₦airaland Forum

I totally agree.

I would add though that a good number of women reject condoms for different reasons such as:
- discomfort
- allergic reaction
- closeness of skin to skin
- feelings of being disposable
- ability to 'trap' someone (I think rare).

Zoie:
Honestly.
Though I believe the blame is to be shared.
Young women should place a high premium on their wombs, such that no bastard's sperm gets any right to evolve into a foetus there. No compromise.
Those advising postinor2 are ignorant. It is not a morning-after pill.

If condom itches his skin. Then let him get a vasectomy. Foolish females everywhere.

I went there with my babe. Amazing place and not too expensive tbh.

They should arrest this man.

If this story isn't fake.

Zoie:
Ladies on this forum, pay close attention to the advice most of the guys commenting gave the op.
Tomorrow you'll open leg for one guy to pour akamu, skin to skin.
Men will always look out for themselves. If you like, don't have sense.

OP, you're a wicked man. You're broke yet doing sex raw. After aborting again and again, you say you're not ready for marriage. By the time she destroy her womb permanently, you'll look for a virgin to marry.
I don't blame you completely, your foolish gf is to blame too.
Young women should know never to compromise with their wombs. So unfortunate she fell for a selfish niggaa like you. I hope she doesn't end up ruining her life for you. But then, she might, seeing she's eager to make you happy.


Young ladies on this forum, LEARN.

You. Are. Wicked.

(If this isn't a fake story)

How can you get her pregnant, again and come here with all these tales by moonlight.

I told people that the number of cases in Rivers is much higher than has been reported.

Think of all the people that have been infected through this bank alone.

You are looking for controversy where there isn't any.

Drfernandez:
I wonder what other meaningful compromise a woman who cannot tolerate a man who does not have money more than her or a man who can cheat on her can make for him.

On the male side, it is not a secret that a man will tolerate a woman who does not have money more than him and treats her well and may also tolerate her if she openly cheats on him.

So, will it be out of place to say that generally women are more selfish than men? If no, it will then be stupid and hypocritical for any woman to say that women are more considerate than men.

Those against @GuyInTheMirror wish for a good woman, what do you have to say, since all of you said that a man who insists on having a woman with good behavior is asking for too much.



Open invitation to the compromise crew:


Creamychic
saucecode
pocohantas
GuyInTheMirror
annex1
izzou
Romangalactic
Ariza
cochtrane
Ishilove
cooooooks

This your constant emphasis on perfect people dey suspect.

pocohantas:
Lmao @ deployed.

The angel is coming. Perfect people them.

You and saucecode should call me when the rice is ready abeg.

pocohantas:
Always resist the urge to be on my matter.

Lol.

The overthinking of things may ultimately be useless tbh.

The problem is that OP is thinking in generalities.

OP is not talking about specific people. He's talking about 'abroad Naija', ' Naija based' and 'foreign'. He's reducing every single woman to a stereotype.

I understand OP tbh. I stayed in Nigeria for 2 years recently and, even though I was not 'looking for wife', I still met just 2 people that I could see the possibility of something meaningful.

I'm not saying that wife dey everywhere but dem dey. Na d same Naija Al of us come from.

annex1:
I was only discussing the options he provided and weighing all sides. So in lieu off all you just said maybe mirror guy should not just marry.

Even if you marry someone from Nigeria direct, they will still divorce if they want to.


Canada for example has provisions for victims of abuse who want to divorce. They get PR sharp sharp.

annex1:
Another man missing the point. So when you finally meet this remaining two, wont your current fixed mindset also judge them as that - only being interested in his North America?

Having an open mindset is the best thing you can gift yourself. Besides what is bad in a lady wanting to be engaged with someone abroad? Even boboz will be ecstatic at this prospect.

If you read my posts, I spoke about mirror guy making TRADE OFFs because he cant have it all.

A. So yes he feels if he marries some Nigerian girl he is going to offer her North America (good trade)
Now look for what she is also good at and going to offer him and the marriage. Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multi-nationals, single, industrious and living effing comfortably. At the same time they'll still fancy the option of relocating. Appreciate the fact that in difficult Nigeria she is doing well, consider how elevating her to your North America will benefit you and the marriage. As for attitude, as a sound young man and "christian" that you claim, at some point you will always know if someone's attitude is off - by discussing various diverse topics and situations.
So tell me how will he give those remaining two a chance when he already has a fixed mindset?

B. Marry someone in North America that dont care about where you are. He is considering this option and this option eliminates his fear of Nigerian girls feigning love because of his "being in North America"
But NO, he wont because they are feminists and not under 26. Worst of all they like divorce.
So again why dont you make a TRADE OFF by accepting and appreciating the profits of equality in gender, marriage and household duties. Some men would jump at this. AGAIN, if you truly uphold respect and equality in marriage, why would you be afraid of her divorcing you if arent bent on frustrating her like you may or would have with no repercussion if yall were in Nigeria?

My Brother, you cant cut your cake and have it. This is marriage, you must make trade offs.

Lol. No wahala!

GuyInTheMirror:
@ the bolded..
mmmnnnn... You rasied good points and thanks for your time.

My first comment was an insult, let me now speak my mind:
- marry from abroad.

- your second option is actually similar to what I'm currently doing. The difference is that she didn't know I was going back, we actually love each other and had known each other for a few years.

- everybody is wise now. A good/bad wife will be good/bad whether they are abroad or not.

- again, you're better off marrying a 30-36 year old in N. America. If you have to marry a Nigerian, check well, look for a best friend. Join youth only discussion groups. I know a few that hold 1-2 hour discussions every Sunday evening.

- also, expand your horizons. Why will you swim all the way across the Atlantic to only marry from your village. There are other Africans, other continents, etc. Moreso if you're in academics

- Be prepared for equality in the real sense of the word. Even if you're bringing a wife from Naija, plan for equality. Equality in working and equality in responsibility.

- education should not be a stumbling block to marrying someone from Naija. Education is freely available in N. America.

- childhood friends!!!!!!

GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.

This is stupid.

CastingCrowns:
looking for decent ladies nowadays is like looking for a needle in a haystack... I pray u get your heart desire.. unfortunately for you once Nigerian ladies know u are abroad u become a marked man.. just pray.

Pre-nuptials are useless most of the time. They'll be tossed aside in court.

BlissB:
There should be someone you know that is within that age range here in Nigeria, why not try them out, or ask your relatives to sort some for you without disclosing anything about you to them.... though I heard Nigeria girls tend to change when they get there considering they now know that the system over there don't joke with women but I believe you can sort that out with pre-nuptials agreement to be on the safe side....One can never be too careful. Goodluck

Despite your age, you don't have sense.

GuyInTheMirror:
MODS PLEASE NO FRONT PAGE!!!

Hi everyone, so I am not a new member of Nairaland.
I decided to create this new profile so that I can be annonymous.
I was hoping to speak with some matured people here about the issue of marriage.

I am a 34 year old man who happened to immigrate about 2 years ago, I am a very gentle and highly ambitious person and God has blessed me.
I work for one of the biggest firms here in North America , I used to work in a great firm too back in Naija before immigrating.

Now to the issue of marriage, I am in a kind of dilemna.
I am the type of person that values marriage and a quiet life.
I do not smoke, drink or womanise. I am actually the type you'd call a church boy. I dream for a respectful wife whom I can love and adore and build a family with.

But it seems being in North America makes that complicated.
1. Majority of the women that surrounds me are in their 30s. I personally would prefer to marry someone not older than 26 years for personal reasons.
2. Many of these women are closet feminists and they tend to be much louder than the personality I am looking for in a woman I'd like to settle with.

I have attempted to start relationships with ladies that tend to meet my description back in Nigeria, but I became shocked cos it seems once a lady knows a man is abroad they become lovey dovey. They start to pretend like they are saints so that has put me off as I do not want a lady to pretend for me.

The options before me are :
1. Look for someone that is close to my requirement here and marry her and hope for the best.
2. Look for someone back in naija and marry and sponsor her to North America.
3. Wait for 2 more years, get my citizenship, come back to naija and blend in like a regular guy and try to meet a lady that does not know I am an abroad person to avoid pretense then try to get a babe. (In 2 years time I will be 36 years old, is this not too old ?)

I would like people with a lot of insight to educate me on what appears to be the best option.

This is actually pretty common.

One of my earlier cases, I was in SS2 and for about 3 weeks, some SS1 boys will come and tell me a girl in their class likes me.

I didn't mind them. Then it came to final day of the term, one of them rushed that the girl is so so and so and wants to see me. That's how we spoke for hours.


Another time, older, someone travelled from another city to visit me. Na so relationship start.

Another time, this girl said she was setting me up with her friend. We all went out and came back to my room (about 5 of us). Eventually, me and this girl remained. We watched a movie and slept off. Next morning she kissed me and et cetera.

Another time, in sec school, this girl somehow located my house. Her mother dropped her off sef.

Etc.

This is pretty common. #equality.

Let's not act like every walking man is a great choice for husband.

It is a plausible story. Not all people are the same (or with sense).

Even in my family, my uncle spent many months working nonstop to save for his wife's bride price.

tunary:
That is why this story is a suspicious story, it doesn't look genuine. I doubt this story

This is very true. Many women warn their families to avoid putting their husbands through stress.

Families that have sense do this instinctively anyways.

Nma3595:
Babes ooooooo hmmmmm am a woman like you, I wedded last august and this your story eeeeh, first why will you allow your family to milk the man you love? I told my father that if you dont treat this man well, you will never see me again........forget me as your daughter.

You are not working? No business? in this 21st century......sis you better have a rethink.... do you think that its easy to feed someone? pay rent, buy clothes, do everything in the house, DO YOU WANT TO KILL HIM? then you will marry another man.....

Why will your hubby contribute to your brothers marriage? pls what did your brother do when your parents gave him the list of 680k? he did not talk because he has a cut there abi?

How did you even keep your mouth when you were telling him what your family discussed?

See there are things i dont even allow my hubby to hear from my people...i kill the talk first first with my parents...why should i kill him and become a widow......... you better sit up and look for something doing.

When I snore, my ex gf would roll me onto my side such that I stop snoring. She would put a pillow on my side to prevent me from rolling and snoring again.

When she had operation and couldn't move too much, I would cook, feed, etc her.

We took care of each other.

That was bf gf o not marriage. Why was the first thing out of your mouth physical abuse...on yourself??

Iran is one of the few counties that doesn't require visas for Nigerian travellers.

SultanM:
Let them import our Muslim brothers here na

The cause of this is clearly the financial blockade on them by the US.

With money drying up, and their high education/literacy rates, BR and fertility rates had to decline.

These measures are not going to make a difference if economic growth doesn't explode.

Sonicroyel:
Iran has limited the provision of family planning services at state-run hospitals as it tries to boost its population size.
Vasectomies will no longer be carried out at state-run medical centres and contraceptives will only be offered to women whose health might be at risk.
Such services will, however, still be provided at private hospitals.
The government has become concerned about fewer births and an increasingly ageing population.

Annual population growth has dropped below 1% and, if no action is taken, Iran could become one of the world's oldest countries in the next 30 years, the health ministry says.
Just two years ago, the country was recorded as having population growth of 1.4%. The rate in neighbouring Iraq was 2.3% and 1.8% in Saudi Arabia, according to World Bank data .
Marriage and children within marriage are both in decline, Iran's state-run news agency Irna reports, largely because of economic hardship.
Last month, Deputy Health Minister Seyed Hamed Barakati reported that the marriage rate had dropped by 40% in a decade.
"With this trend, we will be one of the oldest countries in the world in the next 30 years," he said.
Iran enjoyed a population boom after the Islamic Revolution in 1979 but went to on implement an effective population control policy.
Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has been calling for people to have more children, saying he wants the current population population of 80 million to grow to 150 million.

We keep our names.

Our kids, if we have any, will answer a hyphenated surname.

Abfinest007:
good day everyone I have this question to ask you guys. Let assume you are financially sick what I mean is that, you are not OK financial and you have this girlfriend who is due for marriage. you are the only man in her life and you both love each other but the only obstacle for you marrying her is finance and her family agree you marry their daughter on one condition ,which is you have to change your surname to their own. What will you do knowing you stand to gain alot from the family because they are stinky rich and the surname can make way for you because she is the only child they have .let assume otedola has only one child will u marry the daughter and change your surname to their. Think before you answer

E get some "work from home" wet dey cost money. *Cough Mary Kay *cough!!

*Cough Binomo *cough

SweetCunt97:
Before na paper d work go dey bring in? Lol

Business and 'earning from home' are work too.

Take it as [b]working/enterprising[/b].

However, the work/business/enterprising must be bringing in money or on a workable plan...no MLMs[b][/b].

SweetCunt97:
Must she work? What about business or earning from home? Suffer no dey do una?

Marry a working wife! One who believes in pooling resources for a better life.

What are these factors:
- have a kid, it's a done deal regardless of length of relationship
- live together for a year, it's a done deal.
- file taxes together, even if you both have different residences, it's a done deal.

saucecode:
LIES

There are factors to be considered before being seen as having common law marriage, it's not just by having a gf

Just because you haven't met girls who offer a lot doesn't mean that they don't exist.

b0rn2fuck:
do you think Nigeria girls have anything to offer other than sex and the only things they listened to is money, after money na still money.

The OP, should try focus on something else and try locate a close brothel to cool its temper, he should stop even calling her, your happiness does not depend on someone else, that's why I made Trophy my best friend when Goldberg dey give me headache

Exactly!

The guy has no shame. The only thing he said was that her family is poor. Even after putting her through school. If there isn't more to the story, men like these are close to evil.

Decimus:
was she materialistic?

It wasn't her fault to be born into that kind of family bro. If she was good to you, you shouldn't have left her like that, you've left her a permanent scar

Pepper them. As someone with a twin and younger sister, I can concur. This is the reality of many many women.

Ulunne777:
First arrangee. Came back for Xmas and we finally met. He said if I agree before the end of the week we will marry. I refused, Oga wedded another woman end of the week. I marvel at women . You marry someone you are meeting for the first time in less than 3 days.

2nd Arrangee. Suddenly realized he was getting old. I was 19 and just got admission he was 34.There was nothing he didn't promise me even a car. My plans in life didn't have him in it. Will be disturbing me with midnight calls. #1 of his money I didn't see, an importer at that with so many shops. He doesn't give girls money lyk he said.His mum on meeting me for the first time told me if I won't marry him I shouldn't waste his time and money. I left him quick quick.
When I refused and left for school, he dated another girl that he paid for her school fee for 4 yrs including project and clearance then the girl absconded. I was on my way home from school when he met me on the road after 5 yrs to narrate the whole story and started begging me again.you and your mother should Eat your money. Nonsense

3rd was hellish. My lecturer. This man begged me at every opportunity until my course mates started laughing at us. He informed even his colleagues and they joined in begging me. He was in his 40s while I was in my early 20s.

After I went out with him on a lecturers insistence, he was gulping okra soup ND telling me he can't stay a day without eating it. We drove over to his house where he claimed he wanted to pick something. This man inserted porn for meoo and started caressing me as his gbola has risen. God saved me that day. Anuofia..

One week later he called me that our wedding cards was out. See me see wahala, I had to inform my bf and parents. It was war. Laslas he started threatening me with my results in final yr. My lecturer friend and my Course adviser had to warn him.

Almost a decade later, he isn't married yet which is his business anyway.

4th one that I was recommended to. On our first meeting the fool was squirming in his seat and when he could finally muster courage to talk had the guts to ask me if I was ready to bear children. I then asked him if that was all a wife means to him. Idiot. No introductions whatsoever.

They are plenty oo. For one man that esdapes a desperate woman, the woman has escaped 5x more. . E NO get wetin we no dey see.

Ps no pms. I already have 3 boys

Why did you leave her??

zuby4real10:
She was so desperate to the extent that even if she wants to give or collect something from me she has to kneel small. Always calling me her husband. She is more than 100% nice and submissive.she is the only lady that I have ever see that didn't wait for her man to introduce her to his family. I don't even know how she got my mum's number nd start communicating with her. I single handed sponsored her 3 years NCE education. From the comments I am seen here on nairaland is as if as I am the only man that sponsored a lady's education with out regrets uptil date. My only problem with this lady is that she and her family are so poor to the extent that they see me as their meal ticket, as if as am the best thing that ever happens to them. I thinked about the liability of marrying this girl and her family own I run. Uptil now the lady is still waiting and begging for me to come back. She is always asking what she did wrong. I beg I no fit kill myself, love and loyalty alone can not sustain a marriage cos they can't pay bills.

In Canada, you and your gf are married after 1 year in the eyes of the law.

iod69779:
In the US you get big tax breaks and your spouse can be on your health insurance, and if you have kids you get even more benefits. In Canada it's even more especially if you have kids. This makes some people who would ordinarily stay as lovers decide to get married. What benefits do you get in Nigeria for being married? Is there anything the society put in place to encourage or support married couples?