₦airaland Forum

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

peepydelano:
Your mum is right , she doesn’t want you to bring whores into her home.

Fabulozz:
My wife gave birth 2 months ago. She had resumed her duty in the bedroom 3 weeks ago but she doesn't want me to suck her breast saying that I should wait after she stopped exclusively breastfeeding the baby she will be 6 months. I love to suck breast and I can't wait until the baby is 6 months she said I am overeating which I am not.

Tell me if she is exaggerating or am overeating? Would love to hear from married women and men in the house ?

Ylink4sure:
https://www.vanguardngr.com/2022/11/nnamani-to-ndigbo-reflect-on-reality-of-tinubu-presidency/

Survivor2020:
My 17 years old brought shame to me last year she got pregnant, I have disowned her and sent her packing. She is staying with her boyfriend in his family home.

She gave birth 5 months ago she has been sick ever since she had the baby and the boyfriend doesn't have any money to take care of her. Plus the living condition is not suitable for her in her condition.

I have forgiven her and I want to take her back home so I can take her to the hospital for treatment but I don't want her to come with her baby. Please note there is only me and my 7 years old son at home. I work and my son goes to school till 5pm.

I don't have time to babysit the baby.
I want the father to take care of his child while I take care of mine.
I hope my decision is not bad?

chatinent:
No vex, the USA wey you attach in your username, is it of/for your uncle?

Btw, I don't know how to be entitled... because I never had sb who sends me anything. I literally worked for every little thing I have. I have been working since when I was 13. It surprises me how you guys feel you are another's responsibility.


In this hard time, N1000 given to you that you didn't work for should come with a big thank you.

I just wish you knew you'd be someone's uncle someday.

As I dey, we wish we had sb to send us even if na N2k and you see N30k you dey bleat.

As you dey, I fit just see you for road nack you engine block for this entitlement feeling...in fact, begin come front.

dre11:
We have succeeded in supporting over 6000 people who gained COVID-19 intervention of N550,000 each, which accumulated to about N3.2 billion, the minister said.




https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/528851-2023-ive-made-500-people-millionaires-malami.html

fulaniHERDSman:
Charge him normāl

Tonero5200:
Minimum a day I get 2 calls from different male voice wanting to speak with the owner of the phone, my girlfriend. offcus it's my phone, but she's the one giving them my contact, the whatsapp messages I get some times it's alarming, have warned her several times for her to stop, she thinks doing that will earn her my trust instead it's making me to have several doubts about our relationship status.

We quarreled some time ago can you imagine she' told me it's like am using charm on her, can't I see the number of guys thats asking her out. yes she's pretty, sometimes I wonder, it's More like she's trying to prove something to me but I need her to stop giving my number out to guys, how do I do that?

KiNg0G:
Good day all

My girlfriend invited me to her cousins birthday party that held yesterday, at first I didn't really want to go but she kept on insisting few days ago.. when she noticed I might not come, she went ahead to invite a buddie of mine who we do things together 24/7 so that guy had to press me on yesterday afternoon.

We were three who went, getting there it was filled up with lots of guys and girls... since we were invitees from her, we just sat down observing the crowd untill a girl came to bring us drinks filled our table With meat sauce..but where my girl now? she's no where to be found.. untill I saw her from afar sitting with her cousins and some other people. I wanted to go meet her, instead I called her on the phone to look at my direction where I was, she said she knew, oya come say hi.. she was reluctant to stand up to come meet me.

We ate and drank then stood up 30mins later and left the party ground, according to my guys, they said she might have some other guys in the crowd that's bankrolling her, hence the ignoring....but why did she still insist I come?

T0T0fucker:
Simp assz licking niggas.

Op, nor mind this fool!

Nothing him and his family fit do you...nor go borrow money marry death body o.
Infact leave his sister for the mortuary, make you travel out live your life.

When them ready they go carry the dead body

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

Fahdiga:
You try. kudos. May your children lift you 8ft above the ground and leave you to fall yakata in future in Jesus name amen

POSmecrhant:
I have this new neighbor that packed in last three months, that talk to people anyhow. But he feels it's a normal conversation.

Over the weekend I was cleaning my house and my car, only for him to tell me I clean my car too much. And was saying other nasty things and was laughing thinking is a normal thing.

There's no single day that i will wash my car that this guy will not say this to me, how I valued my car more than my life.

Normally, this guy can not look me with straight face and be telling me this kind of nonsense if I didn't create this kind of familiarity with him in the first place.

How can i avoid this guy in a matured manner so that he won't even decode I'm avoiding him?

CleanInAll:

Racoon:
https://www.thecable.ng/who-is-buharis-2023-candidate/amp

lalasticlala:
Ask shared by Tunde Omotoye:



https://twitter.com/TundeTASH/status/1486034972913852422?t=VAj9ls6g93wpOLrarhgFqw&s=08[/quote]People can talk rubbish sha. Unilag transcript is one week and remains the cheapest. I applied for my transcript on 20 of October 2021 amd got it on 26 of the same month.

drinoayo:
More


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHJwr7RjaaE

Limitlessss:
I need frank and candid advice guys.

I'll be as brief as possible.

I am a student in my 400l nw, things aren't so Rosey nor easy especially financially for me now.

Something happened this past weekend, i returned back from lectures with no dime on me, I left very early because I needed to read more, (exam things) my Elder bros travelled which I had no idea of, I live close by, (actually choose this institution because of his presence in the state) Truth is I am the type that usually keep hard times to myself, I only open up when I am choked, i hardly check on him because of negative energies i receive from his wife so I prefer communicating with him via phone, i keep my distance as possible as appropriate.

So I went to his house to check on him, i was totally broke and hungry, learnt from his wife that he traveled, asked her if she had anything, she said no money o, what she had, she wants to use it to go to the market to buy some stuff, I saw her writing a list and with some money, she was about going to market, I saw small Eva rubber red oil #900.

It hit me, I had just a little above the quantity of red oil she needed, and I hardly cook.

So I told her that instead of buying #900 in d market that I will bring the exact quantity she needs, but I just need 5h, that I am broke, I reasoned with her and pleaded that she do not see this wrongly that I am selling it to her, that its just an exchange, she said no p, I also pleaded with her not to tell my bros her husband which she also agreed.

We made the exchange, I got the #500 and gave her d oil she would have bought #900.

I just received a call from my elder bros yesterday, and he was very pissed? That y should I sell d oil to his wife?

I tried to explain but he won't listen, has even refused seeing me, honestly I am not happy right now, why will she disclose it to him? We had a pack?

jaksmillioniar:
hello room.

I have a problem and it is paining me. I am a matured guy who know what it feels like to be single and maried .

Most People mock me, but I got married.

We had a baby last year, a corona baby.

I am not ashamed to say that at my age, I am still a mummy's boy and she is my number one but I respect my wife.

When I wanted to marry, my wife Never agreed to having a house close to my mum's place.

I felt very bad but I want to make her happy so we moved far. My mom was angry as she knew my wife forced me.

When my wife delivered, her mum came for omugo instead of my mum, and that made her so sad, that she cried and ask if i am a bastard to let them steal her right.

I begged her. She came for naming and left the same day I noticed way my wife was acting rude too because her mum was pushing her.

I told my wife that mum is angry, let us visit her buy her a gift because her place is now far.

She kept saying that her body is not strong for 5 months after delivery and I thought she took me and my family as fools.

I got angry and slapped her twice. When she saw that I was really angry she begged me.

So we went and saw her we are all happy and settled all.

As my child reached 10 month, I told her to tell her mum to go because she's now strong almost to walk.

Her mum left but my mum wanted to come and spend the holiday as she had never done that since she delivered .

When I told my wife, her facial expression changed. When my mum came i travelled but she didnt cook for her but heat soup that was in the freezer to give her.

My mum hated that and she called me crying that what she did to her she won't do to her own mum .

I pretended nothing happened as I got back I bought things from a eatry for family so my mum left after 2 weeks.

I brought up the issue and she said nothing wrong in giving her food kept in the freezer that she gave same to her mum too .

I got angry and beat her up. I didnt injure her. all and some other thing . I love my wife I cant be beating her all the time she promise to change yet nothing. Because of bad character I refuse to take her to eatry.

she denied me sex until I slap sense into her.

marriage has challenges it is s not easy.

Joeblazeochola:
confess to ur wife n her husband am sure u will be fine las las.. trust me, if u do dis u will never cheat in ur life again. come! make nobody quote me again, give ur own advice leave me.

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans toy marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

littlenzuki:
Hello nairaland please is it a must that cover letter must be included when applying for a job. Though some job advert does not specify it

hashbag1:
Nlanders,
I have been married for 9 years now, amidst several incidences that gave me suspicions over my wife's infidelity. The one that happened of recent gave me nothing more than great suspicion over any other.

My daughter and son got infection, they were admitted into the hospital. On this faithful day, I was there with them and I left the hospital in the afternoon to get something for them to eat, I got back with the food and quickly rushed down to my office to tidy some work. I felt hungry and decided to drive out, on my way to the restaurant leads to the hospital, I was in traffic when I put a call through to my wife whom I asked how she was coping and how the kids were doing, while on call with her, I heard sounds of car horns so I asked if she was out, she said yes that she was going to get water across the stree, so i was like you shouldnt have stressed yourself since
the house maid was with her, next thing she yelled at me saying why am I making ascertion as to who should go get the water or not, I was like but that isnt a big deal to ask, she was like well the house girl have been the one running errands all day, I responded saying instead of yelling at me, you would have just responded by saying the above.

As a responsible and concerned father, I decided to suspend dinner and branch at the hospital which took me 8 mins to get there because of traffic. On getting to the hospital, lo and behold, my wife was not there, just the kids and the house maid. I asked the house maid where madam was, she said she stepped out without saying where she was going. I immediately put a call through to her. "Babes where are you at, just got here now and you are not here". She immediately hung up on me, I called back, she didnt pick, called her again didn't pick, waited few mins and called, she picked and yelled "why are you looking for me" I was like but you claimed you went to
go get water but its been up to 15mins and you are not here yet, next thing she said was I'm in a uber car, Wow uber car when you just said you went across the street to get water, how does being in uber car relate to that. I requested a video call, I hung up the normal call and called her on whatsapp call, she didn't pick, I called her back again on normal call and said you aren't picking, she responded saying am in uber car now, call me on video again, I did but she still didnt pick. So I decided not to bother since declaring her whereabout seems frutile. She called back on normal call saying she was on her way home to pick some her items to quickly do an advertising shoot to model to her customers in the hospital room, that she didnt want me to get mad at her reason why she didn't tell me before she left, I was like its not a big deal telling me that after which I have found out she never did go out there to buy water.

Husbands and fathers in the house, in this kind of situation, what could have been your thought? As for me, something was not just right, and the most damning part of all these is leaving the kids at the mercy of just the house maid, I feel if there is something she is hiding from me and leaving the kids like that is what
the issue of trust has led us to, I am left in amazement and total disappointment.

Deltafynest:
I have been dating this girl for more than a year now. We have been committed even with travails here and there sometimes.

I'm a student, she also and she's an orphan. My intention boarded on the idea that she would understand me knowing fully well where i was coming from.

Every week, i began to discover new stuffs mostly on the ground that she has slept with all categories of people in the past including cripple, pastor, someone she's older than, and even her uncle, her former boss too and her boss's brother. Even with all these revelation i was still willing to stay with her. There are secret stuffs that i can't share online about her.


Her ex boyfriend has been a bone in the neck since the start of this relationship. He didn't want to let go so i learnt and the girl has expressed total hatred on the guy. She doesn't even want to hear his name at all.

So she recently travelled and was calling me. One day, she called me that she has something to say, she said she would come to town to tell and because of the intrigue i was able to get her to talk on the phone. She said she has slept with the ex boyfriend since we started the relationship.

Now the main thing is, a pastor once told me that my gf's glory was used for rituals which we suspected the dude being that they dated for over 9 years plus and she was certain it was the guy due to some factors which i can't say.

Things hasn't been easy whenever she is around me mostly when she spends time in my house. Things will just go bad and terrible, doors will just close...

So, when she told me about the guy. She said she did it because she was looking for 20k. I was angry because the period she said she took the money, i remember i had $4500 sent to me and she never asked me for any money.

The matter has been on ground and i have been so pained since cos i know she must have done it with someone else too.

So i travelled to Portharcourt to see her today from Warri even though i was short on cash and had to raise the money to see her. On getting there we trashed the matter out and her sister said i should forget the past so that we can move on. I agreed, i was already getting tired of her shenanigans, so i decided not to be used by this id#ot again. The bit*h even mentioned that the guy has been disturbing her life with calls to come back.

I took the guy's number and called him like a guy man. We have actually related in the past before so we needed no too much introduction. The guy said they are not dating but he is only having time with her and that she would call him to ask for money almost all the time. This girl never told me she was looking for money and i refused. I have always tried my best for her.

After talking, i and the guy agreed to just use her. The guy said i should not take her serious and should just enjoy myself with her. That whenever she go back to town i should call him to take over from that side. So i agreed.

Bit*h will be shocked if she thinks i will take her serious. We will just useless her for years and waste her time. If you see the way we agreed to use her ehn, you will know the hatred is real.


Don't trust these girls.

you4me:
A boy that's a family friend is dating my cousin that lives in the US he's using her 16 years old brother for picking up proceeds of scam
I got to know when i got his number from her and saved it on the phone I bought from the brother
Lo and behold I texted him and i got to see old texts and whatsapp voice notes he shared with the brother.
My questions now are
1. I can surely confront him about using my little cousin for fraud but I don't want our parents to know cause I'm trying to be the best big brother i can be to my siblings(cousins inclusive) My family is closely bonded a typical Muslim core Northern Nigerian family.
2. Can I explain to the Girl that he's into fraud and he's heartless enough to use her brother for fraudulent pickups which can get him into trouble?
Sorry if you find my Grammar unappealing Na excess ASUU strike cause am
Below are receipts from their chats

tensazangetsu20:
I used to abuse the older generation blaming them for completely destroying the country for the younger generation especially Nigerians in the 45 plus age bracket but I have been thinking and I feel that age range of Nigerians actually had it much worst than Nigerians of today.

Nigeria is still an absolute shithole today but at least the internet exist which is enabling young people to make a living online. Something that was impossible or unheard of like 10 years ago.

How did older men survive Nigeria when they were young. I mean let's say you graduated from unilag or unn with a mechanical engineering degree in 1984 when Buhari was head of state. They were no jobs, unemployment was still very rife. There was no internet for freelancing or stuff like that. Bujari destroyed the economy then and a demon IBB entered and became president as if that wasn't worst Abacha came in. By the time Abacha left, a 22 year old man from buhari tenure might have been 35 or close to 40 years. Lived through all this bad governance, poverty and hardship. It's so terrible when I think about it.

Older Nigerians how did you guys do it? I am really curious to hear your experiences.

Nelchuksmandela:
Good day Niralanders,

I need your sincere advice on my present situation.
Please ignore any grammatical error or punctuation. I’m the first son of my family, my father is an average Nigerian trader, he single handedly sponsored my schooling from nursery to higher institution.

After my service year, one of his friends scammed him of 300k in the name of they will get me a job in NUPENG before he paid that money I told him my pastor’s revelation about the NUPENG job, which my pastor said She does not like the job and shared ill references associated to the job with me and I told my dad when I got home, he countered and rebuked the revelation, he doesn’t take any of our advice, he finally fell for the scam.

To cut the long story short, I’m now working class that earn 75k monthly, however I’m still squatting with a friend and I’m still struggling to survive.

Recently I received a call from my dad, he told me he needs 500k for trading, that he wants me to take loan on his behalf he will be paying the debt once it’s due, since he is yet to complete the outstanding loan he took from the same bank, which is remaining 3 months to complete. I later discovered he had another debt he’s still servicing (Paying ) of a different bank that is remaining 6 months to complete.
After pondering over it i asked him; what if he defaults what will happen ? he shunned me and said why will I be negative and I politely told him my mind that I cannot help the current issue. Since then he started reporting me to my mum relatives to talk to in order to accept and collect the loan of 500k on his behalf.

Please your advise on this will be helpful.
Thank you.

Kadejo:
I meet this lady during COVID-19 pandemic period which was last year May 2020. She is still a student in a reputable University here in Nigeria, 300Level to be precise. She is 25years old.
She has insisted that until she finishes her school, gone for service and do what ladies call "Sisi" for at least another one year, she won't get married. That will be about 4years to this time.

I am in my mid 30s already, working class, earn below #70k per month, also into IT business, willing to get married now because I feel lonely, also need to build a family of my own before I turn 40yrs.

This lady in question appears to show me love, that's to her own way, my orientation is a bit different, I love her too anyways.

But would you advice I wait for her till she is done with all she has said or should I leave her and look for someone else to get married to?

Please, no insult, advice needed from experienced person.

Thank you.

Demigod22:
I was my grandma's favorite child before her death last year. Since her death I am the only one seeing her in my dream. She always visit with gifts and bunch of money and always advising me to be strong.

Since her death I don't go to her house again, last time she visited me in my dream complaining how I don't visit her house again, she said she came to stay with me in school, after her death, with multiple dreams of her giving me money, to some extent I started having small pocket money in school.

Last time I dreamt, I was frying sweet potatoes and she came to give me money. Sometimes, in my dream, she will call me to her room and gave me bunch of money to count, immediately I finished counting the money, she will smile and disappear before I return the money to her. She is always coming to give me money and gifts in one way or the other, she is always complaining that because she died that is why I am hungry that I shouldn't worry.

In the whole family, I am the only one seeing her in my dream since her death, sometimes I get really scared. Can grandma love her grandchild even till death? Can anyone explain these things happening to me? Could it be spiritual love? Please I need explanation.

Demigod22:
I was my grandma's favorite child before her death last year. Since her death I am the only one seeing her in my dream. She always visit with gifts and bunch of money and always advising me to be strong.

Since her death I don't go to her house again, last time she visited me in my dream complaining how I don't visit her house again, she said she came to stay with me in school, after her death, with multiple dreams of her giving me money, to some extent I started having small pocket money in school.

Be hustling oh and granny go make your hustle fruitful. Sometimes visit her grave and drop something she loved. Should her love too and you never lack. Play bet or baba ijebu oh you fit hit mad money one day. Your own done pure ���

Last time I dreamt, I was frying sweet potatoes and she came to give me money. Sometimes, in my dream, she will call me to her room and gave me bunch of money to count, immediately I finished counting the money, she will smile and disappear before I return the money to her. She is always coming to give me money and gifts in one way or the other, she is always complaining that because she died that is why I am hungry that I shouldn't worry.

In the whole family, I am the only one seeing her in my dream since her death, sometimes I get really scared. Can grandma love her grandchild even till death? Can anyone explain these things happening to me? Could it be spiritual love? Please I need explanation.