₦airaland Forum

HiddenShadow:
Only silly people doubt the Igbo Israeli connection
If a person studies the fair skin Igbos, he will realise that Igbos are not truly Negros.

Chei!!!!! Wetin person no go read for nairaland??

sil:
There was this friend we grew up together, went to the same schools and very close because of our family relationship. He was staying a bit far because of the nature of his business, he brought his only daughter to stay with me and school, i took her and treated her like a daughter. After some time she started developing into her adolesence age; i couldn't keep my eyes off her. I had to fall in love with her never minding the consequences.

I asked her out and she accepted. There we started making love day and night whenever my wife is away from the house. During the holidays, she went home to her parents and the mom discovered she was pregnant!! she wrote to me and told me she hasn't told her parents who impregnanted her.

There is a saying that "Nothing is hidden under the sun; when the wind blows the anus of the chicken is exposed"

Now, what do i do because i'm confused way beyond should my friend find out that i impregnanted his daughter!!

What about my wife and children, how would they feel should they come to find out i impregnanted a girl i took as my own daughter??

Please somebody, tell me what to do.

So what did you eventually end up doing?

How would someone be desperate to get married simply because your friends and siblings are all married?? Na wa o. The Naija thought process sef.

Keneking:
Nonsense writeup

- What solutions have they rendered through their agenda setting?

- Oil is the mainstay for Nigeria and she has to do anything to survive the period.

- Focus is on security, economy and anti-corruption. Don't they understand?

- Whether to adopt North Korea's economic and Chinese social systems should not bother any sane mind. The government is new and of Change.

Nonsense remarks....Jonathan sef

First of all, stop being defensive when someone points an inconvenient Truth. You might not like it but that doesn't mean it's a "nonsense write up".

Secondly, its the job of the financial times to comment and critique things that have to do with global markets. It's what those guys get paid to do just like you are probably paid to do your job. Their job is not to offer solutions like you think, thats the job of the President's team to do that.

Concerning your third point that the President should focus on security, economy, and anti-corruption; well this entire article is based on the Nigerian economy abi you didn't read it.

At the end of the day, this presidency has a proverbial big mountain to climb to be able to fix Nigeria's problems and I hope for the good of our nation, he finds it.

39. Go back to first desk, fill out triplicate form with name, telephone number, amount, and booking reference.
40. Hand form to clerk. Get your book out.
41. Dig into rucksack and pull out massive pile of cash. Hand over thickness of notes that you think is within 10% of the ticket price.
42. Watch clerk spin the notes through a counter, pay the shortfall.
43. Watch, or read, while clerk stamps your form and scribbles stuff on bits of paper.
44. Go to ledger, write name, telephone number, amount, and form serial number on right-hand page.
45. Take form to another counter and hand it to clerk.
46. Return to seat in the corner and read your book.
47. Clarify pretty much every piece of information on the form, one at a time, when the clerk asks.
48. Wait for clerk to manually type details into computer.
49. Receive pieces of paper, accompany clerk out of strongroom and into main part of bank.
50. Hand pieces of paper back to clerk, who disappears somewhere.
51. Enjoy your book for a while.
52. Receive pieces of paper, now decorated with various stamps.
53. Sign and date pieces of paper.
54. Watch whilst clerk tears them in half and gives you your portion.
55. Leave bank, sit in traffic for 45 minutes on return to office.
56. Check email and receive e-ticket.

I just can’t figure out why Nigeria isn’t prosperous.
http://www.desertsun.co.uk/blog/?p=855

26. Accept massive pile of reeking Nigerian bank notes the size of a breeze block. Stuff them into rucksack.
27. Wander the streets for a while trying to find where your driver has parked. He’s not allowed to park in the security of the office compound, so employees carrying huge piles of cash must roam the back streets with it immediately after half the company has just seen you withdraw it.
28. Find driver, sit in traffic whilst he pretends to take you to the next bank.
29. Get to bank, approach counter.
30. Ask dimwit behind counter where you can pay for tickets.
31. Get directed to another counter.
32. Get directed to side door.
33. Go through side door and down tatty corridor to prison cell door.
34. Thump on door.
35. Present mug for inspection when sliding hatch opens.
36. Go through door into stinking strong room with what looks to be a freedom fighter of a peasant army holding an AK-47 guarding the door.
37. Go to desk at the back, explain to clerk sitting beside the biggest pile of money you’ve ever seen that you want to pay for an airline ticket.
38. Go to other desk, fill out name, telephone number, amount, and airline on the left-hand page of a ledger.

14. Ask bloke behind the desk how you can pay for your recently booked ticket.
15. Absorb advice that payment in the office is possible but will not include the 5% online purchase discount, if you want that you will have to pay in a bank.
16. Go back downstairs to office, call a driver to take you to the secure bank in the company offices.
17. Sit in traffic for three quarters of an hour.
18. Get to bank, hand over company cheque made out in your name and handed to you in your first week for reasons which were never made clear.
19. Hang about whilst the bank clerk does some pointless administration exercise crucial to the cashing of your cheque. Where did I put my other book? I’ve finished this one.
20. Hand over passport copy.
21. Write your name, address, date, and signature on the back of the cheque.
22. Hand cheque back to clerk, who stamps it right next to where you have just written.
23. Write your name, date, and signature where he has stamped.
24. Hand cheque back to clerk.
25. Wait for a while, polishing off chapters 1-3 of your next book.

I came across this blog a while ago about an expatriates visit to Naija and his observation and it was hilarious. I just wanted to share.


How To Buy An Aeroplane Ticket In Nigeria
1. Visit website of desired airline.
2. Select flight, date, etc.
3. Proceed to payment page.
4. Observe large red warning notice to the effect that, thanks to your country of origin being infested with dickheads who would defraud their unborn children, paying online is not an option.
5. Choose a good book.
6. Walk up one flight of steps to the airline office, which just so happens to be situated above yours.
7. Hold your nose and try to avoid retching too loudly. Wonder aloud why some people cannot wash.
8. Have an inane conversation with a brain-dead security guard who is playing receptionist for the day.
9. Write your name on a piece of paper and collect a ticket.
10. Sit in the pre-waiting area, which is where people wait before being admitted to the waiting area. Get your nose in the book. Read 10 pages.
11. Wait until the security guard calls you into the waiting area proper.
12. Take a seat and get your nose back in the book. Read 10-20 pages.
13. When sign displays your number, go to appropriate desk.

This is naija's basic problem.
The federal govt trying to do everything. I am sorry but its not the job of the fed. govt to be getting involved in every sector. Their job is to be a regulatory body. To enforce aviation codes and standards. Not to be running their own airlines and competing with the private sector.

How can you have a country where the central government is involved in almost everything from running TV stations to even football clubs (there are only two privately owned football clubs in the NPL)? Na wa o.

Ronald Reagan used to say that we don't need more govt, what we need is less govt. That rings true today as it did in the 70's and 80's.

Decker:
Why did you think he was Yoruba? Because of the name?

Although 'Jide' is a Yoruba word, 'Jide' is also an Igbo word that loosely translates to; Hold onto or Embrace. And 'Nna' is also an Igbo word that loosely translates to Father.
So 'Jidenna' actually means "hold on to the father" or "Embrace the father".

Both Igbos and Yorubas answer Jide.

It's a truly beautiful name.

Why isn't it a common name? Most igbos I see either bear English names or religious names.

Laclasse:
Nice inputs from davidif and sagamite.

MBA is not really worth the stress and finance.
There are lots of books free of charge where one can get knowledge for all that MBA is offering.

Getting a certification could come in handy if you so much require the piece of paper.

I don't think I agree with you on that sir. I learnt accounting, finance and management in the classes I took in school. I don't think I could have learnt them by just picking up a book and reading them.
It is necessary to be open minded about learning rather than being defensive and thinking that one knows it all.

wahabian:
"Africa is bad","Africa is this ","Africa is that", What have you done about it? No matter where you run to - it will never be your home,they will never accept you and you'll always face racism.

I still stand by my word,Africa rewards hard work. If you want me to give you examples I will.

Finally,quit discouraging people who are willing to relocate. White people live here and they never complain. What is your own sef?

What?!?! White people living in Nigeria and not complaining? First of all, th fact they dont complain to you does not mean they are not complaining to someone else.
In fact, i have read some blogs from Westerners who lived in Nigeria and boy oh boy what they have to say about Naija is truly humbling and shows how far we still have to go.

Ishilove:
Being church workers is no gurantee of compatibility. The only difference between them and the next sinner is the label 'church worker'.

My brother you would be amazed how many people lack that insight and discernment.

The fact that two people happen to be single and are both workers in church doesn't mean that they are a good fit for each other.

I don't know when people would realize that not everyone is MEANT for dating. The fact that someone is single, attractive and is supposedly a 'good' Christian does not mean that person is the right fit for you.

Interesting thread.

Miami11:
Anyone with pictures of good schools around you but in Africa( any country)

It's about time we try to educate our kids in other African Countries than heading to the west,

I like the African values
Abroad is scary with kids bringing guns in school

The Swiss are known for having the best boarding schools bro.

Send your kids to boarding schools in Switzerland, they are known for having some of the best boarding schools.

Lizabeth25:
Does it mean that people of those days were created from different species?

My parent stayed married for 35years until we lost mom! Dad is even refusing to re-marry because he said he can never get anybody like my late mom.

What's happening to New Generations? How come little things break homes? Does this mean that people hide their true self until after marriage?

My sister that's something to ponder on.

Congrats. May God bless you bro and grant you favor.

emmyw:
But seriously, i don't know why people hate the truth this days? every form of sin has now turn to normal thing.

Cos we are in the end times. Don't you read your bible?
In the last days, men shall be lovers of evil.

SinghInLagos:
It's unfortunate what happen to this guy. Many peoples are going to India and not having any problem. He should not judge a country just base on one unfortunate incident. @OP sorry this happen on you in my country. Here in Nigeria I always feel welcome and so sad to hear you did not feels the same in my country.

Finally, a reasonable post. May God bless you tremendously for this post sir.

TalentManager:
These things happens but God only reveals such to people who he has plans to call or he is calling. I say keep your faith up but be ready for some challenges.
Almost all evangelist has experienced such, i know i have. If I tell you mine you will think I am nuts its a sure sign from Heaven

Please can you share with us. I read the testimony by the OP and it has truly moved me and I would like to hear more.

I have been thinking of this testimony for a while now. It was truly powerful. Please, do you mind if I contact you by any chance ma'am?

OP,
First of all, you need to learn the mores and customs of a country before going there.

Secondly, you don't call a girl you just met "babe". That's absolutely tacky (distasteful). You are not in Nigeria and stuff like that is frowned down in a lot of cultures. I can understand saying hi or hello but " babe"?? Haba!

Thirdly, must you hit on (toast) any beautiful girl you come across? What is with a lot of Naija men that they can't see a pretty woman and walk away. A naija lady once told me that Naija men are always toasting and not once did I doubt her. Did it ever occur to you that she might not be single or that you might not be her type yet you just walked up to her and called her "babe".

And finally, if you think Indians are bad, just go to Saudi Arabia or some parts of the world and try to toast a lady and see what happens to you.

OP, please you are not ready for marriage yet o. You are young and still have a lot going for you. Take your time and focus on your academics and fight out what your passions and dreams are and how to pursue them.
Enjoy this season and stage in life. You don't need to be focused on long term relationships right now.
Trying to latch on to a man out of fear that you would never meet someone else is folly o. Please, your future is sooooooo bright girl, don't let anyone curtail it abeg and STOP receiving stolen money from the yahoo yahoo boy. It's I'll gotten wealth. Don't curtail your destiny because of short term benefits.

What?!?! How can you propose to someone you barely know? Na wa o. Is this what Naija men do this days? I thought you are supposed to date someone for a while then really get to know them before proposing? Chai! Naija people self.

Some years ago, I heard of a naija guy in my school that walked up to a black American girl and said "I love you". A girl he was just meeting for the first time. Chai! I laugh tire. And in their head this guys think say dem get game.

Vivipop:
Yea yea yea, i know. It's natural, it's biology, I get it. But then, it sounds too too vain for a man of 70 to ask for the dissolution of his 41 year old marriage on the ground of Sex Deprivation. Grampa should lay back and enjoy those memories while we the sweet sixteens take over. I can't wait to know what this thing called sex is all about. It has done more harm than good. **tongue in cheek**

I guess you are still very young but when you get to your 50's or 60's your opinion might change a little.
One thing you will discover when you get older is that sex is the super glue that binds couples in a marriage. There is a reason why God meant it only for marriage. It is a very binding agent.
Another thing is that this issue might actually be much bigger than you and I know about. There might be a host of other issues that has lead both of them to divorce court but whatever it is so I am not willing to label baba vain just yet.

mobaladf:
Guy shey u dy read bible sha. Instead of planning how to construct and make peace btw his wife, he is asking for divorce. Whereas he will be preaching to young couples that they shudnt divorce each other. He called imself pastor, he shud pray more for God to change his wife mind not sking for divorce. Guy think befor u comment.

While I am not in their family, I highly doubt that he hasn't prayed to God to change his wife. The man has probably reached breaking point and that is probably why he is filing for divorce.

One thing you would learn later in life is that the older some people get, the more set in their ways they become. In fact some people are so hard headed and resistant to change that they constantly frustrate the work of the spirit of God in their lives. I am not saying mama is one of them o but you never know.

mobaladf:
False pastors

They say that before you judge someone walk a mile in his shoes.

Either way sha, its not biblical for that lady to starve her husband of sex except for during fasting time but like they say, there is two sides to every story.

Vivipop:
At 70, e never do you?

It's biology girl.

You can also watch his testimony here. It is probably the most powerful testimony you would listen to.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2YUaeyditU

Check this powerful testimony out, it might encourage you.

http://www.worldtrumpet.com/#!the-testimony/c1kpq

Powerful! Thanks for sharing!