₦airaland Forum

This is funny...

Kobojunkie:
I just included that to share that scares and such don't phase me at all.

If you read that lady's story there, it is very similar to mine.

Are you a neuroscientist?

Kobojunkie:
It's no secret!

"Your mind go dey" is just a slang.

It has nothing to do with mental illness or you losing your mind in the past, and I honestly wouldn't want it to happen a third time.

But please don't let me stop you from talking about what you went through.

Kobojunkie:
I already lost my mind once in 2012 and then again in 2016... you think the third time will be the charm?

ROFLMAO


Such things don't scare me.

True confessions.

larryjonze:
Nairaland is fast becoming a fantasy land for these gurlz i like that " lets all just pretend" las las dem go log out

Yes oo...

Kobojunkie:
This one!

No sand in my eye still? Why?

Sleep and wake up first, your mind go dey...

hahn:
Bro, they were everywhere then. They basically ruled the joint.

There was much more fear for soldiers then than now.

Overall Nigeria is stuck in time.

Same leaders, same problems.

That Nigeria is stuck in time is an oversimplification.

I believe we are in regression sef.

That there is now access to mobile phones and the internet is not enough metric for measuring economic advancement.

Kobojunkie:
This one is desperately trying to rewrite history here..

Throw Andrew, MAMSA, SAP....etc out the window too.

The next time you refer to me as "this one", I will pour sand inside your eye.

hahn:
Keyword: Contentment

Unfortunately that is something many Nigerians might never experience in today's Nigeria

Lol, I'm telling you.

Fast life, and everyone trying to outdo the next person.

hahn:
The military regime was crazy.

I remember as a kid we were on our way to Sheraton hotel and we didn't know that IBB had annulled the June 12 elections. Omo come see soldiers everywhere. See fear for old boy face

In those days soldiers could fvck you up overnight and no one would be able to save you.

If anything this generation has it the best but the problem is the idiots who messed up the country then are still circulating themselves in power.

Until the youths can find a way to kill them all off nothing will move forward.

The older generation can't help because they have already accepted their fate.

Lmao... And soldiers can't do that today?

tensazangetsu20:
I agree the pace was slow but people were still very poor there were no jobs and there were like really few opportunities to earn a living. It must have been so depressing.

No matter how you look at it, they had it so much better... Waayyy better.
Nothing depressing about it.

Yes they lived through the military era and saw firsthand what that was like, but it was still a better deal than what we have now.

Nigeria/Nigerians didn't have such a bad rep in the eyes of the world back then.

And who told you there were no jobs?

Just having a university degree guaranteed you a job without the need for man-know-man or bribing your way into federal agencies.
My dad with his University of Ibadan 2'2 degree didn't stay without work for up to 3 months after serving – got a really good job for that matter.

Nigerians could travel easier back then and even though the standard of living wasn't all that high, things were affordable in comparison.
Today, the standard of living is low (even lower if we're being honest), yet commodities aren't that affordable.

The internet age, satellite TV, and advent of mobile devices which ushered in the era of remote jobs and internet-based sources of income, also came with the introduction of make-believe lifestyles from watching reality shows like MTV cribs, KUWTK, etc...
Young Nigerians became obsessed with living wealthy lifestyles and acquiring expensive things (even when unnecessary).

Please there's no comparison to be made...

Older Nigerians definitely had a much better Nigeria than we do now. It wasn't heaven then, but it still wasn't as hellish as it is now.
People actually lived in Nigeria back then, but what people are doing now is surviving – there's a big difference.

I can't even take my car to a random mechanic to fix for me because they will bill me like a yahoo boy.
Internet fraudsters who don't mind paying whatever price they're told to pay for anything, have succeeded in contributing to inflation.

All those overpriced estates in places like Lekki built on top of reclaimed land that is just hoping/praying the sea doesn't develop mood swing, do you think if they were not seeing people to buy them, they won't drop the prices?

My brother, the overall mentality of Nigerians is very different now from what it was then.

Although it's not that the country was European-standard for older Nigerians back in the day, but contentment seemed to be more prevalent as people were okay with just having the basics/having just what was necessary.

I have a lot more I could type on this topic, but I've exceeded my social media allocated time for today.

twhy111:
I think women are emotionally wired that once they're really in love, they can't keep those past to themselves. They see it as being unfair or more like a burden to want to keep off their chest.

But it depends on what past we're talking about.
I doubt it that if a woman has killed before she'd open her mouth to tell a man.

Bruh even those details which they disclose about their past when they're in love, it's still NOT the full story...

NL has made a lot of these snowflakes conjure up their own fantasies to the extent they now believe it to be reality.

In what world do women care about men's sexual history?

Even the ones who got married to men twice their age after he had been round the block with all things in mini-skirt, follow sef dey claim that they care about a man's sexual past.

The joke writes itself...


Men and women will/can NEVER be adjudged the same way for the same things, and no amount of feminist posturing will/can change it. The standards are simply NOT the same for the sexes.
The earlier you ice-queens make peace with this fact, the better for your sanity.

As for the OP, you made a very good point – admonish your sisters to be liars and half-truth tellers, it's for their own good.

However, it's not as if y'all are 100% transparent about your past in the first place... but for the sake of this thread, let's all just pretend that women ALWAYS reveal EVERYTHING about their pasts to their partners.

Since you say you're a pastor, my usual kind of professional advice in a situation like this cannot apply to you.

However, let me burst your brain small...

You see this problem you say you have? It's not a big problem at all.

As long as she's still opening her legs for you and she does not deny you sex anytime you need it, then you can survive.
Forget about whether she's enjoying it, or if she's enthusiastic about it. Just do what you went there to do, cúm your cúm and sleep afterwards.

Maybe she didn't expect that a pastor sef will have so many kinks about love-making.

That's the job of government, not churches.

DNA tests before registering births.

idahme:
Don't expect them to say that, you might wait for years for that to happen.

I wasn't holding my breath...

Hmmmm... Hard to say what I'd do because unless I am blind, it will be very unusual of me not to have noticed anything between her and my best friend before getting married to her.

That said, I have a friend who got married to a female mutual friend of ours even after knowing that she and I were intimate as little as 2months before he proposed to her.

All I could say then was, dude is a much better man than I am.
Lord knows I can't do such.

VTJN:
The family she had before she met you? The family who made her what she was? You rather prefer a woman who'd keep her family at arms length because she wants to marry?

A family she's related to by blood and not marriage o ;

Why do men prefer a woman whose family ain't in close contact with her? They are very much active in contact with their own family o, but want a woman to partially discard her own family

Are such men directly/indirectly running away from their responsibility or what?

Or they just want a woman they can easily manipulate or something

No family should be far from their daughters. I repeat no family poor or rich should be far from their daughters

Especially this our naija wey some men dey treat their wife like a piece of shit

Provided she's not cheating on you. She's not abusive verbally and otherwise

She's most likely to reduce her act of benevolence to her family when kids comes in. That doesn't mean she will cut off with them

It's her family by blood. You are her family by marriage

I'm starting to think you're deliberately employing reverse psychology with your comments...

Imagine you saying the bold text when it's the husband involved... Those same chics hailing you here will come for your head.

I find it funny though that no chic here has talked about how the wife ought to discuss with her husband before rendering financial help...

Let's not pretend that we don't all know how women love having "a discussion" before their husbands can send money to his relatives.

bukatyne:
This popular narrative is odd to me.

Of what use is a husband/wife who can't make their spouse happy?

Yes, a person would have other source of 'happiness' but a spouse supplies the bulk of it.

Your job is on point, your kids are all stars, your friends are ride or die and your husband/wife is very useless and you think you would be 'happy'? Especially when you are not planning to leave them?

I don't think you understood the guy's comment.

This kind of dependency you're advocating is NOT healthy.
It means your happiness will depend solely on the continued/uninterrupted generosity of your spouse to keep supplying it.

donbachi:
I sorry for those,whose first reason for marriage.is looking for happiness or a man/woman that make them happy.nobody owe you that.

Happpiness is produced by self, then you look for someone that will add to it and you share in each others happiness.

This is the healthy alternative.

register505:
You're missing it.. There's no place in my writeup that I want her to give her money to me

I'm chanelling all my resources to make sure we live comfortably and I don't have any problem with that. It's my duty as a man to take care of her and make us live fine

She on the other hand is extending her benevolence to her family and not us

Isn't that something to be concerned about considering the fact that they aren't even giving her breathing space with calls and attention

She will get tired somewhere down the line, unless she has an endless supply of funds that never run dry...

dogmax:
Is it possible for a girl to cheat with her ex few days fee days to her wedding. I still find it difficult in believing it but people keep narrating how they made love to a girl few days to wedding and even a day to wedding night. I know is common in many men but in women I doubt it happens. I need to know is possible

Women love guys like this... it would be so easy for them to run circles around you.

If dem just leave you now, you fit go use your manhood swear say your girlfriend will NEVER cheat on you.

I pray you wake up before it's too late.

The definition of "wealthy" with reference to this topic, needs to be explained.

If what you mean is a situation where the woman earns a higher monthly income/salary than her husband-to-be, then I don't believe there's any real struggle to be had.
Both are still within the same social class but simply have disparities in earning power.

However, if what you mean is a situation where the woman is wealthy (as in millions/billions wealth), then forget it... It's ONLY in Nollywood that such a woman could marry a man beneath her social class.

In the real world, there aren't that many young "wealthy" (in millions/billions) women to start with... and even where there are, they'd rather marry a man who is equal to them in wealth or slightly higher.

jieta:
Will the world end if i flush the placenta in the toilet?

Very simplified solution...

Lmao...

She never experrerit.

I'm sure she thought that her light-skin and pretty face could make up for her irritating attitude.

No. I never had children. I also never got married. Initially, I did want to get married but the men were never faithful to me. They were disappointments and I just decided not to get involved with them anymore. I am very happy with my decision. I have my family around me and they take care of me. They always make me feel welcome. Marriage and children are not tickets to heaven, so they aren’t necessary.

She gets an 'A' for honesty.

There's always a story/experience behind such decisions.

descarado:
E pass professional massage o

Does it require surgery?

descarado:
Training my dear, from the day they are born, train them. Kids will adjust to timetables you set up for them and use it religiously. They will sleep when you want them to sleep.
Also, if your husband don't help, get him to help out. Cos if you don't, you are promoting the same thing you are against.
We ladies will continue to give excuse forgeting that we are the ones who mould these guys the way they are. We are the number one enabler to having bad fathers and husbands.
We can broaden this if any one is interested cos it time we call a spade a spade.


The Western women fought hard to be where they are today
We want what they fought for without fighting for ours
I laugh in swahili

How come I missed this one yesterday...

Your sisters (so-called Nigerian feminists) are not ready for any fight/struggle that will spoil their wig & make-up. They'd rather stay busy on the internet forming savage, displaying faux intellectualism, and hailing each others' comments.
Meanwhile, the lawmakers are in Abuja.

I even doubt if most Nigerian feminists/women's rights advocates know the names of the senators/reps from their local government.
Dem even get voter's card?

Enter street and fight this women's rights battle, but they're too "baby girl" for all that stress.
Or maybe they're just waiting for men to help them out, as usual with almost everything else in their lives.

Snowflakes...

descarado:
Leave me alone

I'm really stressed out these days.
It is well.

This place helps me reduce stress level and forget about loads of shit.

I offer professional massages.

For you, I'll have it done FOC...

Angeldemon:
She then angrily walked out on him and as she was walking out she said "if she was responsible she would have raised responsible men"
My friends elder brother landed her a heavy slap from behind and she fell. My friend and I rushed at him and held him because he wanted to follow upwith more slap or whatever.

The thing now is my friend told his brother to get out of his house for slapping his fiancee.
Do you think he was right to slap her?

I see a lot of myself in your friend's elder brother... A clearing & forwarding agent.

Of course, he was right to slap her.
Why would you even ask that?

What you should be asking is if your friend was right to send his brother out of the house.

descarado:
Has it paid off well on the long run?

Personally, I think the need to control wih emanated from inferiority complex gave birth to patriarchy.
We have a general problem in this country that we are not aware of and its inferiority complex.
It breeds low self esteem which majority of us have. Nobody, not even the medical profession in this country has ever come out to address this giant.

Be around a man with no self esteem issue or woman and will enjoy them.

During the olden days, I can understand why we have patriarchy. It was worst in the western countries. Read history but people have moved on.
I can also understand that hormone makes a man behave dominantly but in matters he should act otherwise. Hormones also made women to be submissive but in areas she can be. Submissiveness isn't slavery. It's just act of respect. That's my point of view anyway.
I have also seen men who love dominant women. They willingly let the women steer the ship cos they are not modelled to stir it by nature.
Crackhaus, leave me alone.
Wetin we do you?
Haaaa!

I sha just helped answer your question, only to be bamboozled with this lecture...

Ishilove:
You speak the truth, unfortunate as it is. The sheer unfairness of it all is part of why this new generation of feminists are so toxic and bitter.

Glad you saw my comments on the topic for what they were and nothing more...