₦airaland Forum

crackkhaus:
Lol, you lost me when you said the punishment meted out to women not found with the token of virginity is not from God.

You do understand that the entire book of Deuteronomy was God's specific instructions given to the Israelites through Moses just before they crossed over into Canaan, right?

Like I said earlier, the only argument you should be making is the validity of the law in present time.

So the God that commanded no-fault Divorce in Chapter 24 turned round to say in Mark 10 that He allowed it because of the hardness of their hearts?

Have you heard of the laws of Moses?

@Bold:

Is anyone arguing that non-virgin brides should be stoned today?

crackkhaus:
Lol, Buka there are some arguments that are not even necessary because the reality is enough.

There is NO woman that will take over the financial needs of her man indefinitely without getting fed up, not even YOU. Forget if I know you personally or not, the easiest thing you can do here to prove this wrong is to type it for everyone to see that you don't have any problems being the sole financial provider in your home for the next 5years - 5years is even too long, but I stretched it out given your Christian faith which might allow you to persevere than most.
However, at the end of the day, even you don't want be the sole financial provider over your husband and home for the long term, there's no need to deceive ourselves here.

As for you saying that because men talk about money a lot, then we should make sure we have plenty money (Dangote kind) to earn eternal submission from a wife, well, that is not a valid argument.
Nigerian women don't need a man to be excessively "billions" rich before they behave humble around him, just have more money than she does and the magic is 100% complete - that's how you people roll.

It's that easy.

When you or anyone else is really ready to have the discussion of husband/wife/money/headship/sole provider, I will be ready.

You can't tell wives to be subservient to their husbands and do chores because he is the sole provider and wonder why they don't want to be sole providers when the husband loses his income and is not ready to switch roles.

A housewife would keep the house warm and prepare a warm meal for her husband because he would be tired as he has gone out all day to toil. A non-earning husband (he doesn't deserve the honour to be called a househusband) would be home all day and wait for a wife who went out to toil to make his meal else she would be tagged 'disrespectful.'

I raised a lot of points in my previous posts and if you really want to discuss this, would address them.

Leave me out of this. You don't know me to assume what I would or wouldn't do in a certain situation.

Belafonte:
My desire is to have plenty money, peace of mind and no fake love. So, thanks for your prayer.

Now, to the issue of your question: in an ideal marriage, money is not the determinant of headship of the home but we do not dwell in ideal times. As the days go by, we see and even experience a massive shift in culture and even religious teachings. And we know culture to be “way of life”. At the end of the day, one must face reality and insure themselves against self delusion.

Please leave culture out of it.

It is only my faaji at parties, dressing in my native attire for parties, dancing and spraying especially when there is live band singing your oriki with talking drum. O lawd! etc. that I align with culture. You now step down with Amala and Gbegiri or Pounded yam and Epogi soup!

In an ideal marriage, the husband does not lord it over his wife or treat her shabbily because he is the head. He leads by example and with love. He genuinely loves his wife and only seek her greater good. They make decisions together and he does all he can to make her happy. His love makes her glow from within.

A traditional man cannot behave traditionally and expect to reap the benefits of an ideal marriage.

'Nigerian' husbands and wives full ground so there is enough to go round.

crackkhaus:
You're deliberately missing the point to defend your understanding. This is not about what I think or how I feel about the issue of virginity, it's about what the Bible you hold in high esteem says.

No one here (well at least not I) is implying that ONLY women should marry as virgins. Sexual immorality is a sin for both genders, the verses dealing with this has already been given to you.

However, a specific law & punishment was directed towards women found not to be virgins. None was directed specifically towards men (as in, what is the punishment for a man found to not be a virgin before marriage?) - and this was the point I was getting at.

What you should be arguing against is the validity of that punishment in the old testament, because everyone already knows sexual immorality is sin in both genders. But why is a specific punishment given to soemn and not to men, that's the point.

My question was initially directed to the other poster because that was what he implied so he understands my question. He did not find any answer so he started quoting other verses.

Like I told the other guy, the Bible contains many things: direct commandment from God, walk-around of culture, proviso for issues, personal admonitions etc. The punishment is that verse is not a God-originated punishment; that is my point.

The Isrealites had the culture of accusing their wives when they were tired of them that they were not virgins which was punishable by death in their culture.

So the men were told: 'if you accuse your wife and her parents can prove her virginity, you pay them some stuff and never divorce the woman. If her parents cannot prove her virginity, stone her to death.'

Remember that the man had to start the accusation so the issue is not even marrying as a virgin or not, the issue is the man loving the woman or not. The stoning verse is in Deut 22. In Chapter 24, he can give her a divorce if he doesn't like something about her meaning instead of saying he did not meet her a virgin which is punishable by death, he can say 'he doesn't want her again and give her a divorce.'

The above is also the reason why when virgins are raped, the men are commanded to marry her and never divorce her. Because if he did, the next husband would obviously not meet her a virgin and can evoke Deut 22 or 24 on her.

A lot of these things were corrected in the New Testament where Christ really made the thoughts & plans of God known.

See Deut 24: 1-4 where no fault divorce is allowed:
24 “Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. 2 When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man. 3 But if the second husband also turns against her, writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away, or if he dies, 4 the first husband may not marry her again, for she has been defiled. That would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as a special possession.

Compare with Mark 10: 2-12
2 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?” 3 Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?” 4 “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”[a] 5 But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. 6 But ‘God made them male and female’[b] from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife,[c] 8 and the two are united into one.’[d] Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.” 10 Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. 11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

Another famous example in the Bible would be slavery.

What happened to him?

If he feels led to give them, why not?

Some people tell their parents to pray on theirs.

sassysure:
That is very insensitive of her.
I was shocked to the marrow.

A child she dont know his fate tomorrow?
A child that may open an unimaginable doors to her just because she used that child to do a selfless act.
We are Nigerian women and we know how we are.
Most of us that have kids unknowingly mock the rest who don't have any around us yet we pretend we sympathise with them.

That woman won't steal her child. Just an avenue to heal

If she dont know it, in hospitals, a woman who lost her child is allowed to go and stay with new born.
Why do doctors allow that?
Cos we are so self centered in this country, we sometimes behave worst than animals.

I lost a child once. Not my first but I was on constant supervision cos I nearly ran mad.
My friend parked all her family to my house and started going to work from my house.
When she came up with the idea, I was just nodding my head. She took over everything for like one month.
The day I screamed at one child for mistakenly pouring hot soup on his brother was the day she said I'm back and packed her family back to her house.
Let us show love.
This country is filled with artificial or eye service love that's why we are where we are today.

YPP

yanabasee:
If she's Yoruba, forget it.....

Hahahahahaahaha!

It is not the wife, it is the family.

I was toying with this idea or a garden wedding till my mother told me to shelf it for my kids.

Seeing the way my parents were joyous and celebrated during my wedding, my kids better shelf it for my grandkids

The party go loud gan by God's grace.

Wedding is like our sendforth for our kids after nurturing them to be upstanding members of the society.

Like we would say: Having a child is breaking even; having a grandchild is having profit.

Sanchez01:
My eyes have been greatly opened on marital issues, all thanks to an ongoing process. And one area I'd state that most women miss it is when they feel they can tell off hubby's family that their space is theirs. In the event that that happens, it results into a full blown war between a once adorable lady and a supposedly loving, close knit family.

It is not the place of the woman to stamp that or echo the idea of hubby's relative in being usefl aaround the house aroundnd this is where the talk of PROTECTION comes in. It is the prerogative of the man to protect his wife from his family because he best knows the kind of home he is coming from.

Unfortunately, some men come off as way too traditional in mindset and feels no woman born of another have the power to 'dictate' how his family should move IN HIS OWN HOME. If a woman 'strays' under a man with this mindset, it is likely her days in the house are numbered.

There are so many factors at play with these that women do not pay attention to.

1. The person they are marrying and his level of wisdom.
2. The family they are marrying into and their understanding of boundaries.
3. The man they are marrying and what his family expects of him.
4. The man they are marrying and the responsibilities that he inherited from his father.
5. The number of his siblings.
6. The man they are marrying and his understanding of leaving and cleaving.

Somehow, all of the above greatly contribute to whether or not a woman would die of boundary issues when wedding happens with that charming, handsome man.


No one buys it. Young couples should not entertain live-in relatives, particularly for the first years they'll spend together.

In the end, it is all about maryying a man with a functioning brain.

@Bold:

Brotherly, you are 100% right.

I just feel that the husband's family should be able to really treat the wives as they would want to be treated.

Like I say, the type of husband you marry largely determines your experience.

When I tell women here to shine their eyes and well-behaved so they get quality men, they think it is out of 'hating women' or been 'misogynist.'

JONNYSPUTE:
.. This is where I'm different from some married men.
I can do the cooking on my own if the need arises because even before I got married I cook very well. Being the first child in my family,I took care of my younger ones back then because Dad and mum were always busy at work. So it falls on me as the eldest.

My wife knew me as a very straight forward man who takes no shits from anybody. Be it her,my parents or even from her people.

I'm an advocate of,you want peace,we have it and if you don't want peace,I help you scatter the home.As long as she behaves in ways worthy of a married woman,I will keep doing my best to make she and kids happy but if otherwise,I rest my case.

@Bold;

Such objectivity brings peace.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. And what is the man of the house doing?. Read my first comment,I do blame men for such stupidity in the home. My wife can't be going to the market after delivery wether it's my mum or hers that came for Omugwo. I will surely put it to anybody that comes around that my wife is on bed rest for atleast 6months. if her MIL keeps sending her to the market and the husband is not angry about it,who do you blame?.Note. If at all that my mum is too old to go to the market in such situation,I will do it myself for the sake of my wife.

I don't want to drag the husband into this.

The MIL knows what she is doing and doesn't need her son to tell her.

I will bet the Sun that the MIL would not expect her own daughter to do market runs and the rest.

And in some cultures, the MIL comes for the Omugwo.

These days, some peeps just rotate it or the two mothers come at the same time.

zexy2030:
Im scarce o..madho

You are scarce ke?

What is 'Mad ho'?

1Sharon:
Hmm..seems she doesn't want his progress

What do we say?

Hangulsaram:
Is there anywhere in the Bible God expressly said only women should marry as virgins? Is there anywhere that even virginity (male & female) before marriage is made a direct commandment?

The bolded was your question, and you also made mention of the male & female.

Talk of virginity, “A Bed undefiled” there simple me that non should have sex before marriage.

I don't know the magic you did, I had to re-quote you somehow.

Hebrews 13: 4 NLT
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

Hebrews 13: 4 NKJV
4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

The bed undefiled referred to here is the bed after marriage.

urahara:
Ephesians 5:3 -

"But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints"

1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 -

"God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor."

Matthew 15:19 -

"For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies …"

Matthew 19:9 -

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

Jude 1:4 -

"I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God's marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ."


1 Corinthians 6:9–10 -

"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

1 Corinthians 6:13 -

"Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body."

1 Corinthians 6:18–19 -

"Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself."

1 Corinthians 7:2 -

"But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband

You remember we are coming from your position that God places a premium on female virginity in marriage more than the male.

Now you did not find any verse, I see you decided to answer the question Is there anywhere that even virginity (male & female) before marriage is made a direct commandment?

All the verses you quoted tells us to flee from fornication and adultery which we must at the point we give our lives to Christ. This means that whatever state you give your life to Christ, Go and sin no more.

Some people* are lucky that there were properly brought up in the Word of God and did not have sex before marriage; some others due to experiences of people around them decided to run away from sex before marriage.

All the above are good and commendable; so is not stealing, not lying, not having idols, not slandering, not causing disharmony etc.

Another reason people should run away from sex before marriage is because sex is spiritual and God's plan is for both parties to be chaste (virgins) till marriage so they are only bound/one with one another.

Would some people listen? No; Some other would find themselves in situations they can't help themselves. Others would probably not understand what sex is and substitute it for another void in their lives.

The Bible however says 'If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Behold, all things have passed away and all things have become new.' At that point, you are expected to run away from sin and be holy. And fornication is not the only sin.

James 2: 10 - 11:
10 For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. 11 For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.”[e] So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.

It is a cultural belief that the Bible esteems/ advocates female virginity above that of males.

*: You notice my use of people, it is deliberate referring to males and females.

You have not answered either of my question, I am still expecting the answer

@bold: Just kidding.

Hangulsaram:
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
[4] Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Does the Bible verse above say anything about marrying as a virgin especially to women?

My challenge is still open.

Please note I have not implied the Bible encourages fornication (sex before marriage). However, nowhere is there a direct injunction to women for them to marry as virgins.

When you give you life to Christ, the command is 'Go and sin no more'. If you cannot handle your libido, marry and do not commit adultery.

crackkhaus:
1. You're asking questions pretending as if women don't already misbehave once they start paying ALL the bills in the house.

2. Was it not on this same section someone asked his wife to pay her own children's fees, and he received the insult of his life?
What about the one that was considering running away to live with his mother after he lost money?
Or just yesterday, one asked his fiancée to purchase her own wedding gown, what she will wear on her own body, and she's not picking his call again?

3. See ehn, any man that loses his financial standing and is unfortunate enough to be married to a woman who will start bossing him around, he better avoid her as much as he can and make sure he is trying very hard to get his finances back in order...not forming head of house all over the place. He should even temporarily move away for a while on his own accord, if it comes to that.

The only woman who will take care of a grown man who is not contributing a dime without complaining after sometime, is his own mother - there's no Nigerian wife or girlfriend like that.. You can quote me anywhere, I will defend my statement. NONE whatsoever!

4. Sometimes when I see women wondering why a lot of men don't joke with their mothers, I am always beside myself with laughter - they must be blind or stvpid, or both.

1. For the women that misbehave, why are they misbehaving? How did the man behave when he had money? We don't need to go far; on this thread, you told women to either pay their bills or be submissive to their husbands (I am thinking subservient) because submissiveness has nothing to do with who has the money. Let's assume the women take your advise and are opinionless, subservient and docile because the man is the breadwinner. Do you honestly think that they would remain that way when the husband no longer has the 'money'? If a family operates 'he would pays the piper, dictates the tune' model, why would someone who no longer play the piper want to dictate the tune?

2. As for the fiancee ish (she is actually his wife, they are married traditionally), what is their culture? If he is an Igbo man who knows the groom carries the bulk/all the wedding expenses, I would understand the wife's annoyance, I only frown at her reaction. I have attended Yoruba weddings where it was felt the groom did 'too much' and the girl's family are termed bad, uncultured, evil etc. I have seen cases where a Yoruba groom offers to do some stuffs and the girl's family says no out of 'pride' and 'self-respect'. The school fees one is a case; the one that wants to run to his mother's place because he did not tell his wife he was sacked and swindled of his severance pay by his sister. It would be good to know how they started.

3. I will agree with you for the type of 'pay the piper dictate the tune' marriage most people advocate here. If a husband and wife were living in love and harmony, keeping one purse and taking joint decisions before the husband loses his job, it will continue. Like they say, 'as you lay your bed, you lie on it.' You can now decide to gently 'straighten the sheets' in LewsThe.rin's words. Or a marriage where there was a clear divide that the husband provides while the wife takes care of the chores.

Except you have dated or married all Nigerian women, you can't speak for them. Let us agree that only Nigerian mothers can take care of a man who is not contributing a dime. You will agree that this Nigerian mother was/is a Nigerian wife. It is either most of these sons are fatherless (that's why they enjoy the care of the mother alone) or it is just another stereotype about Nigerian women how it is believed no Nigerian husband can be faithful.

4. Maybe the mothers only took care of their sons abandoning the daughters else the sons and daughters should carry the mothers in high esteem if it was about providing or sacrificing. It is the duty of parents to care for their kids who will in turn care for them (without disrupting) the martial bond. Most of the mothers clinging to their sons (funny how they do not cling to daughters) do so because they have replaced an emotionally absent husband with the son. We Yorubas like to refer to kids especially male ones as the 'mother's husband' especially when the primary husband is irresponsible or absent. In a well grounded family, the parents would nurture their kids to become upstanding members of the society and go back to their pre-children martial state especially when they have the money/health/time.

Belafonte:
I am old enough to know that the man immediately loses his respect. He is head in nothing but name and title.

Every idiot knows that women only respect money. How many times have men on here been advised to forget women and go make money so they can qualify for a woman’s love? Have you yourself not read it, at least, twenty times on nairaland?

Forget all this scaremongering, we done wise. We sabi as e dey go. Men must make money or suffer disrespect. Shikena

@Bold:

I see.

I wonder how many 'money' an average man has in Nigeria.

I don't base my principles on what I read here, I have read a myriad of strange things.

Let me ask you: In a traditional marriage where he feels he should be in control, the wife should shut up and let the man take 'charge', what value does the man have when he has no money?

God give unto you as you desire. And please make a lot of money, sure you don't want small 'respect'.

eni4real:
This your style is too aggressive o..

The lady no get Libido again now

Did she state that in the OP?

If she doesn't hurry, things will get worse.

I won't be surprised if the husband say another lady is pregnant for him.

Aiye le, o soro

lavylilly:
My thoughts as well.

Hmmmm.

Hopefully, money is available for Mama truly needs it.

I was rooting for her and Saheed back especially when they acted a move together.

Anyways, congratulations to her.

Even the father is wrong.

The child's virginity is not 'important' to Jesus, her giving her life to Him is.

urahara:
Sister these are the direct commandments of the Lord.

Yahweh commanded all these. Go and read the book of Leviticus.

Why should I leave the Bible out of it ?

Is that not the moral compass of Nigerian Christians again ?

Deuteronomy 22:13-21 New International Version (NIV)
Marriage Violations
13 If a man takes a wife and, after sleeping with her, dislikes her 14 and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” 15 then the young woman’s father and mother shall bring to the town elders at the gate proof that she was a virgin. 16 Her father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. 17 Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, 18 and the elders shall take the man and punish him. 19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels[a] of silver and give them to the young woman’s father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.

20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, 21 she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.

The Bible is not the moral compass of the Christian that thinks it is ok for men not to be virgins before marriage or unfaithful after marriage while the opposite hold for women. I call them 'Nigerian' Christians.

@bold:

I asked crackkhaus a question, let me ask you also:

Is there anywhere in the Bible God expressly said only women should marry as virgins? Is there anywhere that even virginity (male & female) before marriage is made a direct commandment?

crackkhaus:
Bukatyne leave talk.
I know the exact verse where that law about stoning women is in the old testament.

Provide a Bible verse that deals specifically with male virginity before marriage, specifically... just like the one on women like that person talked about above.

The old testament said a lot of things: Most were workarounds to the situation & culture in existence, some were commandments e.g. the Ten commandments given to Moses on the mountain.

Is there anywhere in the Bible God expressly said only women should marry as virgins? Is there anywhere that even virginity (male & female) before marriage is made a direct commandment?

I would like to see the Bible chapter.

urahara:
The Bible instructs that a woman who is found not to be a virgin on her wedding day should be stoned to death at the door of her father's house.
Nothing about the man.

The woman that Jesus saved from being stoned to death because she committed adultery, nothing was said about the man.

If you really study the Bible, you would understand the difference between the customs of the people, God's provision to tackle people's wickedness, peoples' actions and the direct commandments of God.

I bet you are about going into how chastity and sexual faithfulness is expected of only women:

Carry on.

Just leave the Bible out of it.

toprealman:
As long as same dad is not going about sharing shawarma and Pepsi for same outcome.....

Or maybe that's how he used the equivalent of Sharwama and Pepsi in his days.

urahara:
I doubt.

Even the Bible is biased on men losing their virginities.

The Nigerian one?

NwaAmaikpe:





This is true and biblically proven.
Jesus was the son of Joseph the carpenter.

And if Joseph could almost ditch his betrothed wife because she lost her virginity to an angel how much more his son Jesus.

Could you keep the Bible off your sick jokes?

brimdans:
Dear nairalanders, this is my story and headache.please read on and advise me.
We moved to a new neighborhood around 2013,I was not down with the area, so I hardly stay there. But late last year around December I came back to stay. My issue is that I met this yellow sweet girl, she happens to be my younger sisters friend, she has a boyfriend too, who happens to be an acquaintance since childhood. Meanwhile there's this friend of mine, who happens to be her friend also. I called my friend one night and he told me he's in Sophie room (not real name), I should come and meet him. When I entered room, the girl treated us like a VIP, she served us a very delicious spaghetti with meat allover. She begged us to come the next day. Meanwhile she stays in her boyfriend's place, though he's not around, he travelled for work. My issue is that the girl always calls my friend and I to come over.. Anytime we refused showing up she feels really sad. I know she likes me, because I read her moves. Her boyfriend is now back, but she still insist we come and she still serves us with these delicacies, I'm not really comfortable, but I don't know what to do, infact yesterday evening we were at our usual hangout spot within the area, I knew she was going to come there, because it's close to her house, and she did come.. her boyfriend met us there. I'm sure he's beginning to suspect something. I told her I need another female friend, because we're too close, she refused, that she's enough for me why do I need a new friend?. Yesterday after our hangout we kissed, because her boyfriend left before her and that she doesn't want to go home yet and I was a bit tipsy, one of her friends is waiting for her, and she doesn't want to see her. My issue is I can't deny having feelings for her, I don't want to betray her boyfriend's trust and even that my friend is jealous, if she shows me a little more attention than him and I must confess, I feel slightly jealous too, if she gives him some attention. Please sorry for the mixed write-up, this is my first time. Thanks for reading. Advise would be greatly appreciated

Your problem is that you have too much time on your hands.

Else you would not be investing emotional resources on a girl that is neither yours nor are you wooing to be yours.

Shibaraba:
I believe you have bigger problems

How does the fact he needed financial assistance in 2017 negate his story today?

Has he said anything about his financial status on this thread that you had to dig out a time he was in need?

That is very insensitive of you.

Belafonte:
Patriarchy is not a sin. It is not a crime. Any woman that wants a man to take care of her is plying by patriarchal rules. If you detest the patriarchy and want to abolish it, no problem. Pay your own damn bills.

You either turn down the patriarchy completely or shut the eff up and submit to your man

crackkhaus:
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/msy.gif


This should be framed and hung up in the National Assembly if possible.

Then what happens when the bill paying man loses his source of income and the wife steps into his shoes?

They start matriachy in the family?

Or the man still wants to claim been the head while he can't foot the bills when money was what defined his status in the relationship?

I like this type of thoughts and life has a way of turning round.

With the above, Nairaland males should stop whinning when they lose earning power and their wives no longer want to reckon with them.

That will be now be 'having your cake and eating it.'