₦airaland Forum

lavylilly:
Greetings to you all.

I have a disturbing thought I'd like to share. Recently, i stumbled on a video which had a caption "Apart from sex, women have nothing to offer in a relationship."

I totally disagree with this.

I am not disagreeing as a feminist. I am disagreeing as a sane woman.

In as much as a lot of women folks are guilty of the caption charged against them, i think the male folks should also be blamed as an encouraging factor to this.

Gentleman, apart from calling her to come over to your place for the weekend, have her wash your clothes, keep your house clean and have massive sex. Have you tried to engage her in an intellectual/an intelligent discourse?

Apart from drilling that hole, have you tried to drill and extract her God given potentials from her?

Have you tried to discuss your dreams and aspirations with her and see how she fits in by suggesting ideas that would contribute positively to your dreams?

Apart from taking her to the club and have countless sit outs, have you ever taken her for seminars and workshops?

These are questions a lot of male folks are guilty of.

It takes two to tangle. Until you give her room to show you her potentials, you will never see her showcasing it.

The reason why she gives you just sex is because that is the only thing you require all the time from her ever since you both met.

Require more than sex, and then you will see her come out in her fullness.

(c) Precious Pearls

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

MedicH:
Tell me why it's not better to marry a virgin. Just imagine. 8k only 8k.

phyya:
So you can't give head to someone who has given birth? What about your wife when you eventually marry?

kestolove95:
Who will give me head? I want to know how it feels

midnighter:
As we're talking about it I can vividly recall the smell. When she mentioned it at the gym I knew what she was talking about

It's just the truth though not all of them smell like that

khia:
Are Nigerian men being racist when they say Nigerian girls stink? The U.S. is a huge country with the majority of the people being white, if you are so naive to think there aren't any funky whites then you are living with your head in the sand.

khia:
It's their hair when they don't wash it or when they sweat.
Horrible!!

midnighter:
Some of them have a "wet dog" smell that is well documented

If it's cultural thing that means they don't bathe every day then how can it be racist

khia:
Telling the truth is not being racist, some white girls are smelly, just take a trip to the gym. Is it being racist when the guys on this forum talk about the bad smell of Nigerian girls? Did you speak against them, did you call them racist, did you stand up for their honor like you are doing here if not, sit down and stop being a hypocrite?

Ilamina:

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

fykes:
All d comments before mine have one thing in common with me...
Experience!

I have never seen one such union end well and truly happy.
Not one. All d guy gets is sex at a whim while he lives with the devil.

Breaststroke:
Interesting topic Coooks.

A friend of mine is an atheist. He was married for 14 years but is now divorced. Wifey initiated the divorce on the basis that his atheism was an issue for her.

She met him as an atheist and they have 2 kids. I suspect she wanted out for other reasons (I don't know that for certain, I'm only speculating) It's also possible the atheism, got too much for her to handle down the line, like she said.

Whatever the real issues were, there's no judgment from me. I like my friend though for his candid persona, he values honesty in relationships and I admire that.



This cracked me up so good, I am still smiling as I type. Had a somewhat similar experience, my date was catholic and while I identify with Christ as a Christian, I am not religious in the way of carrying church on my head, being at every church service, attending every church programme known to mankind, fasting and praying ceaselessly.

My date couldn't wrap his head around the fact that, when he often asked did you go to church today my answer would be no. He attempted something (I don't understand) with another chic who (unlike me) was very churchy and full of it.

By the time I heard what happened between them from my date's own mouth, laff wan kill me. The chic traced his friends & family on Facebook, started contacting them to make wild accusations of being misused and dumped, even went as far as involving the police on allegations of sexual assault.

This guy said getting involved with that chic was a crazy and nightmarish experience, did I mention they first had a landlord & tenant relationship before a romantic one? Getting her to move out after her rent expired, was another matter entirely. My date admitted to being fooled by her religiosity, while thinking I wasn't spiritual enough.

I laughed and said guy, there's a big difference between religion and spirituality. One is a lot of activity with no real substance, while the other is, being influenced by God's spirit and allowing Him produce the good fruits of kindness, genuine care for others and more in your life.

eazzzy1:
Well then we have more Misotheist in Nigeria than we have Atheist. I live in a country where more than half the population do not believe in the existence of a God or god, but they never[b] go around insulting those who believe[/b] in a "sky daddy". If you believe there isn't a God, what a theist chooses to believe shouldn't be of any concern to you. These category of atheist major problem is the christian God, like i said most of them are disgruntled church goers. I have never met an atheist who formerly believed in Vishnu, maybe when i do i would be able to answer if they started eating beef after they became unbelievers.

MrDraey:
Good morning people,
Please I am on a verge of going into this business here in Abuja.

However, I am new in town. From enquiry and all I have read here, with the business being saturated, I really need you guys' advise.

Tired of my 9-5job (pays less than 80k) which I want to quit and I have a Honda civic 2010 model at my disposal for HP.

Please guys, I urgently need your raw advise

ajoks533:
I no believe this story cos you never finish am... So wetin you wan talk be say las las you come leave the N200 for her. As per wetin na? You never talk werin transpired between una 2. You are a suspect lol

Npala:
It's really surprising to me how we compare Corolla to Civic for ehailing. I am not a mechanic and I know just basic things about cars but based on user experience, Corolla 2005 cannot be compared to Civic 2005 for uber and bolt business.

I bought a tokunbo 2005 honda civic and did the initial servicing with the recommended engine oil and ATF and set to the business with it. After like a month and half, the car starts having all sorts of issues and I eventually had to change the transmission and still battling with the car being too low to the ground and leg issues.

A month later, I sold the car for 40% off my purchase amount.

I bought Tokunbo Toyota Corolla 2005, used recommended oil and stuffs and set to work with it. November 2019 will be the 10th month i started with the Corolla and all I have done is just basic servicing and nothing more and I drive at least 4 days in a week.

If you are using Civic for personal use, I am very sure it is a very strong and good car, but drive it from morning to night, 5 times or more a week, for 3 months. It's not good enough.

I am not trying to shade dru23 but this is my experience driving both cars. 100% user experience.

sassysure:
Failed parents. He is 17 and still a minor so u as a parent have the right to shut down his computer and trll him to go to bed.
U enabled him.

fulaniHERDSman:
Very rude from a woman ... and U senselessly re-echoed my last line.
Now I see why some foolish women go through domestic violence. Online world Shaa.

gbingafa:
Hi all,

I need some serious advice here please.
I'm a 40 yo single mum to a 4 year old.
I've known this guy since high school. He asked me out back then but at the time, "dating" was not even an option (education, religion, ambition made it impossible).

Life happened and I now live in the UK. He still lives back home, has two boys and a job as an IT engineer.
We reconnected via Facebook, met when I went for a short visit to my family.
He tells me that he still wants a relationship with me. I was attracted to him back then, I still am. The guy I knew then was a nice guy, god fearing, caring, funny. He's now 42 and I don't know much about the man he turned out to be.

But my main concern is I don't know if he really wants to be with me or if he wants the opportunity to give his sons a British passport.

Part of me still wants to give it a try because I'm a 40 yo single mother and suitors are scarce, serious ones nonexistent. My child definitely needs a father in the house. Also, the petty woman in me wants/needs to show my ex that I'm still good enough for someone else. At the same time I can't afford another failure in that area. I can't risk my child's wellbeing if things don't work out. I won’t survive another public humiliation.

I'm scared and I don't know what to do. Any thoughts?

Instinged:
Here is my monthly expenditure every month for every year.
I hardly meet up so i end up taking loans, so i want to know if am
the one over spending or how..
I seems not to understand myself, salary will be paid in few days
and i cant even meet up with some of these expenses.
I have FIVE(5) major places my money goes to
1. FOOD 2. TRANSPORTATION 3. CHURCH 4. SCHOOL 5. HOUSE

SALARY/INCOME PER MONTH
100,000
EXPENDITURE BY DEFAULT
120,000

EXPENDITURE PER MONTH

1. FOOD;
No swallow??
RICE 8000 reduce your rice intake. Eat other grains.
BEANS 3000
SPAG 1000
SEMO 1500
YAM 3000
P. WATER 2000
SOUP 12OOO
BREAD 2000
TOOTHPASTE 350
WSHING SOAP/OMO 1500
BATHING SOAP 2000

2. TRANSPORTATION
OWORO SHOKI TO VI (MON-FRI) 8000
CHURCH 1000
OTHERS(VISITATION) 2000

3. CHURCH
[TITHE 10,000
OFFERING 2500
OTHERS( CHURCH DEV) 3000

4. SCHOOL
FEES FOR 3KIDS 22500 PER MONTH
BISCUIT 2000 CARTON
MILK/MILO 4000
INDOMIE 3000
JUICE 2000

5. HOUSE
RENT 21000 PER MONTH
NEPA 3000
GoTv 2000



Thank You

LilMissFavvy:
If men and women had same physical strength, most marriages would have been a battle field. The reason some women tolerate shiitt from men is the difference in physical strength.

sisisioge:
You didn't quite read my submission. Indeed, there are good and bad people on both divide, hence silly to take on the challenge. However, its a lot easier to deal with the bad on both divide if we all have a common guiding principles... Fairness to all, love your neighbor as thy self, loving them is loving God.

By the way, I have dated an atheist before...he was actually a good guy, he treated all and sundry fairly and did not undermine my reverence of God.

crackhaus:
You are surprised she went back?

What did you think was going to happen especially with this particular story? I mean really.
I read all the comments on that thread all talking about police this, police that, some even talking about how boys should be arranged to go and deal with the man.
That's exactly what the internet does to people - they create another version of the world they live in and pretend that's how it is for real.

My comment to you then was simple - take your child out of the situation, call her friend who she asked for to come to the hospital, and then move on because you had done all you could do.

Meanwhile, you still don't know the full story like I noted on the other thread.
Now the woman is even trying to avoid you, lol. Classic.

Anyway, you try.