₦airaland Forum

acidtalk: * Even when you can afford some certain things like your hair do, Recharge cards, flight tickets and that new gadget, men always want to be asked for favours once a while to help boost their ego.

* Contrary to the above, consistent demanding and begging is a big turn off. No man wants a liability or a corporate beggar as a wife.

* You talk feminist and independent minded and still wonder why no man sticks around to listen to male bashing from you.

* You can't be living permanently in a man's house and expect you to be anxious of you moving into his house.

* When a man gets the sex from you anytime, anywhere and anyhow, how do you still expect the man to be eager to have you as his wife to satisfy his sexual urge.

* You have cooked all your best and worst food for him and still want him to believe there are still surprises in you cooking.

* Leaving permanently in a man's house while he hasn't legally and formally married you is a total turn off to the man's family and friends. No matter how wealthy you are, everyone will assume you are being a liability on the man and only sticking around to live off the earnings of the man.

* Being too forcy and overbearing is a total turnoff to the male folks. Even though most men will confess in secret they need a turf (tough) woman, nobody wants a woman to come and bully all over them.

* Nagging is a generational turnoffs. Most men way into marriage always confess that if they knew their wives nagged, they would never had ended up marrying them. Nagging is just a NO NO in any relationship.

* Being Miserly in your relationship isn't going to take you far into the relationship. Everyone no matter how wealthy once to get surprises of gifts from their loved ones once a while. Especially when the man is a generous / giver.

* Preventing a man from his constant communication with his family and friends will only make him wary of marrying you because a man with close bonding with his relatives will never want someone to kill the ties he has with his loved ones.

* A woman who want to always eat out, go clubbing, go shopping, go to the movies and other spendings is likely not to have a man who will settle with her. Every man wants a manager and not a waster.

I know women with at least on or more of these qualities and they are fully married.
In fact these kind of women you mentioned above are the ones who are most likely to get married sooner! hahaha
prove me wrong.
men don't know what they want.

I guess the same applies to women

SHOCKED!!
pls tell me she's in jail.

another cossy orjiakor in the making.

cjrane: The English proverb says ; "Fool me once, shame on you,fool me again shame on me"
The Igbo proverb says ; "The same stick should not blind your eyes twice"


Let those who have ears listen and hear. Those people who wish to go back and get butchered like goats and pigs in northern nigeria can very well do so. Just bear full responsibility for your foolish decision.

But these people do not have ears.
History shows that they do not have eyes nor ears. lol

9ja voice: Good question;
1) bcuz they are mostly traders, and every trader wants a less competetive market.
2) bcuz igbos practice what they preach, if they preach unity they do it.
unlike hausa/fulani and yoruba which preach unity and yet practice division.
3) bcuz igbos lovely people and every lovely person dont go about fearful but and evil person(yoruba/hausa/fulani) are always afraid to go out.
4) bcuz igbos are good people they always like to give back to a society they profited from.
that is why the igbos are planning to build ultra moder market in south africa.
a nation they profited from they are now giving back good things.


black man loves not good people, they choose hating him because of the lies fed him against the good but time shall tell.

You are very dependent on others for your well being. Even to the point of depending on your enemies for life. Free yourself and stop living like a parasite. geez. I thought that was common sense. Maybe you need to diversify your occupation. Trading isn't working too well for you, find other occupations where your life won't be too much at risk.

ex. The South Africans are killing and deporting you left and right and here you are talking about how you want to build ultra modern market there to give back to them. They don't want your market. they want you OUT of their country. isn't that obvious?
it has nothing to do with whether you are good or not. They just don't want you. they're clearly not interested in your self-righteousness or "goodness."

see this topic for example. isn't it senseless that igbos are returning to Boko Haram areas?

Bro,its even worse with Igbo people,you hardly hear of other tribes settling down i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̅ their region because they are not accomodating at all,very hostile.even when they settle among other tribes,they want to claim ownership of the area after some time,yet when the same treatment íڪ metted on them somewhere else else,they come out to cry wolf.Ethnic bigots.imagine igbos telling Fashola before 2011 elections that they wouldn't vote him unless he makes an agreement with them that he will have more Igbos i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̅ his cabinet if he gets elected.Lagos na their village?

Another great comment.
very ridiculous. and it's a symptom of Grandiose delusions.
the cat looks at itself in the mirror and sees a lion. hahaha sorry but everyone sees you just as you are AND will treat you just as you are.
We are not going to line up to lick your feet or give you special privileges just for being igbo. call it victimization or whatever you wish but...just face reality for once.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandiose_delusions

My point is that

1. We do not have a government or any form of security in this nation to protect the lifes of her citizens

2. Important* Looking to why Igbos make themselves the annoying people of a region. This reason lies in the fact that when an Igbo man buys a landed property, he sees it as his own castle and every thing money can solve. In reality the indigenes of the region see it as a leased property to be returned to them in future years. This was the problem South-southerners have with Igbos.

My suggestion is for an smart Igbo man to go back to the east, invest there and live there with his family with occasions when he stays in Abuja and or buys properties in Lagos if he so wishes. Lagos and Abuja are the only places in Nigeria outside your region, you can be grantee your landed property would NEVER be a taken from you by miscreates

Great comment!
But the question is: why are igbos so afraid to settle in their own region?!
Imagine the topic title. "returnees." Why return to such a dangerous place? Do you even cherish your life?
They go around acting like refugees and expect people not to treat them like refugees.

dayokanu: Make dem remember to set alarm o so they wont forget

so, is anything still going to happen on Nov 5? lol

https://imageshack.us/a/img853/338/popcornz.gif

Peers (age-mates) influence self-esteem the most. Since these are the people we compare ourselves to.
and personality matters too. An extrovert is more likely to be sociable and thus have more friends. an Introvert will be less able to "fit in" among peers.

^ false.

Yorubas are one of the most loved ethnic tribes in Nigeria. We are social and welcoming. Even abroad, most inter-ethnic venues for Nigerian gathering are organized by yorubas (churches, social orgs, events etc). we welcome other nigerian tribes (igbos, edos, etc), we also embrace other africans.
we are also very proud of our culture and language.

During the South African xenophobia episode, you will note that most of the so called "Nigerians" being killed and deported were of igbo tribe.Same with the murders in the North. In a weird twisted way, you guys take pride in being hated. I don't see the logic in provoking your hosts and celebrating the fact that others hate you, but whatever floats your boat. rotfl

https://www.nairaland.com/935903/yorubas-best-accommodating-strangers-nigeria

I didn't even know you could donate breast milk sef.

gboyex: I was expecting to see a large woman with large bossom only to see this young mother with not to large bossom, see as talent dey waste for Nija, I sure say mama ngozi wey dey fry akara fit pump more dan 100gallons of bossom milk

hahah same here!

Balkan: I feel your bewilderment will continue to throw you into more chagrin. The more u look the less you discern. Because you lack wisdom and erudition,
that is why you can open your malodours mouth to spew and disgorge rubbish.

Lagos is an Annex of the state, get that into your drained brain. We are not just talking we are doing it. Lagos you hear everyday is Igbo. All the commerce therein
Is Igbo. It's your bigoted tribe that is in the business of chor chor chor

Anum pam

what did I say? this fool just confirmed my post.
imagine the igbos were this brazen in real life as they are here on nairaland.

There is NO EXCUSE for physical abuse in the home. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE.
some of you guys are disgusting.
I bet you these are the same type of men who think rap[size=1pt].[/size]e is ok if the woman is wearing make-up or skirt.
unbelievable.

there was some person (sagamite) who created an entire thread dedicated to posting youtube videos of men beating women up.
I wonder what kind of environment such men grew up in to develop that kind of psychopathic mentality. and you can only wonder what kind of terror they will end up afflicting on an unfortunate wife and kids someday.

wow. I don't even know what to say. It's always very chilling to hear a victim tell his/her story. I hope there are women in your former situation reading this topic and gaining hope. They are not alone and this too shall pass.

I know violent marital abuse goes on because i've seen it with my two eyes. husband beating up his wife badly (swollen red eyes, blood stained torn cloth etc) they brought the fight outside and a bunch of people gathered to watch. Some men were trying to help the woman free from his clutch. I don't know what happened after that (I was a passerby) but God, I hope they're separated. I feel for the kids sha.
Times like that I just thank God for my parents.

maybe it was the area I lived in lagos. but I saw tons of crazy things.
A woman screaming hoarsely in the street that she was rap[size=1pt].[/size]ed by a meat-seller who forced his way into her house. somehow he found out she was alone. You could tell from her battered look and hoarse voice that something horrible had happened to her.
Apparently there is also such thing as marital ra[size=1pt].[/size]pe. I cannot for the life of me understand that one but I know that any kind of ra[size=1pt].[/size]pe is horrible.

my heart goes out to all women who have been a victim of abuse. whether marital or non-marital.
2 groups that suffer from physical violence most in naija: women and children.

@OP, I partially agree with you. Yes igbos are no different from other immigrant tribes outside of SE.
but on nairaland, CHEI the picture is very different. I guess it's because people feel ok to run their mouths when they're behind a veil of animosity. But I'll repeat that in real life, I agree, igbos are ok. Many of them (esp. younger ones) even speak yoruba/hausa etc better than they can speak igbo. THey are very assimilated. two of my best friends in naija were igbo there was absolutely no difference between us.

But reading nairaland, one would think that these people eat "igbo kwenu" for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In fact, you would think that they have flag of biafra emblazoned all over their cars and homes. Fortunately, this extreme ethnocentrism mostly only manifests itself online. I don't see that kind of behavior in real life. Because forreal, stay in your damn village if all u want to talk about is ojukwu and calling yorubas and hausas ugly names. Who forced you to migrate? Nobody want to listen to that kind of conceited/ arrogant conversation. and thankfully, it usually doesn't take place in real life. at least they don't dare talk like that to a yoruba/hausa person's face.

Only in China . She need not worry. All she needs to do is move to the USA. She will be re-married in very little time.
I see something similar with African women who bleach. The children look like they were adopted because they're so black compared to their mothers. hahah

anyway, all these drastic measures women take to change their appearance are a symptom of how sexist the society is. Chinese society is known to be extremely sexist. A woman there is considered worthless if she isn't "beautiful." Even her feet have to be "beautiful."
google "foot-binding" if you've never heard of it. Poor women.

Only in China .

her project has a LOT of potential to rival a site like LinkedIn. This is BIG!!!
congrats to her.

it's pretty much a website where employers can find employees. and it's modeled after dating sites where you put information on yourself and you are ranked based on algorithms for the employer to view. interesting concept.

I remember those days. we depended on each other as neighbors.

ogugua88: I don't think anyone feels confident 24/7. They have their moments too, just that they know how to conceal it. It's only human.

I hope so. LOL

queensmith: i hear psychologies is a good magazine. I hear you on the this stuff! Alot of women share these issues, it's important to talk about them, don't hesitate to email me if you feel this way again its something I love to do!

Also there are some awesome books that might make a decent replacement for these magazines if you are interested in social studies, the beauty myth might give you better perspective on things.

haha I didn't buy the magazines. My friends were going to toss them out and so I took them to see what's in it. Ended up looking at all the pretty pictures and thinking to myself... damn I look bloated. That was just a temporary low feeling though. But it made me remember women i've met who just seem to be positive about things all the time even when they do not "fit the mold" and me wishing I could borrow some of their confidence.

Thanks for the tips.

thanks guys! @esp queensmith
I was just having a very very bad day then.
It didn't help that I had about 5 copies of vogue magazine laying on and around my bedside. Way to depress by bloated self at the moment. Of course my period came a few days later. LOL

These are the kinds of partnership needed to succeed in this 21st century globalized world.
you can't be isolationist.

see this article as an example.


"The majority of children of immigrant HIV-positive women attending a UK HIV clinic remain untested for HIV, despite a high risk of their being HIV-positive"
http://www.aidsmap.com/Untested-children-of-HIV-positive-mothers-and-undiagnosed-adolescents-a-massive-issue-at-UK-conference/page/1432113/

In this case, the children probably already have HIV (they are born with it. just like down syndrome). but they call it a "high risk" because nobody knows for certain until they perform a test.
so there is a risk that such a child has HIV. just as there can be a risk that a child has down syndrome.

queensmith: how is a born child without downs syndrome at risk of down syndrome? Check yourself.

the child is not born without down syndrome. the risk comes in the probability/uncertainty. I am assuming that the child hasn't been tested yet.
Of course in developed countries there are ways to perform prenatal testing. Most hospitals test older couples. but the technology isn't available world wide.

this forum has the story of many mothers who didn't find out that their child had DS until after many months and sometimes years.
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a16536345/8-month_old_just_diagnosed_--_feeling_somewhat_devastated

obadiah777: i thought you were like an expert in the field and can put a figure to it. or are you just coming up with your own science ? my pops had me in his forties and i am healthy, or at least i like to think i am

LOL. If you read my post you will see the word "risk' there. All it is is a risk factor.

for example, there are many people who smoke cigarettes everyday but they don't have lung cancer and live long lives even though their behavior is a risk-factor for cancer and low mortality.

I feel very sad about the death of millions who were mostly innocents but this debate is asinine in trying to pin ALL the blame on your perceived enemies! Truth is your planning was shoddy, the motives suspect and selfish, the propaganda hurtful to your own people and the timing totally wrong!

GBAM! you summed up the biafran war succinctly.

obadiah777: so at what age should men stop having kids ?

the quality of your sperm weakens with age. I will leave it to you to decide on that one.
Of course if you are childless, go ahead and give birth.
but if you have enough kids, no need making more babies just because you feel like it. you are just putting that child at risk out of your selfishness.

queensmith: scientific inaccuracy- children don't develop downs syndrome. They are born with it.

You meant the chances of a child being born with these problems is higher with old age. If the child is healthy, all is well on the development side.

duh. children are born with down syndrome. I never mentioned anywhere that it wasn't. the risk of a child having development problems or down syndrome is higher if birthed by aging parents.
they can also develop some of these things after birth. ex schizophrenia, bipolar disorder,aspergers, autism etc