₦airaland Forum

coputa:
When a man sees a woman he likes,he proposes to her,engages her and then marry her.But some men have the desire but the fund is not there,this has lead to some women with financial strenght to foot the bill of the marriage. This does not last long,as the woman always bring the issue up at the slightest opportunity,unless of course the man pays up,he will remain in bondage.

Hathor5:
Are you high or something?

Sterope:
No, we need to encourage women to choose better.

We lose more and we are more compelling to act as the parent. Unfortunately, it is a fact that cuts across marital status.

Hathor5:
I know what the point is and I have never argued against women taking responsibility. I have argued in favor of everyone taking responsibility. There is no good reason why everyone should not. None.

JONNYSPUTE:
..ok bye. You win

Hathor5:
Which is easier for you? Take responsibility for protection? Or get AIDS? And have your children all over the place?

sassysure:
I know, I just remembered a relative we lost due to abortion. It was horrible.

missjo:
I never said they can't, I implied it's harder. This is why I used the word 'embarrassed'.

Culturally, premarital sex still has taboo status. It's mostly forgivable for males but all hush hush when it comes to females. This is one reason why sexually-active single women may find it embarrassing walking into a pharmacy to get birth control patches, pills, or condoms.

sassysure:
Don't mind me.
Na vex

liberalchick:
That’s not how it works.

It’s the state that brings a criminal case to court not the victim.

She has made the allegations on social media, that’s her choice on how she wants the public to know Dbanj is an alleged rapist, it’s her social media. The onus is on Dbanj to clear his name (if he’s bothered) and he has two options, civil and criminal and he chose to do neither.

The onus is also on the Nigerian police to investigate and treat her accusations as a crime, and for the state to prosecute Dbanj if there’s evidence in the case.

Rape victims do a lot of things, some keep quiet, some want justice, some want revenge etc. This post is about Dbanj’s fake attempt at clearing his name.

P.S. she does NOT have to think about how Dbanj will react, she had a story to tell and she told it on her social media, I doubt she’s worried since his N100m demand is meaningless. If he’s that bothered about clearing his name, enough to compose a ‘heartfelt’ Instagram post why couldn’t he just seek recourse the right way, perhaps because a lawsuit will open him up for more scrutiny?

Only the guilty seek to shush their victims.

sassysure:
The truth is that majority of us don't know anything about how their system works.
Aside std, if u are not sure of how your system work, please go and buy CD yourself and keep at home. Inside that part of your handbag only you have access to.

All these schools nowadays don't teach girls preventive method.


I was introduced, educated on how to play safe in junior secondary by a gyneocologist that the state govt sent to girls school in my state then. It was like further maths then. Made no sense. By senior secondary, sharp babes started teaching us in dormitory. Before we left school we became pro at reading and understanding our individual cycles.
Today, that's what I rely on as a woman with a healthy sexual appetite.

Except std, u want to go raw, learn your body. Your partner should be the type that will accept no when u say u are not free.

But oir girls, the latest fashion, gossip, is what they prefer.
I haven't seen any post since I started using this site where girls teach themselves how billings method work. Rather, they are interested in buying postinor 2.
As for raw sex, it will continue till forever.
Why not educate yourself.

I took me not less than one yr monitoring my cycle and making mistakes to learn how to use it. I don't use any contraceptive. That book is every girl's bible.

Those who do sociology and or social work use that book.
Love and life ....By l mcsweeny. I don't know if I got it right.

JONNYSPUTE:
....But thats the truth

liberalchick:
It’s a bully move because this isn’t a real attempt at clearing his name. It’s bullying if he’s more interested in shutting the victim up than actually clearing his name.

If he’s really serious about declaring his innocence and punishing the girl for lying then he should go to COURT and get real damages. This is just posturing to manipulate public opinion.

sassysure:
Hey calm down. If I get pregnant today. It's my fault totally. Don't ever blame any man.

Unless the man raped you, u are 100% responsible for yourself. In fact 200%.


By the way, na you go carry belle, not man.
Na you go receive societal scorn, not man.
Na you go born with all the wahala, not man.
U go train pikin, not man.
When pikin grow as it's done in most tribes in Nigeria, man will come and carry pikin.
What did you gain?
That's penny wise pound foolish.
U destroyed your life and opportunities because you couldn't say no to a man who want to do it raw, if u want raw, u refused to learn about your body, or go for the harmless morning after pills or even contraceptives.

U people are still yet to learn.
Emotional tantrum will not stop you from being tagged a baby mama or killed in abortion office or have destroyed womb.

missjo:
Your point please before I can respond

liberalchick:
Because it’s a bully move.

liberalchick:
He did NOT sue her. He never filed a lawsuit in court.

Temhellen:
You are not getting my point.
Female genital mutilation affects a Woman with attenuation of sexual desire , maintain chastity and virginity before marriage and fidelity during marriage. A lady who is not sexually arouse, who doesn’t have d urge for sex tell me how does she wants to satisfy her husband. Maybe you have not come across any lady suffering from that, the feel pain during sex. They even run away from it.

Ishilove:
It isn't real. It's all over the internet

MoodyQueen:
So that's what you deduced from my post?

But ofcourse...
Your archaic brain never fails to disappoint.

pocohantas:
Of course I know it is based on circumstance, that is why I added “all things being equal”. If every other factor is in place, minors should be with their mothers. Most times I have seen men take kids, they dump them with an elderly female relative. Meaning they know women will do better with caregiving, so why take the child away from the mother (a woman too)? It is all spite.

In all this separation/divorce wahala, parents need to put aside their issues and understand the kids are the major victims. Whatever is best for the kids should be done.

As for remarrying, I no fit o. I no fit marry Nigerian man twice. Once it is on record that I have once been married, we move.

pocohantas:
Oh, I get you now. So, a man doesn’t owe his step kids financial support or rather, he shouldn’t be forced to do it. I quite agree with this. Would we also understand with women who say they don’t owe their step-kids support? Or do we call them wicked stepmothers?

While you have a strong point, we should also understand it is not this easy in the real world. I don’t think anyone would be happy being in a marriage with someone who draws the line in how they treat the step-kids.

Not like it is compulsory to even re(marry).

pmoye:
Both are to blame? Definitely. 100%
But who bears the consequences? The woman. Your story just perfectly illustrated the point. If she had damaged her womb she would have lived with it for the rest of her life.

At the same time it is a reckless man who has unprotected sex with a woman when he is not ready to be a father.

Few years ago I was home visiting and this long time female friend who heard that I was around decided to visit me at the hotel where I was lodged. She arrived when I was down in the hotel's conference room holding an important business meeting with some people. I had told her over the phone about the meeting that it would take long and we would be finishing later in the evening, that she probably should wait for my next visit to the country. She said no, that she wouldn't mind sleeping over. She came over, was taken to my room and she waited till I was done.

Later that night after every every, the water started getting warm and the steam rising, the cloths falling to the ground, the bodies touching, the lungs expanding, the muscles tightening.... all the sherenren...time to dig in, I removed condom, tore it and was about wearing it... then this babe held my hand and said No. That she wanted it raw. Wanted to feel everything... Shooooo! A babe I hadn't seen in more than 2 years! Shooo! Too much discussion would kill the vibe, but i had to tell I never have sex without condom...She asked if I didn't trust her. Emotional blackmail. I said it's not about trust.... Accused me of rejecting her ...blah blah blah.... To cut the story short, we didn't have sex that night. If I had allowed myself to be cajoled I am 100% certain it would have ended in tears.

missjo:
This is dependent on the society a woman lives in.
I believe single women in Nigeria are too culturally restricted when it comes to the issue of sex, this can make them feel embarrassed if they need to walk into pharmacies or see doctors to get birth control options.

I've been getting access to birth control since I turned 21. Waking into any pharmacy here for these things is quite normal and no one looks at you funny. Bought male condoms sometimes as well, to ensure he does not come with an excuse of not having one. Getting pregnant or not getting pregnant is my decision.

MoodyQueen:
100% about women?

OP, are you suffering from selective amnesia?

Or is it just convenient to ignore the community pricks who refuse to wear condoms and those who engage in the act of stealthing??

Adunny07:
Thank you...I just wanna start working soon.

craleonic:
Go back home and apply for jobs from there. Only visit her when you need to go for interviews in her state.

The big problem with the situation you are in is you would not have time to properly search and prepare for jobs. Not to talk of developing skills you need to stand out in the labour market. Before you know it, five years will be gone down the drain and you will be wondering what happened. Not knowing that you have been occupied with the full time job of being a housekeeper all along.

PrimadonnaO:
How does a financially unstable person keep having careless sex? Carelessness that has led to pregnancies... not once, not twice! That’s selfishness and wickedness on his part! Did he stop to think for a minute the consequences of having an abortion? Of course he didn’t... he’s not the one who undergoes the process. The first abortion didn’t even rest their brain to be careful!