toshmann: If you can convince cococandy that im a gentle nairalander in Ohio/New York/Connecticut perhaps the next front page things you'll see is "two nairalanders marry in Ohio, Honeymoon in Hawaii
Ladies the best way for your family to retain their respect especially in areas where bride price is high like my side and those elders don't listen to excuse is for your family to pay for the traditional marriage ceremony.
There's no way the bride price list will get to half of what your family will spend on the ceremony. At least the grooms family will also know that your family doesn't lack anything. That's what we did.
Seeing the way some of those elders can be so mean and evil about bride price issues, you will pity your parents. Some don't even know your name but will be the loudest in demanding their 'rights' for coming to take their 'daughter'. If you're not careful, they will ruin your day and reduce you to tears on your happy day. Sanction and/or ostracize your parents even. Mean ppl I tell you.
I believe when that generation of oldies start dying off, stuff like that will become greatly modified But I sincerely wish it will go extinct. We can have traditional weddings(which I love btw) without paying anyone elder or not for a daughter they didn't even raise.
soulglo: That would make him a liar and a thief. Bad advice. Even N1 should not be taken from someone under false pretense
@OP She was obviously disrespectful but she's simply suffering from what many Nigerians suffer from. The sickness were they believe that as long as the person is older than you then they must be right. Don't quarrel with anyone but use this as motivation to do what it takes to leave their house and be independent. You sound like a respectful person from your post. Don't let anyone drag you down to their level.
Chills,cococandy and Efemeneya xy,please my darlings this is the last day of 2014,therefore we should turn a new leaf. Avoid threads that end up in gender bashing,remember next summer is our bikini contest. We need to focus on the weight we are accumulating this christmas.... Byvan
Chills darling,i need to see your cocktail mix....
LordReed: I just wonder why people think marriage is a magic formula that makes people perfect and Happy. Marriage is work, two people working together to achieve goals and dreams. So one person drops the ball and you think all will be well? If I go cheating I don't expect my wife to take it calmly similarly for her. You must hold up your end of the bargain. Elapses and errors can be mitigated but to wilfully jeopardize your union and still expect a pat on the back is craziness.
Stillfire: At this rate I don't mind going back just to deal with the avalanche of terrible husbands we have in the society today. On purest form, I don't even think we can describe Igbo tradition for example in terms of pure, because Igbo tradition itself is not stagnant, it evolves according to the times. When the Igbo feels something has become irrelevant or redundant, they move on.
You don't even have one small business set up as yet and no proof that you can even sustain one but you want all the land in Nigeria given to you. No wonder uk govt deported you. You obviously wanted to take all their land
noetic16: 27. my letters to gej entailed the following: a. introduced myself as a citizen of nigeria. b. explained d circumstances of my deportation. c. requested for help to recover my certificates and personal belongings held by d uk freemason govt. d. requested for housing benefit. e. requested for unemployment benefit. f. requested for manufacturing grant to enable me start large scale manufacturing. g. requested for a piece of land for large scale farming. h. requested for another piece of land for large scale manufacturing. i. requested for anoda piece of land for a business district. j. requested for about 5 acres in each local govt to create retail mall chains that wld create over 1 million jobs as done in uk. k. requested for contract to supply all federal govt ministries and depts basic essentials. this contract wld help finance my manufacturing dream. l. i informed the president of my intention to run for d office of president in the 2031 presidential elections.
mekaboy: Op is just trying out his writting skills, he has not travel to anywhere outside his bedroom .
he is writting the story in numbers because he is copying from full script he is compiling. At this point he is thinking of how to end the story.
NOW OP LET ME HELP U CORRECT SOME LOOP WHOLES IN THIS SCRIPT BEFORE U SELL.
1, you are homeless in lagos, where did they locate you twice to attempt to assasinate u?
2, You knew they were after you and wer not afraid to keep going back to the govt house and aso rock.
3, You had no home and money yet u easily borrow money to travel to abuja, is it the freemasons that give u money for food transport and credit to call woman?
4, u keep using the phrase " it became obvious" many times, it suggests u know the end from the begining, change it.
5, if the lady gave u contract which money u won use execute am?
6, I knw the american movies u have watch and trying modify it to work in the Nigerian environment, but u have to remove some parts to m ask it work. If not alot of questions will come up.
edit the areas i mentioned before going to meet any producer. Anyway i knw nigerian producer dont have time to criticise or ask questions they just start producing.
And funny enough it is now seen as african tradition. With any woman who believes in self actualization and freedom tagged 'westernized'
baby124: You know Damiso, I wrote the same thing but I lost what I wrote. Culturally Yoruba women have never been second class citizens. I think it depends on the tribe. All my female ancestors were actually even more successful than I am. Business wise in so many different forms. All my over 70yr old and above aunties were given the same educational opportunity as their male relatives if the parents can afford it. It is just that oyinbo people thought women should do secretary, nursing and they made technical degrees more male dominated. Otherwise most of them would have been doctor's, lawyers and engineers.
Women have been Chiefs in Kings councils and some were even kings. So any Yoruba woman that prefers to be alabodo, is strictly forming her own path in life. It is not necessarily that she sees herself as less than the man. Women even unhappy with their men and marriages will openly leave the man and marry another one. They were actually more liberated than now. It is actually Islam and Christianity that brought this women are less than men. Even with children in Yoruba society a child is a child, no better than the other whether male or female.
chaircover: sorry ive looked everywhere I can only find it on ibakatv and its $7 a month to subscribe i recorded it on OHTV on sky the other day Maybe someone else knows where else to watch it on the internet Its a great movie this is the trailer . . .
So going by your logic, those whose marriages failed choosed to go the failed road ??
Who knows tomorrow? If you get married today, do you know if your sexually active wife will turn frigid after childbirth? Do you know how your wife will treat her inlaws?
I know a wife who sold off her husband's house after he lost his job.... Now your wife is all smiles, gentle and submissive cos you're giving her money regularly.... If you're out of work for over 6months, do you know what she will turn into?
What if you discover some unsavoury secrets about your spouse's past after getting married and regrets ever marrying him/her? How will the house be like? Always tensed..... The spouse will not even know wetin jam am....
Abeg... You can't say how long a marriage will last, its not by choice, but by neccessity..... One must always having "cards to "play" cos them moment you run out of what is making your spouse stay with you. If have nothing to offer again, even if your marriage is 30yrs old, OYO will be your second name
I blame the mother too. If I were her and he locked me out with our two kids in the room with him, knowing he has done something like that before, I would raise alarm and break down the door. No playing with my kids
soulglo: He drinks too much and his family openly admit that he is financially irresponsible. That does not sound like someone a woman can count on. If times get too tough he will turn to his bottle and trust me, if you give an alcoholic the choice between spending his last dime on baby food versus his bottle, he will always choose the bottle
If I'm not mistaken it is the other guy who drinks too much.
chaircover: You are absolutely rght. Its not just about being financially independent. I can be financally independent but spend all my money on gold and clothes, yet my neighbour could be physically abused by her husband everyday and I do nothing to help. What I need to do as a woman is to be a role model to those around me and add value to those around me. I need to educate myself on a whole heap of different things, so I can be of help to myself and to someone when the need arises. Our mothers and grandmothers were very hardworking, they stood together shoulder to shoulder and there was communitiy spirit. I still rememebr the stories my grandma used to tell me. Its not really like that now and its everyman for himself and this is part of where the problem is coming from. its a me me me society that we live in now and the important things are put aside for less important things.
sadly it is not like that anymore. What we have now is a vicious tear her down mentality exhibited by fellow women to others as if there is a prize for who crushes the other woman faster.
An0nimus: Indian movies can be very nice with deep lessons bar the singing and dancing. The only ones I've seen in a long while is 3 Idiots and Slumdog Millionaire.
I'm OK with Hollywood. someone should please tell me they've seen The Equalizer
Montaque: feminism speaks here. Anyway,we must get over it somehow,in her own way or my way. Mind u,there is no formula,it depends on the person involved nd the kind of attachment they habour.
Here we go again
Feel free to embarrass your wife. When she asks same of you as she does for you, it becomes feminism.
OP it is a dicey one. Follow your heart. The out come will depend on the kind of boy he is. What kind of boy do you think he is? Is he the kind of boy to take correction the first time?
Some boys reporting them or not won't make a difference. They will just go under cover. While some if you don't report then they will feel what they did was a minor offense.
coogar: if you know his dad, report to him. if this particular child is a girl then you can report to the mom. he's a boy - what you have told him should be enough lesson.
Education › Re: A Nairalander Bagged First Class And Best Student Award In Oau Convocation by cococandy(f): 12:55am On Jan 01, 2015
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