₦airaland Forum

Nataliace:
I'm married for twelve years now and my marriage is blessed with two kids all boys, 11 and 9 respectively. Our marriage was also blessed with peace until I discovered my husband dates girls.

The one that pains me most is dating a neighbor who has been my enemy since we relocated to that settlement. My husband has side chicks too numerous to mention and I tried to talk to him but he refused. I left him and went back to my parents house thinking that will make him change and to come and apologize, to my greatest surprise he didn't make a move of putting things in order.

The worst is that the girl in the neighborhood is now living with him sleeping in our Matrimonial bed doing all the house chores and taking my children to school.

I came back and apologized to my husband but he said it's over between us. I love my husband so much that I can't afford to lose him. What should I have done? I expressed my grief of being hurt but it bounced back negatively.

Please advise me on how to restore my marriage.

Divorce.

He's unrepentant and broke his vows. May karma come to him.
Or did you mess up in the marriage?

dhiqson:

Look at the ****** above me
Women will always support their own
The sisterhood so strongggg

Now let's get down to business.

The lady disrespecting him Is not abuse?
Or you didn't read the first part of what happened?
How on earth can't you deduce she's just a vile creature that wants to have things her way!!?
Ohh i know why!
Emotions!!!! The dominate feature of every woman
I don't expect You to understand what the gentle man meant by saying "she should be thankful for the bf"

I expect you to think " you're the exception to the rule"

you talk as if men don't have emotions too. Emotions are not a bad thing, they just are.

Silentgroper:
another misuse of the word INCEL ..


what's with Some folks with misuse of some words..


Na by force to sound woke...


😖😖😖

is there any good connotation to the word INCEL?

whitejs:
What I am saying is,
Only girls who have a child for a man they are not married to are called baby mamas.
Divorcees or widows are single mothers.

but men and society still looks down on them and treats them like second class citizens.

Besides the terms are used interchangeably.

Why do men leave?

Doolove:
Nairaland Has Finally Ruined My Relationship

I've been dating a staunch Nairalander for two years, and he also introduced me to the site. While I visit once in a while, he can't go a day without scrolling through the site and at times he draws my attention to some interesting topics and we would go through the comments together. I told him that I don't like the site due to the constant bashing of women that goes on here. To my uttermost dismay he has been so influenced by the red pill movement and it has left our relationship in tatters.

I can't remember the last time I felt pampered or got treated like a woman because he doesn't want to look like a simp. There is no love in the relationship anymore because he is always too hard on me and treats me like a man. My guy hardly ever apologizes to me, if he annoys me and I try to give him the cold shoulder he ignores me completely and moves about his business like I don't even exist. He calls my two exs simps because I gisted him about how they adored me and was always scared of losing me. It hurts me that the guy I am dating doesn't value me and is ready to move on immediately as I walk out the door.

He convinced me to come stay over at his place for a while because he wanted to train me for a remote job that he got for me which I am supposed to start next month. I objected because I know how he treats me each time that I am around but he insisted so I caved in. It's been one problem to the other since I came over. He faults every single thing that I do, I wore a cloth that a guy gifted me on our anniversary and I got the scolding of my life. I got moody and told him to avoid me when he tried talking to me later that day, he simply said okay and disappeared from the house till late in the night.

He sees everything as an insult to his person, he said it's disrespectful to pick calls from guys in his presence, he would still accuse me of cheating if I go outside to pick those calls. Just two days back I was angry at him because of something he did that I didn't like so I flung his hands away when he tried to touch my cheeks and play with me, Oga stood up and started ignoring me. I was just expecting him to apologize and pamper me but he just locked up and left the house to God knows where. When he returned, I dressed up to go out with a friend and he told me not to return to his house if I leave. He treats me like a piece of furniture and won't still let me go out with people that are ready to give me attention.

This issue is making me lose my feelings for him and he doesn't even care. We hardly have sex because his touch irritates me due to his attitude towards me. If I turn down his advance once he doesn't bother to try again for days. In my previous relationships the guys always comes crawling and begging at night to have sex but this one doesn't even send, he can lock up for two weeks which makes me wonder if he is gay sometimes. He came back home very late on Friday night because he was avoiding me, I hid the food in the house because I was angry at him and he went to bed hungry. He woke up late at night to boil potatoes and woke me up in the process, I told him where I kept the food and he told me to eat it alone.

He left home by 7am yesterday for his football training only to come back by 10pm leaving me all alone in the house. I had to go out with a friend only to come back and didn't still meet him at home. He came back, took his bath and left the house again. He came back one hour later and slept on the floor. I woke him up to eat because I cooked with the money he left at home and he rejected the food citing the previous incident of me hiding food from him so I should continue cooking and eating alone. I told him that the food would waste because I already enjoyed where I went to. He just said I was disturbing him and should have gone home with the guy instead. He keeps making me feel like I am not wanted, he would tell me that he has the right to do whatever he wants because it his house but I must abide by his rules because I am a woman. He can go out and come back anytime he likes but I can't do the same, if I try it he would ask me to leave as if I am an IDP. All my complaints about how bad he was treating me fell on deaf ears, he just ignored me and slept off. He woke up this morning and is keeping to himself.

Please is this what the red pill is all about? I keep craving attention and love from my man and it's not forthcoming, I would have broken up but I really need the job he promised me while I wait for service. Is there something that I can do to salvage this relationship?
Please I am sorry for the epistle and errors, I just needed to pour out my heart somewhere.

What are you benefiting from this relationship. Bounce and find someone who will treat you right. There are 4 billion men in this world. How are you hung up on an Incel?

Emaprince:
So Samuel died because of heart attack as a result of his hate for women? Haha..
And tate in prison? Which prison? Just for preaching the truth?

You are pushing gaslighting to a new level.

Onething that is very obvious is that women hates truth. You will gaslight and call names to any man that speaks any truth about your gender without trying to prove him wrong. Well, cos you can't prove him wrong.

There is nothing like lonely frustrated men. What we have are broke frustrated men. Any man that wants sex can get it any where. Money is the only thing that can leave a man frustrated. However, we have a lot of lonely frustrate women...and these are the ones feminists targets to spread their hate and win more women to their coven. A man can't go frustrated for not having a woman. A woman can be depressed not having men giving her attention. We are different.

To think that the bolded is coming from a gender that hates accountability more than anything..smh

if having the last word is that important to you go ahead. Afterall it's your gender that is more likely to die alone.

Emaprince:
This woman you are very good in vomiting trash.

So women don't get sexually frustrated abi? Why do women complain of lack of sex or lack of good sex?

Women give out sex cos they need it too...and the women we have now are more sex hungry than men sef. Women that hardly demand for condom during se.x,. But you want to pin it on men

So when men speak facts that doesn't sit well with you, they are incels or redpillars. I see you included those podcasts that educate young men on how to behave around women. Because you want men to continue to be foolish around women.

You took gaslighting to a new level. Smh

those redpillers with podcasts and platforms mix in a few truths with a few lies and market it to lonely men to gobble up hook line and sinker. Isn't Andrew tate in prison? Didn't Kelvin Samuel's die of a heart attack while having sex with the kind of woman he was always bashing? It's good business to tell lonely frustrated men to point fingers at anyone but themselves. It is easier to blame the women for rejecting the men than to do introspection and improve.

Women don't go commit crime, do rituals, kill, harass,rape, kidnap the opposite sex if they are sexually frustrated or of they are called ugly, broke or a gold digger. That's the difference. She does what she needs to do to get what she wants.

Fearcom:
Why are you deceiving yourself

SINCE YOUR ATTENTION AND COMPREHENSION SPAN IS SHORT, THE 2 SCRIPTURES YOU QUOTED DOES NOT GIVE YOU A PASS TO UNLEASH "SHEGE PRO MAX" ON YOUR PARENTS

YOU ARE TO FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS AND HONOUR THEM. (I have already given you scriptures for this)

God won't force you, but YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.


Why are you triggered and angry at what the Bible says And your use of foul language plainly reveals worlds of information to me. You had better repent and rid yourself of all anger, unforgiveness and resentment so you don't end up in hell

yinmu.

Your retirement insuranceschildren are wising up. If you be a deadbeat parent. A word of caution is enough. The Bible never said we should act like mother Theresa to deadbeat parents. Honoring someone doesn't mean they should step on your head and make inappropiate demands,nor act entitled to their children's wealth

whitejs:
yes ma

they are single mothers outside of marriage

so you are implying that there are also single mothers in marriage.

babajero:
Ladies please stop opening your legs and get a job.

Yes. Let everybody mastürbate and face their lives.

[quote author=whitejs post=128115167][/quote]thanks for the correction, Baby mamas are single mothers.

todugo:
Me na Baby mama I go get. Marriage is a vow and a commitment. It's not a must that everyone will marry.
People don't know the blessing and freedom that comes from being single or single with a child.

Exactly, making a woman a baby mama is a way for an irresponsible man to avoid responsibility for his decisions. Especially as he can leave her and the child at anytime, especially once the novelty of being a father from afar wears off and he meets a new woman or becomes broke or things become tough.

YorubaRonu01:
Hahaha, footing bills not an advantage in today's Nigeria? Be joking!
If the bolded above is the kind of men you have been meeting, then it's quite unfortunate, very unfortunate!!
It's either you have never met classical men or a clear case of "birds of a feather flock together"!

I fully understand that footing the bills is not easy. Nobody said it was beans.

You can express your opinions without acting so triggered and stooping to the level of passive-aggressive, thinly veiled insults in red. Speaks a lot about your character.

On to the topic at hand, In Tinubu's economy, it is hard for average nigerian man to foot his bills without a contribution of his spouse, (his parents, his destiny helper or resorting to crime). Let's face it. Being average is not a curse, it is not a bad thing. Average people will marry average people and will continue to do so.

Very few men can foot 100%of the bills with a nearly worthless currency and crippling inflation with rising costs of living. If the woman now has to chip in to help, what extra thing is the man bringing to the table to make up for these defienciencies?

CoolJulian:
Sorry, you are one of the people causing problem in our society.

How?

Emaprince:
..

I am only speaking for myself.

maasoap:
I wonder where all this is coming from


You made it look like ladies willingly choose to be baby mamas, lol. It is usually about the relationships that went south after pregnancy. Most baby mamas would settle down if they have opportunity either with the fathers of their babies or another men who are ready to marry them. Go on Facebook and see them there, they plenty pass sand looking for men to settle down with. Many of them don't even mind becoming second wife

In a way, every lady has a choice but yes things go out of control. But that's life. The only sure way to never be a baby mama is to never have kids. Even marriage can't prevent that. The man may die, or become jobless, or get in an accident and become disabled. In those cases she has become a married single mother.

DDayve:
The essence of relationship is to know more about each other and to find out if both of you are compatible. Sometimes, while in the process the lady decides to play a fast one by becoming pregnant, thinking that it would hook the man. Now, you may ask, why didn't the man use condom? A woman that wants to hook will refuse condom telling you not to worry, that everything is in control.

Lemme tell you the truth, If you both of you ain't compatible, and you force it, there will be no happiness in the union. Fact!

a man should run from a woman who insists on going raw when he is not interested in settling with her. Children are expensive.

Emaprince:
Can you survive without men in your life?

It's easy to come online to yap nonsense, but in real life, you are wearing make ups and fake wigs and nails just so men can notice you.

I am doing so, with the help of Jesus Christ.

I wear makeup because it's fun to experiment with pretty colors on my face. It helps me look put together at work and patient treat me with more respect with it on. I also get nice compliments from my coworkers especially the female ones.

I wear fake wigs because my natural hair is in the teeny weeny afro stage. It's just between 5-7inches long and the wig is a method of protective styling for my hair that doesn't cause it to itch.

As for the nails, my work will be inconvenient with it. So I only fix them on rare occasions like my birthday or during paid leave. I don't like the sensation of putting gloves on with nails especially to do something like looking at a person's anus, a man's penis, a woman's vagina, a festering wound, a hemorrhoid, a hernia and so on.

God this work is disgusting.

LordIsaac:
Except it is a forced sexual activity, all women are the gate keepers of the means to birth children!

I agree.

Do you follow the ROE V WADE issue happening in the US and it's consequences?

If a woman has a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, pregnancy for a child with development abnormalities,a blighted ovum, hydratidiform mole, a polyp or any growth in her womb that needs an evacuation.
She has to present herself to a council full of men who will decide whether her life is more valuable than what is happening in her womb or not?

https://www.britannica.com/event/Roe-v-Wade

https://apnews.com/article/ohio-miscarriage-prosecution-brittany-watts-b8090abfb5994b8a23457b80cf3f27ce

So I predict that a lot of women will be more selective of who they have sex with, if they will risk having sex at all after all the people who made this law say that abstinence is the best form of contraception(which is true). Women not having sex with men means men would get less.. We all know what happens in a society with idle, low achieving, sexually frustrated men, they become violent incels, rapists, redpillers with podcasts and nairaland threads, school shooters or in nigeria's case enter boko haram to kidnap school girls and communities' women to have "wives".

Many more women will opt to not have children. Many will seek for tubal ligation so she will never ever get pregnant, in the west.

Iamzik:
Man don show this one shege
Men una Wicked sha

Not necessarily. I'm just very observant. I only need to learn from people I encounter daily and look before jumping. Getting with the wrong man can destroy a woman with a bright future

Men have done women shege pro max and vice versa.

beardedboy:
So.much internal inconsistency in your comment.

Please point out the inconsistencies!

Emaprince:
Says the person that will commit suicide if men stop noticing her. Lol

Your delusion needs psychiatric evaluation.

Fearcom:
YOU have ERRED GREATLY!

If God had the same mindset about you, you'll be long dead. Do you think it's by your righteousness that you live and breathe or it's by HIS mercy, long-suffering and goodness toward you?

1. FIRSTLY, WE ALL DON'T DESERVE GOD'S LOVE and FORGIVENESS. WHY? BECAUSE WE ARE all FILTHY
The Bible says all our righteousness are like filthy rags
(Isa 64:6)

So there's NONE RIGHTEOUS.
Rom 3:10

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 53:6 KJV

2. INSPITE OF OURSELVES, GOD STILL LOVED US
What is man, that thou art mindful of him?
Psalm 8:4 KJV
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8 KJV
For God so loved the world....
John 3:16 KJV


God loved us while we were yet unlovely!
sinners! ungodly! filthy!

Now God commands ALL his children to walk in love. We are to love people the SAME WAY and with the SAME KIND OF LOVE that he loved us. And that love includes FORGIVENESS.It is by walking in love toward one another that people will know


By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
John 13:35 KJV
If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
Proverbs 25:21
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, LOVE your enemies, BLESS THEM that curse you, DO GOOD to them that hate you, and PRAY for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:43‭-‬44 KJV.

I can give you more than enough scriptures, but I don't have the time.
But the message I'm passing across is CLEAR. THE OP HAS NO JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER TO HATE HIS FATHER.

what kind of gaslighting, offpoint bullsh!t is this. You typed an essay without saying anything in relation to the topic. The scripture is clear. Actions have consequences. I used 2 scriptures to back up my point. You only used one.I

Fvck around and find out season is here for many deadbeat, narcissistic and abusive parents. Winter is here for a lot of you and SHEGE PRO MAX will be unleashed. OP has every right to hate her deadbeat dad. Hate, disinterest and dislike are valid emotions.

Children of nowadays are no longer gullible to be deceived by your tithe extorting pastors.

Fearcom:
Honour your Father and your Mother, that it may BE WELL WITH YOU and that you may LIVE LONG on the earth.
It doesn't say honour your father and your mother only if they have done their duty.

The same Bible in Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” where did Op's father do that?

while Colossians 3:21 reiterates “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

The father has completely discouraged op, if he dies in a dishonorable way, he had it coming

Akhaz024:
I read everything
Irrespective of what his father has done he should honor him.

And please don't reply me, I am only talking to Op, I am only talking to OP he is the only that should reply me please.

Thunder fire you and your honor there!!


Honor is for diligent men, not infidels.

Mercylike:
Growing up with my family, I grew up not liking my dad but liking my mother so much that I can go to the extreme for her. It all started like this;

While we were growing, my dad having like 2 wives never really cared about us. Not even our steps siblings who are older than us. Their own even worse, they struggled and worked hard to get what the want with little or no help from our dad. Except for 1 or 2 out of 7 of them, the rest stopped at secondary school (public). My dad had no intention of being responsible for them.

Back to myself and my brother which are the only kids my mom gave my dad, he never still feels responsible.

Throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary years, I can't pinpoint one time that my dad bought sandal, cloth or anything for us. The only drug my dad has ever bought for us when we are seriously sick is paracetamol, even if we have serious sickness, he doesn't care. All he does is to call my mother to come take care of us (my mother doesn't stay fully with us because it won't even be convenient in such house with step mom but whenever she comes, she could spend a week).

Infact he was un-interested in sending us to school but thanks to my MOTHER. Though she didn't read well as she stopped as primary 5 or so but she said that she vow that she will train her children to school if they are ready to learn. Myself and my bro were ready to learn and my mom entered debts just to make sure we go to school. I could remember giving up when I gained admission, my dad already told us that he didn't send us to go to school ooo. I didn't know how my mother did it, she came home and gave me the acceptance fee and school fees with some other money. ( I cried before and after the incident, I don't know how this woman got this money but I'm sure she took loan).

Sometimes our step mom gets jealous thinking it was my dad that was doing those efforts for us but never did she know that all was my mom. I won't deny, dad contributed little but it was by force, begging his friends to plead to him to pay part of our school fee and all. But he is always boisterous of the fact that his sons are in school and all which angers me to see him boast with me especially.

Till now, I still don't feel responsible for my dad well-being. I have tried adjusting myself to loving him well but I can't. I just like him and respect him as a father but for my mom, I will do anything for her. I will go hungry for her, I will starve for her.

Nairalanders, it's being like 3 or 4 years I went to see my dad even though his place is not too far from me. He has been calling me several times that he wants to see me but I have always told him that I don't have time.

My problem is, my dad has never changed.. He is always concerned about himself, all he ask is money. He hardly calls to check up, except when he need money.
Since I started working, I have never defaulted in sending him money every month but I send my mother 3 times or even 4 times what I send my dad. After all, he has our step brothers and sisters he can always ask for money. So I don't really care about him.

One statement he usually makes since we were small "Go and meet your mother". He doesn't feel responsible for our needs, all na our mother.
Though he gives us daily feeding while we were growing and living under him but thanks to my mother that pays food vendors around to give us food whenever we are hungry because my dad doesn't give us enough.


Many stories but I can't say all...

Nairalanders, I still feel guilty as to why I don't like him. It feels like I have not forgiven him but to be honest, I have no issue with him.

How can I free myself from this guilt?

you are justified to feel this way. Your feelings are valid. Honestly you should just be the karma that deals with him. It is not by force to like him because he didn't invest in you financially, physically and emotionally. Your mother was a married single mum as far as I am concerned.

Tell him your true feelings empty it out of your chest the nexttime he dares to ask you for money. Tell him to meet the many wives he has to assist him. Tell him that he wasted his youth in women, bad habits and beer parlor and what does he have to show for it?

It's the backwards African mentality that is making you feel guilt allowing your dad to guilt trip you to reap where he sowed poorly. Continue doing the bare minimum for him that you think you can. Just enough to keep him alive.

When I think about men like your dad. I just get angry. As the eldest child, I saw what both my parents sacrificed to train my siblings and I to adulthood.

ace1:
Good day fam,

I need advice. I want to get a new mattress but Making a decision is a problem. Experts in the House please help. Below are my options:
1) Vitafoam Haven 6 x 4.5; 10inch - 54,000
2) Vitafoam Grand 6 x 6; 10inch - 55,000
3) Mouka Mondeo 6 x 6; 10 inch - 58,000

I’m want something durable. I weigh about 85kg and I’m also trying to put an additional person into consideration (just Incase Friends visit). Which of the above will you advice I get?

with your weight and another person, get a semi orthopedic mattress. Close eye and get money to buy it. Whatever you do, never buy mouka foam

Mindlog:
And which Nigerian court will grant a baby daddy, the sole custody of the child he had with his baby mama?

If the baby mama doesn't want it nkor.

Rich4god:
Let me just add this one...

What do you as a lady stand to gain from being a baby mama. A guy who is out looking for a baby mama is likely going to try to claim the child for himself.

If the guy didn't marry you, after providing child support to you, you expect him to leave the child and move on? He will likely want to draw the child to be his own at his adult stage.
What then is in for the ladies who opt to be baby mamas.

Some ladies are feeling like because they are getting child support money monthly from the man, so they just relax and enjoy their self. They won't or may not be able to develop their self for the future. So when the child support stops, they can no long afford the basic needs of life.... this make them to resort to doing all sort of things just to survive.
Most of all these baby mamas you are seeing online or around you, are probably regretting their actions.

Ladies, don't fall victim to the charms of men... If you are not good enough to be his wife, then don't be a baby mama for him.

Stay away from pre-marital sex
Stay away from pregnancy before marriage.
The life you see all these baby mamas enjoying now, later on they will be full of regrets.

Simple.
Women want to have children without the wahala of MEN.
Do you know how difficult it is to live with the average nigerian man? Firstly, A woman life is in danger when she encounters🍆, and everything 🍆 brings.

The average nigerian man cannot look after himself and need s a woman to do so for him. He is dirty and messy.. He has the potential to be physically abusive, unfaithful, small minded with a big and fragile ego. and the most annoying thing is she now has to be subservient to him in the institution called marriage. Her major benefit is that he foots the bills which isn't so much of an advantage today.

Now if she is offered the deal to have a child that is biologically hers without all the stress outlined above, and a stipend to boot? It is hard for some caliber of ladies to resist such temptation.

CareerBegger:
Is there something wrong with our society that we are trying to shy away from. What is it with the spike in increase in single-motherhood of recent?

Is there a part of our culture, the "internet - culture" that is promoting it? Is it that no one is seeing the evil that will come out of all these single motherhood? Not only the effect on there social well-being, survival and morals... But the kids too.

Why is no one saying anything about these single-mother Pandemic

For every single mother, there is either a dead father or a deadbeat dad. So please good men should talk to their fellow men and the trend will change for the better.

MrsAminaBello:
been long I heard from him though

He's doing well.
We've both been busy.

Jewessgratitud3:
I suffer severe menstrual cramps and it's really taking a tow on me. Like I no longer look forward to having my menses because of the pain and discomfort that comes with it.

The only thing that stops the cramps is felvin but it makes the flow three times heavier than normal to the point that I'll start feeling dizzy. The last one scared me cos after taking felvin, on the second day I was changing diaper every 5 mins. (Yes I use diaper cos pad no longer holds my flow. ) At a point I stood up and it's as if the whole blood in my system gushed out and I nearly passed out. So I said I wasn't going to use felvin again.

Now, I didn't use felvin this time and the flow is normal but I've been crying from pain since yesterday. It's like labor pain and im tempted to take felvin but when I remember what happened the last time, I'll ditch the idea.

Please what can I use to stop the pain that will not increase the flow? Please help with remedies that work.

mefanamic acid tablets.
Works for the pain and reduces the flow by 25%.

I don't know if chemists give sell it like normal drugs or you need a doctor's prescription for it.

Also if you have painful cramps and heavy bleeding consider going for a scan to check if everything is okay down there. Let them rule out fibroids at least.