₦airaland Forum

Matrix137:
Dear Nairalanders, so I was born in Nigeria and have lived all my life in this country till this moment ( I'm 22 now). However, my aunt based in United States has offered to bring me to the country. Processing my documents already.

However I'm scared I may put me or her family in trouble when I get there cos America is a civilized country and I'm used to the crude ways and behaviors here which is already part of me and will likely replicate them in America which will surely put me in trouble with the law.

Behaviors like urination on the streets, throwing garbage on the road and many uncivilized behaviors too numerous to mention. So please how do I Behave myself over there. Thanks for reading.

Since your aunty is taking you she'll teach you dos and donts

emexnaija:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MERjyDu_uGU

Gold diggers everywhere.

Fineman2:
Story of the day;

Hello Omajuwa. I am an only child who is 42years old. My mother refused to remarry after my father died when I was young. She sacrificed so much for me to be where I am today. I got married about 7years ago. My wife and I have been looking upto God for a child. After pleading with my wife for us to adopt at least a child to no avail, I decided to get my mum who stays with us to help me speak to her woman to woman. But this made them become sworn enemies. My wife since then talks to my mother anyhow and disrespects her every now and then. It has been like that for months.

Few days ago, while returning from work, I heard their loud shouts from outside but I remained outside waiting for the shouts to be over as I didn’t want to be put in the position of choosing a side. But I had to intervene when I heard a loud slap. My wife had slapped my mother. I was enraged but I kept my cool, took my mother from the scene and catered for her. I have since not said a word to my wife.

All I feel when I am at home is sadness and depression. I have no peace in my own home. I have sacrificed a whole lot just to make this marriage work. The woman I married has become someone else. I have defended this same woman from my extended family for years. I have been labeled a ritualist and all sorts of name due to our childlessness but I have never cheated and I have always defended my wife despite knowing that she is the one with fertility issues.

Even though my mother has been trying to put up a strong front since that day, I know that she has been crying herself to sleep. I love my wife so much but I love my mum too. What could my mother have possibly done to warrant her slapping my mother? I think my wife is selfish and is no longer who I married. Why would she rather constantly inflict pain and sadness on her own family? I just want peace of mind and I have made up my mind to divorce my wife. But hope this won’t be a mistake? Is there still a marriage to save here? How do I go about it? What do I do? Please help me.

You're supposed to be flogged very well by the youths in your community. You're coming to type rubbish here without having taken necessary action. That slap that landed on your mum's face should have landed on yours.
You have the audacity to be talking about this issue like its a movie or joke.
I know I'd never find myself in this kind of position but never would I allow such dishonour.
The challenge is coming from YOU. Take yourself to your Pastor and report yourself.

officialwdhtv:
Lady introduces her new boyfriend to her husband & boyfriend

She seems to be in some kind of weird relationship.

Take a listen!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwpyVuzhbbU

Source:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CrZcjLchqI4/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

End time rubbish

Mrwhite09:
I am living like i dont have a working immune system, i fall sick regularly like every week. last week i was on malaria drugs and antibiotic, i havent finished it then again yesterday i fall sick again nd they inject me with another malaria drug and give me another antibiotic.

i am tired of taking these poisons i feel like they hv started affecting my liver, i am very vulnerable to viruses and bacterias whenever a person cough to my face the following day i will fall sick.

i dont have hiv as i did the test several times all negative, but i suspect i have cancer cux of the presence of a swollen lymph node on my neck. guys im truly tired and depressed i cant hustle normally because of my condition please if you know anything that can boost my immunity tell me. because of my condition i know a lots of antibiotics like cipro,amoxyl,doxycline,clarithromycin,azithromycin e.t.c i dont know why these doctors never get tired of prescribing these drugs to me. i live constanly with a stomach discomfort, fever, flu, colds nd catarh there is no any known ulcer meds that i hvnt take in my life but i am still thesame. its depressing me nd making me suicidal. i dont need money from anyone i just need help from people that went through thesame situation or people that know of a solution.

There was a time someone cough on me i spent complete 2weeks sick.

Life is spiritual.
What's your blood group and genotype?

mariahAngel:
One thing I like about these local snacks are their funny names.
Even some of the ones that appear on the list below, I have never heard of.
Which of them was/were your favourite(s)?

If the ones you enjoyed do not appear in the post, tell us the name and what it's made from in the comment section.
If you've never tasted any of these, you don't know what you're missing. 😌

All, especially coconut candy

mariahAngel:
One thing I like about these local snacks are their funny names.
Even some of the ones that appear on the list below, I have never heard of.
Which of them was/were your favourite(s)?

If the ones you enjoyed do not appear in the post, tell us the name and what it's made from in the comment section.
If you've never tasted any of these, you don't know what you're missing. 😌

All, especially coconut candy

THEbaddest007:
I am currently a student in one of the best federal University in Nigeria. My current cgpa is 4.63 and I got it without any form of malpractice aka expo. I achieved it with hardwork and dedication. I am not boasting in any way but I am trying to build the confidence of average students that they can get an excellent result without engaging in any form of malpractice or looking for short cut to pass. What they need to do is to work very hard and be fully dedicated to their studies. And lastly, school is not a scam because lots of great men have benefited from it. Great men like Peter obi, chukwuma soludo, wole soyinka, yemi osinbajo.

I pray you maintain the first class streak and graduate with it but a bit skeptic as your user name is not looking like that of one who is going to keep at it.

Lamanii22:
I think I’m the only one who doesn’t want to leave Nigeria lol, if everyone is talking about japa in my mind I would be like what are these ones saying 😏… I don’t even include it in my prayer points.


Other countries are fascinating as such but I don’t see myself residing there… I love Nigeria too much.

Funny enough I was talking about this same thing with a colleague earlier today.
Where are they rushing to?
No place like your own country.
And I've lived in Benin, been to Togo and Ghana too. But I love Nigeria

Icrave4u:
Let's welcome old school.
1975 Volkswagen.
Throw back !

Who can recall?

Tortoise car you mean abi beetle.

AllMight:
1. Toyin - She was my former classmate and friend back in school. She currently works in a bank as a CFC Agent. We met late last year during our school old student get together, we exchanged contact and kept in touch regularly. Our vibes have been good and encouraging. She had helped me very well many times since then. I'd say we are more than friends but ambigously because i haven't really asked her to be my girlfriend, though i have taken her out before on val day. Like i said, our relationship is ambigous. She doesn't have a boyfriend yet, but her mum is trying to matchmake her.

2. Sarah - Based in the States with her family for futher studies, though she's a Nigerian through her grandpa. We met early this year while playing game and since then we have become close that all her family know me. Her paternal uncle is one of my team sponsor here in Nigeria. Though this lady do give me green light steady, but because of Toyin who i haven't even get as my gf, i just laugh it off.

Honest advice please!

Go for as what?
You want to get married?
If no, then face front.

stopthecycle:
So my elder brother just got married to the Love of his Life. I got to know his wife's family about two months before they got married. The lady has a younger sister who is super attractive, intelligent and nice. We've been talking for a long time and got close and we really like each other.

But I feel we are doing something wrong. Is it okay to date my Sister in law? Some people keep telling g me it's a taboo. I need advice...

Brother how is it a taboo?
You'd better plan on marrying her and not doing away ungodly things otherwise you create family problems.

Sponty600:
Okay so around last year, exactly this time of the year. I don't know how possible but I observed that flies are following or are attracted to me.

At first it was very minor, I only see them in one or two places.

Fast forward into the last year, it started increasing. I see flies everywhere even in very clean places like churches or banks.
I doubt if its a hygiene problem, because I wear clean clothes and maintain personal hygiene. And plus they're dirty people in the society and none of them have never experienced this.

I have experienced this for a year now,despite trying to find a cure to it,it leaves me deeply confused anytime I think of it.

If anyone has experienced similar problem or has any suggestion, please let me hear.

Rebuke that demon of flies and it would shop.
Its an unclean spirit that causes that.
Use the name of Jesus and be free from your torment.

Pussykills:
I have come to the conclusion that I'm addicted to prostitutes. It started in 2010 when I first slept with a hooker. Its 13yrs now and I still patronise prostitutes. I slept with 155 of them, 55 were without protection.

The problem right now is that I don't have that much feelings for the new girl I'm dating. Since she's been in my life I have been able to stop but I noticed my soul still longs to experience that feeling of getting high and banging a hoxx.

In fact, I'm thinking if ending this relationship should be my next line of action.

This is not the first time, my past relationships ended because the feelings weren't there.

What would you suggest? Does sleeping with many partners make one loose the feeling of love? I don't get it, I can't even love, it's not just there.

You've got ungodly Spiritual ties.
Cut them off

ejitest1:
A married woman has expressed her desire to sleep with other men as she is now bored with her husband.

"Am maried but another preeq don dey hungry me, faithful maried women pis hw una take dy do am abeg, my husbnd no to get my time he no dy too last 4 bed but he's nice."

Foolishness gone on rampage, is she married for sex or there's something better

farous:
Please is there anything wrong that husband,wife and children all have and sleep separately in their respective rooms and bed.

Must husband and wife share same bed and room to define intimacy/closeness and bond between them or what can be called martal bed.

My parents had their separate rooms as well as the children. But as long as dad was home, she was with him in his room. Her room was my room. Only when he wasnt around she slept in her room sometimes.

Oluwashina72:
He studied anatomy did his I.T in a mortuary, but he wants to know if it is necessary he works there after school?
What other places can he work? Please help a brother thank you.

Do your masters and lecture.
Specialise and work as a forensic examiner.

GeorgeForeman:
I had to create a new account specifically for this post.

Today makes it 7 months my left with my kid.

I married my wife in feb 2021 in a low key ceremony.I have known my wife for years before get married to her as we lived in same compound.She is from Imo and I am from Enugu state.She is 23 and i am 26

We have a daughter together.Trouble began about 7 months after my daughter was born,my wife always complained i dont give her enough money for upkeep.I work as a security guard for a company earning 75k monthly.Out of that 75k,I remit 40k to her monthly for upkeep.She is a school teacher but i don't really know how much she earns.

Given the situation of things in the country,I know she may be right when she says the money i give her isn't enough but i am genuinely trying my best.it hasn't been easy.

Asides from her nagging about upkeep money,my wife is a good woman.She cooks and takes good care of our daughter.

Things got worse when the company i was working for folded up.I think the owner got involved in some shady deals and the company building and assests were confiscated.I was without a job for some time and we were surviving on my savings and and some menial jobs i was getting.

Times were hard.I opened up to my wife that i want to learn cctv And solar panel installation.I viewed this as a good skill to learn and have.I enrolled and i am an apprentice now learning alongside some other boys.

My wife couldn't bear any longer and she left with our kid without informing me.I have called her mom to beg.She said she will talk to her.I don't even know where she is though i heard she stays with her aunty.

I have begged her to return home to no avail.The issue is affecting me emotionally and mentally.I mean i'm already having a hard time trying to learn this skill,why should my wife add to it?

I really need the encouragement and warmth of my wife especially now i haven't been feeling fine for some time

One man's reason and excuse for quiting is another man's passion and motivation for getting result.
Ask yourself what you want to make off the situation, yes it's gonna be quite trying to do it without your wife being there, but grind and make progress.

Johnholt909:
My girlfriend called me but unfortunately another girl picked it up. She’s very angry with me right now and I feel so sorry about it.

Who is the other girl?
If you're innocent and guiltless then go visit, apologise and explain things.

BmAe:
During an introduction or let me say bride price negotiation and payment, the man will bring drinks, bring gift then carry his people down to his woman's house and then pay money for the wedding.

The question now is will he be the one to also pay for the food that the woman and her parents will cook when he and his people visit?

Will the man pay for the food or support since he is coming as a visitor with his people.

It depends on the people and customs. I think it's usually the brides family. Then ask the drinks the groom brings is kept for later use. Except the groom chooses to bring food and drinks too. And even though her family is handling the food and drinks, he could support financially.

BeStroNG:
Man got to be wary with the way things are. No man would want to marry a woman who had destroyed her womb via abortion. Some girls have committed more than 5 abortion and may have destroyed their womb in the process. Imagine getting married to such a lady. If the womb is intact and the man is fertile, pregnancy cannot be an issue.

I'm trying to take that bold step by asking her if she had committed abortion before.

What do you think guys? Is it going to bring "wahala"?

Should I ask her or not?

Ask, and ask firmly, ask to know everything.
You should be mature to handle the answer you'll get though. But ask, don't over look something like this.

CandidAdmin:
What are the advantages of learning a foreign language in the university and which language would you advise a person to learn?

Yoruba, igbo, hausa, izon, efik e.t.c
French, English, Spanish, mandarin, Hindi e.t.c

Obavoh:
Out of my 4 children, it is only the first born I buy clothes for and he passes it down to his younger ones once he outgrows them.

It saves me a lot of money s children clothes are expensive.

I bought few girl clothes for my only daughter but most times she wears her brothers clothes.

A lot of people say it is very bad and it will make her a tomboy. Please is this true?

With the wey satan dey take shuk LGBTQ for everything you sure say you wan give am leg for your pikin life too?

Seyiemath:
Part 2

While in the cell, 3 other guys were in the same cell, one of them claimed to be the presido or whatever. I was asked for “cell show” i never knew what cell show meant at that time, but man gats use brain. I told them I had it but it’s with the officers, promising to give all of it to them once I have access to it. Na so them free me o.

After some minutes I was called up, an officer came to open the cell. I was taken to room for questioning. The guy who was interrogating me showed me a pos machine, the same one i used in doing transactions in my street.

I knew I was been framed for something I had no idea, but I told them I’m not saying a word till I call my parents and get a lawyer. The officers refused and threaten to kill me ASAP.

Ah, when I heard kill I was humbled, I also saw a lot of badly injured guys who were left to die in some cells. Hmmmm Omo fear don Dey catch me already, I decided to talk, I told all I know and they were still asking me more questions that I barely have answers to. At this point it was clear that answering questions will not save me but make matters worst.

I decided not to say anything else regardless of what happens, I was taking back to my cell. One of my cell mate was called too but he did not return to the cell, I don’t know what really happened to him.

After some time, the police men came to my cell and I said I was been moved to there headquarters that was when I knew I was in a big mess


Typing…….

This is very nice, what's the name of the movie?
You could write this into a script and make a great movie.

luveu:
I hit this bush meat this night while driving back from work along lekki epe express way because of it big size I’ve to park, pull over to take it home. Pls what is it call, And how am I going to prepare this?

Same way you prepare cow or goat.
Roast over open flame and do the needful

Sticooooooo:
Normally I am a guy that really fancy women. I used to sleep with a lot of them. Although I have a very big pen:s, 7 inche. There's these two particular ladies that when ever I sleep with them I will notice some small bruises on my pen:s.

Yesterday I sleep with one of them, but before that she told me that she wasn't fine and she's on drugs. But as conji dey do me, I didn't listen I went ahead to fire, since I have gold circle.

In the process of inserting my thing in her I notice a whitish something on her pus;y unlike before, I didn't hesitate, I went straight.

After the do, I discovered that condom burst and I discovered bruises on my thing just as usual

Later I discovered that the drugs she was using is STD related drugs.

Please, which drugs can I use to neutralise the possible infection 😫?

Is it normal to experience bruises on a pen:s after sex and yet condom didn't burst or it burst?


Please help a brother fast

Go for test might be gonorrhoea

nicej2:
Dear Nairalanders, i am not really good posting my issues online. But this time i need your advise.

I have been married for 9 years now and my sister inlaw has been living with us( I, my wife and the kids) for the past 6 years now, although I am not always around.
I have never imagine any negative thoughts toward her. I always see her like my younger sister, i have been taken care of her. She is 28 years old and I can't really says if she have a boyfriend cos I haven't see one around her. She is a boss in her working place but yet i foots all her bills in the house without bothering anyone, including my wife that is also a boss .Until of recent she started wearing seductive clothes around the house, Some how i started developing feelings for her As if she knows, she continues wearing those clothes and started showing more caring towards me.
I can't believed that i am having feelings for my sister inlaw cos i am a disciplined man to the core. Even during university days girls do come to my apartment passed a night without molesting them. I am well brought up. But is like that disciplined man in me started degenerating as i began to see this girl in my dreams.
There was a night i returned from travelled, i started feeling the urge to go to her room. My wife almost cought me that night cos we lives in 3 bedroom, I have my own room, my wife have her own and my sister inlaw have her own room. So we sleep in separate rooms except some occasions my wife decided to stay in my room. That night i was pimping through her door. I have been trying to control my feelings and I believed the reason why I have not sleep with her is because i am not always around and I also the fear of traditions implications of sleeping with sister inlaw . And my wife is not helping matters, she can leave both of us alone in d house and go to all night church program and the children will be sleeping.

I don't really know what to do. Should I tell my wife so that we can get her accommodation or just let the sleeping dog be. Though I don't really want her to leave cos is my wife and the children are alone in the compound. I just want to kill that urge before I return from travel.

Sorry for the long episode ..😀

You're still very disciplined but you're being drawn aware by last.
Talk to your wife and then since getting her, her own place isn't an option you wife could just subtle talk to her to watch what she wears around cos eventually you'd end up doing what you don't want to do if you don't control it now.

EmiDon11:
I am addicted to energy drinks.

I take fearless, climax, predator, monster and so on.

Anytime i am weak, i regain strength by taking some.

And i am starting to believe that it might have some effects on my body system.

Pls what are the side effects?

Keep drinking until you go down with heart troubles in your middle to late 30s

Ijelenwanyioma:
I am pregnant and by special grace of God, I am expected to have my baby in 3 months time. The issue is that I don't want my mother to come for my omugwo. I am her only daughter but she hate me so much. At first I thought it is old age but she's just 60+ and I have seen older women treating their daughter right.

The last omugwo she came I saw hell, I gave birth on Monday and she came on Thursday. I had 3rd degree tear(that type that they will stitch from anus to vagina) I explained to her that I can't stand for long because of the pain. Meanwhile before she came, a woman from my husband place was taking care of me and she won't let me come down from bed except to eat, bath, breastfeed my baby and sleep. But when she saw my mum, she stopped coming. The woman already prepared soup and kept inside freezer on Wednesday before my mum arrived. It was that soup we ate till Sunday. On Sunday morning I asked my mum what we will eat and she told me to wait for people that are coming to visit us so I can send any of them to market and cook. Like how can I send my visitor message? So I waited for my husband and son to come back from church. I just took tea and also served her. My husband went to market and bought the things I needed to make stew. My baby was sleeping and I went inside kitchen to make stew. My mum sat down comfortably in the sitting room watching film and gisting with visitors that came to see me and my baby. I was in serious pain but I have to cook what me and everybody will eat. I served her the food after cooking and she gladly ate it. She's is neither sick or having pain anywhere.

My mother never cook anything in my house for 4 months till she left. The day I mentioned it to her. She started crying that she knows I hate her like my father. Like how? I even expected her to apologise and lie that she wasn't feeling fine that day. Among all her children, I give her more money but she always show me I am not important.

The problem is, even though this is my third child, I can barely take care of child under 1 month. Apart from cooking, my mum always makes me cry by telling me some very harsh word. She will force me to drink very hot water that I can't even pour on my skin. If I refuse to drink she will get angry and start her wahala again. I don't just want her to come to my house again for my mental health. O ti su mi 😭😭

This thing is quite simple na, the woman is old. While you're expecting her to come take care of you and the baby, she's coming to be taken care of, so just get someone who would do the care part.

Slizzords:
Good day familylanders, i consider this part of nairaland as a place with lots of reasonable and mature people so i would like to table my matter here.

Am a 27yr old guy and I have been dating this girl of mine for the past 3years now, she's 24yrs and we have been good, she works in a corporate organization and i also hustle for my daily bread too. I have been able to save a good amount of money, though i don't have tertiary education but have got a very sound mind.

Recently she brought up the issue of marriage and asked me when i intend to come and do the needful, i have met her mom and siblings on a few occasions and the vibes i got from them looks positive. I know she loves me and i also share the same affections for her.

The issue is i don't know if i should relocate abroad with the funds at my disposal because of the situation of this country or remain in naija and proceed with marriage with her.

Discuss with her and do both.
If she's working you said, she's got cash somewhere saved.
Don't do a lavished budget wedding. Do something within your means and plan to leave with her after the wedding.

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

Lovely movie, what's the title?
If this is real then I'm wondering how some persons get themselves into this kind of situation. It's simple, why are you looking for validation from them?
Focus on your family and build your home strong and see if they will not respect and fear you.

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

Kindly seek counsel from your Pastor as these complaints are very correctable.