₦airaland Forum

mariahAngel:
What has boyfriend got to do with a man providing for his family?

Mercychen:
This has lost the touch and idea of a real beach with all these funitures and decors.

A beach is supposed to have that feel and view of nature. Anything short of that is a resort center.

I don't fancy this kind of artificial view in a beach. Give me the beautiful sand, coconut trees and huge water body that are common features of a beach. This looks too unnatural.

I miss my childhood days when pops used to trip us to the beach. Building of sand castle thinz. Chai.

mariahAngel:
Just as how working to provide for the family is a man’s job!
That is how it was and should always be.

HigherEd:
China by itself will ruin its own path to world power through her excessive demand for control.

bukatyne:
:

Wahala be like bicycle.

Some divorce their wives because they are possessed; this husband has to stick to his wife because she is possessed.

BTW, the pastor did not mention possession; he said the OP should not divorce his wife.

What was your friend expecting the pastor to say before?

Have you heard a pastor preach or encourage divorce except for exceptions

JESHAL:

They have started educated mordern women

mariahAngel:
Oh! The church too?
Is there a law preventing women from preaching the gospel or starting a church?
Why should women take up leadership roles, instead of being leaders? You become a leader by starting, not by waiting until it is given to you.

Godoverevery:
And the question is who are the people who program them to fail

Is it the men that tell the girl child all she needs is to get a rich man and that all??

The female have themselves to blame for this and not we men..

Nothing will be handed over to you....you must fight for it because that's life.

truthsayer009:
Honestly, I don't understand why they feel the need to recruit and bring everyone on board. If one woman amongst 100 doesn't agree with them on one specific topic, then that person should just be killed and left to rotten. I value people who have individual mindset, whether they right or wrong it doesn't matter.

Enemy within... Bruh I'm weak.

angelfallz:
I am beginning to think they were paid to do this.

bukatyne:
To think I was expecting answers to the questions I asked below.

bukatyne:
I am not marginalized; your sisters are not marginalized; the women on this thread are not marginalized; Ini Edo that started the rant is not marginalized....

Yet women are marginalized.

So because we do not have 50% representation of governors or presidents, women are marginalized?

Do you even understand that men and women are different and want different things?

Must the quality of a woman's life be measured in relation to a man's?

Can't a woman define what a good life means to her and work for it?

bukatyne:


Well-done PrimadonnaO on this thread.

We have ensured everyone has equal opportunities; now we are policing for equal outcomes.

We will still get to 'why do only women get pregnant when men & women have sex'?

A woman got the presidential ticket some years back yet only four people voted for her.

I am 100% sure that more than 4 feminists in Nigeria were eligible to vote and had PVCs.

They did not vote for her yet come to wail that women are marginalized.

truthsayer009:
This reeks of pure hate from you, what does enemy within mean? She has a different opinion about marginalization in Nigeria & all of a sudden, she has become an enemy. So anyone that doesn't accept your POV is an enemy.

So if crackhaus or raalsalghul disagrees with me on one topic , It automatically means they are now my enemies. Jeez!

Thank God say man no be God o.

Godoverevery:
And the question is who are the people who program them to fail

Is it the men that tell the girl child all she needs is to get a rich man and that all??

The female have themselves to blame for this and not we men..

Nothing will be handed over to you....you must fight for it because that's life.

PrimadonnaO:
To allude women's decision to not aspire to certain positions and heights to societal conditioning is just too intangible.

How can that be measured?


How have you reached that conclusion?

So if a woman says "I'm not running for the office of the President because society doesn't expect me to" do you think she still has any right to scream marginalisation?

No, she doesn't. Because her limitation is in her head, and there is nothing in the real sense stopping her from breaking free of it.

bukatyne:
Should I lend you my glasses?

Women developing men no ni.

The women might get better jobs so groom the men to get top jobs, revamp his carriage, his spiritual life etc. etc.

The OP fall hand jare.

I think it was just a sexual relationship that progressed into marriage.

PrimadonnaO:
You know you've not said anything, yeah?

How has the paternalistic society stopped women from aspiring to be Presidentz et al?

FreeIgboho:
By conditioning and expectations, that's how. Human beings don't aspire to things you've conditioned them to believe from childhood is beyond them. Only the rare woman indeed can overcome such conditioning

PrimadonnaO:
This is quite intangible.

tensazangetsu20:
True here. My dad has not paid my fees since primary school. My mom paid my fees to the university that's why she gets all my money now and it's same for many of my friends. I don't know where men take care of their families but it definitely not in Nigeria.

Plead:
If you go through this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6788228/cost-getting-married-poor-family/4 you'd understand why.
Marriage is the only way most African women level up in life,hence the reason they celebrate it like a trophy. If you go through the thread you'll notice 99% of the female commenters were advising the OP to marry a poor and uneducated woman with baggages (many siblings+parents that will be depending on him). If the reverse was the case, they'd never give the same advise.

Who wouldn't like the idea of being free of financial duties for life? Having all your bills being paid for by someone else.

So, my friend, that is the reason why most African women see marriage as a do or die affair, and also celebrate it like trophy. Even while they're still in NYSC or university, they've already started wishing to get married. Marriage is the ultimate priority of the female folks.

No matter how any clout chasing female try to claim otherwise on social media,it wouldn't change reality.

Cc crackhaus

mariahAngel:
Well, his reason for wanting to throw away a more than 8yrs old relationship is not valid enough in my opinion.
Although if you ask me, I'd say he never really loved Chioma to begin with.

My intention (with my earlier comment) was more to provoke some thoughts in him, and never to emotionally blackmail him.
I'd do the same with any of my brothers if they were going to make such a decision in a similar situation as the op's.

I think the op should really think things through.
A person who complements you doesn't come by easily these days.

PrimadonnaO:
I feel he's screwed whichever way. If he does a 360° and abandons her, he may always feel guilty... he may end up marrying someone else as a rebound only to regret it down the line.

And if he goes ahead to marry her, he will likely be financially stressed for sometime... there's no telling how long. Heaven may smile on them in good time.

He needs to take time off to think things through...and pray, too.

PrimadonnaO:
Imagine him returning the bride price and he's asked why.

"I just realised you and your family's too poor."

Somehow, in this story, what I'm most concerned about is how in 8 years, her station in life didn't change.

Since he was concerned and supposedly loved her, how did he not encourage her to further her education, even if it was an NCE.

How didn't she learn any skill she could have monetised?

Mind-boggling.

What sort of static 8-year relationship were they into?

ItsTutsi:
Pls recommend me series on Netflix with lots of nudity

Savloon:
Please help a brother, I'll try to make it brief. I got married to someone I don't really love but because of pregnancy.

mariahAngel:
Would you let go of a woman who’s known you for more than 8yrs for no major issues other than she’s from a poor background?
That is practically a lifetime of knowing someone, and only a fool would throw all that away.

As far as the bride price has been paid, she’s his wife anyways.

bukatyne:
Don't women develop men where you are from?

The husband in this case is the 'enlightened' partner and should have developed the girl to his standard or influenced her to the point she is thirsty for the next level.

She is not even thinking of becoming an auxiliary nurse or chemist to complement her husband.

What were they discussing?

Was marriage even on the table or it just progressed to marriage because they have benn together for 8 years?