₦airaland Forum

It's not about 'better'. There's a different girl it there waiting fort him.

Semperty:
What are you waiting for? You want to force her love you? Bruv she made it clear she has no iota of feelings for you ... Move on and erase her out of your life asap. There are many girls better than her out there believe me.

Not all men want 'submissive' women. I don't even know what that means. This of us who believe that marriage is partnership cannot be talking about submission. Equality all the way.


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Liliantalks:
So there was a thread yesterday night n the OP was complaining about women demanding for men , he said prostitution is okay n porn stars is okay , but women who demand from their boyfriends r the immortal people ( makes no sense ofcourse) a lady made some valid agrument against it , n emphasis on men doing the needful for their wives and girlfriend , and women also being summissive to them , which to me is absolutely correct, well men attacked her for simple agreeing that ofcourse women deserve to be treated as queens. Which is normal in this platform

My point : Men just showed me that they r very confused with what they went , you want a woman to share bills with you n expect her to be submissive at the same time ? That’s impossible and that’s the reason a lot of marriages are not working . If u want submissiveness be a MAN , the way God Sa’id it n till the soil. Don’t look for a woman to share bills with u n think u can tell her what to do , it will never work .

And trust me no woman wants a man feeling entitled to her money, in other to make ur home function , cause it’s ur home , they r all answering ur surname ,

if u feel sharing bills or hving a woman who can take care of herself with out ur input is what u want , don’t complain when she feels she’s can make decisions in the home without ur input . No matter how much ur woman make , she is ur responsibility, she’s only there to help when things r tough .

Ps : date ur kind of woman , if a woman is demanding leave her alone n stop complaining to us , if u don’t spend , another man will spend.

If you're in Canada, I know the perfect lady. You'll be lucky to have her. A strong, independent woman.

stobery:
Must be tall and lively with good sense of humour

Dm me if you are interested, no jokes pls

Teach them from young, 2-3. Why? So they know how to protect themselves, report and run away from all those evil uncles and aunties.

My family's school starts sex ed from Nursery 1. By nursery 2, the kids can recite what they're supposed to do if someone comes touches them, offers them sweet, tries to play too much.

Bluntsisi:
Even if you keep the knowledge of sex and sexuality away from your children, they would still learn it all from many other sources which might be even worse.
So, is it right to teach them everything they needed to know straight-away??

Kim Kardashian is at least 100 times richer than that Basketball player. Stop spewing nonsense.

The Kardashian family as a whole is like 500 times richer than the guy.

lefulefu:
marriage dont last long in america.many ladies in america get married for the sole reason of collecting alimoney money from their husbands.didnt kim kardeshian some few yrs back got married to a wealthy basketball star and divorced him after 30 days .i heard the guy is paying her alimony money till now.the other ladies that cant hook a man in marriage get pregnant for as many different men so as to be collecting welfare money for different men.America is a very crazy place abeg .

Marriage for the right to say "I'm married" doesn't make you a man but is sadly considered 'mature' by our parents and some youth in our community.

Having children from numerous gfs is also irresponsible.

The rate at which our future wives immoralities is going ehnn, very alarming.. Check slimcase IG page and see d girl u r planning to wife display ur body for just 5k..

When will men get to know that u stand to lose much in a relationship and getting married is the worstest of all?

Guys, marriage doesn't make u a man, it doesn't make u responsible.. Don't bliv what we have heard, men shud get a lady for two purposes; sex and kids.. Marriage shud be out of it.

A lady can't expose her nude for just 5k on internet and you spend over 2 millionaire to marry her.. It's a waste, yes, total waste of money.

Come out of that manipulation....
Most Ladies ain't worth being called a housewife, only few are marriageable... Only a handful.


Some men wish they never got married.. I cant imagine working 24/7 around the clock to please a lady..... Even after getting al what I worked for, I still get a little, she get most of it.
Worst of it all, your kids will always choose the mother as their favorites forgetting that a man made life easy for them.



Baby mama is the way out jare.... Kant coman kill masef

You need some deliverance.

The Red Pill is a movie documentary by Cassie Jaye (http://theredpillmovie.com/) that explores some problems facing men in the USA. The lady started the movie as a way of 'exposing' 'man-haters' but eventually realized the grievances many men have.

She even used a Nigerian example: #BBOG, BringBackOurGirls. She showed how, for months, Boko Haram killed boys from male boarding schools to no outcry. She showed how the whole world only became serious about Boko Haram kidnapped some girls.

The people who need red pills are those who look down on themselves, those who have been led to believe that their only worth is getting a girl/guy to like them.

People like the guy who said his gf left him in her room to sleep in another guy's room; or the guy who said his fiancée cheats all the time but he loves her; or the girl that said her boyfriend beats her because he loves her. Smh.

Women need and can take the red pill too.

Magnoliaa:
Are you a redpiller?

What's this thing about (because I've seen a veeery minute number of guys say it's not what it seems like)?

Oh for sure. I don't expect to be with someone who doesn't think this way.

Veefierce:
see I can help my husband , why not , but the believe that a woman demanding from her boyfriend or husband is a bad thing is absolute rubbish ! To the extent people feel u should condemn them , poverty mentality then applaud prostitutes how senseless ,not like what they r doing is bad, cause it’s their body but that’s so contradictory!

Thinking marriage is a partinership is cool , just get a girl with the same school of thought

I hope you have a wonderful home, like you want.

I still believe marriages are partnerships.

Veefierce:
well it’s a beautiful one ,, n this is exactly how I want my home to be

Shuffering and smiling.

A long marriage is not necessarily a good one.

That's why some people say they've 'endured' for 30 years. �

Veefierce:
lol almost 30 years in marriage my dear !! U don’t need to understand it

I've never understood this approach and I don't tolerate it.

If marriage isn't a partnership then what are we??

Veefierce:
see my mom is a big liability to my father ,,, my father still contributes money to her business now or then . My father clothes her!! My mother is not using five naira from her money to do any family stuffs!! The money is hers to spend ,, even after getting her monthly upkeep she still looks for ways to get money from my daddy ! Lol ! Funny woman !

After you get father? Do you put good on her take? Don't assume that everyone follows your routine.

Babapyro:
My post was not aimed at ridiculing or attacking the female gender, I respect women and it is out of the respect and love I have for the female gender that made me poor out my heart. And most of all knows that this issue is predominant with the females,I mean just look at the sheer number of slay queen/prostitutes on Instagram alone.
Moreover I have a daughter and I can't imagine seeing my daughter like that.
As I speak I have a boy close to my compound ,the boy is like a son to me his girlfriend has been with him till the start of this corona issue till date and the girl is only 16,how does a 16year old leave her father's house for more than a month.

Yup. There are held in our society and they are not rates but they are not plentiful.

I've had to hire people in Nigeria and it is quite glaring.

Katier00:
In as much as I condemn the act of begging and sell one's body for money, it is sad to note that the likes of op only see women engaging in such disturbing act. Nowadays men beg more and are ready to to prostitute because of money. It is embarrassing and disgusting to see a man selling his birth right for a bowl of porridge. Just this year alone about five guys I called for job interview wanted to have personal relationship, one even sent me his nudes with the caption, "I know how to bring in the best in you both professionally and in your bedroom. The bottom line is that youth of today, has got it all wrong and we the parents are not getting it right, we allow our children to be so dependent on us that they can't stand on their own. In my list of those begging for airtime, the guy folks top. So it is not not the women, our society is sick

That's comparing apples and oranges. There's no market for masturbating men, there is for women.

Babapyro:
As a matter of fact I have,more than once it's called coprophilia.how many men gets strafed by 3guys at the same time for money,or masturbate on live TV for as low as 20k.
Tell me how many men depend on women for money and material things.
This girls practically depend on guys for everything ranging from phone,make up,hair,upkeep, rent everything.

You dated in 1998 and you're still dating? Uncle why?

The economy was much better in 1998. If you graduated, you had a job. Virtually guaranteed.

There are still 'normal' women but the numbers are low among the young under 30 women.

Babapyro:
It is embarrassing to see how low the standards of our ladies as become,most of Nigerian girls see themselves as a money making machine and they don't mind doing anything to get cash including the unthinkable, I can vividly remember how girls were in the 90s,no one really cared about how much you are worth,it was all about feelings and mutual understanding, I once dated a girl in 1998 that refused to allow me to pay for dinner,she insisted we had to split the bill,that was how cautious and impressive girls were.
Nowadays if you go to Instagram you'll see thousands of Nigerian girls posing almost nude on a social platform.
Look at what is happening currently with gilrs striping naked and doing unspeakable things on a live video because of 20k.
How much more low can this girl's standard get,nowadays you can have any girl you want including the married ones if you have enough money.
They have practically reduced themselves to a sex object,a means of sexual gratification or should I say a means to an end.
Some weeks ago I saw a girl sitting all by herself in a mall and I approached her paid for our foods and talked at length.when we were about to part I asked for this girl's contact and she plainly asked me if I'm ready to SPEND HEAVILY ON HER,BECAUSE SHE'S GOT AN EXPENSIVE TASTE,SHE SAID IF I WAS READY SHE COULD EVEN COME TO MY HOUSE THAT SAME DAY AND HAVE FUN WITH ME,I was embarrassed on her behalf,this girls see relationships as a JOB OPPORTUNITY and it is embarrassing to say the least.
Girls I'm begging you please change and improve on this, have some self respect and dignity because at the end of the day you have everything to lose.

I think more Nigerian men should delink their worth from the ability to get a 'babe'.

However, some red pill teachers are wayward, hypocrites (who cry into dms), or just venting. Check out Janice Fiamengo on YouTube, she's a UOttawa professor and other Red Pillars like her. Check out the Dads for Justice movement in North America too. There are some European groups but I can't recall their names.

Listen to more sophisticated Red Pillars to have intelligent points and viewpoints.

STOP. PAYING. TITHES.

Mavrick2012:
I heard my neighbor asking another neighbor if he can pay tithe from the 20k alert he got from government.

This got me thinking.

Are members expected to pay a tenth of whatever they get at this difficult period?

Forgive

You can't be serious.

Newdawn30:
Everything was fine BTW us till late last year when she started changing. Our sex life was great till late last year, whenever I make a move to touch her she always say she was tired or not in the mood. It was strange cos she has a large appetite for sex. Then every weekend she hardly spend time with me, it either she had to for her a week training or she had to go home to see her parents which was odd . Even when I told her to stay she refused, it was always one excuse or the other.Then we began having fights even over the silliest things. I was away for a month and I came back early because of the lowdown. I decided to check her message, that's how I learnt that she had been having affairs with other men(3) Including married man she introduced to me as a friend. Same girl that hated ladies that sleep with married men was doing same.
I feel so broken cos I never expected such a thing From her . We are supposed to get married by 3rd quarter this year... I still have feelings for her cos she has been begging and saying she regrets her action begging me not to tell her mom. Her mom is the only person I can trust to knock some sense into her. I'm scared that if I forgive her she might do it again.
Nairalanders I need your advice. I had built my world around her

Too many Nigerians, men and women, allow tired stereotypes to cloud their judgement instead of meeting people on a personal level.

Your loss, I'm sure she's making another guy very happy, very lucky.

Leave him o biko.

You are growing up, realizing your worth and what is important in life and to you.

Better now than later.

Congrats.

Acmepreneur:
I used to call him fiancée before but bow, I have realized he's a boyfriend.we've been together for more than 4years.
I'm so tired of him right now, I love him and he loves me according to him.
My boyfriend was supposed to be my only friend because he's the only person I trusted the most in the entire universe. He prefers to chat and gist with his friends, not me.
The only thing he likes us to do is sweet talking, if I give him the chance, we would spend the next 5years discussing rubbish. E.g''how are you my baby, have you eaten etc.

He never discuss marriage, I'm always the one to bring up the topic, and he's bored a minute into it. Sometimes he says we are still young and sometimes he says not to pressure him.
Sometimes he would say I'm not ready
I never said we should do it now but all I'm saying is we should at least know where we are going and have some plans, or even discuss how our marital life would be.

He's good at saying sorry at every slight complain without allowing me to finish my sentence, that annoys me so much, because its a hypocritical sorry, and he would be angry if I say its hypocritical and tell me so many people want someone that would be apologetic and if I know his mind deep down.

I'm someone that derives joy in planning for future, but my boyfriend doesn't at all. No single plan about us except in his head, sometimes when I challenge him, he could say he planned this and that.
If I tell him today, I'm going to Canada, he doesn't mind, tomorrow Australia. He could say he's planning to go to Spain. I believe he should at least let us plan together where we both would be together, but he just doesn't care.
There's no US in his plans, only him,and in my plans too, I intentionally tell him those things I'd he would even say, what about us, but he doesn't at all.

Our relationship is filled with quarrels because of this behaviour of his, very lackadaisical about us, but yet, he only want to discuss sweet things, and if I don't give in, he will start to be angry. How can I be happy when our life is not progressing and he's not helping matter, sometimes he would call me a sadist, and that I don't like peace between us.

He doesn't care if I grow or not either, he just want to see me grown, he tells me that I'm broke and my mates are doing Better than myself. I like to tell him to do this and that to better his life, but he has turned me to a disturber and I should face my own Godforsaken life with my useless Msc.

Yesterday, I told him to stop calling or chatting me if he doesn't want me to curse him because he doesn't make me happy. Its better we don't speak because we won't fight, but if he calls and we speak, he would expect me to be replying his sweet words in a happy mood which is not possible, he could then gets angry and cut the call. That is when I would burst out and reminded of his lackadaisical behaviour in the relationship. If we don't talk, I won't remember him and thus won't be so hurt.

He's working and gives me money and thus he's good to me, he doesn't give me any problem oher than those listed above, he's a gentle person, and doesn't get angry, if he gets angry, he's easily calm. He doesn't cheat or with any bad behaviour

Clear assault is still misunderstanding??

And that guy will not leave the relationship of.

Only time people should be slapping each other is in the bedroom.

Ideally get married or Common Law partner.

ashewoboy:
like for get married


share for a baby daddy.



then state your reason.

You hit the nail on the head.

A spiralling lack of dignity is a plague in our community. Men and women are suffering from this problem.

Never believe that "you can't do anything without someone"; that "you have to settle"; that "you're lucky s/he is even *allowing* you to date them"; etc.

wjxavier:
My family has always raised dogs since I was a kid, we've raised hundreds of dogs, sometimes we've had up to 15-17 dogs in our home.

Sometimes in the 90's, I remember we had this beautiful dog, happy dog, cross breed Alsatian. Something like that and everybody loved it and it was so playful, so friendly, we loved it. The color was so beautiful and because of that, we all loved it.

We used to castrate our dogs, but on this one, somehow we all forgot. So one day, dad remembered that ''oh! Oh! Oh! This dog is 6-months old, if we don't castrate it, it's gonna start going out and get killed looking for bitches' to bang”.


Now, My dad is a surgeon, so he got us together and he performed the surgery on the dog and we thought that was it.

Turns out the dog was crazy like fucking psycho or something like.... the dog went into depression.

Like...it stopped eating completely. You know, it practically, Major practically starved itself to death because he was castrated when it was already having erections and trying to-you know- sleep with his own mum.

He died because he loved his dick.

Now to my point.

There is a level of awakening in even dogs that there are certain things they will never accept, they will rather die than accept and the same things goes with humans, especially men.

You don't do certain things to your man and sweep it under the carpet.

When you have a man in your life, whether its marriage or dating or whatever you want to call it and he's offended at you for something...

Whatever you do to a man that makes him not touch your food, it's not anger its hurt. It is his pride that's been hurt and because of that he finds it impossible to touch your food especially because when a woman offends you...

One of the hardest things for an average woman to do is to apologize or to address it. They would rather just sweep it under the carpet and act like it never happened.

They disrespect you and then come and cook for you. And that's treating em like our dog, Major.

It’s like you flog your dog and then you come and feed it the next day. Your dog poops somewhere and then you're offended and you flog it, you know- you just discipline your dog and then you come and feed it after.

No, so being rude, hurting a man’s pride, disrespecting your man and then bringing him food after, expecting him to eat is like..... Is he your pet?

You know, that's the thing and that's why I want to say it's not malice. Because a woman would normally blow it up and say ''Oh yeah! You're keeping malice, you won't eat my food''. And then start creating all kinds of drama and bring people into the show and everyone asking you to eat her food.

No, that's not life.

It's not malice, it's dignity.

If he accepts that, he has enabled you to continue in that pattern.

Listen, girls. You don't apologize with sex or food to your man. You apologize with words.

And if you cannot do that, you should not even bother getting into a relationship or especially a marriage for that matter.

So that’s it, ladies.

It’s not malice. It is dignity.


For the men reading this. This is not an excuse to manipulate (and if you do, it always bites back anyway).

Some men may even disagree but I get it. Not all men are kings.

For those who were refreshed by this article, I have a 7 page report on my one page website: [url]themansociety.org[/url]

When did cheating become a 'trivial matter'?

People should stop accepting nonsense. It's very simple.

mignone:
Oga, pls stop propagating separation and/or divorce over 'trivial' matters. Do u think it's bliss to dissolve a marriage jst like dt?
I'll personally insist that a couple try resolve matters btw them first,then separate or file for a divorce only when their case is irredeemable.
In fact, a temporary separation works for some; they wld av got sm sense by d time they get bk together.

Since when did not cheating become reserved for angels only? That is literally the barest minimum, the default.

Normalizing nonsense is our downfall.

blovesther:
hmmmmm and please don't be polygamous especially if your tradition doesn't go against it for women.
if you want your wife to be an angel, you should first create an heaven

She was told that her man paid for another woman's food at a restaurant. She had every right to think he was cheating.

She confronts him and he gives her his excuse (which could be true) then he proceeds to tell her that he didn't mean to hurt her.

That can be seen as a subtle put down. A declaration that she is lesser without him. A psychologist friend of mine says it is a natural instinct of ours to try this tactic and that the other person could feel that you mean so much to them that they should suspend logic for your case.

Anyways, I like her response and he should appreciate it too. Ballsiness is good.

Albertone:
Only your contribution is odd here lol
How does what his gf said translates to her being strong ,not scared nor needy

I don't know much about NL beefs. To be clear, there are women in Nigeria (or of Nigerian descent) who believe in actual equality/equity, who aren't trying to sell themselves and call it love but they are in the minority.

In a way, that is dangerous too because when we do meet such women, we could turn a blind eye to other red flags just because they pass the very low bar we have come to expect.

GreatResearcher1:
such is life. Haven't u seen dis 1 am exchanging words with? He sends pm to any monike with (f). If in doubt, change ur icon to (f) within seconds u'd get a pm frm him.

You can't create money out of thin air.

If he doesn't have the money, he doesn't aether money.

rockstarB:
Prostitution is older than your generation, and it will continue till the end of time. Men of integrity dont borrow from their women and not return it. There is no shame in borrowing from your woman, the shame is when you refuse to return it and keep on borrowing because you sure know how to play the victim! Using reverse psychology to collect money from women.

He's using you.

Being a bread winner isn't the problem. Depending on you for that money is.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

Any differences will be individual and not general.

If you're looking for timidity or naivety, you won't find it with rural girls because the world is a global village, nothing is hidden.

However, if the girl is from the guy's hometown, speaks the same language as the guy and/or his parents then you have a real competition.

Try without condom, it might be part of the problem.

Spman:
once posted earlier this year about having premature ejaculation coupled with anxiety issues so i work on it, i stopped masturbation since last year then i exercises, eat fruits and bitter juice and i also stopped taking sugars.
Then on 3 occasion i fck my babe which went on completely okay, she even begged me to stop that she is tired.
But later we were far away and today she traveled to see me only for my dick to disappoint me..
I don't if it's being anxious bcus am always doing a lot of exercise and others but today i was so worried though she kept on giving me courage to seek for medication soon.
D funny part d beginning my dick rise hard but after much waiting for her to remove everything my dick went flat just when i want to wore condom...
Then after some while i tried but i cum and d cum was watery.....
Though i don't know if it's her own fault bcus she doesn't fancy kissing and we don't romance much i only endure by telling her to climb over me so that her ass can kick my thing up bcus Ass is that thing that trigger my dick to rise...
Although i don't know what to do
I tried calming myself down and not be anxious but i don't just know why..
Am confused as Bleep.
Why me?
Bcus i always take d necessary steps.
I exercise
I eat, garlic, ginger, fruits, i don't smoke nor drink.
I do take bitters but why am i still experiencing this?