₦airaland Forum

lynton: A young man close to the Hajj commission told
me that why most of the female pilgrims were
sent back is that they were sent to Saudi as
hand bag (pillow) by some men (politicians)
for enjoyment purposes. This has been going
on for so many years now but was discovered
by Saudi authorities during last year Hajji.
I will just thumps up to Saudi officials.
Every day is for the thief and one is for
owner. Hajji go dee boring for some idiots
spoiling our name this year. God pass them

were these men also deported?

Adabar: Suffice to say that part of the marriage failures nowadays is that both men and women have lost their traditional place or position in the institution: women,now assume the head of the family partly because of the economic situation that places bread winning privileges on the women folk and partly cux of the craze for gender equality in our generation. With due respect, women and men are not equal; the good books recognised the inequality in their injunctions and attempts to usurp such position especially in close knitted relationships will only cause chaos. It's against natural tendencies for men to be fed before women in times of famine or men are allowed to sit back while women go to the battle ground during wars.
The truth is our marriages will be a lot healthier if husbands love their wives and the wives respect their husbands though there is no much of one without the other. Our women are very intelligent and industrious and husbands shouldn't be threatened by that but support them all the way and wives should Be humble enough to make their MISSION sub of their husbands: that's submission. Having an understanding that men are the HEADS and women, the neck underscores our interdependence.

i hope d 'good' book you are referin to is not the Bible. a man and a woman are equal everywhere.

Adabar: Suffice to say that part of the marriage failures nowadays is that both men and women have lost their traditional place or position in the institution: women,now assume the head of the family partly because of the economic situation that places bread winning privileges on the women folk and partly cux of the craze for gender equality in our generation. With due respect, women and men are not equal; the good books recognised the inequality in their injunctions and attempts to usurp such position especially in close knitted relationships will only cause chaos. It's against natural tendencies for men to be fed before women in times of famine or men are allowed to sit back while women go to the battle ground during wars.
The truth is our marriages will be a lot healthier if husbands love their wives and the wives respect their husbands though there is no much of one without the other. Our women are very intelligent and industrious and husbands shouldn't be threatened by that but support them all the way and wives should Be humble enough to make their MISSION sub of their husbands: that's submission. Having an understanding that men are the HEADS and women, the neck underscores our interdependence.

i hope d 'good' book you are referin to is not the Bible. a man and a woman are equal everywhere.

JaaizTech: I think marriage failures really has nothing to do with the counsel received before the marriage but the values and norms. one have come to inculcate or accept over one's lifetime. There are a variety of factors that has caused failures of marriages, and I think one of them is the throwing away of our cultural values and the increased acceptance of western values, that attempts to put the man and the woman on the same pedestal in marriage. Our culture teaches us a woman must be submissive and accept most of the shit the man is going to give (i.e you can't have 2 captains on the same ship). Secondly, the world of movies have painted a non-existent image of a perfect marriage, perfect-love life etc; most people seek this mirage which can only be found in hollywood / Nollywood movies; hence they get very disappointed early in the marriage, when the passion with which the marriage started naturally wither away (a normal course in marriage). Bottomline, we need to be real about what marriage is and most importantly we also need to be real about who the natural man is: Perhaps a place to start is for people to talk about what actually caused the marriages they know to have failed to fail. Most marriages that I know failed because the man was cheating or attempting to marry a second wife.

and makes u think that a woman submitting puts her on a lower stand? does a man loving his wife unconditionally put him on a lower pedestal? who told u that a woman must take a man's poo? divorce was not high during d times of old b'cos d women had no choice! now, they have a choice and d men must step up. until both husbands and wives are ready to contribute their very best to their marriages, marriages ll keep failing!

jobaskia: @as-salam U are quite right that fear of God is a key to ensure that marriage is sustained, but in another sense a woman is the big 'factor' to make sure her marriage to anyone should be based on how she is a able to persevere and endures the challenges that comes with marriages.

For instance, when my nikkah was just six days i was relieved from my position where i worked , but i felt undaunted and decided to move , i kept it a secret between myself and my sister not to disclose to anyone. I equally ensure i was not remorsed on the nikkah day ,the officiating alfa spent just an hour to solemnize the two of us , a lot of friends/ were very surprise they like this kind of nikkah ceremony i only told my father in- law after i got another job with a company because i know the psychological impact it will have on my wife . I ensure my parent did'nt spill the beans as well. My marriage is moving to 7th year now ,but no be beans oh . All Glory to God

In all, i strongly believed is our women to salvage, persevere and endure within the period to ensure that they do not listen to side talk, mingle with friends, they should be patient, to be contented with whatever their spouse gives them . Women are quite loving , respectable, wise and they could be gullible but still have other qualities one can really appreciate them for. Like my parent now have been married for the past 56yrs with 8 surviving children and we are all doing very well .

Its a milestone to achieve, but with the right woman, God's guidance,everything is at your beck and call.

sir, i appreciate ur testimony but that's where we are wrong. the success of a marriage doesn't depend on a woman; it depends on both parties. men should start learning how to play their part to make their marriages work.

it's surprising that our religious leaders who should show our secular leaders the way are even 'better' than them in white lies and deceit.

maclatunji: This babe just dey yarn oputu.

mr, if u don't understand my post, it's best u highlight the part u don't understand and ask.

AbdulSleek: Sorry but you are preaching. Even in my workplace, the atheists say that christians preach too much!

How can you say that christianity has no rigid rules? Is homosexual activities accepted in christianity?

You are sounding like the Buddhists and hindus from Asia at my workplace. They always say that there is no right and wrong. Just follow the spiritual leanings!


As you can see, I work a lot and so, I spend a lot of time at work!

when i meant rules, i don't mean commandments. rules is a wrong choice of words cos u won't understand wat i mean. God has given us commandments like don't steal, lie, kill, commit adultery etc. wat i meant was that there is nothing like eat this, sit this way, don't look like this, don't sleep like this etc. i might prefer kneelin to pray, some may prefer standing, i might like to pray @ night, some might pray in the morning etc i'm sure u get my drift. i'm sorry if i gave u the impression that there are no clear definitions of right and wrong. there are.

ebonyvibe: Men really really make me laugh! its unbeliveable

You want career women, then a housemaid, then a submisive wife. If you choose to have a career woman that you share the bills half you most share the chores to into half she is not your slave.

If you are man enough to be the alpha male and provide for your family needs then you have the luxury of a submissive wife; check your make up before your venture into marriage otherwise you will not only be suprised you will be shocked!

ebonyvile, i beg to disagree. a wife submission has nothing to do wit her education or stand in life; all women should be submissive to their husbands. however, wat a lot of people understand submission to be is not submission but slavery. a husband is to love his wife and we find the characteristics of that love in 1cor13:1-8 and the wife responds to her husband's love by submittin. a husband who loves his wife esteems his wife above himself, considers her first when making suggestions and does everything in his power to please her. the wife in turn esteems her husband above herself (submits) and does everything in her power to please him. so submission is to balance d man's love so that he doesn't seem like a fool! else the man is esteeming d woman and the woman is not esteeming the husband and he is left hanging. d prob is that most men want to esteem themselves and also want their wives to esteem them too that's why d women find it difficult to submit because it has become slavery! that's why a man doesn't want to tolerate d rubbish of his wife but his wife must tolerate his rubbish, afteral, he is d 'head' not knowing that d head is a position of duty and performance. it takes a God fearing man to genuinely love his wife. God ll help our men and remove the spirit of selfishness, ego, hard heartedness and pride and He ll help d women submit. take care

ocelot2006: In other words, the hubby should be able to tolerate the crap the lady begines to dole out when she starts to earn the big buck? No thank you.

and wat makes u think d woman ll dole out crap when she earns higher? ll u dole out crap to ur lady when u earn higher? a bully ll always see a bully in everyone

newtontoyo: I agree with you and if u check my previous post,I said I also participate in the house chores as well.My Point is,some women are so addicted to their careers,they transfer those responsibilities to their husbands just because they feel they are much more busier than he is or because they feel they put more money on the table than he does.In addition,just because a woman puts more money on the table does not give her the right to disrespect and treat her husband unfairly.I also see this happen a lot.

when u say transfer of chores, it means u stil see it as solely that of d women. most men would see disrespect and unfairness in anything that a wife who earns higher does. i'm not saying that some women don't treat their husbands unfairly though. men should learn how to earn respect and not demand it.

AbdulSleek: Are you preaching? You christians and your preaching sef!


Thanks for the words of encouragement. Why did you say that christianity is not a religion, do you no worship God or Jesus? Forgive me, I am not too versed in christianity!

u are forgiven! lol! when i say christianity is not a religion but a way of life it means there are no rigid rules. it is not a set of rules of do this, do that but we have the Holy Spirit in us who guide us on everything so d way i worship God or see some things ll be different from d way you see it that's why some christians see nothing wrong in trousers, make up, adding attachments to hair etc but some count it as a sin etc. the most important thing is to rely on the leading of the Holy Spirit. we worship God and Jesus Christ And we worship Them in Spirit and in Truth. They are everywhere.

AbdulSleek: So do you agree that we should not put the death penalty on Salman Rushdie?

This is another thing that puts my faith in confusion. Why do we muslims run to conspiracies when discussing simple issues? I returned from todays debate heartbroken again! The non-muslims made fun of us. Some of our debaters, especially those with proper Arab roots were running into conspiracies rather than debating the subject at hand. "the West this, the West that". I had to contribute and tell them to focus on the issue- blasphemy and apostacy and pluralism.

I agree with your comments on riba but why are you bringing the west and Hilary clinton into this? I know that the West attacks muslims but that is not the issue here.

that's why i told you to read ur koran earlier. there is a concept in christianity i want you to adapt: u and u alone is accountable for your sin. even if u are tempted, it is ur sole responsiblity to resist. forget d west and concentrate on how to be a better person and if u know something is right stand firm on it witout being judgemental. it's best if u don't join them in the debates for now. take care

AbdulSleek: No. Christians do not face the same challenges. You people are very flexible with your religion. We can see this in how christians can fit their religion into a capitalistic model which is materialistic at its core

Christianity is not a religion, it's a way of life so we necessarily don't have to lose our identity as christians. for example, d way a yoruba christian would eat, drink, greet, dress or dance is different from the way an igbo/hausa christian would do the same thing. God created us differently and loves when we showcase our styles/diversity to Him. christians also face d same challenges. a true christian wouldn't partake in some activities others see nothing wrong in and u know that the world hates people who are different esp when u are colleagues/mates. i assure u dat if u were a boss, ur colleagues would see ur difference in a positive light. if u feel people are wrong, you win them over wit d beauty of ur behavior and not your acts of self righteousness or condemnations. that's why i told you to read your koran very well and understand so that you ll not just do wat you see people doing but you know d right thing and how to defend it to others peacefully.

and why do muslim women need male escorts? who escorts the men? the more i want to believe that women are treated equally in islam, the more facts prove otherwise! to d issue @ hand, is it only Nigerian women that were deported? if so, y?

Tinkybabe: 1)by sitting on a crate
2)lawsuit/case
3)using one of the laws of indices
x⁰ =x^1-1 or x^2-2=
x¹/x¹(any number divided by itself is 1)hence ans is 1

weldone, u got 2 and 3 correct.

AbdulSleek: Thanks for your practical input. Are u sure u are not a Muslim?

u re welcome! i'm 100% sure! a born again christian would stil face d same challenges. why d question?

[quote author=Bo-large]YOUR STATEMENT SHOWS THAT THERE ARE POSSIBILITIES FOR YOU TO HAVE LEFT. PROBABLY IF YOU HAD LEFT, WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY ABOUT U?

PRESSURE FROM FAMILIES AND FRIENDS OR CHURCH?.

WELL, 90% OF WOMEN OF FAME HAD TERMINATED THEIR MARRIAGES.

A YORUBA ADAGE SAYS "A WOMAN WHO WANTS TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS WILL NEVER STAY IN A MARRIGE"

I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOU FOR YOUR HUMILITY FOR SUSTAINING YOUR MARRIAGE. KEEP IT UP AND GOD WILL INCREASE U AND UR HUSBAND.[/quote]Mr., marriage is not d highest achievement a woman can have so please throw that ur crazy adage out of d window! it takes two to make a marriage work! u men want to sit down and contribute nothing to d success of ur homes! if there is a husband i admire, it is omotola's. i'm not saying they are problem free, but d guy obviously supports her and doesn't ve d stone age mentality most of u have. imagine quotin such terrible adage! don't worry, don't train ur daughters so that they would have 'successful' marriages!

lat4real: i didn't said you should kill your your ambitions because of marriage, but your ambition shouldn't be your priority at the expense of your home. Your home must come first while other things follow. I can't marry a liability as a wife but i can't also marry a lady that her career is all she care about. And as a typical yoruba man, i was brought up to believe that man "must" be the one that will be providing for the needs(financial) of the family( woman can help if needs be) while his wife should reciprocate by cater for the welfare of the family. Above all, understanding and Love is the key to any successful marriage, if you understand, tolerate and Love each other, career or no career you will have a happy HOME.

I ll agree wit u only if u believe that career should not be the top priority for a married man also. A woman doesn't pursue a career for money, it is to make a place for herself in the society. i'm sure u admire the dora akunyili's of this world.

newtontoyo: ohhhh...so just because my wife has made her career a mini-god in her life,i have to wash the plates,clean the house,take the children to the school even cook for her every single day of my Life !!!!!!!

i dont have any problem with doing those things outlined above nor do i have a problem with men that do them.Infact,i do them once in a while But what i have a problem with is her making it my responsibility to do them just because her work is more important to her than the state of the home.In addition,do you think married couples who hardly spend quality time with each other due to their engagements with work are not creating problems for themselves and the kids ?

when a woman is a housewife, it's her duty to see dat the home is clean. when a woman is a working wife, it's d shared responsiblity of both of them (husband n wife) to make d home clean. so an husband that does house chores is doing not extraordinary just how a wife that complements her husband financially is doing nothing extraordinary. i agree that when d parents re too busy, it might cause problems for the kids.

newtontoyo:

Lest you forget...A wife and Children can come later too....especially when you have to deal with the Bossy,grouchy,materialistic, uninteresting and self-declared ''ïntelligent'' Nigerian Ladies.

The rate at which most women heap blames on the men as if they are respondsible for the failures of most marriages is unbelievable.For Christ sakes both married men and women cheat!! whether career minded or not,Making a marriage work has a lot to do with what both individuals stand for.I suppose most of you ladies feel as much as you are free to pursue your careers,the man that takes over all your respondsibilities in the home on your behalf is your ideal kinda man
DAmn!!!!!
Bottom line is if a lady cannot strike a balance between her career and marriage,she doesnt have any business getting married in the first place and inasmuch as a man should be supportive of her wife's career goals,her respondsibilities in the home does not become his just to satisfy her quest.

and wat is d woman's responsiblities in the home that can't become the man's? is d man allegic to house chores? is it stated anywhere that house chores is for the wife only? wat is the man's responsibilities in the home?

joeydozzy: you need to read properly next time. what I meant was for her to get a divorce instead of her diabolical revenge plan and no I don't belong to that school of thought. Thanks

next time, make ur point and stand clear!

lat4real: stone-age mentality about marriage? Can you justify that assertion? Because we are now in "rock-age", Men should be the one that must be cater for children and do other houseworks while his Wife focus on her so called "career". If you goes to school, your primary assignment is to study and get good certificate. Any other things apart from that are not your obligation. Likewise in marriage, the primary assignment of an "average" woman is her HOME, any other things must not supersede her major reason for being married.

and sir, where did you get that notion that d major reason a woman is married is take care of d home? wat is d major reason a man is married? or you don't know that how a man has dreams and ambitions is also how a woman have dreams and ambitions? it is not all women whose only ambition in life is to get married.

yes it is and there is nothing u can do about it unless u have decided to fight for God. the highest thing u can do is to pray for their eyes of understanding to be opened.

@OP: i'm not a muslim but i believe that every one serious wit their faith ll face wat u re facing in one way or the other so i can relate wit u. i would advice that u learn wat is expected of u as a muslim and strive to follow it. however, wisdom is necessary and be considerate of everyone around u. u can also call ur fellow muslims and talk to them. a workplace is not a religious center and it is absurd to expect everyone to follow ur religious convictions. if u re not comfortable wit bonding in a bar(which i see no reason why u should be uncomfortable since u work in an alcoholic company), decide not to come for d party than depriving everyone else from having their fun. if ur religion doesn't agree wit something, u have to make that sacrifice and not others. it's not healthy when a group of pple are sidelined in a place of work. u can also call a general meeting and get ur fellow muslims to apologize to all the staff and explain ur reasons for not wanting d bonding party and decide in future to either make personal sacrifices yourselves or decide to participate in ways that it would not affect ur faith. God be wit u!

[quote author=Kla_zic boi]guys let there be peace for now[/quote]now is the time to fulfill my destiny!

vicksbaba: I dare u all to answer dis question

if the square root of (1) is one, what is the square root of (-1)........sowi...your calc. Wouldn't help u dis time

-1 has no square root!

Gamuguma: Jss3 mathematics.
@Op solve this:
3x-+(2+7x)=10

-*+ = -
d equ bcomes 3x - (2+7x) = 10
open bracket = 3x -2 -7x = 10
CLT: 3x - 7x = 10 + 2
-4x = 12
divide both sides by d coefficient of x
x = -3

petokey: Do you think you are a guru in maths? Then try this.


10 + 10 x 0 + 10 = ??

using Bodmas, 20

Okontami: @Poster, why are you here telling us of what your intentions had been since day one you married him?? You have missed fu*cking different di*cks abi. So, that you man is cheating means you should cheat back to strike back?? In fact you are in for regrets. You will become an object of ridicule by the time you start. A lot of guys will not reject helping you out with your decision, but they will surely discuss you among their peers and you will be more miserable than you are right now. What does your moral tell you (Madam Prost*itu*te), what does your religion tell you (Madam Sl*ut), where did you learn this?? Did you learn this from your mother?? Is she your role model?? If she is not your role model, why not confide in her and discuss this with her and tell her that you want to become a public dog because your husband is cheating on you and hear what she has to say? Dont forget that your room in your father's house is currently being occupied by someone else, but if you want to go back become a free for all. I have at least 50 guys that will be interested in firing your dirty punanny. Oloshi

and is this ur rant called for? if u want to unleash ur anger, why don't u unleash it on d husband that started d cheating in the first place?

joeydozzy: so that's a criterion for you to reciprocate it. that's why there's divorce nowadays

and why is there divorce? is d man's actions not calling for divorce already? or u belong to d school of thought that a man can cheat or a woman can't?


@ OP: don't, it ll only bring d both of u to d same level. as he been cheatin on u b4 marriage? is he a serial cheat or just a one time mistake? all these would help us know how to advice u

coogar: the fornication didn't kill samson, acting foolish to tell the secrets of his power to delilah led to his death! david suffered for his sins because he made the woman he coveted a widow by deliberating putting the husband in the front line where he knew the husband wouldn't have survived. we can go on and on - there's no proof that polygamy is evil!



it doesn't make a difference! children raised in these advanced countries suffer more trauma than kids raised in polygamous setting in nigeria!



who is arguing hormones ain't biology? who is more likely to have self control with these rush of hormones? a teenager or a full grown adult? you cannot rule out age and experience in the séxual behaviour of humans!



17? hell no - those stats are dodgy!!
40 is the magic number where the decline is noticeable! men in their 20s and 30s are not slouches!

u seem to have it all figured out. Divine silence IS NOT Divine approval! also, in Romans, it was stated that God winked @ d time of ignorance! then, divorce was allowed, motives were not judged but in NT, the motives, actions, inactions and reactions are judged. a man has to be sexually attracted to a woman b4 he thinks of marryin her. a married man sexually attracted to a woman that is not his wife and dwelling on it is already committing a sin whether he marries her or not. a genuine christian ll not dream of polygamy how he would not dream of smoking, drinking alcohol etc.