₦airaland Forum

Stephenomozzy:
It's hard to comment one's opinion o... This is a marriage. If it was a dating relationship now.. Men would have said something.

What you should do... Stop checking her phone for the time being so she's not overly on alert (deleting messages), put away your apprehension for a while and love her as your wife... Start showing her attention more than before that she will be so busy with you that she won't have time to be online to talk with figure 3.

Especially in this lockdown period.... Are you a boring person? She may not really be cheating (in the general sense of the word) but just having fun discussions with someone who makes her feel good..... Fill that void, engage her same way you engaged her before you both agreed that marriage was the next big step for your love.

She can't leave the house to go an "cheat" so wean her off from the guy before lockdown is called off!

Operation Win Your Wife!!!!

I don't understand.

If the husband is boring, is the wife not supposed to spice up things or show the husband what she wants?

Julietsim:
I thought married women who have experienced this will advise me but it is clear that it is only unmarried guys who are talking. Maybe I wasted my time coming to ask here. I have discussed it with him severally. His reply is "would you prefer I get it outside?. I cannot allow my husband to cheat. Because it hurts alot

I asked you some questions, you did not answer.

I am worried he is trying to blackmail you with adultery.

What exactly are your concerns? So you can compromise a bit and tell him to compromise a bit.

PasD:
SEVEN MEN YOU MUST AVOID AT ALL COST.

1. WICKED OPPORTUNISTS.

They prey on weak moments. They show up when you are in a bad shape. There is a weakness in almost every woman that makes them most vulnerable when they are in one kind of emotional issue or the other.

Generally women are like that. When you show a woman consistent unusual benevolence, especially when she is emotionally frustrated, she will try to look for a way to support you back and since a woman's body is her biggest treasure, she is tempted to use it. She may not offer it, but may not resist if you try.

Again, when a woman is emotionally frustrated, she begins to crave for a shoulder to lean on and this is part of what makes her vulnerable.

Wicked Opportunists take advantage of these unguarded moments and use and dump the women.


2. SEXUAL PREDATORS.

They ruthlessly exploit women. These are the kind of men that see women as trophies to be won rather hearts to be loved.
They act like predator wild animals-THEY CHASE and they are good chasers!

They do everything to get you and when they do get you, they have their fill and dump.
You need the Holy Ghost to escape these ones.

One common thing about women is the fact that they love to be chased. Even when they are married they want their man to maintain that initial energy. So these men get their preys, devour them and leave them bones and carcasses.


3. WOMEN BEATERS

'Woman Beaters' can apply to men who verbally, mentally or physically abuse women to make up for their own weaknesses and insecurities. They usually don't have much going in their lives and it makes them feel better to pick on women to make up for their failures__Urban Dictionary.

In our world today, there is a high increase in domestic violence.
Women are created to be loved and cherished not to be used as punching bags.
Listen, once a man lifts his hand and beats you for the first time, he may never stop.
To men there is always a first time but scarcely a last. If you find out he is a women beater, RUN!


4. INSECURE AND OVERLY JEALOUS MEN.

It is usually the insecurity about a man's position in your heart and life that fires up his jealousy.
But then, its becomes a big problem when jealousy turns to rage!
He wants to be your google map, hack your phone, set you up to see if you are faithful, always asks you who called etc.

They want to be your all in all, i.e your dad, mum, elder brother, teacher, pastor, they just want to play all the roles in your life. It is doubtlessly good to make efforts to keep your woman but you must also know that there are limits since she is an entity herself.


5. CHRONIC CHEATERS.

Let's get this straight, cheating is NEVER a mistake, its a choice. People know exactly what they are doing when they are flirting with the opposite sex.
I mean, look at all the processes involved in the action. You should forgive your partner if he/she cheats but quit when it becomes a lifestyle.

This guy confessed to me one day that he 'accidentally' cheated on his spouse and I asked him, "you mean you accidentally paid for hotel room, accidentally collected your balance, accidentally texted her the room number, accidentally removed her bra, accidentally removed her underwear?" And to the shock of my life he said "YES SIR" I told him "you are accidentally mad".

First is happenstance, second is coincidence, third is devil's action. Don't ever imagine that a chronic cheater will suddenly transform into a faithful husband because he is married to you. What a man is before the wedding day is what he is after the wedding day! Wedding does not change people, people make decisions to change.
So, until you see that change you hoped for, don't go that road as yet.


6. AKA GUM (STINGY MEN).

My dear sister, love is demonstrated not only in the other room (which you must avoid because its a sin) but also in the giving of gifts. Its understandable if he does not have the money but if he has it and cannot spend a dime on you without a fight, he is stingy, avoid him.

Ladies, avoid rich men who would prefer to take you to a traditional doctor than to fly you to London for child delivery, e get why.


7. COMMITMENT-PHOBIC MEN.

Please and please, STAY AWAY FROM THESE MEN! They just want to waste your precious God-given time for nothing. Stay, they will not stay. Go, they will not go.
They are just hanging there like a dry leaf in a rainy season.
He is never ready for commitment but he is always ready for the other room.

I have found out that men with commitment phobia are very sexually active and perhaps even promiscuous. In all your falling in love, never fall in love with a man with commitment phobia, it is nightmare.


BONUS:
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MEN.

Truth is, some men can be strangely cold hearted. They treat you like their fellow man. Its no news that women generally are more emotional and men more rational. Women need attention.

A woman needs you to call her for no reason at all. Men must therefore learn how to be a bit more emotional and women a bit more rational. When a man is distant, does not ask you about yourself, does not call or text, is self centered, treats you poorly, it is either does not love you or he is cold hearted.

Getting involved with such a person who is emotionally unavailable can be so frustrating and often leads to heartbreak. You deserve a healthier and a happier relationship, stay away from them.

By Pastor Douglas Jonathan

Follow on Fbk https://www.facebook.com/pstdouglasjonathan/

and IG @douglasthesongwriter

For more

Very nice

faith2kool:
In your late 20s, everyone starts getting concerned about your marital status. Your aunts, parents, older siblings, friends and even frenemies. Once you hit 30 and are still single, more pressure builds up. Ladies especially are subjects to this pressure more than guys.

Guess what, when these ladies appreciate that you mean well for them and you want them to get settled, sometimes it’s too much and wishes that you would just let them be. Check out these things that single ladies in their 30s are tired of hearing:

1. The clock is ticking

She knows this already but probably, she is yet to meet her match. So, you don’t have to rub it in.

2. You should just get a kid

First, not everyone wants kids. Secondly, maybe she has been trying to get a kid because she also knows that the clock is ticking but the efforts haven’t born any fruits, yet.

3. All your agemates are married

Really? This is the last thing you should tell a single girl in her 30s. She knows that her agemates are married but she can’t just marry a random guy because she wants to be like her peers.

4. It’s time you find yourself a man

Well, maybe it’s not yet time for her. You don’t know what her priorities are. Just let her be.


5. What are you still waiting for?

People wait for many things. She could be waiting to be financially stable or she could be waiting for a Mr Right. Because sometimes it’s not always easy to land on a man who matches your standards.

6. I know of a good guy who is still single

Unless she has requested to be set up with a guy, don’t try to hook her up with your male friends.

7. People will be thinking you are your kids’ granny

This is just mean.

8. You should join tinder, there are good guys there

By the time she is 30, she undoubtedly tried or considered trying online dating but for some reasons, she chose another route.

9. How are you still single?

People will be like, ‘you are so beautiful, how come you are still single?’ But beauty is not all that matters

10. Maybe you are just too picky

No, it’s not about being picky. Sometimes Mr Luck is not on your side and you end up kissing a little more too many frogs.

Source: https://tigblog.com.ng/2020/04/26/10-things-single-ladies-in-their-30s-are-tired-of-hearing/

Funny thread.

Truth is that most people (male & female) who are not married at a age range they set for themselves begin to pressure themselves first.

I see ladies nearing 30 and above always willing to meet the next guy or get a husband to marry and we celebrate them when they do. We even pray for some ladies doing well that is why I laugh when I read some posts on NL aka fantasy land.

The men are not left out and i know how many guys peeps try to match make or some whose new toasting line is 'I want to marry' and they are 100% serious.

I know someone who dated his wife online for a few months before marriage.

God help those who are looking for partners.

FirstRepublic:
Someone is ruining my marriage and you’re only concerned about number wey dey exposed shior

Is it the toastee that is running your marriage or your husband?

Now you know your husband is expending so much energy chasing another woman when he should be chasing you, there are some options:

1. Forgive him, know what went wrong and continue the marriage
2. Forgive him, know what went wrong and divorce so you don't make the mistake of picking such a husband next time.
3. Keep this to yourself and see it as one of the issues of your marriage.

Decide what works for your situation.

UnknownT:
Make I call Juliana tell am say she dey for Nairaland

Truecaller returned the name as Falade Juliana

E ku se!

Palantir:
The "mogbe" was sent by the wrong actor

I thought so too

Mikelarteta:
Something really has to be done against how people use social media to spread fake news around. You may not know how bad it is until something negative affects you directly or someone very close to you.

Very true.

OK then.

Safe delivery to her when it is time.

WorldklazzBae:
Family issues..... Infact the story is too long and she's a nairalander that's why I don't want to tell.

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Unless she is certain of where she is running to and/or can sustain herself, she might be worse off.

She should lay low and work a post runaway plan.

That would make whatever she is going through easier to bear.

Frankbikk:
I am a Christian. Sometimes,it is not easy keeping oneself (from sexual sin).This period has even made it worse because of the lockdown. Before the lockdon,i can go to work and return by 7. I will cook and bath and before you know it,I am already asleep till the next day. But now, staying at home twenty four hours a day. Except working online. The urge is on a high side. I usually think getting married is the only way to reducing sexual urge.
Does getting married reduce sexual urge? Does your wife always give it to you anytime you want it?
I wanted to get married so as to reduce the urge drastically. But do you think this is the solution?
No insult. Matured mind only

Where did you get the thought that marriage 'reduces' libido?

Your question should be 'will you always satisfy your sexual urges'?

It depends on your wife and yourself.

Julietsim:
U don't understand. Having sex everyday can be tiring. It also affect the Virgina. U think it is easy for women? It is not. I sometimes have pain because it is too much. We didn't have sex until we were married. I never knew he was like this.

What is making you averse to making love with your husband as much as he wants/as possible?

1. Tiredness?
2. Pains? Is this due to dryness or the styles?


What exactly is the issue then we know the solution and/ or engagement for compromise.

Jesuisbelle:
Your husband is controlled by his bodily urges, it's a sex addiction and you have become his personal sperm disposal unit if you don't take a stand. His type will still cheat, watch pornography because it's always in his imagination. I can see some women think their only role is to service Oga just because he paid your bride price and made you a Mrs!!! You are a woman, someone's daughter with human dignity! If you like continue submitting because you want to please him to your own unhappiness. Sex is not everything in marriage. Nne don't kill yourself, dat everyday own is a very big No!!! To me, if u don't have strength explain to him if he gets angry allow him to get angry in peace he will be alright las las, no be today dem don begin dey get angry on matter like dat

.

*speechless*

I am just laughing as I reading posts about 'child abuse/maid/rights' in Nigeria.

I wonder when we would learn to solve our problems with our own methods.

There are many poverty strike families that their child becoming a 'househelp' gives that child more hope than staying with their parents.

So many families that there is no hope for schooling, shelter or clothing and going to work for a family gives them basic needs.

Go to public schools and children grateful that it is one Uncle or Aunty sponsoring them there.

So when people complain of children hawking: several NLers have said that they Hawked at a point to augment their family income or fend for themselves through school.

Let us learn to analyse our peculiar situation and solve it with methods that work for us.

sassysure:
And he was watching them for 5 minutes
If i put egg for fire, e never done

Nairaland have some types of crazy people with weird fetish that they tend to exhibit under the guise of anonymity.

Hahahahahahaha!

People dey NL which in reality is a reflection of the society.

babasade:
So something happened this afternoon
My house girl of 14 years old was having sex with my bro in-laws son of 8years I caught them in my kitchen store was looking at them for almost 5 minutes without them noticing.
If you see the way the girl was trying to level down with the boy Ehn cos she is a bit taller than him, she hasn't even started menstruating She was carried away and trying to feel every bit of it. God i Was speechless. She is definitely going back after the lock down
After so many interrogation, the boy said it's their second time and he was lured.
But really do parents with little kids need househelp because of this kind of exposure.

Standing for 5mins ke?

And they were not having sex.

The maid (underaged) was abusing your nephew.

WorldklazzBae:
Not really. I was speaking with a friend yesterday and she was telling me she feels like running away from home. That's the reason for the thread.

Why does your friend feel like running away?

1stola:
It seems you want to run away abi?

Don't just run under the dick of a lover...


IT WILL END IN TEARS!

Hahahahahahahaha!

kponkedenge:
Hopefully we all stay safe and take this thing seriously.
Is not only here in Nigeria people have downplayed the severity of this virus, it is everywhere..... People think it's a joke until it hits them.

Don't wait till you catch the virus before you do the right thing..... Try and maintain social distance and avoid touching doorknobs, railings and physical contact.

The story of the modern man.

Not willing to accept responsibility for their actions.

It is your right to be tested Yada Yada Yada.

Oko Kim congrats.

HeadNigga:
doing porn once makes her a IndecentStar. You could call her "former" tho.

Por. N or sex tape with her ex?

Not saying a sex tape is right

Vivianagoja:
Forbes saying he's worth 1.3billion, he's saying he's worth 3.3billion which one should I take?

Forbes has told you to divide a person's self-proclaimed worth by 3

DonFreshmoney:
Kanye west can never be a billionaire...

Someone that was owing debt to the tune of $53M, he had to beg Mark Zuckerberg for money few years ago

What kind of bad Belle is this?

LeRabbite:
By teleporting. Husband that can’t teleport is that one husband?

Toor!

Rozz:
1.Hardworking in the sense that he can maintain a BALANCE in whatever situation he may find himself...2.A God fearing man is a complete man, he will never be caught wanting because he has the fear of God.A man who has the fear of God brings nothing but joy and happiness to his loved ones.

Ok, thanks for your time.
1. A man who can 'maintain a balance' (I don't understand what balance means here) in whatever situation is not hardworking: he is self-disciplined or moderate.

2. A man who has the fear of God can not be caught wanting.

I hear you however, you have not answered my question:

What qualities do you need in a husband? I want you to think about it.

If you cannot define what you need in a husband, you might not be able to recognize and appreciate them when they come your way.

Acidosis:
In whatever you do or read, please note that the very fact that a man and a woman live together as husband and wife doesn't necessarily mean their marriage is "successful". Being together for one, two or three decades is not a true test of marital success. You can't be tolerating your spouse or threatening divorce and tell me your marriage is successful.

This thread to the best of my knowledge is not for homes where tolerance and endurance are the main ingredients. Love is supposed to rule, not tolerance and endurance for rubbish. Please take note OP. You can't be enduring rubbish and tell me you're successful.

Who vex you this afternoon?

You are right though.

We often confuse longevity of marriage with success.

Marriage is to be enjoyed not endured.

LordKO:
You have taken bribe. Lol.

Hahahahahahaha.

That's the meaning. Used it to depict a place that would not be 'influenced' by feminism.

LordKO:
Where is the location of "Igbo Tutu?"

It means 'fresh/thick bush/forest'

sassysure:
They do and their wives still forgive them.
The reason women forgive is societal not financial.
Society hardly accommodate divorced ladies and most divorced ladies normally have custody of the kids.
How many men will marry a divorced lady with kids in Nigeria?
Kids that will go back to their father in no distance time?

Aside that,most women are busy doing my love my love that from their house to cars etc are all in the man's name. She will move out with nothing.

We never learn. I have preached this often. That car he bought for u, if he said it's a gift, your name should be on the papers else, he is just lending you his car to drive.
Don't be too excited about that car yet

@bold:

Very true

bdchange:
The reality I see around is most women know that their husbands cheat yet still remain in the marriage because they have little choice as I explained above.If you tell me to start giving examples that I have seen...hmmn I will write till page 20. I asked one why he was cheating on his wife and he told me that the wife knows, only exception is that he must not marry another woman after her.

Most women seem more averse to polygamy than adultery.

MetaPhysical:
Tell government to stop victimizing and intimidating women. Do we want to see little babies start dying from hunger? These women need to go to market and trade so they can feed their babies abeg. Which kind nonsense is this?

Tell that driver...and any driver for that matter... to stop packing people in that type of truck, they can all suffocate to death because of poor ventilation and depleted oxygen.

Victimizing and intimidating women?

How was that done in this case?

holocron:
This is total nonsense. Government is insensitive and heartless. These are poor market women on their way to buy supplies they sell at their home markets for the upkeep of their children. Perhaps their children will go hungry this week because of this.

What of the driver and conductor arrested and would probably need to bail themselves?

The women have it better.