible.
Ariza: Hmmmmm I see. 1) Selective Morality again? Buka I know you are a Christian and I am too you like Bible references a lot. So Lemme ask was it stated in the Bible that "married women " can abort ? Was there anywhere in the Bible where practices are partly condemned or partially praised? Abortion is either wrong or right with no considerations. If a man and woman have enough children they wish for, let them use contraceptives not engage in abortion. That's what is preached in churches. Then. These married women are their bodies different from the single women's bodies? Are they immune to implications from abortion because they are married? Aren't they endangering their lives as well? Or are the foetus they abort any different? Perhaps they are made of irons and sticks so their lives don't matter. Please Abortion is Abortion, it is either good or bad choose a side.
2)You are mixing the modern world and the olden world in the same sentence. Men were never taught right from time, most women don't even get to choose who they want to be with or how sexually experienced they want their husbands to be back in those days, So how come women liberation these days is the cause of men's sexual irresponsibility that started centuries even milleniums ago? I don't get it.
3) Okay we wait till "to ba ti fomoloyun" (after he gets a lady pregnant) before we show them the result of diicking around and not guide them against it. Interesting.
Ariza, you are too logical for this emotional driven post. 1. Where did I state abortions are good? You asked for the difference and I stated it. Every Christian knows that abortion is a sin. No questions asked.
2. Men's sexual irresponsibility has increased with women's sexual liberation. Women's sexual liberation increased when the fear of pregnancy was addressed by contraceptives. Afterall, pregnancy and attendant risks is majorly the increased risk. If all women were supposed to be chaste, which women would the men sleep with? Very few societies were/are so hedonistic to have their men import prostitutes like Saudi Arabia or going to meet them at Dubai. So the men stayed put. I remember the pastor that counselled us said men in his time were given crash courses on sex and KJ jelly a day to the wedding because both partners were novices. Besides, if a man knew sex = pregnancy = shotgun marriage, he would control himself.
Romance › Re: Things You Hate About The Opposite Gender by bukatyne(f): 5:23pm On Jun 19, 2020
