₦airaland Forum

Sorry I just ignored the thread after opening

alutacontinua: Cool stories!

Thanks

ileobatojo: Awww @ the little boy wanting to buy an hour of daddy's time (with daddy's money lol)!







Great quotes!

Thanks,

It was very touching

Some threads on Nairaland like 'Should a married woman sacrifice her dreams' etc. and other similar threads prompted this thread...

I want us to discuss The Woman as a topic under the following sub-topics:

Her Destiny: A woman is first a individual i.e. Shade, Titi, Ngozi etc. before being a wife, mother or daughter and she has a destiny to fulfill in her generation. This is what God has planned for her to be

Her Dreams: This is what she aspires to be (which should generally be in line with her destiny)

Her Talents: These are the gifts she has embedded inside of her to enable her fulfill her destiny

Her Man: This is her husband/fiancée that supports her and vice versa to achieve her destiny

Let's discuss on what we feel on each of the sub topics...

NO BASHING PLEASE

DailyNews: The only immaturity 99.9% of married men are guilty of is: chasing other women!

But then, I sometimes don't blame them cos men are naturally polygamous beings, even though today women don't want to accept that natural imperfection in men due to christianity and modern civilization and the fight for gender-equality

The only way to stop your husband from desiring to sleep with other women or chasing single girls is to make sure that he is in constant relationship with God!

Aside the special grace of God and total submission to the word of God and fear of God, no man, I repeat, no man can marry and live forever with one woman without cheating on her!

Take it or leave it...u can listen to what u want to hear or believe what people say to appear too holy, it won't stop me from being honest to the best of my knowledge.

DailyNews, you are yet to answer my question:

Are you a Christian?

Extom: You're about to be in the crossfire...
If you should decide to damn the consequences and tell her, the ripple effect or chain reaction it will cause might be more than you anticipated.
Firstly, you have your roomie to deal with. There must be some benefit she's getting from the ordeal, and she wouldn't take it lightly.
Then you have your Landlady. You might think you're helping her marriage, but in the long run, you might have just deprived her kids the privilege to grow up with a complete family(as it may lead to divorce). If she's as good as you say, then leave her be. She might know already, and you stating the obvious might not go down well.
Then finally, you have the villain of the day to deal with, your LandLord. B4 it got to the point where he's now doing it in the same roof with his family, it means he's been doing it. He won't take it lightly with you at all. And remember you're in his turf(as you're a student, off campus in his land). Plus I know that Karma is still the only sister that Life has(they're both mean b*tches). He's gonna meet his waterloo soon enough.
LASTBULLET: You can't be held responsible for things you never said!!!

ITbomb: Dont break someone's happy marriage , she would find out by herself and if you dont like it , talk to your friend or get the hell outta there

cherieb2: Pls, don't make that mistake of telling the wife, u might just end up breaking a home or distroying the peace and joy in her family. Instead try τ̅☺ talk your room mate out of it, Ȋ̝̊̅ know its not going τ̅☺ be easy especially if he showers her with money and other material things, but just try τ̅☺ make her see reasons with you and let her know how bad it is....but if it persist and your conscience can't take it anymore, then maybe you will have τ̅☺ leave the room and the compound for her, get a room elsewhere, n get another room mate if need be.

It seems the definition of a 'happy' marriage is changing daily!

@OP: Pray very well about it and if you can't tell her, you can leave the house when your rent is due...

Whatever you do, do not confront either of them so that they do not misinterpret your actions and try to hurt you in future.

[quote author=edie_mafio]seeking theses dream of a thing is the easiest way to break a marriage,period.Man goes to hustle,woman also goes to hustle then house help will hustle the kids abi?..fair enough if you want to work,that i believe can be arranged in consistence with the needs of the family.
God forbid,marrying someone with dreams like mount everest,today in lokoja,tomorrow in ibadan,party meeting and you expect me to accept that because u believe there is gender equality, Abia[/quote]Like it has been said, not every woman has a dream and there is a woman for every man.

Whatever your choice, it will be pure wickedness to marry a woman with dreams and try to stifle them after marriage.

Water seeks its level; seek yours.

Goodluck

@OP:

I believe that it was a custom in Corinth at the time as Paul mentioned.

If you want to go that route, then you will have to talk against wearing of suits, building balconies and altars, mixed cropping, shaving of beards, working on the sabbath etc.

It is well

The funny thing is that such man will not slap a colleague who says worse things!

OP, I kind of shut down at where you said men and women are not equal.

Goodluck

Dear OP,

I am happy you did not enter one chance!

Please desist from her like a plague and stop using your money to buy love! Even if you spent N10m, a girl that will not stay will not.

You say you are inexperienced? I m not really better in that area but I have watched enough films to know some guys use the 'I am S, working at Y place' etc. Except you are been interviewed for a job, it is not really of importance where you work or your position esp to your prospective girl.

If you can help it, please avoid unemployed ladies not that all working ladies are saints.

Goodluck with your search.


You guys should go to when is the right time to ask my boyfriend for rent money' thread to see what's up

jay bee: I just cant believe what i'm reading to be honest with you.

So it had be acceptable for a husband to go and seek sex elsewhere because the wife is pregnant and obviously can't trade during the later stages of her pregnancy.

Like I would say, there is a man for every woman.

As far as both of them have the same POV, then no problem

jay bee: Never heard something so ridiculous in my life. So marriage so sacred is now being viewed alongside key principles of trade by barter.

I honestly don't know why this is still dragging geez

This thread is really an eye opener...

I now see why divorce rates have sky rocketed with issues of incompatibility which mean simply mean nothing to trade anymore...

If a husband losses his job or wife cannot 'give' sex (which in reality the husband gives) or cook, na die be that!

Sunbellar: Is she really in distress? I think it's her own approach to sex. No one eats her piece without a real cost and I felt you had similar views

Please reread my posts,

We DO NOT share similar views...

Sex is not a rent making activity

pickabeau1: Lets leave it aside for now... when you guys are more civil to dissenters

You guys ke?

I thought it was one person per moniker?

crystalsaint: My husband is a good cook....he helps when necessary. I dont always compliment him cause he knows his capability when it comes to cooking.

Dear ma,

Always compliment/appreciate him. A thank you honey or a kiss or warm hug would do.

He knows his capabilities but will still crave your compliments.

If you do not compliment him, who will?

It is well with your family.


@OP:

After eating one day, tell her you crave her appreciation/compliments and she might change.

Goodluck

Sunbellar: Are you willing to sell too?

You left OP who wants to sell s.ex for house rent to ask moi?

Biko help a maid in distress!

pickabeau1: its not surpirising it will not make sense to you...


However rather than being aggressive why not enjoy the debate... i expected more from you

In the scheme of human arrangements (6000 years), monogamy worldwide is a newbie and will not be up to 300 years at the most and that only in europe. In Africa and Asia it is less than 100 years....

You should open your mind and consider other world views from yours rather than spouting another person is not making sense...

Im not interested in making any woman guilty... but why!

As someone said, the so called married men having clandestine relationships are having it with women...and not goats!
go figure

Yet to understand how your posts relate to the one you quotes

Caracta: Moreover, you have no RIGHT to his money. Stop making it sound like he is owing you. What are you selling biko?

What is in between her legs....

[quote author=mizzocho.cinco]you still ate doing the same thing the asewo is doing. You are doing because of the words, "i love you" an asewo is doing it for the another. Tell me if you were to die today and go to heaven do you thing your act and the act of that asewo would been seen as different acts?

End of the day you are both commiting the same sin for different purposes

If you wanted to come and preach about dignity and self-respect i would have gladly listened if u had done it before opening your legs before marriage[/quote]| | | | |

bukatyne:

I sorry, I can't help you

[quote author=mizzocho.cinco]you give it in exchange of the words, 'i love u' dont you?
Whether its words or something tangible you still opened those legs after you got something in exchange[/quote]

I sorry, I can't help you

Viogu: I understand where u are coming from but in both instances does it not involve a pennnis and a vaginaaaa and an orgasmmm at the end?

It does so also with a LovePeddler

Viogu: Its priceless when non-virgins talk about another person's dignity and self-respect. You have given the same the OP is giving 2 another man, in exchange 4 nothing. If u can go as far as calling her asewo, remember that you did the same thing only difference is u did it 4 free.

So sex in relationship (not saying it's right) is in exchange for money and other gifts

Who is that blessed male poster that said most Nigerian girls are whores living outside the hotel?

Phder: If this is what "dating" is all about, please count me out! I'd rather remain single; forever.

Rent ko! Dowry ni

Look for the right qualities and you will get someone you are compatible with

[quote author=mizzocho.cinco]how many favours have u rewarded your boyfriend with sex?
He gives pampers, later one you give him the best sex ever!
He buys you flowers and takes you for a nice dinner dat, next day you will go to his house with sexy lingirie and you give him a show?
He tells you you sexy when you dance or when you have that brown weave on... You feel flattered and next thing, you hit it in the bedroom


just because u do it differently, does that mean you should also give yourself a brain?[/quote]em sweetheart, believe it or not, not everyone can descend to your level

If I want to make love to my man, it's because we love each other and not because I want to get a favour from him!

Come to think of it, a man really does more to pleasure his woman during s.ex... is it the caresses, sucking or whatever?

Can you imagine paying a man because he ate the food you cooked?

Do you think you are doing your bf a favor when you make love sleep with him?

Babe, if you are talking about prostitution, then I will understand you because it is only prostitutes that pay men with se.x or exchange s.ex for favors.

If you are NOT a prostitute, get your lazy fat ass up and ask your parents/guardian for house rent

[quote author=mizzocho.cinco]I have been dating my boyfriend for 4months now and since men play the role of a provider when is the right time to ask him for rent money, or should i move in with him to save him the trouble?[/quote]The right time to ask your boyfriend fro rent money is the day you become his wife

You have been dating for 4months? and you are already leeching? That guy should run without looking back!

You should move in so save him the trouble? Are you an Orphan?

Babe, give yourself brain abeg! Your relationship is too fresh to become parasitic abeg except if you were looking for a rent payer you will pay with s.ex

Nancyij37: Every lady should be aware of those things men find irresistible in a woman, what they appreciate and what they don’t like. Thou is very difficult to find out what men think and wants because each individuals has its own understanding of how thing work. We have done series of research to find out those thing men find irresistible in a woman. They are:

Independent Woman: [/b]Men don’t like seeing women depend on them, they like those know what they want in life, have their own carriers and hobbies, as the family will be build by both efforts. This as well gives the man hope that even in his absent that his  (children) is safe and can be taken care of. This makes marriage very strong..

[b]Best Friend: Men want their wife to be their best friend, some one they can trust, complain to and share concerns with. Any marriage where couples don’t share issue together is always compromise and always have problem in the short run.

Sweet and Beauty: Yes, This one is general with every man, they always want their wife to look beautiful, but in some extent they want sweet caring wife that can love and take good care of them, they also love a good sense of humor. If you don’t know how to handle problem with a bif smile, go and learn it.

Pressure Lady: Men don’t want to be pressured to do anything, they love pressure free woman, who will not always nag them, Every w=man should give the husband some privacy, so it will be great if don’t call or regularly send him message, chats, pings or call every minute and hour, its so bored.

Sexy: [/b]Men love their women to be sexy not trashy. This is one of the main thing that attract them to women. Every women have their best part of the body that they like and love most.. so highlight your best physical asset because that your selling point and also learn how to dress like a lady.

[b]Well mannered woman: Nothing embarrasses men the most than that of their wife… go learn some simple ethics. Appreciate you man, encourage him to do more, show him unconditional love and support.

Your Reasoning: The most thing a man can appreciate from the wife is her reasoning, Try as much as possible to contribute ideas..Ask your husband questions and contribute your idea, as your idea may be the upliftment you are looking for.

OP,

This is a very nice write up

However, different men find different things irresistible in their women..

some men do not like independent wives nor do they see their wives as their best friends as they are not 'mates/equals'. What is sexy to A might be trashy to B and vice versa. As an example, most ladies will think wearing shorts ands spag/halter tops would seduce their hubbies; I know someone who would do 'deliverance' for his wife if she dresses that way in the home...

The onus lies on every woman to know what her man wants and vice versa...

Nashville: My kinda woman!

Why do you think we are birthday mates?

Lol!

babylolaroy: did yu even take the pain to call it religion?..yu shudav sed a get-togeda for church services. A get togeda dah lets dem sing and dance and shout unto the lord. A get togeda dah lets pastors touch the sisters on the head while praying. a Get togeda dah lets pastors push d females on their chest gangan whilst delivering dem of blindness nd evil spirit....ewww
to go on sef makes me wanna puke

I wonder how dreams in the OP translated to submission/ lack of, material wealth/ career etc.

No everyone would have dreams... Heck, most Nigerian women do not have one... It's ok but DON'T spew rubbish about those who have.

For every one esp. lady who has dreams to do one or two things... there is someone out there who will believe in your dreams and beautify them. Contrary to popular opinion, there are many good men out there who have visions themselves and look for wives to help them fulfill it and vice versa.

With determination and persistence, you can be/ do whatever you want to.

It's well with you

Kay 17: In the alternative, the modern world opens doors for women, confirms their equality and value to the society. The modern world sees a marriage as a healthy partnership with the participants having equal respect and rights for themselves with no room for abuse.

You dey answer am?

When I say a lot of women don't have dreams, you think I am lying?

See people talking about money as if all in this life is money

Lordlexyy: And what has your dream birthed than spewing crab. If an intelligent woman finds satisfaction in raising a good home, and you call that unfulfilled dream, abi? People like you are the cause of social decadence and manance due to the volunability of children occationed by the greediness of women like you who prefer to be seen as influential over family stability. In your limited mind, material acquisition is gain leaving family value abi? Everything in life boils down to decision, which ever appeals to you, embrace it. But forcing your perception on someone else opinion is not appropriate.

So a woman should not be influential because she is married? I do not have time to discuss with unintelligent people

In one of my posts, I even mentioned some things a woman can think of doing without making money...

Everyone was created with a destiny in mind. If you are a Christian, you would know that God created everyone with talents to be used to glorify Him...

I can see that widows around me do not dress well and as a tailor, sew free dresses for them; I can decide to teach kids in my church because I have passion for kids...

Women all around the world have invented something/ a service to make their society or environment better. Everything in this life is NOT all about money but I guess you don't know that!

Cut out the insults if you want to quote me...

dayokanu: And its so true because right from secondary school even primary school some girls would have given up that its the guys that are supposed to work hard they are just there to get the certificate and hope for a rich man to come marry them

LOL!