₦airaland Forum

I'm a Nigerian guy. Born and raised. There are wonderful non-olosho women ALL OVER the country. Men and women should GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA and find their partners in real life

Is feminist an insult?

fieryy:
I've gotten used to it. The insults are recycled anyway

FEMINIST, AWON SLAYQUEEN, OLOSHO etc

Just tantrums thrown by kids

This isn't true. An inconsiderate person is inconsiderate regardless of income.

sisisioge:
Oga....Nigerian guys are getting married while averaging 600k per annum. Most of them make terrible husbands though because tight finances bring on a lot of angers.

As per your income....you are more than ready financially. You just need to check your readiness on other areas.

This is not a gender war.

Men. Stop bankrolling women with nothing to offer. Stop toasting every woman and girl you see on the road. How won't a girl be entitled when grown men have been toasting her since she was 12? How won't she be entitled to pay men back when someone close to home had sex with her when she was 11??

Women. Date only who you live and respect. Don't bankroll a man you despise just because he makes you feel good. Follow your heart and not your checklist.

These gender wars are meaningless.

*narcissist

You can't even spell.

sisisioge:
Ohsey!


I would say never ever settle for an undiagnosed low esteemed unintelligent guy. It is much better to resolve low esteem issues when one is aware and willing to improve.

Also avoid narcist like a plague. These are way harder psychological issues to resolve compared to state of being broke.

BEING. IN. A. RELATIONSHIP. IS. NOT. EXISTENTIAL.

The clergy is mad.

hooha:
Please is this statement true? This statement came out from a clergy.. I may not be perfect about his statement, but his statement passed a message that girls who remain virgins are a product of mums who married as virgins..But if you survey, you may get some truths on it.

What happens if he still likes her? What happens when he likes somebody else? Do you think he will share such info with you?

You are pushing him to the internet which will ultimately lead him to porn.

Orestino:
Flog him for opening up at your own peril! that will be the last time he'd open up to you about anything.

[s]Best bet is to tactically talk him out of it making him see reasons why he shouldn't have such feelings at such tender age!
[/s]
Best of luck

And he will grow up thinking of girls/women as the 'other'. HE is unlikely to believe in gender equality. Just because you were too stupid and shy to talk with your son about your son's real feelings.

Even if you tell him to forget about the girl. What makes you think he will? What should he do when he likes somebody else?

Ishilove:
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with what your child is feeling. He is having his first childhood crush and beating him will discourage him from opening up to you. Your baby is very vocal, unlike us who expressed our feelings by constantly cussing and fighting with our crush.

What you should do is gently discourage him from exploring his tender feelings for his classmate. Just let him know that liking the girl is not bad, but let it end there. When he is older he can be friends with her but for now good girls and boys must always 'mind their business', get good grades and become useful members of the society

What is there to 'correct'??

This is just as bad. Don't over-react to this, it is a natural process. Just check in with him every week or 2 weeks in passing.

greatme2good:
I hope you didn't flog that boy when you got home coz if you did, you have closed every form of closeness he has with you. Just correct him with love.

Are you mad?

Not only is that evil, but he also will NEVER trust you again.

Xcelinteriors:
Please tell me the things to tell him because I don't know. I really plan to flog that stupid feeling away from him when we get home

Buy the land.

Speak with a lawyer and see what the pros and cons are with regards to keeping your husband's name off the paper.

Would he be willing to put money into the property if his name is not on it?

Can you somehow get a counselling session with a lawyer or maybe a pastor (I'm not religious but it could work) that you both respect?

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

At least 30% of young Nigerian women are prostitutes, depending on your definition of prostitution.

Ezedikechinedu1:
What do you have to say about this topic? I have heard many stories of men that married a woman that was once a s€x worker prostitute. To me I think it's a taboo.

Earlier today I went into argument with some group of guys like that, and they said that it is not wrong for a man to get married to a woman that was once a prostitute. They said that she was using it as a business to feed herself.

Read more https://netvilox.com/romance/can-you-date-a-girl-who-was-once-a-prosttute/

Are you making money yourself?

Not everybody is interested in killing themselves for Masters/going abroad/making more money.

As long as he is working and keeping up with his responsibilities, reduce the pressure. Marry him for who he is not who you are molding him to be.

IF you don't like him as a person, not as a number or a degree, leave him. IF you do, think about what you're doing. Love, real sustainable love is hard to come by.

Go out on dates, nothing expensive or crazy. IF you don't like them after 3-5 meetings, cut it off with them.

Norahsthought:
Hey guys, so a little background story. I'm 25, finished school quite early (schooled abroad), and got a good headstart. I am pretty comfortable, I have a good job with a great growth trajectory. So really, I'm focused on my career right now and not particularly interested in starting a family soon.

So here's the real story. I have two male friends who have shown interest in marrying me. They are both doing very well and from equally good backgrounds. I initially wasn't interested in marriage (at least for now) but you know friends and family. I am not in love with any of them or even with anyone at the moment (I am a woman of war lol) but they are both great guys.

So my challenge now that I have decided to be open to marriage is this, how do I choose? Should I even listen to the advice of friends and family to open up to getting married to one of these men or should I just wait till when I feel ready? I need advice and please be nice.

Send him a message on WhatsApp and SMS everyday asking why he's ignoring you. Do this once or twice a day for like 2 weeks.

Sorry about this.

Haviza:
So there is this guy that attends the same university that I attend and we are very close. We have intimate discussions, spend time together and we flirt with each other. We aren't dating officially, but we both find each other attractive and we've both shared our feelings for each other.

We are currently living in different states due to the lock down. I live in Lagos while he lives in Enugu.

During this lockdown period we have been communicating via WhatsApp chats, calls and video calls. Sometimes we talk till 3 am in the midnight.

But over a week now this guy hasn't talked to me. He just stopped replying my messages all of a sudden. I sent him a voice message and he listened to it but didn't respond. I called his phone multiple times last week and he didn't pick. Last midnight I saw he was he was clearly online and I sent him messages but he didn't respond.

I don't know what to do. I really like this guy and it's hurting me that he is ignoring me. I didn't do anything wrong. Should I keep calling and texting or should I give him space?

I don't think this applies here.

Do not deny an adult woman her agency in having sex.

MelaninSkinGirl:
The typical Nigerian man is a misogynist, you will have daughters one day and your fellow male comrades will destroy her like you have destroyed women. #Karma#

She cheated on you. Ehen? So ? Did it remove any hair from your body??

Cut her loose and stop behaving like an evil person.

RUN!

funkmrflexx:
We Have Been Dating For 1 Year and 6 months now. I’ve met her parents, we wanted to get married last year but her dad told me to wait till she finishes school which is supposed to be next year. I’m 25 years old and she’s 22 .

I live alone in the city while my mom lives in the village. My younger sister who I’m sponsoring through school sometimes comes to my place during holidays and weekends. My girlfriend practically lives with me because she comes from a type of an Abusive family. So she lives with me and I even assist her with school fees and house rents sometimes. I’ve spent even more than her father for her school.

Everyone In my family knows her and she’s a very wonderful girl. Typical wife material. She supports me every time even when I’m broke. I’m not the type of guy that dates a lot of girls . I don’t even cheat on her. Since I met her I’ve done away with a lot of ladies. I’m 100% committed to the relationship

But the problem is that she Has very bad anger issues. I mean she can destroy your property when she’s angry and I’m the quiet type. I don’t like hitting a lady execpt once in a while a general brain resetting slap. When she starts she doesn’t listen to anyone. Not me, not even her parents. So anytime she’s angry like this I will just find a way to make her laugh. Both of you can just be eating and she will get angry if you ate the fleshy part of the meat and left oily part for her (we have quarreled because of that I mean serious quarrel) . Sometimes I get tired of the whole situation. At the end even when she’s wrong I’ll let her for peace to reign. So I try to manage the anger at home so it shouldn’t go out

So we went to visit my mom in the yesterday. Because of curfew we slept over. So my mom bought us mangos this morning and told us to carry.

My girlfriend then said she doesn’t like mango that if I want to eat my mango I should carry it myself. Then my mom (she is the type that always shouts at every body. The real wahala woman) told her that if she can’t carry the mango then she should just put it on my head for me to carry na (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na).

That was the only thing my mom said. Then she sparked. Started shouting at my mom. That she should stop talking to her like that, that she doesn’t like it. In fact she’s going home. So she carried her bag and started going home. Every one in the compound started saying it’s ok (Na dat thing why dem tell u Dey make u Dey vex so) she was still shouting. I was even try to calm her down but no way. She was still shouting. Even my sister who had never seen her angry before became angry (na so you b? She said). I was really disappointed In her

The issue is what even made me angry is how she reacted. If she didn’t like what my mom said made her angry. At least she should have waited till we got home (this was the first time we were both sleeping over) then she would tell me. Or she could have called my sister and told her what my mom said. After all the fracas, she went inside the room till we left. I just told everybody to just leave her.

So when we got home I told her what she did was wrong that she shouldn’t have reacted like that. Na there war start. She started yelling and shouting at me that if my mom talks to everyone like that she won’t take it (my plan was to tell her that she should apologize to her. Because my mom already apologized that she won’t talk to her again like that. Which I know she will o . So we can just forget about the issue. But she never accepts she’s wrong ) She said I took her to my village to intimidate her in front of my family people, I was really angry and called her uncle and told him what happened. He said there was nothing wrong with what my mom told her (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) and that he would talk to her .

I even scolded my mom before I left that I didn’t like what she said what she did that’s she was just causing issue. My girlfriend said when my mom said the word (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) that I should have immediately rebuked my mom. But me sef no see anything wrong with what my mom said( If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

I just Dey follow her uncle advise and leave her be until she calms down and I talk to her

So my people what’s offensive in this word? If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

But this her attitude don tire me. Break up is not on the card for me at least not yet. She always thinks that they are other guys out there because she has a lot of toasters but I know they can’t do quarter of what I’m doing for her. In this modern time it’s difficult to see a guy who will allow his girlfriend stay with him thereby losing his freedom to do certain things. A guy who doesn’t cheat, a guy who takes care of her does everything for her .

I just think the things she went through in her family is affecting her physiological. And sometimes when I think about leaving her I feel pity because she can’t go back to her parents house.

I truly do not understand your point.

HammedOlanaija:
Why can't you leech your partner
It's love and that's if there is money but when there is no opportunity for one to carry out such task
The woman need to learn how to tolerate.
But even if there is money sef no be say you go come drain your partner reach bone all cos you want him to satisfy him.
A normal lady should learn how to adjust and make plans for herself and her husband
That's where the intellectual part of older ladies is needed
These young small small girls will just be billing you

What does 'older' mean?

1 to 5 years is nothing and doesn't count. Older than that and what matters is the perception. If we live each other, and if it is abundantly clear that none of us is financially leaching off the other, then yes.

Tell this guy that you disagree with his expectations and if he won't change those demands, y'all should stop deceiving yourselves.

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month

20 - 28

tellsblinks:
please I have plans of marrying at a very young age (25)

but I don't want to sound like a paedophile and I would love to senior my wife with at least 8 or 9yrs

what age is best to marry??

Good punish you

Notateflonguy:
What wike did to an extent was not right at all we know...but I feel sowore should have better ways of expressing his views ...you can criticize sth without insults...na all this kind talk dey make am always dey behind bars....which one be wike is mad...express yourself without insults...everybody and their life sha

Don't do this!

Romance her out of the wrapper. Cuddle with her.

1beat:
Bro.. just download a White girl picture wearing bum short, use it as your phone wallpaper and screen saver flaunt it anytime you're at home.l know ur wife will be jealous to ask you who is she, just tell her you downloaded it and that is what you prefer to be looking anytime you're at home or less busy because it make your body and brain settle. without spending money or argument she will do the needful. so immediately she change you remove the picture

do this and thank me later

Biko don't listen to your pastor. You deserve a better person. All marriages should be equitable in their sharing of duties.

So you left a good relationship with someone you respect because of your ego

jawalis:
Hmm. It’s not rare bro. It depends on you as a man. You chose the type of lady you mingle with and you carefully chose the ones you fvck/date.

As to what lead to the break. I can’t withstand in-law to be dictating for me and tell me not to bother on expenses just because you are financially above my status. I’d rather call it a quit. So I left

How were Igbos out of Nnewi treated by Biafran soldiers during the war?

Massacre upon massacre.

Admissionclass:
I am Igbo from imo state I just hate the fact that Igbos outside the southeast deny their Identity I am an ipob member.

They marry o. Na she go ferry push you to marry.

Done Western countries will tie you too your spouse for 3 to 5 years.

sassysure:
And u think that babe will marry him?
Guy know she is using him that's why he is running

Don't mind them!

Even if the woman is 50, she can still conceove o and oyigbo countries are advanced enough to take the pregnancy to term.

There's nothing like being 'timid' as a woman o. And their women are exercising everyday so if na to fight she go fight you o!!

sassysure:


I see them here shouting they want oyibo woman.
What do they know.
U go fk in the morning, afternoon and night. Add midnight everyday.
All the fantasies they have watching black porn will be carried out on your body. And if u are not careful, pregnancy will follow which is like 18 months of salary and supervision cos they will not want to marry you

System made it very easy for them.

It always works.

UnknownTexty:
That is my option B, it doesn't exactly work

I don't think I can marry in we country o.