₦airaland Forum

OFunke24:
I feel so tired of being a first daughter. It feels my life is full of running errands and doing things for everyone but myself. I feel like a servant. I don't know who I am or my what I want to do in life. Im at home all day doing nothing but serving others. I feel so sad and tired of it whenever I remember I will still have to do it all again tomorrow not knowing when this will all end.

I see my siblings moving forward in life and I only have a Highschool certificate. My father didnt train me in school and frustrated all my mother's attempts to further my education. Yet all my siblings were put in school. I don't even have the time or mental space to run a business.

I want to leave and be on my own. I want to be able to hear myself. I want to wake up in the morning not thinking of what others will eat or errands that need to be ran. I don't want to think of lunch or dinner or worry about anyone else but myself. I don't even want to hear my name because it is always followed by one request or the other.

This holiday season I kept on thinking about how much I didn't want any family or guests to come visit because it would only mean more work for me. I would be the one living in the kitchen running around like a maid. It makes me feel so ashamed and less than. When people at home remember my running around they then start with the praises "Oh what would we do without you?", "Our second mother." "So hard working, what a strong girl." I don't want any of those praises. They make me feel worse because I don't do any of this by choice. I don't care for compliments for something I have no option but to do. Would any of them still say good things about me if I decided I was tired of living like this, of being at their beck and call? I want to be left alone. Because of these feelings I don't have any desire to have children. The thought of living like this again taking care of children makes me sad and I feel tired at the thought. I feel drained physically, emotionally and mentally. Sometimes I wonder if this is how it feels for all children and if I am just not cut out for this.

Christianoir:
So it been over 2 weeks I’ve been having frequent urination I thought it was an uti. I went to chemist to complain they gave me anti-biotic. I don’t experience pain or discharge, just that urge to urinate nd frequent urination

After taking the drugs the urination is still there.
So I went for urine nd blood test

My urine appeared straw nothing in my urine
I did VDRL Test it appeared positive which is gonorrhea nd I don’t experience any sign of gonnorhea
I also did hiv test it appears negative

I don’t know what to do
I’m planning on doing sugar test, if my sugar is okay I will opt for std treatment

Any suggestions
This frequent urination is Killimg me

xoconi:
This is actually me creating an account for the first time on nairaland after been a guest for years.
Please moderators should assist in pushing it forward

I've been in a relationship with this female for a year and one month. So today, she told me that she's contemplating a breakup. Then I asked her the reasons. She told me that she went to the village. Her mom and her uncles and her relatives were asking her about marriage. Then she told them about me. I am actually 21 years old and she is 22 years old. They said to her that they can't really allow it because of the age difference and financial stability on my side and Why is she in a relationship with someone in the university?


So today we discussed, she told me everything that has been happening and what they said . We have been very, really happy in the relationship and we're dating to marry.

We are both in our final year of university, and we've been in the relationship for one year, and I really love her, and she loves me too. But due to her family decisions, I didn't actually try to fight or go against her family decision or prove anything to them. I was like, okay, it's better that she listens to maybe they understood better or have their reasons.

And also,I told her even though she listens to them, she should not allow them to ride her into making bad decision. I told her that, okay, it's fine, I'm going to leave you for you to have peace of mind, and also peace of mind from your family, so you will not have any kind of hatred towards me or her mother resenting her or me. Because if I try to prove stubborn or anything you know how mother's and relatives can act out,So I decided to grant her request of breaking up

So please, what other opinions do you guys feel like I should have given or gotten?

tasalanoni:
Nl folks, pls your opinions are needed.
I'm currently 31, earning reasonably well and with greater prospects for the future.

The pressure to settle down is getting stronger by the day. However, I don't consider myself psychically fit for marriage in the midst of the deterioration that the marriage Institution is experiencing.

Judging by my current perspective and disposition on the subject of marriage, I don't see myself setting down even in the next 5years. I try to carefully look at the pros and cons of contracting a marriage in today's world and I always come to the conclusion that there are more cons than pros.

I'm also not a very family oriented person in the sense of creating familial bonds and deeply cherishing them hence I derive my fulfillment and pleasure in doing the things I love to do, acquiring wealth and giving help wherever I deem necessary.

The thought of opting for an adoption is beginning to occupy the greater part of my consciousness and the reasons are few and in my opinion very valid.

1. Progeny is very important in social arrangements especially in the Igbo society. I'll definitely be needing someone to carry on the family's name and legacy when I'm no more.

2. If my perspective on marriage changes for any reason and I decide to take the step towards contracting one, I may have become a little too old then to handle the perculiates of marriage and family life( parenting, school runs issues etc). But with a child already in picture and almost a teenager by then, that part of the problem would have been kicked out..

Nb:As for raising the adopted child, myself, parents, siblings and a helper will be involved while financial responsibility will be exclusively mine.

Kindly help me with insightful and mature advice that is based on direct or third party experience.

Joshua69g:
My Caucasian dog littered 6 pups this morning, buh 1 died though. The remaining 5 pups are refusing to suck. They just want to sleep. Please help

tollyboy5:
Wow!

Too much light 4 Lagos here

It seems Nepa supply light to areas where people don't default much and use prepaid meter

Jewessgratitud3:
My younger sisters fiance went to collect list this December. So before he traveled he asked us to describe how to locate our place or who to call to take him to my father's compound..

My uncle is late but his son's came in for Christmas so we said they'd be around that he should go to them. I no longer have any of their contacts after my old phone packed up. So I couldn't help him with anyones contact. The guy just bravely entered road with the directions we gave him to my maternal grandfathers compound where my uncle ( my mother's only brother )now occupies and he got there 4 days ago and met my uncle who now directed him to my father's compound. ( My Mom and Dad are from the same village.


My uncle was able to get my contact from my sister's finance and then called me yesterday. I asked him if the guy was able to collect the list, he said Yes. He now said they gave it to him at 20k ... I say shooo.. is it not too much.. he said he doesn't know and I asked him but your daughter is married now. how much did you charge the man for the list, he now explained that the daughter married a man from our place, so they don't usually collect list fees, it's only from outsiders they collect this fees. My sister's finance is from cross River but he speaks Igbo you would think he's a full blooded Igbo guy.


The last time one of my sister's husbands collected list, it was 2k. That was around 2009.
I wonder what the list would look like. Wiil update sha if I see the list.

mistacoco2:
Hello guys,

For some days now I have been on a serious dilemma whether to resign from my federal government job that pays me above N200k for my current position and migrate to the UK or stay in naija and set up a business to augment my salary. I will be 34 years next year, I feel traveling to the uk for studies next year September will delay my chances of getting married, as I have planned not exceeding 34 years without getting married.

I belong to the school of thought that believes can make it in Nigeria despite all odds. However, considering the economic realities of the country, I have recently contemplating of japa and maybe get a Nigerian lady for marriage after my studies.

Please I earnestly need matured advice from you guys to know how to start the coming year.

StrongAlphMale:
Sadly good guys eat the leftovers after those women finish having fun with the bad guys. Good guys end up becoming stepfathers and understanding boyfriends and husbands 😂

Where's the lie in what she said? The joke is on you pal

adesegun121:
Husband is AA, wife is AS. 3 months after they had their first child, they found out their daughter was SS.

At first, it appeared like a joke, a very bad one. Medically, that isn’t or shouldn’t be possible. They conducted the genotype test in four medical labs, and the result came out the same.

Husband and wife decided to have their genotype test again. Results were the same.

Then it became clear what was happening. Husband ain’t the father of the baby. He secretly had a DNA test and it was confirmed he didn’t father the baby.

Amidst the confusion, he asked his wife if he fathered the baby. Wife wouldn’t confess. She insisted he fathered the baby. It’s just obvious that whoever fathered the baby is AS which resulted in the baby’s SS.

They went for a paternity test and it was glaring husband ain’t the baby’s dad. Wife still insisting she didn’t get impregnated externally. She went ahead to do another DNA. Result was the same.

Wife became a shadow of herself. Husband got crazy. Their home became a “once upon a time.”

Wife kept researching how possible it was that her husband didn’t father her baby and the baby’s genotype is SS.

Then she told a friend of the whole matter. Her friend just felt she’s using female’s antics. “Take responsibility,” she was told. She kept swearing and swearing. Her friend told me of the whole drama.

I kept thinking about how this would be possible. Medically, it was impossible for AA to birth SS. Coupled with the DNA results, it was glaring. But wife claiming innocence and swearing on her life was a whole different thing.

I thought of what could have been. Then I arrived at a conclusion: if wife is innocent, then she’s not the mother of the child. I immediately called my friend that I’ve found a possible solution. MNA (maternity test) to the rescue.

They went for an MNA, and test revealed she’s not the mother of the baby. Babies were changed at birth. Long story cut short, they involved the police and investigations were carried out.

Multiple tests done “here and there.” They got their own baby back – AS. They returned the supposed baby. Hospital was sued for the negligence and trauma.

Wife was so displeased her husband didn’t trust her. They settled and made up. They just had their second baby – a boy. Husband stayed with wife in labor room and monitored everything. Once bitten, twice shy.

At times, so called paternity fraud is change of babies at the hospital.

SOLUTION TO THE ABOVE PROBLEMS:

1. Advise your male children, to stay with their wives in the Labour wards, as their wives are delivering.

2. Advise your female children, to insist on their husbands staying in and remaining in the Labour ward, during child births.

The world of today, are full of people with evil intentions.

Together we can make the world a better place

Source: https://gistmeloveblog.com/how-can-husband-be-aa-and-wife-is-as-and-baby-is-ss/


lalasticlala, Mynd44, OAM4J Seun Nlfpmod

Goreplanet:
1. Never take photos with her.

2. If you call and she hangs up, don't call her back, the husband is around.

3. Don't text her love messages.

4. Satan should not tempt you to sleep at her house even when her husband is out of the country.

5. Never book the same lodging every time you go for a Eeeeeeh! Sheeeeee! Ooooohhh, uuuuuh! Tatatatatatata! Miakmiakmiak! 🙄🙄

6. Do not involve your friends or her friends in your relationship.

7. If she calls you, receive but don't answer fast. Maybe her husband is the one calling trying to find out, let her talk first.

8. Don't call her my everything, she is borrowed.

9. If you find yourself at her place, just lift the dress or lower the trousers halfway during twa twa. Don't remove everything. In case things go wrong and you need to activate Temple Run.🏃🏃🏃🏃

10. Most Importantly, STAY AWAY FROM SOMEONE'S WIFE AND FIND YOUR OWN FA.🤷🤷🤷🙄🙄

Arijude:
Do you approve marriage between a man 32 and a woman of 21 years ? 11 years difference?

seiyefajohn:
EXPERIENCE IS A UNIVERSAL TEACHER

_Seiyefa John✍️🎬

As a petty business man, if you want your profits to keep coming in; then you have to keep standing. E get why. To keep standing in this context is; to be up and doing.

Now hear why. Anytime a petty business man relaxes, his business relaxes. It is the motivation, intervention, momentum and locomotion of the business man that determines the progress of the business.

Experience can teach one a tone of things that's not taught in Harvard Business School. Now i understand better when wise ones say, 'experience is the best teacher.' Permit me to add that, 'experience is a universal teacher.'

DikSin:
I am not an economist but I believe that if all Nigerian billionaires (athletes, clergy, and entertainers) give out 200m each to build roads, hospitals, and shelter. The country will move forward in no time.

Just me thinking out loud

Adanambra1:
i am 39 weeks today and 5 days oo
first timer mama
i don exercise tire
chop pineapple tire
i dey do the do regularly
i don chop spicy food tire... everything on the internet, i have done.
scan already say my baby is head down position
3.5kg....
people of God, what do i do next to avoid Pitocin inducement or epidural

Zhark007:
Ssmsung fold 3 screen needed
Pls anyone with samsung fold 3 screen pls dm 08132202598

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

Seun:
I would like to address the allegation on Twitter about tribalism on Nairaland or that I am some kind of tribalist, because I was told that not addressing it means that they are true.

The more extreme variants of that claim are being pushed primarily by south-eastern tribalists who feel that south-western tribalists have the upper hand on Nairaland in their battles with each other.

Whenever they are banned after breaking rule 2 of Nairaland, they will come back to Twitter to lament about how Nairaland is against their tribe and how I'm personally working against them.

I urge you to disregard any accusation against me or against Nairaland if the accusers cannot prevent hard evidence to support their claims. These people make things up, and people just believe them.

For avoidance of doubt, I have always been a supporter and admirer of south-eastern people. I will never have any tribalistic bone in my body. I am a human who views people as humans first.

The micro-kernel of truth in the mountain of lies is that Nairaland is under-staffed. The staff I have do not moderate as efficiently as I want them to. They also struggle with following my instructions.

So if you go to Nairaland looking for tribalism, you will find it in certain areas, just as you will if you search Twitter for tribalism, because of people whose main business online is tribal trolling.

However, I want Nairaland to be better than Twitter. I want to improve the consistency of moderation on Nairaland. For this reason, I am in the process of recruiting more people to help.

UncleKoboko:
I have six sisters.... So, you can imagine different kind of stories that must have happened.

So. I would have said the same thing.











But imagine if the girl was your sister or daughter.
Let's say she date him for 2-5 years and he was the one that disvirgined her, WOULD YOU SAY THIS?

haphizz57:
Hi nairalanders, pls i need ur sincere advice on this. Should i build my first house in my Home Town or in the City. I have land in the both side. Which one should i start first. Pls be mature no insult

Starzzy:
A recent circular was passed by the Central Bank of Nigeria regarding dealings in cryptocurrency. But reading it critically, one cannot really conclude that the ban on cryptocurrency has been lifted.

Please what is the import of the recent circular and it's effect on crypto dealings?

I went into the trading of crypto until the government decided to put a ban on it by prohibiting commercial banks from facilitating such transactions. Therefore, I had to abandon it totally and now I'm contemplating on resuming it.

Is it lifted and is it still profitable?

Lucian565:
Hello everyone i created this account to remain anonymous, I will go straight to the point, the issues is that i work in a Microfinance bank and we have not been payed, I feel like discussing it with my boss, but someone who asked for her salary was sacked, I love my job and I will like to keep the job, I do my job well and im quite good and successful at it, I got this offer alongside another offer but this one is closer to my house so i decided to take this, I don't know if there's something I can do and how to approach my boss and not offend her, although we didn't disburse any loan for sometimes now putting myself on the ownership view, we are running at loss already, but imagine celebrating Xmas without pay and new year is almost here without pay too, I feel if i can get an NGO to help fight the course and pay me and also for the opportunities I have missed, like 5 years salary because i believe we are being regulated and if we made excess profit we wont be paid more than our salary, my head just full, i didn't buy Xmas cloth neither sent money home for my son and my mom, I'm trobled by this even, i jusy dont know what to do.