₦airaland Forum

kiddkash:
the way you described the girl and the family, It sounds like my sister and my Family.



I hope that it is not my sister and Family for your sake

Hahahahahahaha

Aforxzy:
The girl is very stupid having several abortions for u. Infact you are both same same. So you want to keep bleeping her but not ready for marriage. Bros you have chop enough go do the needful..

@bold:

So so funny.

Well, the babe can be pro-choice and see nothing wrong in the abortions.

mrfranky:
Please Mods help push this to front page i need more advise please...

Have been caught up in a difficult situation. I have been dating this my lovely girlfriend for more than a year now. She is beautiful, humble, kind and a good girl. She is from a good family too. The parents are not too rich just average and doing very well. They are 2 girls and 3 boys and the elder sis is more of a slay queen i.e so beautiful and refuses to marry so the mother is hoping on this my girl to settle down, always encouraging her to settle down.

Now I am 29 years and I really love this girl and she loves me more than i actually love her, always ready to do my biding. She is just 22 and I wish to marry her someday but my finances are low. I have met the father and he said he doesn't need anything from me only things for the kinsmen or whatever but my parents are the opposite. Infact my dad won't even entertain my thought of getting married now because despite am staying alone, i still get small stipends from him monthly so he knows am not financially independent.

To cut the long story short.. My girl is pregnant again after several abortions in the past and she is refusing to take pills. She wants to keep this one and is urging me to come pay her bride price so we can move in together. This was not my dream way of getting married. I don't have a problem with her keeping the child but I just cannot marry now with my monthly salary of 40k which am struggling to feed and pay bills.

Please I need advice.
Pls no insult I knw the abortion act is wrong n never intended for her to take in again but it keeps happening...

Help me please i dont want to lose this lovely princess because she promise to end the relationship if she has to take another pill.

Well, since you can skin dive, o ti to lati shoko niyen.

Tell your parents, let them meet hers.

You are lucky there is COVID-19, do palour wedding and enter house.

Aunti that likes it raw should also think of any little non-stressful activity she can earn with.

Uncle, step up your game and look for ways to earn more money.

The starting would be very rough, however you can pull through if you are consistent, get your priorities right and diligent.

Congrats and Goodluck.

Some girls have mind sha.

You carry the pregnancy, you have the highest risk YET you will NOT insist he uses a condom, put yourself on the pill or protect yourself.

If her womb gets destroyed, it is the cross of herself and the unknown husband in future.

Using the enjoyment of today to ruin tomorrow.

boyjo:
Lol, okay.
What then constitutes "light PDA"?

A peck/kiss, holding hands, hands on the waist, shoulders etc.

Something that does not offend our sensibilities.

devafire:
You feel there's nothing wrong with it?
I think there's something wrong with it..

Different people, different brands of coffee.


But as long as I'm healthy, I wonder why someone who claims to love me will ask me to put off some weight, or change my hairstyle when there's nothing wrong with it. They are common signs of a possessive partner.

New age philosophy.

Just ditch the labels and numbo jumbo and speak to what actually affects you.

If your partner is not invested in you enough to tell you to change your looks as long as it does not cause harm, who will?

boyjo:
Ladies, when a guy who is not married to you yet, touches your privates in public, it is not love but disrespect.

No guy who loves you would disrespect you like that in public.
Kissing and all included.

You call it PDA, I call it "he is just using you".

Married or not.

Light PDA, maybe: Davido's type of heavy petting and all, na.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..So since my older sis got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back, all thru my university days whenever school is not on session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband. Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes...at times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her... thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do. Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live...she stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like...mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things..the only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time. My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday...should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

Some advises here already.

While you are with your sister, do what you can and leave the rest.

Also intensify your job search so you can move out as quickly as possible.

Funnily, she might mellow when you start working and buying salt and biscuit on your way back home.

Goodluck.

oluwaseyi0:
My story look a little bit like yours

Those days of my ND whenever I visit my aunt, I automatically assume the role of the one to do house chores her kids are lazy, as I continue to grow older it doesn't sit well with me, during my HND I learnt photography and start doing wait and get photos while staying with a friend, immediately I start earning small changes my dependency on her greatly reduced hence I don't visit often, before and during my service year I learnt programming and got a job immediately after service

I am grateful for all my aunt and her husband has done for me but the truth is I WON'T ACHIEVE ANYTHING IF I CONTINUE TO STAY WITH THEM MY MIND WILL BE MORE FIXATED ON COMPLETING A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF HOUSE CHORES RATHER THAN THINKING ABOUT MY CAREER


it's very unfortunate that that's a typical African family treatment

@adunni07 you are simply are adopted house girl and that is not going to change any time soon, no one is gonna let a passive slave free just like that, fighting her is a no no, it is a war you will never win but you will come out severely wounded, she will paint you as ingrate, your parents will rather support her, if you fight her her husband will rather support her and worse of all you will loose the gains and comfort her house bring

Your best bet is to find something doing asap, if it's to learn a vocational training, intensify your job hunting and act grown up, let her see you as busy, don't let her always see you as available, immediately you get a reasonable job your best bet is leaving her house

@bold:

Hmmmmm..

Tracyp007:
I gave birth last month via CS due to how I put to bed I couldn't breastfeed my baby that day so he was introduced to Formula even though I wanted Exclusive Breastfeeding for 6 months.ever since I've been feeding him with both breastmilk and formula.

My mother isn't in town so I had to go stay with my mother-in-law sister since my mother in law is not in the country so she can bathe the baby since I'm a first-time mother but I noticed each time I want to breastfeed my baby she's always inconvenient telling me I shouldn't spoil him with breast because he will get used to it.since 3 days I noticed my baby doesn't want to be fed with the formula he will push the feeding bottle out with his tongue and start crying so I decided to breastfeed him this morning then my mother-in-law's sister came from nowhere and yanked the baby out of my hand while Breastfeeding him and started shouting the baby must eat the formula that I must not breastfeed him,she fed the baby with the formula with force till he slept off

Mothers pls is this right?I gave birth to him don't I have a say over him?is it true too much of breast will spoil the child as she claims?pls I need your advice

You have always known your baby daddy's aunt doesn't like you.

So I wondering why you still went to do omugwuo in her house.

You know moving out is the solution to your problem.

The question is if you are willing or have the capability to move out.

Goodluck

Woaw!

Thread would be 10 years next year.

Age or better put time is very relevant: there is a time for everything under the sun.

Everyone would be worried of a child of 2 years old can't talk;

It would be a thing of wonder if a 12 year old was admitted into the university;

There would be whispers if a 40 year old man enrolls into 100L.

However, it is better late than never.

Goodluck.

devafire:
If my boyfriend asks me to lose weight, and I eventually do, he's going to have to find another girlfriend lol.

Why?

wasbo89:
Many women (adult females & ladies) are single because some women are liability, they have nothing to put on the table and some has bad behavior, can't cook & take care of the house, rude & don't have respect for her bf & some women are expensive to manage; men dislike such ladies. Some women are fond of selecting men to marry (they look for rich men to marry; instead to look for men that get skills and potential that can become rich person in future).

Secondly, many ladies are looking for single guy here and there but they could not get one to marry. They have forgotten that the population of single women are more than single men. You can see, there is mismatch here and you can now see why many ladies are single at 35years even more than that age.

After a women is single at 35years, many of them will start to look for Married Men to marry while some will still be hunting for single men to marry.

The only solution that will enable all the Single Women to get married is to start to consider married men to be an option because some married men are responsible.

You can go through one of my articles, that will guide you on choosing a married men to marry. Topic - "Marrying a Married Man is not a bad Idea and it must not always be Condemned". You can get it on www.nairaland.com/wasbo89/topics

Pls Note: Before all the Single Women can fully get married, Men must marry between 3 - 6 wives. If not, lots of women won't have husband.

What's your reaction to this?

You mean all the single men are married for single women to start considering married men?

amosrich:
What I'm trying to say is that,most times the court rulings dont mean the accused is innocent or the accuser is lying...

Or the accuser is saying the truth.

I agree with you.

The court just looks at evidence before it and makes a decision.

Rozz:
Thanks,im still growing

You are transforming into a beautiful young woman.

amosrich:
Lol..that's the irony of life ooo



Meanwhile,SAY NO TO RAPE

And say no to false accusations.

There is nothing like 'irony of life' in this case.

I am not seeing the drama here.

Lady X accused D'banj of raping her.

D'banj claims Lady X accused him falsely and sued her to pay 100m for damages.

Let her respond with her own legal counsel and they resolve the issue legally.

amosrich:
If the lady is telling the truth but her case cant be proved in court,maybe cos the accused has a better lawyer,that will mean she has been raped and jailed..lol

If the guy is innocent but his case can't be proven in court, maybe because the accuser has a better lawyer, that will mean he wasn't a rapist and killed.

ObaKlaz:
I don't understand why 90% commenters on SDK's blog and LIB are darn fools. Making a villain out of D'banj 'cos he chose to litigate. I quit those blogs 4 years ago, got back in for a peep today and still met more of the same dumbness from everyone there!

What problem did they have with Dbanj' s actions?

Isn't that the right thing to do?

Vyolet:
When they make laws to sentence rapist to death by hanging, they should also make another one sentencing wrong accusers to a 100years in prison.

I agree.

martineverest:
stop killing women

Oro buruku toun terin.

All the actors are female yet you say 'stop killing women.'

Toor!

folarr:
Hi Nairalanders,
This is a story that a young teen told me about his family, I really want to help but I don't know what to do:

"My mum and dad have fought before but then I think that they reconciled but now as the coronavirus pandemic has pushed us to the wall with our finances, my mum continually insults my dad behind his back to us, the children, saying things like, "your father is useless" and "he has no ambition" among other things. Recently, she said that if she was working that she would make far more money than my dad. She regularly insults us saying that we are lazy and stupid like our dad. I have contemplated suicide but my friends tell me that it is a quick way to hell and I don't want to tell my dad because it could lead to a broken home for me and my siblings. What should I do please help us"
Please how should I help this boy in need?
Cc: seun, lalasticlala, phal

Your young friend needs to toughen up and realize sometimes, we get thorns where we expect roses.

Sadly, the home is broken in spirit and principle though they are physically together.

He should find his path and start working towards it so he can be soon free from the shackles of his mother.

He can also tell her the effects of her emotional abuse to clear his mind.

Adrian9:
Even dangote drives himself. My aunty in her MADAMISTIC way of life dey pay drivers to carry her around for ordinary Highlander!.
If she come get G wagon nkor?

If your aunt is not collecting her driver's salary from you, I don't see how it is any of your business.

Zoie:
I really wish his dad can accept him as whoever Bobrisky has chosen to be. I still get mixed feelings towards transgenders, but they're not hurting anyone. Really, they aren't. Apart from "what will people say"?

You won't understand until you have invested in your own child and they turn out transgendered.

Were dun wo, ko se bi Lomo.

Koboko444:
The old man's face is filled with : anguish, sadness, regret, sense of doom, fatal disposition. That's the gift bobrisky gave him.

As in, what a gift.

Vyzz:
Now look how ugly he looks without all the make up




Look at his old man's face....


He is disappointed

Which father would have Bobrisky as a son and not curse the day he was conceived

Oluneutral:
You're not confused. You're the one confusing confusion. Even the gender you attached to your moniker can attest to it.

Hahahahahahaha

Omuneizzy6:
Someone Sent Me This;

I have pleaded with my wife not to chew gum but the more I plead, the more she chews and it irritate me. Maybe I should just let her go, but I really love her.
What do I do, please help

You want to divorce your wife because of chewing gum?

And you are talking of love?

LordKO:
Mama de mama! You get unmarried sister wey be like you? No vex, I de ask on behalf of my friend wey no sabi use Internet.

Your friend wey no sabi internet

LordKO:
Personally, no. It's easier to penetrate into my bank account than to approach or penetrate the firewall of my emotion. So, it depends on each individual because all of us aren't of the same temperament and ethical leanings.

I agree with you.

It is easier to throw money at issues/people than invest emotions in them.

GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.

Hmmmmmm

Real dilemma.

No family friend in Nigeria? Family friend as per a girl you grew with in same church WITH her family.

Not foolproof anyways.