₦airaland Forum

GloriousGbola:
The cold truth is that Nigerian men marry Americans first and foremost for papers. Love simply does not come into the equation. The entire family will be aware of this.

Nigerian men are also from a patriarchal society where wives can literally be kicked out of the house

A lot of us can save enough money and then come home and start a business of sorts.

It is more likely the house is for a return to home plan where he will marry a 'proper' wife who everyone is in approval of. The akata can be discarded, even if children are involved.


If the man is from a poor background as you said, his parents would have been perfectly fine with a much cheaper house.

They would also have a much more casual attitude about using you. The more the poverty, the less the empathy

My advise is to lawyer up and also find out just how much your husband was salting away. The house is the only asset you stumbled on. It may be much more than that.

This is beyond a basic trust issue. Most of us in Nigeria know the score. The akata /oyibo is to be used for papers then discarded at the right time. I am suprised about the kids though. Is he a father to them?

baby124:
Very o. But the guy needs to get himself. If he focuses on marriage and blows the money while she becomes more successful, he may get very resentful. She’s obviously smarter than him. Which is not bad but, a man needs to fulfill his own dreams too and get to the point where he can support a family.

I believe he should give it two years of them both working together in achieving shared goals like, career improvement, business improvement, maybe a masters and his building project. Then from there, they can marry!

OP, I thought she was a jobless student. Sorry couldn’t read through the post completely. Hold on to this little madam but give it like 2yrs to also achieve things for yourself. You can give it 6 months to watch her carefully and then engage her formally. Then marriage after another year. By this time you should have sorted a house and businesses.

lefemmechoclat:
I asked him all of this. Again I am honest and frankly I shouldn't ve held responsible for his secrecy. He never said to me his goal was to return to Nigeria he spoke as if he could never live there. That he suffered there. If his plans had changed he should have told me so I would have divorced sooner etc. He told me all he wanted was to have a big home in America and his kids etc. Like he hid that. If he wanted to move back ot Nigeria so bad in future why didn't he marry a Nigerian?

Please you have no idea the amount of financial strain I have been through and with special need child you have no idea the love and stress that comes with that I shouldn't be responsible for him being honest. Don't tie people future up so you can achieve your own goals that suit you.its not fair. Have some compassion. I worked 16 hour days to help this man and when he got a 2nd job the first thing he did was build a mansion at home while I'm still sacrificing.how is that ok?

It is ok. I understand the culture is male oriented and since he has a point to prove back home I should suffer for it. Honestly is huge. He wasn't saying all this when he needed me.

It's OK I have already called a lawyer and had them send me the retainer info. I can't do dishonesty.

UOBEN:
I have told her to stop giving me any money, once it's month end, she will buy the things lacking in the house without even telling me. What ever I want to do, she will like to contribute her own share.

UOBEN:
The second land I bought late last year, she pushed me to buy it, I wanted getting a small Lexus that period, she insisted I buy a land, she said me getting a car was not necessary for me cause it will increase our expenditure.

UOBEN:
She has graduated already, but has not served yet. She works in microfinance bank, she also has a baking shop, with 5 girls working for her.

GloriousGbola:
My love handles are the bomb tho

baby124:
Good for her. Glad she had sense enough to demand use of a condom every time you have sex with her because, you were obviously cheating. The girl get sense. Anybody that will marry you will not progress in life. Just see how you sound in this post. Really feeling important. I am happy for her that she escaped you. Broken relationship is far better than being married to someone like you! She’s a very responsible and smart person. I can understand why it will not work between the both of you because, you lack basic intelligence.

TkhGuy:
It's hurtful, I don't know which side of the coin you guys want to follow but, she came that day, uninvited like she use to & know I have to tell her when she starts touching me & reaching my sensitive zone, I held her hands for a while & broke the silence,

I did tell her that we aren't going anywhere after noticing how flirty she is from first 1 month of our date, but she kept coming back, I have broken up with her prior to this, but she still comes to my place uninvited,

She is curvy & seductive, she is beautifully personified,
I don't have time to chase after girls due to the nature of my job, so, she has been the only girl I have all along,


I have carefully made my choice, ladies you all need to learn this cos most Nigerian guys will not tell you this or force it on you..

I can't marry a girl who doesn't trust me, or projects condom forward just at the point of having Bleep with her,

I can't have a girl who can't cook as a wife but gf yes,

I can't harbor a girl who questions my authority as my wife, but as gf yes

I can't take a girl who challenges me even to point of picking up a fight with me as a wife, but as girlfriend, yes

I can't take a girl who disobeys me as my wife, cheating will be nothing to her,

I can't marry a girl who is unapologetic, for girlfriend, yes but not a wife

I can't marry a girl who's 80% contact is raging with boys, even if there are all her cousin, or she doesn't sleep with them I don't care,

I can't marry a girl who wears make up 247 when coming and going and always on a tight body revealing clothes, what that means is she is not done advising herself to highest bidder

This are the conditions & challenges that i tried hard to stop my girlfriend from but she wouldn't let go,

We have dated for more than 3 years but this attitude never changes,

I found someone whom all this came from without me pushing for it, now she is crying out her eyes,

JonOfAustrlia:
My wife got pregnant again even with an IUD. We werent planning for it. As these babies are so small and require so much care already.

Its not like raising them in the village. We live abroad and we dont get help. It means we always have to be with them if not for daycare but then we are working. We are already so tired.


I dont know if I am venting or asking for advice. We are grateful but we are so tired already... what to do...?

AmazingELixir:


Old age don dey come small small for Omosexy..

ufotunang:
Omotola is getting old...no one can cheat nature...will soon become a grandmother.. when a first daughter or her children marry and give birth to children

Acidosis:
But that's the hard truth. The consequences for marrying or dating an insane animal will always manifest. Laws won't necessarily prevent harm. She can only cry and hope for justice. Justice don't raise the dead. Gender equality laws won't raise the dead either.

MrBrownJay1:
read the below and tell me what this is , if not cheating on her bf...

MrBrownJay1:
lol, come on now, as much as this is an unfortunate event , you cant possibly look at cheating mama as "blameless" on this issue. you cant expect a positive outcome from doing something wrong/negative, and as much as some people would ignore cheating, others would beat that cheating spouse black and blue....and yes, unfortunately some would go to the extreme and kill that cheating person etc (we see it happen time and time again, so lets not pretend here). thats what sometimes happen when you play with fire. you cant sit here now and say that mummy's failed actions have no part to play in this unfortunate event.

LETS BE REAL!!!!

MrBrownJay1:
as much as this man is seriously mad and should be hanged sharp sharp, cheating mummy should take part of the blame for tempting this mad man. what did she expect this mad man would do, if not to lose his damn mind?!?!?!?

as i always say: THOU SHALL NOT DATE/MARRY INSANE PEOPLE; AND IF YOU FOOLISHLY DO, DONT TEMPT THE ANIMAL!!!!

shantti:
It was fustration

princeemmma:
If my wife mistakenly do this to my daughter, we are divorcing right away, i don't joke with my daughter


This is completely insanity, your daughter stole that's just because you did not train her properly, or just because the girl saw you stealing from her dad.............................. why put her hands in hot water

We parents this days don't even know to react, when our children do the wrong thing...... most parent a mounting there day to day frustration on their children

shantti:
It's not her fault, it's not the kids fault too. I blame poverty for this

Kobojunkie:
He gave man dominion over everything, even those hormones.

Kobojunkie:
If God is really who you claim to want to please by your choice, then you want to make sure you have the right information to help you on your path. According to Jesus Christ, the one who is God's New Covenant and Law in the Kingdom of God, what is sin is not what you refer to as sexual immorality- fornication, masturbation, homosexuality etc. - instead sin is the lust in your heart towards another - Matthew 5 vs 27 - 28 - those fantasies and longings for sex are what constitute sin in the Kingdom of God.

So while you claim you have not physically engaged in what is sexually immoral activities in the 18 months period, that all means nothing when you consider that the sin is that committed in your mind/heart and not the physical activity itself.

Mvena:
Tomorrow is my birthday

knowhowk:
As a Married Woman ,Things seems not going on Fine ,Your Hubby has no Job ,Getting Customer is Hell ,As an Estate Realtor ,You have a Very serious Client who is Ready to buy a 50 Million Naira Property ,Your Commission is 5 Million naira ,The Client is bent on Saying He must Sleep with you before He buys it...

Your House rent has Expired , Insults and Embarrassement from the Landlord is Overwhelming ,Your Kids were sent back home ,it's 1 week now the have been Home.

Your mother is Terribly sick at the Village ,A quick Medical Attension is needed and You need money to get that done.Shishi you don't have ,This is a woman that you Cherish so much and you don't want her to die.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?

Petyprincess:
Celebrated my birthday yesterday with friends, and yes I was the caterer

hammer567:
TELL US, WHAT EXACTLY IS IGBO WOMEN PROBLEM, IF ANY?


ANCESTRAL LAND ONLY?

hammer567:
IGBO WOMEN ARE BETTER OFF THAN NORTHERN AND YORUBA WOMEN.

IF YOU WANT TO INHERIT ANCESTRAL LAND, WE CAN SOUGHT SOMETHING OUT LATER WITH REGARDS TO THOSE OF YOU THAT WANT LAND IN YOUR HOMETOWN.


HOWEVER, THE LAND IS NOT FOR SALE. U CANNOT CLAIM IT AND SELL.


U CLAIM IT, BUILD ON IT AND LIVE THERE.


STOP MAKING US OUT TO LOOK LIKE MONSTERS.

flokii:
Watch how the Igbos will turn blind eye to this injustice while the women look away..
If you observe well, over 90% of women of Nigerian roots deeply into feminism stuff both home and abroad are Igbos.. it's because of the bad experience they had in the hands of their males growing up and it has conditioned their minds to hate men in general.
Instead of forming a movement to change the women hating culture in Igboland, they go about acting like f0ols with no bearing, all they know is to hate on men and see every man as their enemy.

hammer567:
WOMAN, LISTEN, IT IS EITHER YOU STAY IN YOUR FATHER COMPOUND AND BRING HUSBAND TO JOIN YOU, BECAUSE OF LAND


OR YOU CLAIM LAND AND MOVE TO YOUR HUSBAND LAND TO DRAG IT WITH HIS SISTERS.


IN IGBOLAND U, AND I KNOW WOMEN GET THEIR FAIR SHARE OF PROPERTIES AWARDED THEM.


WE ALL READ OJUKWU WILL, AFTER HIS DEATH.

CSTRR:
What are you doing about this injustice as an Igbo woman?
What do you guys discuss in your August meetings?

CSTRR:
Then such culture is archaic.

There is no man alive that wants his properties to pass to his brothers when he has a daughter alive.

Na Igbo women I blame Sha, especially the lawyers among them.

They need to create an association to look into this problem and start locking up this men in prison for attempted theft of inherited property.

That is the only way it will end.


By law, a father's properties belong to the children or any specified next of kin.