₦airaland Forum

descarado:
No joy like being your own madam. Making your own money no matter how small.
But due to the rubbish we do and call it dating, we all believe its the man's job to take care of the woman. Who told you that?
Go out there and make your money and quit relying on any man. Lazy lots with the excuse of full time housewives.

PATRIARCHY... The same one you all hate!

Powerfly:
You don't know the shit happening in this country bro! Never say anything is impossible...

I hear.

Afterall, what Nigerian women cannot do does not exist.

All these scare tactics are juvenile...

A man should bond with his children ONLY because it is the right thing to do, NOT because he wants to impress his wife or needs them to take care of him in old age.

You women know nothing else than using emotional blackmail to get what you want.

And BTW, a lot of men are really great fathers... doing what they must, and doing what they can.
It's only natural that children will still have a special bias for the wellbeing of their mothers... It doesn't mean the man did anything wrong raising them.

When NL chics talk about their fathers who refused to bond with them and make it seem like this is the normal way every other family operates, it makes me laugh.

Powerfly:
If I ever find myself married to a Nigerian man, I'll be sure to keep things in place, then I'll shock him with a reality of that fantasy.

Except you want to resort to spiritual control na.

And even with these charms, I believe you can only use them to eat your husband's money or cause him to hate his mother and siblings.

The day you cheat on him, get pregnant for your side-bobo and then tell him you want to bring the child into the marriage for him to raise (even if it's only for infancy), that charm will clear from his eyes sharply.

Powerfly:
By 'her' I mean the other lady you were asking.
And yes! It is totally possible... Maybe in India and my beloved country Nigeria.
After all it is said.. " Nothing is impossible only if you Believe'!.

Only in a woman's very wild imagination can such be possible with Nigerian men...

In India, could be possible considering they run a matriarchal family system, which I'm sure Nigerian women would have loved to be a part of.
But with Nigerians? A very interesting fantasy.

"While in Rome, best act like Romans".

As long as the system favours a particular gender, expect the members to take full advantage of it.
It's what it is...

Powerfly:
Lemme help her answer it..
After delivery, the wife would nurse the Child to a toddler age, then hand it over to the side man to take care of, the bills goes to the side man and he eventually gets to keep the child while the mother can visit often..
I'm sure, the husband would not mind the inconveniences... after all, there are things we do for love and marriage.

Is MrSamsung a "her"?

Well you did a lot more than she/he by answering the question instead of being patronizing...

Do I even need to break down your answer?
I'm sure you already know how terribly unrealistic it is.

Why any woman would choose to depend solely on the generosity and goodwill of her husband for the long-term without having any plans to become self-sufficient, remains a mystery to me.

It seems like a proper lack of foresight... or perhaps waiting for the husband's death and taking over everything he owns was the plan afterall.

MrSamsung:
You see one thing guys like you which from the look of things are in the majority don't realize is that you harm and corrupt men(most especially the coming generational men which might include your own male progeny), families, society and the world more when you accept this hypocrisy on the part of a man or as long as the man does it, it is not that bad, or it's different thereby normalizing the abnormal.

And when women who live in these morally bankrupt or corrupted families and societies turn out to be who they are, we men then get heartbroken in our marriages and relationships, lacking peace in our matrimonial homes. And finally we will come to Nairaland and say fear women, there are no good women, women are cheaters, forgetting that we men who are rulers of the society allow these things to happen, participate in doing them and justify it while the women FOLLOW and IMITATE. Afterall you as a husband can't have right to your rod while she also a freeborn with freewill can not have right to her VJ in a free world.

YOU CAN CHEAT ON YOUR GOOD WIFE AND HAVE BABY MAMAS AND AWAY-CHILDREN, BUT YOU CAN'T CHEAT ON THE MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN THAT WOULD LIVE AND BE BORN IN SUCH A RUIN AND CORRUPTED FAMILIES AND SOCIETIES.

The cycle continues and we cry and turn bad

If you so wish, you could go on typing and gesticulating from now till tomorrow because you need to appear neutral and without bias.
However, it still won't change one fact and a universal truth that when it comes to cheating, a husband having a love-child versus a wife having a love-child are two very different things that can't be adjudged in the same way.

I asked the other gentleman some questions which I feel you would have done well to answer since you felt the need to jump in on the comment, instead you went off on a tangent going on about the upcoming generation, progeny, the society, bla bla bla... Like who gives a fvck mayn? LoL

You're even insinuating that my comment is corrupting the younger generation yada yada yada...
Do you think typing comments on NL is going to stop anyone from cheating or having biases that are backed up by the reality of this world?

Infidelity in marriages that's been happening since the dawn of time and perpetuated by both men and women equally, is something that won't stop... neither will appealing to the emotions of people urging them to be less hypocritical suddenly erase the fact that a husband can get another woman pregnant, inform his wife and still continue with the marriage if the wife so pleases because he does NOT need to impose the child on her or have her take care of it.

However, if it was the wife with a pregnancy from another man and she informs her husband, how then REALISTICALLY do you expect the marriage to continue?

— Should her husband accept another man's child, raise it, spend his money on it, and roleplay daddy?
— Or should she handover the child to her side-bobo instead and continue with her marriage without the interference of the child?

You can stew on the answers to the above questions.

If you understood my thought process well enough, you would know that I have never been one to sugarcoat anything to please the gender that loves to hear lies disguised as sweet nothings just because it makes them feel good – same reason they are easily the most deceived by people who know how to game even when they assume they're in control of a situation.

So yea, of course women are cheaters and men are cheaters as well – I have never denied it or tried to change the world's perception, I don't even care to.
And yes, you should definitely fear women just as men should be feared too — There's no innocent gender as far as I'm concerned.
And then, perhaps men are really scum afterall but are women angels in comparison? Fvck NO!

My stance has always remained the same when it comes to marriage and infidelity, husbands and wives should cheat if they want to cheat... Just try not to get caught or bring the child of your infidelity to the house.

And furthermore, between a husband and a wife, who is more capable of having a child outside the marriage without letting it interfere with the union? A husband can 100%.
No woman is going to successfully do that as long as her husband is aware of her infidelity, NONE.

It's fine if you see it as hypocrisy, you can also hate it or love it. None of your emotional response to the above stated fact is going to change anything about the reality of things.

Cheers...

viktohmarkz:
This hits home,
God forgive me, but blessing thank God you didn't ruin my life because of pregnancy, to that foetus i hope you forgive too, it wasn't intentional but gambling on probability wasn't a good idea, i rather stick to making possibilities with my life.

To all my guys out there dont go sagging without a condom, i go pull out no deh for when she lock you with her leg.

The future is really female and some got evil intentions too

While this may seem cold and insensitive to read, I see the point and can understand how it resonates with this part of Motimo's post:

If you did not intend marriage, don’t be forced to accept a baby mama to move in with you. Consensual sex is just that, don’t be railroaded into marriage.

Both of you are basically saying the same thing but coming from a man, you should expect a lot of antagonism from the chics here.

GenAbacha:
It rains everywhere but it was this on this same nairaland that someone said his fiancée began disgusting him after she was raped, a crime which was not her fault.

Let alone someone intentionally breaking trusts and covenants.

Let me ask you a question; if your young wife confesses to you that she’s months pregnant with her side piece’s baby, what would be your reaction?

This is a very good question that seeks to reveal ones' hypocrisy, but the truth is the situation here is totally different from the one in the OP.

A wife confessing to her husband that she's pregnant for her side-bobo should/must naturally end the marriage. No compromises!
I mean, is a husband supposed to take ownership of another man's baby, raise him/her with his money and play daddy to it?
Or will the wife handover the child to the side-bobo and have nothing to do with it anymore?

How exactly is a peaceful resolution supposed to play out in the above scenario, I wonder...


It's a totally different situation where a husband is the one who has a child with his side-chick.
He can remain married, keep the child away & with its mother without needing/asking his wife to play mummy.

My sister has bad temperament and it is not easy to calm her down when triggered. She's threatening to quit the marriage and I fear she may do something wrong this time around.

After threatening fire & brimstone, I hope she'll actually go ahead and quit the marriage.

MufasaLion:
I was meant to say pregnant woman. I think such fetish comes from addiction to porn.

And from a restless spirit too.

MufasaLion:
I don't find women attractive easily because I have high taste. A married woman? You making it worse

"Married" is not even the issue, I've been attracted to married women before.

Na the pregnancy part I nor understand.

Uyi168:
..
They be observing you like this..

LOL...

MufasaLion:
Do you want me to throw up? See how you're analysing it

The thought of it reach to throw up abeg...

Do those men not know that pregnant women have natural secretions due to pregnancy?

It's a different thing if it's one's wife, but sexual attraction for another man's pregnant wife? Fvck that.

Kobojunkie:
You accuse me of twisting what Jesus Christ said in Luke 34 - 36, so let's see. So lets see what Jesus Christ said .

From what is stated by Jesus Christ in the passage above, what part of what He said leads you to believe that that marriages are of the Kingdom of God aka Christian in origin or existence?

Did Jesus Christ not make it clear that it is the people of this world, not His Kingdom, that are married and are given in marriage?

Did Jesus Christ not make it clear that marriages are not a part of His Kingdom where none marry or are given in marriage?

How exactly is my statement a twist on what is made clear to all in scripture there?

Madam, my previous post has dealt with everything that needs to be dealt with.

If you want to keep pretending you're not deliberately twisting those verses, be my guest... but for the sake of clarity, you can post the preceding verses that outline the story which gave rise to that response in verse 34-36.

Cheers...

Kobojunkie:
Jesus Christ taught you in Luke 20 vs 34-36, that your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God. So your first error is believing in the lie that is "Christian" marriage - it doesn't exist, whether you are a "true" born-again or not.

God never indicated that a Christian should only marry another Christian , so such rules are not of God. Instead. His rule is simply a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Do not add or remove from God's Law even where marriage is concerned.

You've been going on and on about this verse and twisting the interpretation to mean that there's no such thing as a Christian Marriage.

First of all, a Christian marriage is a marriage that is conducted under and/or within the customs/laws of Christianity. Simple!
The idea here is that you do NOT want to marry someone who does not share the same beliefs as you do because one could easily become influenced by non-christian beliefs.

It is in the same way God instructed the Israelites to marry ONLY Israelites who belong to one of the 12 tribes and they should stay away from foreign women/men so that they be not seduced into worshipping their foreign gods (this was specifically stated as the reason).

By the above submission, you can definitely say that there is such a thing as a Jewish marriage as sanctioned by God... and furthermore a Christian marriage, as well as a Muslim marriage.
And so on and so forth as with every other religion...




****
Now regarding your misunderstanding which ought to be addressed:

Luke 20:34-36 was Jesus' response to a "trick" question the Sadducees asked him while trying to catch him in blasphemy. They needed a reason to arrest him without incurring the wrath of the people.

They came to him and said that according to the Laws of Moses, when a man dies without having children, his surviving brother is expected to marry his widow and have children for the late brother.

They subsequently came up with a fake story about a family of seven sons. The eldest son died and left his widow childless. The second son married the woman and died still without having children. The third son followed and all the way to the seventh, they all died without having children.
Furthermore, the woman died as well.

They then asked him – When all these people get to heaven, whose wife will the woman be among the seven brothers?
His reply is what is found in Luke 20:34-36 which you keep misrepresenting here, perhaps deliberately to mislead and push your agenda that there's no such thing as a Christian marriage.

That reply of Jesus was simple:
After death and resurrection, there is no marriage because they are now spirits (like angels) meaning it's only humans that marry and are given in marriages, ergo, the concept of marriage does not exist in the kingdom to come.

That verse says absolutely nothing about how there's no such thing as a Christian marriage.

seyi360:
No need to overrate the marital institution

There are kids raised by single parents who are better of those raised by both

Shit happens in life, a married person today can become single tomorrow for many reasons

Lastly, don't be hasty to conclude that a man is not fit to be a father.

LoL.. A piece of advise bro, if you'll take it.

Next time you wish to respond to people who try to blackmail you with stuff like "doing what is best for the kids," ask them about their opinion on homosexual couples who decide to raise kids in such unnatural set-ups, and if they considered what was best for the kid(s) before engaging in/supporting such.

Do the above and watch them chase their own tails as they try to claw themselves out of a pit of their own hypocrisy.



****
As regards your question, I believe you should do whatever you choose. Having a wife will come with its pitfalls, having a baby-mama will come with its as well.

However if your intention is to avoid tethering yourself to a woman for the rest of your life while living with her under the same roof, then you could opt for a baby-mama.
Just ensure the lady is on the same page with you and wants the same thing — it's the only way to get the most/best out of the arrangement.

Remember, this is the modern way to do things. Liberals and feminists ought to be proud of you...

Funny how a certain group of people who are well known for defending single-mothers and demanding that the rest of the world should not spite them, turn out to be the same people who go all out trying to convince men to get married instead of having baby-mamas.

I honestly thought in a modern world, it really didn't matter if a child was raised by a single-mom, a single-dad, two mommies, or two daddies.

We love the modern world please...

Monogamy:
Some men are just shameless.

Toasting heavy pregnant woman ? Very idiotic act

Shameless is an understatement, more like complete insanity but they simply don't know it yet.

The thought of even having sexual attraction for a woman who's heavily pregnant with another man's child is repulsing enough, not to mention having sexual intercourse with her in that state.

Akell:
The Scottish government has announced that children as young as four will be able to change their gender at school without their parents’ consent under guidance introduced in the country, Mail Oline reports.

If these children as young as four can also be allowed to have sex whenever they feel like it, then I can agree that the law is perfect since children now have the level of awareness necessary to make such decisions.

Mumu people...

It's hard to believe the same person typed these two comments...

elonmuskbaby:
Parents provoke not your children into wrath

Parents doesn't include biological parents Alone in-laws inclusive. ordinarily she wouldn't have done this but when you exhaust a person's patience and limits which everyone has,she will misbehave

Even with goats, if you push it to the wall it will turn back

elonmuskbaby:
there's no justification for violence.violence should have no place in any relationship how much more marriage. there are other decent ways to handle conflicts/disagreement in marriage and violence is not one of it please

Or are you implying that when it involves a man and a woman, there's no justification for violence... BUT when it involves a woman and another woman, then goats can be pushed to the wall?

Feminists all over the world need to mobilize and help out these women in Afghanistan.

They have real issues over there, not the nonsense which Western and Nigerian feminists like to bother us with.

Ishilove:
Oya men, answer

How about you propose to your current guy and buy an engagement ring for him.
I'm pretty sure he'll put it on.

You don't expect a man to propose to a woman with a ring he bought and then go ahead to buy another ring to engage himself, do you?

elonmuskbaby:
Parents provoke not your children into wrath

Parents doesn't include biological parents Alone in-laws inclusive.ordinarily she wouldn't have done this but when you exhaust a person's patience and limits which everyone has, she will misbehave

Even with goats, if you push it to the wall it will turn back

Ordinarily, this same logic ought to be applied when it's a man beating up his wife.

talk2hb1:
So America has been lying all this while, they never defeated the Taliban's.

Lol, whoever believes anything the US claims?

Even with this so-called withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan, I believe the US government will maintain a covert presence in the country.

They need to monitor the Taliban and to do this effectively, they will leave behind some assets on the ground.

sslcrypt:
[s]China has no choice because they know the taliban would focus on them due to the eradication program its implementing on ughuir muslims.
Secondly china fears these uighurs muslims would set up training camp in afghanistan and can easily penetrate china due to their close border proximity.
Thirdly their belt and road initiative is something they want to keep alive and afghanistan is part of the project. This means that they need the taliban on board to make the project happen.

Russia on the other hand have be dealt with by the taliban, so they won't want a repeat of terrorist trained in Afghanistan making their way into Russia federal regions especially chechnia.

So they will have to come to some sought of compromise because a spread of taliban success would reactivate many islamic groups.

And russia to it's south is surrounded by islamic nation's from turkmenistan to krygstan to kazakhstan.[/s]

The ONLY reason why Russia and China wish to have an alliance with the new Taliban government is because of shared interests... no more, no less.

The Chinese and Russian foreign policy of antagonism towards the US and its allies, is something they share in common with the Taliban even though they may not completely agree with everything the Taliban stands for.

These shared interests are the same reason why despite heavy economic sanctions, Russia and China still actively engages in trade with North Korea.

It's a simple case of "The enemy of my enemy is my friend".

Shít happens.

If we start counting the number of persons who fell out of love with people who otherwise had done a lot for them (even life changing things), both genders will be equally guilty.

The heart wants what it wants...

I wonder why you felt the need to announce your intention on NL.

Enter street jor, you will see who will price you.

Mtcheeeeeeeww...

https://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/done.gif

Rozcol:
You are the snake here and I'm surprised some of them still haven't figured you out,chief instigator, your name always popping up when ladies in this section are arguing. I fear who no fear you

Boss level!!!

https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/wic.gif

bepositive11:
I know. Still, building your children up should be the first priority. Inheritance is a plus

So many parents leave inheritance behind without building up their children. Then their children fight for inheritance or drain up their inheritance

When children are built well, if there's no inheritance, they can build their own. If there is inheritance, they'll multiply it

Definitely...