₦airaland Forum

MrPresident1:
Now you will have to answer that. I am waiting

MrPresident1:
Spiritual leadership
Moral compass and guidance in the home
Physical and spiritual protection
Teaching of his household
Custodian of the household doctrine
Disciplinarian
Loverboy Mr Romantic to his wife
etc etc

pocohantas:
You people should leave the bible alone o.
Oh ye fornicators, liars, cheats, adulterers... only clutching to your bibles when you want to quote that submissive line.

God cannot be mocked!

MrPresident1:
Men should stop looking to share household financial responsibilities with their wives, all the financial responsibility in the home is owned completely by the man, the woman may choose to drop something but she is under no obligation to do so.

Men, take care of your home like real men!

thorpido:
A survey reveals that most men who do house chores are lazy

A man who goes to work and still comes back to do house chores is lazy ?

Mzuzu

uchkochi:
WHY DO WOMEN TAKE QUIET MEN FOR GRANTED.. SHOULD HE PRAY OR JUST CHANGE?

I will try to be objective as much as possible. I have heard different men lament especially the quiet ones. So I will just list out what most honest, well meaning men are going through.

1. A wife earns above 200,000 naira while the man earns about 100,000 naira. The wife starts getting pompous. The husband provides for his home and even settles the lady's debt. Yet the woman denies the man sex and only allows him when she is in the mood.

2. The woman demands for details of how the man spends his money but she does not tell the man how she spends hers and when the man asks she gets angry and start unnecessary quarrel.

3. Everybody envies the marriage from outside they see it as perfect because the wife acts her best and shows more love when people are watching.

4. Is it a crime to be quiet? She decides what he wears but the man has no right to decide what she wears.

5. The man's manhood no longer stands when with her, he cannot explain why?

6. She has stopped washing the man's clothes or even cooking because she claims too busy. Even the man now washes her own clothes.

7. This man meets his responsibilities very well.

8. The pride of the wife multiplies when she discovered she is pregnant.

From this it's like most ladies prefers domineering men and the ego of a man is what makes him a man and not the responsibility.

Are all quiet men going through this? A concerned husband is asking. Should he pray or change.

fellis:
Welcome to reality where meek people get oppressed.

Its not only wives oppressing quiet husbands it also goes the other way round.

There was a thread on this section where a woman complained that her husband shouts at her and makes her look stupid in public beacause she keeps him quiet.

People need to fight for themselves becaus majority of human beings are potential bullies just waiting for you to give them a chance to intimidate you.

WHOcarex:
Arabic? I guess you guys are Muslim. If yes, sooner or later there's going to be a second wife. So prepare yourself. As for the apology, he only did that because he got caught. Henceforth, he's gonna clear tracks.

Bye

safarigirl:
she's just a very pretty girl who happens to be dark-skinned, just like there are very pretty girls who happen to be light-skinned.

What me I have issues with, is the pity party some have formed with this whole melanin rush that they now glorify even average looking people as gorgeous beyond words, just cuz they are dark.

We shouldn't give anyone a pass in the looks department just cuz of their skin color. They do same thing with light-skinned people, some ugly light skin girl will be called pretty just cuz of her skin color.

Abeg, some of us get brown skin, and we don't get any passes. Remember us in your melanin battles

solace2013:
Cynthia was my girlfriend at the university about 12 years ago. She parted ways with me when we were in 300 level because of a guy from her hometown who her parent wanted her to marry.
I haven't been hearing frequently from her since then. I learnt that they got married in 2008. On June 30 this year, she sent a friend request to me on Facebook which I excitedly accepted, as a girlfriend I haven't heard from in more than a decade. Within one week of chatting with me on Facebook messenger, she started telling story of woes, how her Hubby's business isn't working normally anymore, how she lost her banking job, how paying children school fees and feeding has been difficult etc. I have given assistance on two occasions (totalling 50k), but she have persisted in making financial demand. It's not that I'm too buoyant financially but I have been managing to be above waters. I'm confused and embarrassed sometimes when a supposedly married woman with kids would unashamedly ask for financial assistance from an ex, I intend to still assist one more time and after that no more, her pestering is becoming too much and nauseating, what do you think great guys in the house?

truthsayer007:
Abi o, if a girl does this for me. I can close eye and buy her that iPhone7 jejely....habba, she took 3 months to do this thing. Which means she can even sacrifice more in other serious matters.

nNEOo:
Using Bible to play romance OK I ZAGADAT

cococandy:
His ex wife took 80% of his wealth after the divorce. In Nigeria?
Tell me another story.

Dude is a broke scam artiste who knows how to manipulate women into spending money on him. then when they realize he's full of stories, the relationships go south. Those play boys know how to give the appearance of wealth when they don't even have shishi in their accounts. Let her not be fooled.

Your friend is already setting up office for him in V.I. Lmao.

cococandy:
And this too

BTW how are you?

PaperLace:
The way some people 'prescribe' sex these days ehn, you'll think it's panadol.

Isn't lovemaking an act of bonding; done with love and outta love?

He isn't under any spell, why is it only men this spell dey catch? 'cos they don't stay in one place, they always use their 2left legs and waka to the spell.
Dude doesn't love the woman. If someone keeps saying something, look into it_ that's his/her heart desire.

She can only get him back if he wants to be gotten back, I don't think there is anything she'll do now that the other woman ain't doing. She can only try...hope for the best while preparing for the worst.

Some women are suffering, in another life_ I will come as a water dispenser.

5minsmadness:
This woman Ha'pum aka biko.
You no dey tire for quarrel?
You no fit read the post waka pass?

If you read the opening post you will see where the Op clearly stated she was looking for advice to save the marriage. We all know feminists (not you cos you dont qualify as a feminist) hate any advice that has to do with the woman appearing subservient to the man. Your announcing that you are "trying hard" to find a correlation between feminism and my post is you trying to spark up the thread, not me.

Already you have given the usual answer, "give him the divorce", we know, we know, but in this case she is looking for something to salvage their marriage. How's about you respect that decision ([b]Her decision) for a change?[/b]

Abeg leave my matter if you don't want to spark up the thread. Merry Xmas.

5minsmadness:
There is something wrong with the foundation somewhere.

Rarely do you find men that want only one child up to the point of insisting the wife ties her tubes.

Unless he didn't want the wife to begin with.

She quickly had the second, and then agreed to tie her tubes. Means he was adamant.

Has always been quarrelsome but now has taken it a step further by asking for a divorce.

All through this the wife has no issues, not even when she saw the kid on his phone. She sounds like she is desperate to keep him. Is it possible she did something desperate to marry him?

I think the man was in love with someone else. For whatever reason he didnt marry her but married your friend instead. Probably planned on leaving the marriage early but life happened and two boys came out from the undesired woman. Whatever barrier preventing him from marrying the first woman is now gone ans he is now ready to continue life with the other woman. The baby girl may not be his, but is most likey the child of the other woman.

What she should do to keep him?

Feminists wont like this, but:

She should do her best to please him. Serve him his food on time, keep a cheerful face around the house. Have sex with him when he wants but she must not be the one to initiate the sex. Let there be no situation where he has the opportunity to reject her sexual advances. But when he asks for it, let her be a sexual goddess in bed. There is a reason for that.
Let him not find a fault in her that will give him the excuse to leave, because that is essentially what he is looking for. That man will eventually leave the house, even if for a short while. Let it be thay when he leaves he will have reason to miss her. This is what will bring him back to her and not forcing him to stay.

Then of course she should pray. There is nothing God cannot do. In fact, if possible, she should convince him to pray with her every night. It will remove the inherent hatred and speak to his conscience.

All the best.

Sanchez01:
Lol... This Christmas is off key. Shrimps are hard to come by here, even at the malls.

ifemola:
I loved him.we got married after my service

baby124:
Let me give you some pearls of wisdom:

People marry for several reasons. Some for love, age, beauty, security or kids. Not everyone gets married for love. In fact in my observation most don't. But the most important factor that probably keeps most marriages going is respect and a willingness to work on the marriage. Also a willingness to be selfless and change what is obviously sabotaging that marriage.

One thing I have learnt in life is that there are all kinds of people. A majority of people lack deep thought. If you are a thoughtful person you will realize this. A lot of us are shallow and act without truly thinking. We also mostly act selfishly. When you truly realize this you will know how to handle people more. The things they do will not hurt you. Instead you would look at things from a practical angle and decide what you want to do.

Also, another factor that most people don't understand is mental illness. We Nigerian's tend to try to explain an obvious mental instability. A person that constantly puts you down and degrades you is not mentally ok. A person that cannot empathize or lacks empathy, is not mentally ok. A person that can attempt to sleep with your sister, is not mentally ok. A person that willingly puts those around him, their health and safety is jeopardy is not mentally ok. A man that cannot listen to his father, will not make a good role model as a father. That is if the father is a good man. We don't know the reason for that rift.

At the end of the day, we have the power to decide what we accept in our lives. You have to be selfish about yourself to survive in this life. But not selfish to the point where you hurt other's. Just selfish enough to know your limits and know you cannot change anyone. You also must have a plan for your future. If you have a plan for your life my dear, anything trying to derail that plan will quickly be thrown away.

Lastly, dont let a man with obvious mental and self esteem issues bring you down to his level. You look in the mirror and know you are not ugly. He says that to keep a hold of you to abuse you for his own sick desires. He keeps you there with abuse to have someone to frustrate when he is frustrated. You came to this world alone, and you will be buried alone. The path to your happiness and fulfillment does not lie in any human's hands. Be wise and wake up.

Sanchez01:
That's a well assorted fried rice. Below is a Jambalaya rice.