₦airaland Forum

Cooolme:
I have a stepsister living abroad, the daughter of my mom. She's been there since childhood, raised by her father, and has become independent.

Despite the physical distance, she has been supportive, particularly to my mom. Although she occasionally sends money to my mom, it's never quite enough for her.

I share a unique bond with her; we've always been close, even during her visit. The last time she sent me money was during my 100 level when things were tough. However, my focus shifted from financial help to maintaining a connection with her.

Recently, I noticed a change. Since July, she has been snubbing my messages, a puzzling behavior considering I don't seek financial assistance. I've made it a point to check on her regularly, something she mentioned our mom doesn't do. At my level now if she needs money I can even send for her but her recent attitude has totally changed my mind towards her. I'm contemplating blocking her and ending contact, as it seems that's what she wants.

It's a challenging situation, and I'm curious if anyone here has experienced anything similar.

is she still alive?

Is she depressed?

Is she in a new relationship?

Jewessgratitud3:
I just thought to share and again it's no bodys business what I share about myself here. I chose to do it and don't care if it sits well with anyone or not. My life, my share .

I'm sharing this just to let some ladies know that being a widower doesn't break a man and will not stop him from being an unrepentant cheat if he wants to. I used to think a widower will be more responsible and loyal to one woman considering the fact that he's now a second hand value bachelor and the death of his former wife will make him get closer and more committed to his spouse, home and family at large but I was wrong cos after my experience with one, I realized men will always be cheat men.

This happened in 2013 after staying away from relationships for a long time. So I joined Badoo ( it was the rave then, though I joined in 2012). A young man ( in his 40s then) chatted me up and I checked his profile. There he stated that he was looking for a lady for serious relationship and added he was a Christian. He was also looking very handsome and tall. We chatted and exchanged numbers.

When we got talking he told me he was a widower. It was hard to believe because he looked very young. He now told me he married very early. He went ahead and told me he has 6 children 👀👀👀. I didn't believe until he showed me their pics. 4 girls and two boys. He said the wife kept having children because she wanted a male child and died after giving birth to the last child, a male. She got home from the hospital after childbirth and started bleeding immediately and was rushed back to the hospital but never made it back. Meanwhile he was not in the country when this happened.

This made me have compassion and developed feelings for him. After a few months of inviting me over, I finally agreed to visit after he assured me the elder sister is staying with him to look after the baby ( he was already a year then but was not walking). He never liked the boy because he was always saying the boy caused his wifes death and each time the baby boy sees him, he'll be screaming due to the way he looks at the baby and I'll be telling him to stop, teasing him that it's him the boy resembles. So when I visited for the first time, I was shocked at what I saw. He actually owns the house he was living in in Sango. He built it when the going was good but after the wife's death, he came back and stayed for a whole year without a job. He just got the job he was doing as a hotel manager when I met him and his take home was not good at all. So to maintain the big house was a challenge. He could barely feed his kids. Even the two older ones were not with him. They were living with his brother just to ease him of the burden. when the sister saw me, she got angry and told him that he has not finished taking care of his children he's bringing in another lady. He told me to ignore the sister and face him. If I go there, I'll cook and serve everybody because he was always complaining of not having money but sometimes he'll give me part of the money I used.

Initially the children didn't like me and he said I should be buying them snacks. So then if I close from work, I'll go and meet him at his office and we'll go home together. I bought snacks and the children reluctantly collected the snacks. He went to work on that Saturday and I gathered the children and started telling them stories. They began to come close. When he got back he drove all of us to a football viewing center and bought me pepper soup. I thought I had found the right man. I was even saying I don't need to birth any children since he already has six. We'll just stay with his own children ( lol . small girl sense). He would tell me no, that he wants me to give him a beautiful daughter like me.

Six months into the relationship, I noticed something in his room while he was away at work. I saw a foreign prison card in his jacket I now began to connect the dots. I remembered him saying he was away when the wife died and while she was pregnant, he had problem abroad. So she developed BP. He even told me he wasn't around when his house was built that the wife supervised the whole thing before he now had a problem but be never told me what the problem was. I then discovered with the prison card, he was prolly in jail all that time. I didn't ask him anything.

Later he started telling me there's this single mother that has been begging him to marry her and she buys him stuff. I was like marry her now afterall two of una na second hand value. He'll laugh and say God forbid. That he wants chassis. The lady buys him and his children stuff. At a point I told him to stop collecting the gift or risk our relationship. He promised to stop.

One day he was sleeping and i was just going through his phone ( I never used to do that) and saw "my love". My head sparked. I woke him up with a heavy slap and showed him, he started saying its you I love. I said no! Tell me who this Is.. then I began to cry because I just knew it was over. He started begging and called his Aunty into the room. The aunty said the person is a family. I said call her. He now called the number and an elderly woman picked and he started telling her that I'm crying my eyes out here because I saw a message he sent to her. The woman spoke with me but I wasn't convinced. Throughout that night, he played "please forgive me' Brian Adams. hmm.. feeling nostalgic now. I calmed down and we continued.


After some months my chairman sacked me because I refused to go out with him and told him I'm in a relationship. After I lost my job I reduced my visits because bus fare from mainland to Sango was quite expensive and he too could not sponsor my visits regularly due to so much financial responsibilities and since I had been the one doing it when I was working. It became a once in a while thing.

Then one day, he told me to come to his office let's go home that he has missed me. I asked him, do you have money he said we'll manage. This man did not tell me we were going by train ( chai things we do for love) from his office we set out to oshodi. This man put head for train lane. I said waaaat t... I almost went back but it was already getting dark. I entered train for the first time. See me shaking. He had to hold me before one man now stood up for me to sit. Because it's been a while I've been to the house, when we got home, the aunty said you'll not stay in one place. Today you carry this, tomorrow you carry another one. I told him what the sister said and he told me not to mind her. In my mind i was like... see this second wen I dey manage too wan dey play ... I kept asking until he now confessed that the Aunt was referring to the other single mother that the lady has been forcing herself on him but it's me he wants. There and then I zeroed my mind.

After that visit, as we were going that morning, we quarreled on the way because the vehicle we borded got spoilt plus I wasn't happy after hearing what the sister said. So I was just edgy that morning and blasted the driver and some of the passengers. He got angry and left after trying to get me off the bus and I refused, saying I should run after him cos he's running late for work. I was just looking at him. I didn't get down. I waited for him to go far, I now got down and took another route to my house.

I didn't call for a week and refused to pick his calls because whats the point killing myself over a widower with six children who has refused to stick with one woman. When I eventually picked, it was my guy ( now ex) who told me to pick in the bus that day we were going to camp and he was chyking me. Oga kept calling and as usual I ignored him but the sound was disturbing our conversation so my gy told me to pick and hear him out. I picked and he was crying and put all his children on the phone to beg me. He said they are missing me and one of them is sick. I said ok, I'll call you later. That was it. I blocked him. Went to Badoo and blocked him there in fact I deleted my Badoo account. Deleted his number and ended the whole thing..

Men will always be men

Modified

When I said all men are the same what I'm simply implying is, whether they are poor, rich, widower or handicapped they will still cheat or have that tendency to cheat. Take it or get lost!

A man's vulnerability doesn't stop him from exhibiting those bad habits (cheating and deception). They'll will always do that thing that make us call them meennnn... If you know what I mean and if you don't Gerrit, forget abourit. .

You no try at all.

You saw a widower, with 7 mouths to feeding, unemployed, an ex convict, and you still entered relationship. The jazz is strong

Tufiakwa!!!

AdeTolu29:
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imagrg:
I ask this question because of the test the present economic situation could present in a woman's choice in choosing a partner for either a casual or a lasting relationship.

Rich guy over handsome, but Good character over rich guy

Adonis69:
Earlier this year I met this guy and we became friends. He started visiting my apartment because him and his friends just moved into my compound. But I noticed that although he looks athletic, well built and physically fit but he's very sexually active, swinging both ways.
Yesterday I got an oral quick HIV test kit and told him it was for gonorrhea test because he's not that enlightened. So he accepted to the test. When the result came out, he's HIV positive. I wasn't so sure, so I contacted a HIV health worker and he confirmed that the owner of the test is positive.
Now, should I tell him or keep it to myself because he's already telling me that condom busted the last time he was having sex with a lady, which gave him gonorrhea. So he was taking drugs for it and was asking me how to prevent such from happening in future. I've advised him to double the condom, since he has a very huge and slightly curved dick, which is the cause of the tear during sex.

So pep, should I tell him he's positive or mind my business? He's been running temperature since yesterday and was complaining of cough and catarrh.

tell him that he is positive and it is most likely not from the last girl. HIV doesn't show immediately, it can take months and sometimes years before he has symptoms, but let him contact the girl to test her too.
Let him go to the hospital for testing and counseling.
As for the cough and catarrh, it's most likely a common cold and not an issue.

The sooner he starts drugs, the better for him before Hiv becomes AIDS. He might also know about it already.

If you can check his stuff maybe he has a drug container or any container with big pills inside but it's better to respect his privacy.

By the way, are you a man or woman and are you having sex with this person.

ericmor:
Snipper works, just spray with doors and window lock for days and see them no more

It will send them away for a few weeks, but what about their eggs that can stay up to a year.

Just saying

MadamExcellency:
As, I am seeing it, if things don't change, I mean reality on the ground (for young enterprising women outearning young men) will eventually permeate conventional wisdom.

More women will choose to be single and have peace of mind. I see no issues

atobs4real:
What are the solutions to eradicate bedbugs?

diatomaceous earth and steam.

Get a fabric steamer. Insecticide doesn't work

ojobolinda:
She is very worried 😟
Because of the faint second line, I don't know if its negative or positive... Can anyone help and read it pls

let her repeat in a few days

OZIOGU1:
Good question, during my case my wife was depressed with my attitude towards her and when she open up, i cried coz i never though i was hurting her with such words, but thank God everthing is ok now.

I am glad that two of you were willing to communicate and resolve your issues

It is a great calling to be a husband and leader, I wish you the best of luck in your marriage. Take her out to events. Show her that you are not ashamed of her. May your marriage overcome any challenges till death do you part

Enemyofpeace:
Can you read this handwriting? Does anyone understand what is written on the prescription form? Do they write like this deliberately for patients not to understand what they wrote?

That's legible. I have seen worse. I can even read it

IamReallyboy:
Help a brother,

If I touch my wife she frown, and complain she doesn't like it.

We have s*x only when she's in the mood, even if I romance her she complain of pain or give useless excuse to stop it.

My problem is, she no dey go out, no friends. Please any advice or help to this.

is she depressed?

1Sharon:


So you're back for good?

I'll be popping in once in a while

1Sharon:
I was just paying them in kind sis I wanted them to hear themselves from a different perspective.

I'm far from colorist x


Where have you been

offline o!!
Adulting is a scam

1Sharon:
I also like fair skinned men. Dark men are black and ugly

let's learn to type our opinions and preferences in a mature manner without bashing a group of people who didn't offend you.

Ahmed0336:
I have never dated any dark girl in my life so I won't criticize them.
I love them naturally fair, shout-out to all the dark ladies out there, please no follow our comments come begin bleach. Na beg I dey beg

thanks.

This is how you do it. I hope the Op/ Testiebobo learns.

Testiebobo:
Every man has his own taste on the type of lady he is attracted to. However, I admire and cherish fair ladies compared to dark skinned ladies. These are my reasons;
Fair ladies have a clearer and fresher skin tone compared to dark ladies
According to my own experience with ladies, dark ladies are the most evil ones. They are mostly filled with the most notourous ones.
Out of %100 of fair ladies that i knew in my entire life, %70 of them are very beautiful
The fact is that fair ladies look more beautiful and cute when they are annoyed and fustrated, but to the dark ones they look more uglier and most times look like chimpazees
And another fact is that i am dark in complexion but i dont fancy dark ladies. I also want to have fair skinned kids. Fair ladies are the sweetest and sexiest. DONT BE OFFENDED, IT IS MA CHOICE...

All this epistle can be summarized in one sentence.

YOU ARE COLORIST!!

You are entitled to your preferences but you shouldn't bring down dark skinned women to put Fairer ones on a pedestal.

On behalf of all dark skinned women who were minding the business that pays them and don't care about your existence, We donate you to the fair skinned sisters.

We are not missing much.

I can't have a child for a guy who asks me to split 50:50, it means he's not ready to start a family. So what happens when the woman has to stay at home to look after the kids? She will now jump back to work a month after giving birth because the man she opened her legs for is not man enough. Tufiakwa. 50:50 is a roomate, not a provider and protector.

The higher the percentage of bills he takes the more willing a woman should be to risk her life getting pregnant for him and raise his legacy into adulthood.

Many men want the benefits of a full time housewife and still expect her to do 50:50 on top when he won't even attempt to go through the character development required to lighten her load.

Babathanks:
8 good years is fucking enough now. How many percentage of Nigeria are doing civil servant self? Because most of them are cutting there age and refuse to retire for new people

if A becomes a director at 38 years and B becomes a director at 50, A will have to retire from civil service at 46 instead of 60 years just because he was more successful at a younger age. This will only encourage mediocrity and limiting people's careers.

fadilaMaikiriki:
Please, is there any you would recommend?
Thanks.

You are now lactose intolerant my friend.

Welcome to one of the final symptoms of adulthood as an African.

Say bye bye to peak tin and powdered milk, say bye bye to icecream and pizza. You may still be able to tolerate yogurt but it's unlikely.

You can still take little quantities of milk and get away with it, moderation and caution is key.

Hollandia has a lactose free milk version in liquid form going for a little over 1k per litre. It's the regular milk with lactase enzyme added to it. That doesn't mean you should drink a lot at once o. I learnt the hardware with 2 days of life changing diarrhoea. Small small.

Non diary creamer is another option. I have started seeing them in small sachets being sold by mallams. It's similar but not the same. If you have tasted nescafe 3 in 1 and you can manage, then you have no problems.

You can also consider coconut milk in your tea and coffee, tigernut milk😋 and soya milk🤢for casual enjoyment.

If you are a big boy or girl, cashew and almond milk.

Horus:
Abortion is Murder

which is better?
Abortion or this?

Abortion is of a fetus especially when the 1st trimester is not over. It's not a person yet, it's not yet viable , but the moment it took its first breath, throwing a baby in the trash is murder.

Horus:
Abortion is Murder

which is better?
Abortion or this?

This is so sad.
Abortion should be legalized in this country.

References:
https://pmnewsnigeria.com/2023/09/21/late-luth-doctor-michael-umoh-did-not-work-for-72-hours-management/?amp=1



Source: OAU College of Health Sciences

Previous Thread:
https://www.nairaland.com/7846961/dr-umoh-michael-dies-after

LUTH IS LYING!!!

Please let this reach front page. It was just last month a house officer died in an elevator, now someone died after a 72hr call. LUTH is one of the worst places to do housejob

jmoore:
This woman is married to a man that cheats on her.
She is tired of the marriage and was contemplating walking away from the marriage.
She decided to retaliate by cheating with a friend of her husband. The cheating ended up in pregnancy and she is feeling suicidal.

she should abort it now. Why is she crying. She is perishing for lack of knowledge.

Racoon:
This can't be true! How can the SE be having the lease out-of-school children despite being the most demonised region especially with the sit @ home issue and yet be breaking unparalleled academic brilliance records?

Yes! Mmesomma Ejike was bursted and shamed for innocently going to JAMB-result inflation center oblivious of what is obtainable. However, it is in this same country, that a president whose lacks legimacy issues, that was enmeshed in multiple certificate forgery, perjury and racketeering scandal that is being stoutly defended by morons especially some self-deluded people from the land of sophisticated politics.Lies and propaganda have a beginning and end.

South East is the smallest region with the smallest population. Calm down.
Statistics is misleading like that. Percentages would have been more accurate, but the northwest though😥😥

essentialone:
Abusive husbands didn't fall from the sky, someone raised a boy wrongly.

Your 3years old son gets angry whenever you give him food he doesn't want and throws it on you, you laugh and say "😃😃 children ehh".

Baby boy will lift his hands and slap you when he wants you to drop him...All you'd say is "you're beating mummy 😃"

No other child in that area messes with him...And you're calling him "A no- nonsense boy"

He picks up things from the ground and hits people whenever he's stopped from doing something...You smile and call him "action boy😃🤾🏿‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️"

You expose him to all manner of violence and say "He's a man, man suppose get mind"

Few years down the line the teenage boy bullies his sisters, commands them around, shares slaps as souvenirs to anyone that dares to challenge him.
You call him "man of the house"😃

He grew up having his way all through. Now he's a full grown man in the society. And it's not funny anymore.

Abusive husbands didn't fall from the sky, someone raised a boy wrongly.

*IT'S EASIER TO TRAIN A SON THAN TO CORRECT A HUSBAND.*

We could address a lot from the root.

Sorry if you’ve been hurt with this post ?

But! This is just the Fact 👌🤷‍♀️

May Almighty God make it easy for us all AmennN 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I agree.
It takes a mother and father to raise a good son and great husband

Nice2023:
Good question.

How I run my family is best known to me and trying to know how many people that take from this milk does not make any sense.

I am simply a bulk buyer and that is what I do and that makes me save alot which is the end goal.

I learnt that from my father and I am gradually passing it down to my children.

I meant no disrespect. Was just genuinely curious.
Have a blessed week

Nice2023:
In 2015,this milk was sold for 28k or less than because then,we used to share it among our colleagues,and it's either I buy this one below,Lactorich or Dano.

Mathematically,it is cheaper for me and my house than buying refill at #2,200 which may only last me one day or at most two days.

So,yesterday the one I bought in early March this year got finished and I and my wife decided to buy another one that would at least last for another 5months or thereabout.

The price of this milk is now #89,500 Dano that is locally produced is #87,000.

I can see why the poor has been relegated in
Nigeria and their voices have been smashed and dimmed. Ask the man on the street about the economy,he would say,e go better as if has ever been better in this country.

If we don't put the right people in govt,the poor and the needy would continue to wallow in abject situations.

Naija my country.

Naija is truly messed up, but seeing you buy this milk, I have questions. Please help me clarify.

How many people are you feeding with this milk(Adults and children/elderly)?
Why does refill last 1-2days in your house?
How long will this bag last?
Are you guys drinking this milk everyday and with every meal? If so how many scoops per cup are you using?

May God enrich our pockets because my lactose intolerant, single Pringle self cannot understand.

This is terrible!
I'm glad she able to overcome that generational trauma.
May all pedophiles get their punishment on this earth and in hell.

LINSAR:
Please what's the type of smart collection you use?
I use 256/257 can't remember correctly, and it's not strong enough for me.

Chanel no 5.

But nowadays I just add a few drops of perfume oil into my body oil and lotion. It seems to do the trick