Nia69: She doesn't give me space. You know who a clingy person is right?
Yes I know how clingy persons are, and I kind of like it about them to a certain degree. It's just that you're not being forthcoming about your actual closeness with your friend.
Since I was born till date, we Nigerians have always looked down on a lot of neighboring countries like Cameroon, Togo, Benin Republic etc. Well, you are not to be blamed if you are among those who look down on some of these countries, even when we have not had an opportunity to cross border.
Well I was one of those people who actually looked down on most of these countries until I had an opportunity to sail round west Africa and the narratives changed.
Meanwhile I was completely marvelled the first time I visited Cotonou, the business hub of Benin Republic about 4 years ago when Patrice Talon newly took office Two years after I re-visited, after touring round other west African countries. I spent 3 days here and without a waste of time, I concluded to relocate down to this place based on the level of development I saw, the security, serenity etc.
Finally I am now living here and I have no regret so far.
I will say this country is blessed with the best president who is working tirelessly to improve the living conditions of his beloved citizens and I am glad hearing citizens saying positive things about the president.
Things You Don't Know About Benin Republic...
*They have currently have one of the best roads/road network in west Africa * The maintain law and order * Security is good * Security personnels are friendly and don't intimidate anyone. If caught intimidating you, he or she will severely be punished " If you are caught in a robbery attack which involves gun, forget it, u are gun forever. * Electricity is 247. No low voltage or unecessarily interruptions. * Steady clean water supply by the government at an affordable rate * 247 transport system cos of good security * Night life is topnotch.. in fact their balling na night with street light almost every nook and cranny of the city. * Amazing beaches with super duper fun. * Nice Bilingual schools for your kids *Stress free movement without traffic jam. * Policemen scattered at every nook and cranny of the town to maintain law and order and not for stop and search. * Drugs are only bought or sold at a registered pharmacies and not from quacks or roadside vendors * Foreigners almost have same right with citizen and can't be treated anyhow *Women are like egg here. Any maltreatment or mistreatment, you will face the law. *Public school, go to sch by 7:30am and return home for break by 12noon and return back to school by 3pm to dismiss between 6-7pm Monday- Friday * You can choose to relocate from your rented apartment after a month or two cos of the privilege of monthly payment plan * Their money now more valuable than naira in black market *This is the only safe transit route coming from other African countries to Nigeria. Of course you should know how that helps an economy. *Internet is steady and fast but a bit expensive *Pepper body no common here like naija * ETC
Business Opportunities From My Findings So Far...
*Tailoring is a place to explore especially when you sew English wears and Nigerian attires * Sales of any kind of electronics which you can bring from Nigeria and Togo cos they are cheaper over there and expensive here. * Sales of second hand phones and laptops, not forgetting their accessories too. Very lucrative * Nigerian foods are in high demand especially areas where Nigerians live more. U go sell tire * Sales of sewing machines(more of manual)and it's accessories are in high demand cos this is their major skill work with hairdressing. * Phone and laptop repairs needs serious attention here cos most of the engineers are not competent enough * Sales of motor parts/bike parts. Both are very good biz here too. * Bilingual schools are still in high demand in some places including teachers. * Transportation biz- As a naija man, u will do better plying from border to town, if you are a smart. As an okada rider, concentrate around Tokpa, Misebo and Beach, you will be fine too. Those who are into okirika(2nd clothes, shoes & bags), it's still very profitable till date but you must have a good contact for you not to be cheated. Etc
Let me drop my pen here for now. I will be sharing some photos of the places I have been to like the beaches etc . So stay tuned as we will be dropping more information to give you a comprehensive info about the country generally.
scholarshipbaze: I work and trade crypto and forex, my girlfriend knows how much i earn, but because i have plans, i still live in a modern selfcon in an estate.
So tonight i asked my girlfriend whom i wish to marry, if she would be willing to marry me as i stay in this selfcon, even if i don't have money to rent 1bed room.
She said she can't, please what does this mean? Possibly not my class? Possibly might leave when things go bad?
Nia69: We've been friends since 2021. She acts clingy, I don't like it, but I've been enduring it so I won't hurt her feelings. I've told her more than twice, but she doesn't stop.
Hope you guys are good? Please can someone survive on a 10k weekly pay in this country? What prompted me to ask this question is because our last born…during my days in school,we survived on a 30k in Esut and this was allowance apart from foodstuffs and textbooks and this was just 2016. I use to take food stuffs when going back to school. But our last born (brother) who is still in 100 level can’t survive with 100k for a semester…. We do give him food stuffs and money for textbooks separately… He just called our mother that he is out of cash…dy no born am well to call me sha… me and my immediate young brother want to place him on a weekly pay instead of monthly/semester…..what do you guys think?
He's gotten himself involved in something that's suckling the money
Britishcoins: Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I am in confused state of mind right now... I am in my early 30. I am not super rich but I am financially comfortable, at least living in my own apartment and having a business that give me atleast 600k monthly. I am equally the first son and my parents are late, so I am like the head of the family to my younger ones... Age is no longer at my side and I have no reason why I am still single.. But there is a problem. I have plenty female admires.. Even some which was suggested for me through families and friends.. But only 2 of them I will talk abt now
Let me call one of them Judith and the other one IFEOMA. Judith is from from the same local government with me.. I knew her when she was still in secondary school and I was apprentice then... I don't even know what was called love then.. We only greet like brother and sisters because we are in far away north then. I have relocated to another state and she too is now undergraduate, studying nursing at uni zik Awka. I normally call her because I was in good term with her mother.. She feel in love with me. But my own fear is that I am not sure if she will understand the language of hardship. She was only Dauther and last born, the family is average comfortable. The only thing she always rely most is her beauty... She is so beautiful no wonder she just won a beauty queen competition, the sun newspaper even carry the news.. But her beauty is not what attracted me.. Last December I visited her parent with just one of my uncle and they welcomed us very well.. Another issue is that she still have abt 4 years to finish her education.. And I don't want to waste more than 2 years ahead.
Now let me talk abt IFEOMA. She is from Nsukka, very far from my local government. She is living with her sister here in the same state I am staying... She is 25 and years and Judith is 22 years. She is NCE holder.. Based on my findings so far she is good in business and came from a poor family too.. She is equally a virgin, I am very sure of it.. She not too beautiful but have showed her love to me... The problem is that I have no feelings for her.. But I love her hard working.. I am planning to invite Judith to spend some weeks with me to understand her characters.
Pls I don't know how to write more.. Which one should I marry?
No be we go follow you stay the house with them. Ask God and ask your Pastor.
sync: Dear Nairalanders, I’m in a dilemma and need your advice There’s this friend of mine who out of the blue contacted me last year October asking for a favor to come stay at my place a couple of days since she had an interview in Abuja. I allowed in her without hesitation since I thought it was just going to be a few days. Fortunately, she got the job.
When she got the job in October, she asked me to pls allow her stay for two months before getting her place. My people, it’s been five months already and she’s still not making any moves to get her own place.
The problem really is I am currently jobless. She doesn’t contribute anything to the house. I am responsible for our feeding, gas, electricity, everything! And I do not have money. The little money I have is from my generous elder sister who has been my helper since I lost my job. Weekends she sleeps all through while I clean the house. I also do all the cooking. She doesn’t cook.
I am a light sleeper so I get up at any slight movement. This lady gets up between 3 to 4 times every night to use the restroom thus keeping me awake all through the night. This really has a toll on me. During the day she goes to the restroom between 14 to 16 times. She doesn’t contribute to buy foodstuff but she eats 4 times a day
What have I gotten myself into. Please how do I politely ask her to leave without hurting her feelings and savaging the relationship I use to have with her. I am tired, depressed and jobless!
The information provided isn't enough to give you an advice on what to do. Are you guys sexually involved or have you ever been sexually involved?
Goodlady: He's not picking my calls cos I told him I wanted a car as val gift. I just told him how I had a busy schedule last week and I wasted lots of money oh tfare plus the stress in entering cabs. We were discussing and I mentioned I wish I had a car and we just talked normally. Since last Friday, I v been trying to reach him but he's not picking my phone. I called his friend to ask after him. He called back n told me he's going to check on me but he hasn't. Why is he acting like he doesn't care? Could my instinct be right that he's trying to run cos I mentioned I wanted car?
Selfishness/Self centeredness is a bad thing ooh, you've not even thought what if something untoward has happened to him.
GeorgWashinton: My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.
I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.
Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.
My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.
I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.
Zikonna: I need serious advice. I grew up an only child, raised by a single mum. My dad abandoned us as when I was a kid and few years later he died in an accident. My mum is the most important person in my life and I love and respect her. She is also a very religious woman and raised me so.
I am settled and ready to get married and I have met the woman I am sure is the one for me. My mum has met her once and although she had her reservations she wasn't opposed to it. But yesterday while going through my fiance's whatsapp status(bacause she has her number), she came across the picture below and because of it, she is now opposed to the marriage. According to her, she can't let her only child get married to a girl that wears bum shorts in public. She says "this sort of dressing is from the devil"
I have tried to explain to her that my girl isn't like that and she only wears clothes like that once in a while. My mum is still adamant. She wants me to end our relationship and find a "responsible woman"
I am currently torn between my mum and the woman I have decided to spend the rest of my life with. I am afraid that if I disobey my mother's instructions, it would lead to serious circumstances as she is also my spiritual mother.
I do not know what to do. Look at the picture below. I really don't see anything wrong. I cropped her face to maintain anonymity.
If the picture is the straw that broke the horses back then the challenge isn't from your fiance but your mum's perspective of the scriptures. Get the both of them to sit down together and talk.
My brother sickle cell is not childs play. You will have high BP. You will regret your decision of marrying and then the love for don clear comot for your eyes.
It can not work.
Don't bring children to suffer because of your own love and desperation to marry.
On health grounds it is not worth it.
In addition to this, do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers... except she's getting born again before you marry her
Supreme145: A job that I percievd as a miracle job is turning out to be a nightmare. I got a job in Lagos last December as a web designer for the firm with a pay of 150k. The job was supposed to be hybrid but since I couldn't afford relocation we agreed I work remotely pending when I will be able to relocate.
This is the end of fabuary and I haven't received a dime, the man has simply refused to pay me and from his body language he's not going to pay. I contacted the HR and she told me the man isn't responding to her messsages or calls about the payment matter.
He has stopped viewing my messages on WhatsApp or taking my calls too. The guys that referred me mentioned something about him treating the predecessor same way and adviced I take it as employment fraud and walk away from the job.
The issue is I've put efforts and resources into the job and I cant just let go of 300K like that. I've been borrowing to fuel my gen everyday to work and other expenses. My rent is expired and landlord had been on my neck to pay up. A lot of stuff is hinged on that money. It's been from one flimsy excuse to the other.
Please I need suggestions on how I can get my money from this man, I have my appointment letter and he's a lawyer.
Mods please help me push to front page so I can get wider contributions
EriMma1: This may sound weird but it's my situation now.
I have been a single and independent lady for a very long time. Though I really looked forward to settling down in my 20s and thirties but because I was the over careful type, I couldn't as I kept being picky due to men's character and behavior.
Fast-forward to my lat 30s, I began to lose interest and started getting more comfortable as a single. The upheavals in today's marriage also got to me. As in the way marriages are packing up, the cheating aspect, abuse and domestic violence in marriages all further affected me and changed my whole perception of the union called marriage. So I unconsciously resolved to remain single as long as I'm happy, comfortable and financially independent.
Some of the reasons I also made up my mind are. As a single, Im very much at peace, with no one dictating what and when I should do things or get out of bed. I love my bed. No one is body shaming me when I add on some pounds due to excessive eating and no one is questioning my eating habits as its sometimes the case with some married women. Also running errands when you don't feel up to it just because hubby wants you to do it. Some men can send their wife on errand like crazy and me I hate running errands.
No one is disturbing me when I need time alone which could last for hours. I love my space and privacy. So the thought of having to give up all that scares the hell out of me.
Now, back to the matter.
Recently, some close spiritual leaders in my denomination have been trying to match make me with a single pastor and that one too is shining teeth that he has seen a jimjim sister. When they now openly mentioned it yesterday with the said man around and he too was nodding and agreeing to the proposal, it dawned on me that these people are not joking. When I got home, i sank into my comfy space and began to fret. I mean... The thought of giving up all that freedom is just so scary. I suddenly discovered that marriage no longer excites me and my inner self was fighting it. Also, the thought of carrying pregnancy for nine months with all the stress of looking after babies, tending toddlers ( poo poo) and that motherhood life made me sick instantly. The thought of joggling my job with family life gave me the chills. I see how my married mates struggle with this. Huh. Men...
I don't know. I don't feel cool about this cos it makes me feel like I'm about to be put in a cage and everything about me is going to change.
Now, before you talk about me not loving the man, I think I fancy him and can love him cos he looks so much like my ex of years ago. So that is out of the question. He is a happening lovable man but....... I no longer feel excited about marriage. at least, from what played out yesterday.
Do I need any form of therapy cos my family won't hear of it but this is my situation now ooo... Hmmm
Wonderful writeup, but from your writing, it shows that though you spoke about being in your late 30s, you're still a teenager in your mind. Cos you don't seem to understand commitment, responsibility and accountability, above all you seem to still be very selfish and lack disciple in some aspects.
handsomeyitayo: Please what could someone call this? I didn't have razor blade close to me, neither sharp objects..and I slept on 3 seater lounge ..but I woke up now seeing this on my skin... please anyone experience this ...
Kobojunkie: Again... 1. The 10s of millions of Nigerian women still waiting after so many years, praying, how has been going for them? Why are you lot too desperate to recruit new prayer slaves but never stopping to ask how the queue keeps getting longer and longer on your prayer floors??
2. So, the man's addiction is not the problem, a boogeyman is instead to blame? Na so una dey trap women praying for year after year over rubbish while the world continues to move past them.
Clearly obvious is your character and personality revealed in your words.
Kobojunkie: 1. The 10s of millions of Nigerian women still waiting after so many years, praying, how has been going for them? Why are you lot too desperate to recruit new prayer slaves but never stopping to ask how queue keeps getting longer and longer on your prayer floors??
2. So, the man's addiction is not the problem, a boogeyman is instead to blame? Na so una dey trap women praying for year after year over rubbish while the world continues to move past them.
It's clear you have no idea on the subject matter so kindly move along without being insulting.
all4zionlover: Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home. He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food. This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep. I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.
All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad. I have no love, respect for him. I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me. I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry. I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father
My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.
Have you been in this kind of situation? What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?
Take it all to God in prayers, and you'll be glad you did. Your husband isn't the problem, neither is the habit, you need to address the one behind the scenes manipulating things against you and your family.
cassie0000: It's our elder brother that was clearly putting eyes in our Father's property Not me Before dad died he was struggling , but always wanted the flashy life , leaving above his means Immediately daddy died he wants to swallow everything daddy left behind I am building my life already for someone my age with no support I am trying unlike my brother when he was my age
It is my elder brother who is far older than me that choose To steal from his family By doing things not right so as to inherit everything daddy left behind that is looking for properties to build his life then put up a fake facade of being hard working Not knowing the dirty things he has done behind
Whatever notions you may deem fit in judging the matter as per being directly connected, is up to you and your level of Knowledge with understanding. But you should know that God doesn't see the matter the way you nor your brother views it. Just let go of all your resentment, bitterness and anger
Nairaland General › Re: How Do I Get Rid Of A Clingy Friend In A Polite Way? by DrDunamis(m): 3:47pm On Mar 08, 2023
