₦airaland Forum

That is a serious and crazy double standard.

In my current predicament, the lady suspects that I'm not religious but still loves me. We will have to talk about this when we move to the next stage.

elektra:
I identify more as agnostic than Christian. I go to church once in a while to mingle and make friends.

I have dated a Nigerian guy that knew that I was not much of a churchgoer. After a while, he started questioning why I don't go to church.
Every Sunday, after I tell him I did not go to church, he will remind me that he wants his wife to be a prayer warrior.
But this person NEVER WENT TO CHURCH EITHER.
I have not even finished praying for myself. I wish him good luck wherever he is.
This particular Nigerian had no interest in going to church, yet he expected the complete opposite from his spouse.

Meet women who are like-minded and of a close, similar or higher economic standing.

You guys will likely not live together until marriage but the companionship issue will be solved.

Are any free thinkers, agnostics, atheists, etc here dating/married in Nigeria or dating/married to Nigerians?

How was the journey and what advice do you have?

Serious thread.

Are any free thinkers, agnostics, atheists, etc here dating/married in Nigeria or dating/married to Nigerians?

How was the journey and what advice do you have?

Serious thread.

I'm in the same boat, my brother. The person I am currently talking with suspects that I am not Christian but I have neither denied nor confirmed. I am waiting until we are ready to take the next serious step before laying it all out.

Curtisaxel7:
The truth is, we are very few here in this part of the world. Finding an atheist partner who meets all your requirements go hard oh. I can't even remember the last time I met a female atheist in real life, talk more of dating one.....

Hmm. I may end up marrying a Christian sister oh, make we dey manage am laidat

There's no inherent problem.

Sex could even help with menstrual cramps.

Sankabson:
Does it makes sense making love with/to a lady while she’s on her monthly period?.

What are the side effect to both gender ?

Can she get pregnant in the course of that ?

Is normal and danger free ?

What are the religion view on this too ?

Are any free thinkers, agnostics, atheists, etc here dating in Nigeria or dating Nigerians?

How was the journey and what advice do you have?

I'm talking about serious dating, with the possibility of marriage.

Personally, virginity is inconsequential. What is most important is mutual attraction, respect and sexuality.

We both need to be on similar wavelengths on whether we like sex or not, whether we find each other sexually appealing or not.

You did not save money. You did not try a small business. You gave it to a girl who isn't thinking strategically.

You need serious help bro.

When I broke up with my gf of 4 years, I honestly thought I would not find someone with whom I would share a love so pure for many many years.

2 years later and I think I've found someone.

Don't worry. Pick up, make sure you learned from this relationship and be open to the future.

LolaO:
My relationship of 5 years ended in the most heartbreaking way.

He got transferred to Asaba from Lagos and months later just stopped talking to me, no communication, no closure, nothing, just like that.
It’s been 5 months now.

This is someone I had planned my whole life around.

Distance does not make the heart go fonder.

I am so hurt, it hurts.

How can you woo, WOO o not date, someone for 4 years??

This was in Ghana.

makewetalk2:
before things like this na shamfeul thing oh. men no day won make people no say dem day fvck prostitute. na bad name. today people celebrate these things. imagine.
this world don finish oh
the sad thing is that some sanctimonious swine will go about talking dirty how morally corrupt the western countries are. a neigbour of mine got a sapele girl pregant but his mother refused that he married the girl. because she is from sapele. they call them ndi mba mmiri in igbo. nigerians are racist sects of people.

in the same nigeria igbo men look down on south-southerners. they feel that they are morally decrepit.
and they teach the new generations this madcow disease culture. young nigerians are inflated with negative ideas. a very bad coutry. the people are misled by their cultures.

the best thing for nigeria is to destroy culture. it doesnt work. a culture that allows an elder to misbehave and he cannot be called to order. if you talk they will say na elderman. na daddy.

pastors day fvck people pikin ol. iman dem too day too same. no ever trust your pikin with any of those people oh. they have blood in their veins and evil in their hearts

This idea that e don be if somebody leaves you needs to be shut down for good.

Frankly, it's good that you stuck to what you thought was right.

It is also good for the guy do do what he thought was right.

You guys were incompatible in a pretty significant aspect of relationships.

Move on. Also, if his relationship with your siblings is ONLY based on you, he may stop financing their education.

*His

Ilamina:
How did the girls brother feel

He's close friend slept with his sister
And everyone knows

Who will marry that kind of girl

Thebwoy:
Is Jaden the male or female Smith?

Male but he's pretty androgynous.

Deaf does not always mean they hear NOTHING at all.

They could be hearing the rhythm but the sound is not as clear as a non deaf person would hear.

Also, many deaf people just need hearing aids or light surgery to hear relatively well.

Heartbender:
If they're deaf and dancing? What are they dancing to? The sound of their thoughts?

BoYs AND girls are involved. Y'all should realise that women and girls are human beings and sexual as well

scaramucci:
What has HIV got to do with young boys pressing some breast after a hectic day in school?

When I was much younger, one of my aunties from abroad gave me a BEAUTIFUL Camouflage jacket.

It was expensive too.

I've NEVER worn it.

I don't want to die. You can disappear and NOBODY will know.

One of my friends (our pastor's son) was arrested by soldiers one sunday. He and some female choristers were withdrawing money from an ATM beside Bori Camp when the officer in charge accused them of prostitution and arrested them. The officer forgot about them for more than a week. The other soldiers finally pitied him and charged his phone. If not, my guy could have stayed there for months for NO REASON.

Finally. Sense.

Mrcashman87:
I have texted twice to say we need to talk for her to ignore the text. I am feeling really down dont know what I have done to her to deserve this treatment. I'm going to try talking to her one last time I think and if I dont get any form of positive response then i will call for family meetings and I will have to end marriage.

OP, Does your wife beat your kids?

Your wife can kill you.

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

Divorce.

The children will be better served to see at least one parent happy than the constant fights.

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

They left the man and are focusing on the girl

smh.

It's not a bad habit. It is actually super clean.

KingAzubuike:
Why is this bad habit common among Nigerian ladies?

It sounds like your bf is not used to living with someone else.

Tell him that you guys can have arguments without him saying he will slap you. VERY IMPORTANT.

I think you should get a job as well to reduce your boredom and to make him feel like you are hardworking and not lazy.

SO: Significant Other

Hamachi:
What's SO?

1. Timbye Jonah

2. Blessing Nnebulu

3. Pearl Akuma

4. Miracle Nuhu

Yes. Many parents prefer that you visit each other in the house than to go somewhere far out of their reach.

To not take up the sole responsibility of my SO's happiness.

SOOOOO true.

amiibaby:
To love myself first