₦airaland Forum

Nightaccountant:
Please my dear nairalander, i sincerely need your help
Am married with a child but not yet wedded. I've completely settled her bride price list remaining their bride price token which rhe items required are kola nut and 120 naira and another #15 according to their traditional rites which I intend to payoff on our forthcoming traditional ceremony.
But here lies the problem, my wife is that kind of woman who sex starves his husband. She always expect me to beg repeatedly before she agrees to love making. She sees it as a weapon, and am growing tired cos it lowers self esteem ( someone who experienced it would understand better). Sometimes i struggle my way through while she's fast asleep but if she unfortunately wakes up she will be crying as if am ra**ing her. I don't know to do cos am not a woman type which she knows, am depressed b'cos its too early for this
Secondly she never apologize despite any gravity of her wrong doing. Instead she'll start giving me the silent treatment and plays the victim. I don't knpw if she sees it (marriage) as a competition. Recently she forgot my birthday making it thrice in a row despite alerting two days before it. And guess what she never apologized. She always wants to be treated like a queen while she never reciprocate.
I've had a heart to heart conversation about it to the extent I even woke the up at late hour (2am) to confront her about the consequences of her actions but all aids to nothing, gradually am losing the love I had for her but am just holding on for the sake of our child.
I cross heart i have never cheated on her but by the way things are going It seem like cheating might be my last lifeline which I might regret
Please I need your sincere advise cos it's early for these. Dear nairalander help save a marriage

Prolific007:
You can cut them some slacks, you see that thing called ovulation? It messes with a woman's brain, that was how one day my woman told me that she's just hating me right now not like I did anything but she doesn't know why it is so.

Understanding is deep that's why we all just have to tolerant these species. Men and women see things differently and that is the difference between them

Pusyiter:
That is why it is called marriage
The second name is provocation
Embrace it

bignero:
i keep having this"dreams"....just before i fall into deep sleep, ie the first few seconds before i loose conciousness.

i see a trailer/truck blocking my way, like am driving on the express then theres a trailer blocking me, like a in a traffic or just crosses my way and blocks me...what does it mean please? am posting in the family sections because, adults are here....

its become too rampant...ie the dream, any interpretations my people? any one experienced such?
if so whats the solution?

Chosen44:
I made a very deep mistake that is costing my life i got married just to help my family even at that i can't do anything...my pastor and church members were the ones who pressured me saying God wanted to uplift my family through it,my mum and siblings didn't even have a roof on their heads i was naive yes! This man insults and reminds me of my predicaments and the worst part he gets angry when i talk about my siblings,and yet he is a cheat always with cd i am 22 and i already have a daughter she would be 2 this year honestly i know i can't have my innocence back but i know he lied to my pastor and was just looking for a good naive woman to marry,when i gave birth he rufused that somebody should come and help me it was my first and i was stiched 3 times,3 months later he wanted me to get pregnant again cos he wants a boy and he keeps treatening me about leaving,right now i don't have hand work and my salary is 18k i started working to support myself still updating...

superCleanworks:
you just sit down and type FAKE STORY just because you have fingers.

i have a friend that his wife used his own daughter to lie against. the wife had a powerful family and they got this guy locked up in prison. we his friends stood by him and finally the wife confessed to someone who was secretly recording the whole conversation and that is how the man was released from prison and vindicated. when the recording was played in the presence of her family, she started screaming and crying that we want to take her children from her. real life

annisy:
I feel your pain but God knows best! But men needs to learn a thing or more from this story. We leave in a world were a woman's word is key and the word of a kid is assumed to be factual to yours..
Lean to draw lines especially when you are single. Don't keep female friends if you are not into relationship with them every dealings you have with the opposite sex should be as formal as possible ... If kids are not yours and not related to you avoid them and keep every dealing as formal as possible some of you believe when kids are free around you it wins the good will of people around,....
If a woman or child accuse you it take the grace of God for any one to believe you!!!

HEBEI:
A little girl once approached me and was like; "uncle please, can you give me ten naira, I will give you anything you want".

Me;

Stanweezy:
Me I hardly play with little children, bkus I don't fancy it but someone told me u have to be close to children if u want God to bless u with kids.

Although I'm not married but those words fear me bkus he said if u love kids they will come to you.

He even quoted Bible that Jesus is lover of kids, and I heard that ppl close to kids gave birth easily.

This una story don dey fear me ooo

johnnywalker131:
Wickedness also lies in the hearts of little children, you would be surprised what these kids are capable of doing

This just brings back memories of an ugly incident that happened many many years ago when I went for holidays at my aunts place , there was this little girl who happened to be the daughter to my aunt’s friend , can’t even remember her name …she was so playful and outspoken for her age and everybody commended that , she would say things you would never expect her to say being the little girl that she is and everybody liked her. On this fateful day, this girl had tried being playful around me and I really was in a bad mood at the time so I shunned her. Out of the blues, My aunt and this girl’s mother summoned me for a talk, I got in the room and the girl was there, my aunt asked "what have you been doing with her(the girl)"

I was taken aback by the question cause it didn’t make sense to me ..I answered and said , "I don’t understand Ma", then she asked the little girl to repeat what she just told them and when she started talking, I just stared In disbelief cause I couldn’t wrap my head around what I was hearing and immediately I knew I was in trouble …her words “this uncle came into our room and locked the door, he pushed me on the bed and started touching me and told me not to tell anybody that he likes me" Haaaaaa!!! was the only thing I could say because I was dumbfounded and scared at the same time, I almost burst into tears �, they thought I wanted to cry because I was guilty… I was teary because how on earth was I going to convince anybody that this little girl was lying. She gave such specific and exact details that I was almost doubting myself, if I were a random person listening to this , I would 100% believe this girl, I just went on my knees and I was swearing by everything I believed in but I could see from their faces that nobody believed me.

Till date I’ve not yet figured if someone put her up to it or she came up with that herself , that was the last time I saw my aunt, the little girl and her mom , I never visited again…she’s dead now, she died of cancer …May her soul Rest In Peace ….it’s sad that she died having it at the back of her mind that I was that kind of person, pretty sure that little girl would be way grown up probably in the university by now, a lil note if she ever comes across this story which she probably wouldn’t remember, “you almost ruined my life“ From that day to this day, little kids scare me more than adults …the devil lives in little children!!!! Never forget!

source: Twitter @InvestorKpk

https://twitter.com/InvestorKpk/status/1517492718645174272?t=9miAe-vRHJNXp9q8uKQQSw&s=19[/quote]This is why I am very wary of children. I don't allow the children play within my private space. It is extremely dangerous. If I must get anywhere near a child, particularly when that child is not mine, there must be someone else present. A lot of demonic children are out there!

Olamila:
Hello nairaland I'm so afraid right now because of what is happening to my vital part (pnis).

Since last week I have being having discomfort in my pnis after sxx with my girlfriend. So I didn't know what is causing it, I tot it was due to rough sxx drive that my pnis was paining me but everything changed when I discovered something was dropping out of my pipe so I went to a secret place to take a deep look and i discovered it's doesn't look like what I have seen before in my life.

So I began to research online and saw it could be gonorrhoea, although I haven't done any test to be factual but with the description of the symptoms I can be sure I'm correct in my assertion.

Now I have checked myself for the last 3 months (sex record) no sex with anyone else or even throughout the moment I met her. I have tried to be careful with my sex life maintaining only her as a sex partner.

She is in her early 20s and I know that girls at this age have high sex drive but what kept me confused is that she always says that I'm the only one that she normally sxx with ever since we met. She only said her ex tried little but her major sxx life is with me ever since we met.

Now I don't know what to do with her or believe because this issue of infection is very hard for me to bear. I don't like hearing it that's even why I prefer to masturbate than intercourse because to be honest condoms things isn't really my thing. She claims she loves me and I'm seeing it at least she's trying compared to others I have met before but the issue now is that I can't just imagine myself keep treating infection or I don't no what she's doing at my back whether the infection is natural or she caught it with someone. I'm confused I met her since last year. Please I need advice help a brother I'm one of you guys.

This image is about second handed phone I warned her not to buy but she bought it now I just discovered, an the phone had started giving her issues just within a day.

Gentleman900000:
Good evening, my wife went to work yesterday and i was at home because it was my off day at work. She came back late and i suspected that she went somewhere but didn't confront her.

Few months back, i was going through her phone and saw she had some dirty chats with her ex and that one was saying he should find time for him. I confronted her when i saw this and she apologized that such will never happen again.

Today, we were both laying next to each other in bed and she said she have a confession to make. She said she went out to the cinema with a friend of hers. She even took a cloth along with her when she was going without informing me. She said she changed her clothes at her friend's place. I asked her that if anything happen to her at the so called friend's house that she went to without informing me, who will they call? She said she's not a kid that i should stop saying such thing. She's here apologizing again and i don't know if i should forgive her or not.

killmods:
No submission No marriage

Islandlady:
Imagine you had a fight with your girlfriend b4 going to work and you came back and see that she has destroyed your hard earned properties like the pics below

What would your reaction or first action be??

Remember violence is not an option

CC:
Lalasticlala
Mynd44

ebenezary:
Op, l don't think you are a married man,
One of my boss then had an argument with his hot tempered wife,

In the heat of everything, he left home even the wife want to drag cloth with him but after few hours he came back.

By that time the wife was saying sorry

Now to me, the day my wife provoke me l know if l stay more enough in the house, am likely to do what l have never done in past five years of marriage

I left home and l thank God say she understand the body language

Above all walkout of heat and hot argument make your temper calm down and save you from "had l know, l would have walkout" story

Sanchez01:
She married too early. That's the problem here. This is often a thing with those who get married early. She is bored, wants independence and suddenly wants to be alone to explore. I'd say it's pretty normal.

I know someone who got married at 21, has three kids and now wants to leave just because she wants to live life and never had the chance to while she was younger.

janejjjjj5000:
Thank you, sir.

I think I will go for counseling. He has told me he is willing to go for counseling. He is begging me not to end the marriage.

janejjjjj5000:
I am tired. I have a better view of marriage. He is not meeting up. My children are saying that the way he talks when upsets affects them. The children cry and he apologizes to all of us. I know I sound confused but I am just tired. I feel that my children will not be seeing this when we divorce. That is why I don't want the marriage anymore. I just want all round peace. I am tired.

janejjjjj5000:
Please, I don't want to be judged. My husband is a good man. We have been married for 14 years. I am 33 years old. He is 39 years old. We have 4 kids - 3 girls and 1 boy. He has never cheated on me. Right from day 1, he has been very open. He is not the type of husband that locks phone and all of that. But I am tired. He has the habit of flaring up around the children and I don't like it. I don't want my kids to be damaged. I know some will say no marriage is perfect but at this point, I don't even want marriage again. I just want to be free and single and look after my kids. I am tired.

Anytime we have an argument, he always talks about how he did this and that for me. In front of the children. I don't want this kind of life. He hardly gets angry, maybe twice or thrice in a year but when he does, he does not have the sense to know he should not be doing it in front of the kids. He apologizes to them and to me but I am done.

He has no other issue apart from this. He has never beaten me or anything but I am tired. Overall he is a good husband to be fair and honest but I can no longer deal with this. I prefer to be single and free than deal with this rubbish.

I feel like pouring out my heart.

joetem:
I am a medical doctor while my husband is a software developer. We both had good jobs until my husband lost his job and getting another well paid job became difficult, we both decided that I should travel to Canada for a job I got around that time and when I am stabilised, he would join me with the children. We are blessed with 2girls. We continued with our lives.

December 2018, I decided to come to NIGERIA for the festivities and to celebrate or 20th wedding anniversary. When I arrived, I noticed a tensed atmosphere between my daughters and their father. I thought it was the teenager – parent’s issue, so I ignored it. But when I noticed that my daughters would sometimes be rude to their father, I demanded to know what was going on. This became a matter of concern because, my daughters used to adore their father. I tried several times to get my daughters to speak with me but all they had to say was for me to talk to my husband. I had to ask my husband what was going on. He told me it was nothing he could not handle and that our daughters were keeping bad company in school and because of this, he decided to disallow them from going out and attending parties. He drops them in school and created time to pick them from school.

I was happy as such strong hand is needed for teenage girls. I then ignored their attitude. Few days to when I was to travel back to Canada. I called my daughters to speak with them. After a long talk, they told me that daddy did not want them to go out because he was having sex with both of them. When my husband came back from the office, I confronted him and they repeated what they told me in his presence. My husband denied vehemently but the girls insisted that it was happening.

I was confused and I sought the counsel of our pastor and his parents. They called our daughters and they said the same thing. I didn’t know who to believe. My husband kept begging me to believe him but I just was not ready to listen because I could not see reason why our children would lie about such. I made arrangement and took my children back to Canada with me despite the loans I had to take, for the extra costs. While I filed for divorce. I raised my children alone for about 3years. Then I heard the news that my now ex husband was getting married to someone else. I mentioned it to the girls and expressed how sad I was that a man that would do that to his daughters went scotfree because there is no evidence to push a case. I bursted out crying while apologizing to my girls about what he put them through. It was there that they confessed that their father did not touch them. That they lied because their father did not give them the freedom to do what they wanted and they wanted to leave NIGERIA.

My world shattered. where do I start from? How do I beg my husband? What do I say? Probably, I should have trusted my husband, but I was just trying to be a good mother. I lost a good man. How do I get him to forgive his children and I ? Can I still save my home ?

#Copied .

dacblogger:
Did I tell you this is an excuse... This is an act I am trying to stop. I am not making excuses for myself.
Read to understand please and not to comment.

donleo92:
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

emetisuccess:
In which house?

Googledman:
Hi guys, just opened this account to stay anonymous.

I've been dating this girl for 5 months now, everything I've been smooth until just yesterday evening. I was chatting with her through WhatsApp, it was all fun until i used a sticker of this skit maker ''ogb cultist". In that sticker, he raised his hand like he wanted to slap someone and his signature slang "You wan collect??"..

The response i got almost got me mad... She said she has known that I will be abusive, I'm wicked and all manner of talk. Then she said its over... IT'S OVER BETWEEN US. I tot it was a joke, like how can i explain me trying to joke and then the joke is now on me. I told her, i never meant it, it was just a joke. Even the preceding conversations before i sent in the sticker was all fun nd jokes but she said she couldn't risk being with someone that sees slapping someone as a joke. Moreover, why should i joke with such sensitive matters that just recently a claimed life of someone she look up to.

Now, this is serious has she have blocked my lines and no form of communication since.

Pls what should i do... A friend of mine said she is just looking for a slight opportunity to dump me. Is it enough reason to call a sweet relationship off. Pls i need advise.

slimjohn2k5:
I saw a story of a guy that is worried about the paternity of his child.
After 9 Months, there is no sign of resemblance to the father.
People, both family members of both sides keep asking, who this your baby resemble? You or your wife.
Wife keeps saying baby hair resemble you
Baby teeth resemble yours

This is his first child. Considering the fact that most ladies get men's first child from outside.

Kobojunkie:
1a. So you think that what God said in Genesis 3 vs 16 is a lie, this since you claim women alone, regardless of marital status, were cursed when the verse indicates that the curse applies only to wives and husbands(married couples)?

1b. Try to make sure to pay attention to what is being shown you..

Genesis 3 vs 16 contains two different curses, of which I chose to focus entirely on just the part that applied to marriage for this here conversation.
Marriage, according to Genesis 2 vs 24 is simply an agreement between a man and woman to become husband and wife (marriage). The very same husband and wife on whom the curse in Genesis 3 vs 16 is placed on by God..
Implicated are the very same husband and wife(one) that is a marriage.

God didn't place that curse on single women or single men, but on men and women in marriage(husband and wife) .I.e. on marriage itself.. The portion that deals with child birth ofcourse is not in anyway limited to only the married.

Before you rush off thinking to invalidate, first make certain you fully comprehend the conversation first!

2. Unless ofcourse in the case or fornication where one is free to remarry.

3. Matthew 5 vs 31 - 32
Matthew 19 vs 7 - 9

Kobojunkie:
1. Well, recall again that God's original Holy design for marriage did not include a plan for divorce. However, since His Holy design was rejected by man(the fall), it doesn't mean God changed His mind about divorce.

¹ God allows us divorce from what is unholy marriage and He gave us laws to indicate this both in the Old and New Covenant.

² . If you read the verses carefully, you would see that even there in Mark, Jesus Christ tells you that it is in remarriage, not divorce, that you commit adultery.

³ The only situation where remarriage is allowed is in case where fornication was reason for ending the previous marriage, else adultery is committed if remarriage occurs.

Kobojunkie:
1. I ignored what is posted in Paul's letters since they do not overule nor add nor remove in any way or form from that declared by God Himself. You have to understand what it means to say Jesus Christ is God. It means no one should add or change or even remove from that which He has commanded.

2. Jesus Christ sent His followers out to teach the Gospel as taught by Him to those in the world - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36. And one particular lesson that Jesus Christ taught is that your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God. This means Paul was wrong to teach you of marriage and of giving it as a criterion for holding anything in relationship to the Kingdom of God.

3. Marriage, according to Genesis 2 vs 24 is simply an agreement between a man and woman to become husband and wife(marriage). The very same husband and wife on whom the curse in Genesis 3 vs 16 is placed on by God..
Implicated are the very same husband and wife(one) that is a marriage.

God didn't place that curse on single women or single men, but on men and women in marriage(husband and wife) .I.e. on marriage itself..

4. "Be fruitful and multiply", is not a blessing but instead a command God gave to mankind before the fall of man. After the fall God cursed the works of man's hands and also childbirth- Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22

Kobojunkie:
1. There is no such thing as Holy Matrimony this since God cursed marriage in Genesis 3 vs 16 and that which is cursed is by definition unholy.

If you would pay close attention to what Jesus Christ in fact said in that very context, you would note that His explaination in Matthew 19 vs 5 - 6 was instead God's design for marriage in the beginning until man chose to reject God's way leading then to God's curse in Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22

2. Again, holy matrimony is an unholy lie. God cursed marriage and offered to men divorce as an option out of marriage. God never indicated divorce as sin, not in His Old Covenant and certainly not His New Covenant this since God cannot change His mind.

FYI: The laws of divorce given to even those of the Old Covenant by Moses came directly from God Himself..

3. If as a Christian, Konji still leads you, then you should reevaluate your entire belief instead.