₦airaland Forum

We dey look.

Teachings like what the OP wrote leads people to marry for sex and leads to all the problems you alluded to.

Is it not in our country that some guys are saying I married you, therefore, you must be ready at anytime?

Eulalia:

The Will of God is that when a man (not a boy) has attained a certain stature where marriage can be embraced, (after such a man has discovered his identity and purpose on earth), He (God) should be approached to provide a woman (not a girl) who will become his wife. After God has provided the woman, prior to marriage, the couple embark on what we call courtship, where they learn to know more about themselves (in an attempt to make necessary adjustments before they tie the knot), and must not defile the marriage bed during the courting period (that is, must not indulge in premarital sex).




Please loud it to all the small boys and girls here deceiving themselves thinking marriage is all about sex. They are too much here.


Reason we have so many failed marriages today. They just rush themselves with sex, then jump into marriage not really understanding why they are embarking on that journey.
Im very sure if I entered into marriage a long time ago when the first suitor came at age 20, I would probably have gotten tired by now and run out cos I didn't know jack about what marriage is all about or the spiritual indication and God's plan and purpose for marriage. But now I know to a large extne and a lot is still being unfolded during this waiting period. Hmm... Marriage is not "boyfriend a.d girlfriend in lalaland" hmm... I still learnt a few things even of recent. Marriage is not about size, beauty, handsomeness, height, tribe and color. It is deep, as in deeper and more spiritual than physical. That is why I'm not surprised anymore when a marriage crashes within 24hrs because it never had a solid spiritual foundation. It was built on the usual peripherals of "I love you" you're fine you're hot and sexy" basis. So nothing to hold it when the nitigrity, storms and challenges that comes with it begins to hit and toss it to and fro.

Nuf said.

No. My 2nd and longest gf.

We had to break up after a moral change.

Godoverevery:
is she the only you ever dated

Equity means everyone contributes according to their pocket. He should be spending at least half of that salary on the family and looking at how to build.

At 20, my gf bought me an expensive watch. I was shocked.

We went for dinner at one of the best restaurants in the city and I paid but it was not even up to half of what she spent on the watch.

Another day, my gf and I were window shopping. I rarely buy anything, she just wanted to look at stuff. I saw a shoe I liked, picked it up and kept it back. She begged me to just try it. I tried it and kept it back. She went 'to the toilet', bought the shoe and gave me it. I didn't like the shoe all that much but I still have it because she bought it.

This is a Nigerian girl o. She was not richer than me at that time at all.

Our women are amazing when you meet them. Women, not pikins.

Godoverevery:
Am in my early 30's and this has only happened once.....I have actually done this for almost every lady I have dated but only one person have reciprocate that gesture the rest I hardly even got a gift from them.

I can't say they didn't love me but I just think our ladies think taking a guy out is a Taboo..the reverse must always be the case.

please share if a lady have done that to you.

How do you think some wines in Italy and Europe are made?

GreatResearcher1:
A friend of mine sent me this. Damn!

Equity does not mean a woman will follow a man.

HARRISON040:
are ur fingers equal.there will always be a leader and a follower.man and woman can't be equal,what u should say is,let there be equity.

Play sports with him. He will be too tired.

Peace081:
It has been sex through out every night, am tire already

One of my brothers refused to allow a maid to bath him after she did it for the first time.

My parents didn't force him to change his mind but looking back, we should have tried to find out if the reason was molestation specifically.

If you're wise, you'll read this. Somebody said if you want to hide something from black people, out it in a book (obviously rubbish).

Everyone, male and female should practice equality.

You think women don't have sex too?

internationalman:
How is it risky for women.

Many girls don't want this sef. They don't want to marry someone with whom they have no sexual chemistry.

Love, money and sex are necessary for a good marriage.

You probably need to learn how to have better sex

Your gf must enjoy the sex too.

Sometimes condoms affect hard-ons, but remember that only drops can get someone pregnant.

Spman:
After some years of being single i finally got new bae last year.
So if u notice my previous thread u will notice that i do complain about not having strong erection with my present babe.

The reason is that my first girl love kissing and romance then that when she just kissed me like this I do have hard on and strong erection.
But now this my present babe her sex game is boring.
She doesn't like kissing nor romance sometimes i forced myself to be in mood and she doesn't like stroking my dick too.
Sometimes i just rub my dick on her ass so that i can get it up though she gat no big ass sha.

So right now i think she is d caused bcus i am okay, i quit masturbation last year , i do exercise a lot, i eat fruits and bitter kola too and I don't take sugar.
But sometimes i do find it hard to sustain erection when with her and i do get anxious too which is not like this before....

Though i also think it due to her ex maybe they don't involve in pre-intimacy then before sex and me i love pre-intimacy bcus she will just assume i put myself on mood..

And on 3 occasions which i manage to get erection i can go on for 20 minutes without ejaculation, the other time he begged me that she is tired so i persuade her before she could use her hand to jerk me off though also wack though.
So right now i do think is it that she is not sexually attractive to me or what?..
Or is it bcus of her poor bed skills, no kissing, romance, she can't even ride me i always do d job.


In fact am confused and she is not willing to learn.
She doesn't have listening ears whenever i air out my mind

I support the girlfriend.

We men are weak.

If you spend 2 weeks fully engaged with her, distanced and in person, you are likely to start loving her.

FreeMejoor1:
Well i just met this girl who truly loves me but i dont love her cause we have never met but it all feels like shit each time i try to force myself into loving her..it a long distance relationship..should i hold unto her or leave her..

End the relationship yesterday

Personally, I try not to expect family to pay me back.

You could send him less than what he asks for? You could get him the foodstuffs he asks for (or when you go shopping, just buy 3 or 4 foodstuffs he likes and say you were thinking of him. You could even buy some foodstuffs and bring to him to cook saying you wanted to cook for your boo (codedly avoiding giving him cash), etc.

Trust is important in a relationship, if you don't trust him (him o not guys), this is an opportunity to learn more

RAPE

Nat404:
This is really funny but I need to know why.

Obviously fake

You seem to be realising that faith is not necessary.

If you want to get your faith back, you need to join a Bible study group. It doesn't have to be from your church, just a serious non church study group that meets periodically.

If you want to discover more about the non Christian way, watch The Atheist Experience on YouTube.

It can happen but it's very controlled.

easyconnect:
Wao. Till date? That's what I'm afriad of.

Your cousin and friends will not be married to her, you will.

Let them tell you the problems they associate with her tribe. You go through those issues and decide if:
- those are issues to you too
- your woman exhibits same

Discuss with your woman too. Tell her this is what some peeps are saying and whether or not you agree with them.

dslim:
NL I love her but can not think of marriage because of her tribe.she is from Akwa ibom my freinds said i should not even my cousin that has not seen her. She is too lovable and nice. Advice pls

I grew up with my mouth always open. It still happens till date but I had to consciously make the effort to close the mouth in secondary school.

I hear that in some cases, the child is breathing through the mouth as there is some blockage or irritation in the nose.

easyconnect:
She's 6years old.
We often shout at her before she can suddenly close her mouth during the day, but at night, she sleeps with her mouth opened.
Have you encountered this with your children?
What did you do to correct that.
I fear she might keep opening her mouth even in adulthood.

Suggestions, recommendations are all welcome please.

Because they have disposable income.

Someone can comfortably go to Thailand & co on 2 weeks salary.

Ilamina:
Whenever you check their Instagram profiles

They always visiting Thailand, Bahamas during the summer

Aren't you an adult?

Jamariwolff:
Yesterday was my birthday and i went To buy alcohol to celebrate and there was a woman from my church that saw me there. I came home and I was told that someone called them to tell them and even if they claim an anonymous person i know it was that woman from my church.

She had seen me there twice different days, so she called the 2nd time.
Smh lousy bitch.

'submissiveness' should be banned from our dating vocabulary.

If a guy says this, all girls should run and if a girl indicates this, guys should run (because she likely expects you to be the sole provider).

NockMedia:
So what is your point, sir?
The OP is focused on submissiveness

I said even if the marriage starts with the man as the breadwinner, many families eventually get to the dynamic where the woman is earning as much or more.

I think it's not a majority of families but it's not a distant minority. Probably between 30 - 60%

Lostz:
so you are now saying that women are doing better financially in Nigeria?


almost every house in Nigeria, the man is the breadwinner. he pay the bills and the wife support

Many employed women also subscribe to the "what is yours is ours and what is mine is mine" mentality but I doubt that saying will last for long. I think it has lasted smiling because many men use this saying as a source of their unbridled pride

Samakus:
Well, I have nothing to proof. Believe what you want!

I spend on my family and occasionally send my woman something because she doesn't depend on me for her sustenance. She works and makes her own money, which actually makes me respect her the more

From experience, most girls that think of having a man as their meal ticket are unemployed and have nothing to offer. Sex is the cheapest thing to get these days. Maybe because I'm in a student environment anyways

People keep saying this but it has almost never been the case at all times

I have looked at my parents generation and in virtually all cases, the men were established before the women and helped their wives get jobs or enroll in a program. However, in most cases, the wives quickly caught up or surpassed their husbands.

Why do people keep promulgating this falsehood?

NockMedia:
You have a point, my friend. But you see, in a society like ours, the men are the chief breadwinners...so you can't fault the opposite sex

I don't believe your brags.

Furthermore, runs is still a major thing in our country.

She's very right.

Samakus:
Keep talking! . Relationships are not poverty alleviation programme my dear! As a girl, you will do yourself a world of good getting something doing and having money to pay your bills at least until you marry. A single girl, depending on men for her sustenance is not fashionable anymore. It doesn't pay them anymore sef. Go to RantHQ and other online platforms and see how ladies are complaining of stingy single guys. NNE, Boys don dey wise up

I will only have my wife and family to fend and provide for. Until you become one, don't expect much from me.

Newsflash! Even without 'spending hell' for them, they still flock around me. . We now know the secret

OK bye

It's rubbish like this that leads some women to equate expense with love.

Some girls think marriage should be 50-50 but when they hear men and women saying your man must spend to show her lives you, they have to adapt to our sick society.

NockMedia:
Being submissive is relative, I believe.
First off, if I love my wife with my heart, I wouldn't need her financial contributions, unless she does, willingly. But if I married her with my head (logical reasoning), she must be ready to go Dutch.
My wife being submissive doesn't mean I won't do house chores or run errands for her.
It won't mean her opinion won't count during discussions.
Being submissive can be said to mean RESPECTFUL.
As a lady, you can still be submissive and contribute to the family.
Being Submissive is not the same as being oppressed

They're are plenty Nigerian men who think this way. We full ground.

Liliantalks:
then I respect u greatly