₦airaland Forum

BRATISLAVA:
Lol.

I've never seen men so obsessed with marriage like the Nigerian ones. It's like their testes are itching for a proposal speech. I haven't met other men like this. Just check out the number of concerned threads for single women. It's almost touching. If only their intentions are pure.

Having lived in different countries including Nigeria, I'm inclined to agree with you. I've never seen a group of men who carry women matter for head like our +234 brodas.

BRATISLAVA:
Clearly Nigerian men are more obsessed with marriage than women are.

Clearly. Massive obsession I tell you.

Another Shiloh topic for rejected men to vent.

jornwhite:
You've missed ur period, see when you are justing reply, however i am sure no one as commanded or instruct any gurl here to do things against her will, the essence of the topic/thread is to identify what the problem is nd the mature minds have done that base on valid experience. don't ask me to go the market, local gurlz no get problem, naa gurlz in the corporate world, woke geng get marital problem pass. ramota wey dey sell pepper no say she no fit marry pass kazeem mechanic
whether you admit the truth or not, my dear it changes nothing besides reality go wake everybody. when treysong finally cum marry you pls no forget me, naija hard

Do you always wonder why this issue has been a discussion since 1972 and it is still being discussed in 2021? Because the dynamics of choosing and being chosen will never change.

Men choose. Women choose. Men reject women they don't like. Women reject men they don't fancy. We live in a complex world where we're desired and rejected while we in turn desire and reject others. It's like a blockchain where A rejects C but wants B who wants K. K in turn wants X but X wants D. D likes T but since T isn't into him, he goes for C who was initially rejected by A. C decides to settle for D and boom! A new couple is released into the universe.

The reality is that settling down for what you don't desire is stomach-churning and dare I add nauseating for most people, including men. That's the reality. Let's just make peace with it.

I'll ignore that Trey Songz comment.

jornwhite:
Here we go again ! a typical naija gurl believe once she is beautiful she deserves prince harry/kpokpogri. i believe the synonym for beautiful is handsome ... lets see dj cuppy or toke makinwa stoop low for a broke handsome guy tew, whats gud for the goose should also be gud for the gander, abi !!
Men understand class, you rarely see a man go for women out of his league except for the gold diggers, while women don't even know there mate, lizzy wey her mama dey sell akara feels she deserves obi cubanas of this world, simply because she has a fine face, breast n yansh
When you travel outside nigeria you will realize all this "i fine men owe me money" mentality you gurlz carry about ... does not fit outside nigeria,, for overseas fine gurlz even dey waste. We are not asking you ladies not to be picky, we are just reminding una say unrealistic expectations is why most of you are as single as nepa pole.
you are waiting for prince charming buh you are looking out for range rover, keep ignoring all the horses that pass

You're missing the point. These men saw who they desired, approached those women willingly and the women willingly said 'Yes' to them, for whatever reason (it could be financial stability, status, intelligence, gentleness, sense of humour, compatibility, responsibility, etc).

If those broke men feel that they want DJ Cuppy and Toke, what's stopping them from approaching either of them? They can try their luck na. And they should bear in mind that rejection is a possible outcome just as you do not fancy every girl who fancies you.

And here comes my disclaimer. I am not Nigerian (as can be presumed), but I worked in Lagos long enough to understand Nigeria and Nigerians. I don't recall meeting any fine Naija woman doing nothing, waiting for a man's money. Not where I lived anyway.

Nigerian women work hard. Some are in top corporate positions sef, in advertising, the financial sector, manufacturing, medical field, insurance, media firms, oil and gas, law firms, etc. Others in businesses selling fashion and beauty accessories, food stuffs, shoes, clothes, etc. Only you know where you meet poverty-stricken girls that are waiting for Elon Musk. From what I know many of them marry into another poverty-stricken home and the cycle of poverty continues for the most part. For some however, they do what they can to get themselves out of their unfortunate situation by selling what they can or offering domestic services.

Go to the market and see whether those women are waiting for Cubana. They work hard to provide for themselves and their families. They're not entitled to anyone's money. They are so used to depending on themselves, it has become second nature to them.

That expectation you call "unrealistic" is what you yourself will use to dismiss certain women. It's pragmatic to most men but when women use that same criteria to dismiss them it's because they're unrealistic. Abegi!!

If women want to have unrealistic expectations, let them. It should not be your headache. It is they who will live with the consequences of their choices. I'm just happy that this Shiloh thing is beginning to fall on deaf ears these days.

jornwhite:
Men are picky, indeed !!
between Rich men marrying poor gurls and rich women marrying riff raff, what is the stats ?
For a better clarification, between elite men marrying dropout gurlz and elite women settling for a school dropout what is the stats in nigeria

IF Ned could go as low as regina and a whole pilot settled for omotola when she was nobody, yet men her picky, aunty linda can't even settle for a millionaire, c'mon tasha thinks she deserve bill gate of this world, aunty toke makinwa is somewhere waiting new men edition abeg swerve.

So picking a beautiful youthful girl is stooping low? If these girls weren't beautiful (or even youthful) would these men really go for them? No. They saw what appealed to them and went for it. They went for what they desired like most men do, which is fine because it's well within your basic rights to pick what you find desirable.

A woman fits your profile, you pick.
A woman doesn't fit your profile, you pass.

When women exercise this same right you "logical" ones start claiming she's choosy, threatening her with Shiloh and menopause because just like you and your ilk, she won't pick what doesn't fit her profile.

Many women learn how to be picky from men.

“Didn't touch her. Many cute looking female solo travellers here living on their bill. Got two Beyonce-like mzungus already during breakfast. I think leo katatamba. We are already talking about covering 20 countries together in the next few weeks. Done with giving daughters of Jezebel a taste of the soft life.

Anyone else noticed the Kiswahili expressions? But the fake blogger must find traffic by force, by fire and so will twist the story to suit certain narratives.

Probably a fake story anyway like many others online.

Blueelf:
They are not caught btw anything

Na their choosiness put them for that position

Everyone is choosy, including you.

pocohantas:
They keep complaining ladies are materialistic and lazy. There are hardworking ladies that dirty their hands to make money. Go to the market and you would see them selling tomatoes and pepper. When it is dark, they will put on mpalaka and continue selling. Why are they not going after those ones? Why haven’t these premium Nigerian men proposed to those ones?

LOL!
Men are picky. They want Agbani Darego but expect her not to be picky. They want Nengi to suffer with them, not the tomato seller.

isaiah4life:
Sense will not kill this one. Oil dey your head.

If you are married, may God give you twins. If you are not yet married, may God give you a good, fine man. God bless you for this your comment.

zed7:
There is always going to be the issue of bad luck, some people just can't get a partner. More like not being destined to marry.

That aside, many people are too choosy. Whom they want doesn't want them, who wants them, they don't want.

This is just the hard truth. A summary of the reality.

No one wants to settle down with a partner they don't desire. Many will stretch the search for who they desire for as long as they can, but settling down for an undesirable partner, they won't.

Others are talking of feminism, others materialism. All na wash. If a feminist (by Nairaland standards) meets a man she desires, she'll denounce feminism just so as she can accommodate him in her world. If the man is not who she desires, she'd rather be a hard-core feminist if that's what it takes to keep such men away.

Mock her, Shiloh-shame her, age-shame her. E no go work, especially if she can support herself financially. The reality of living with an undesirable partner is worse than being single for many women.

Women are really not that hard to understand.

Your lady is pretty and may your union be filled with love and happiness.

But please allow me to mention something. Be careful about using Nairaland (or even Facebook) as a platform to update the public about each step of your life.

Is your bride-to-be aware that her pictures have been put out there for public consumption?

tarantino1:
All these fake stories sef.

Na only nairaland na carry this news. Wetin be the billionaire name. Everybody reputable billionaire dey Forbes list. So say the name let's find out.

It's not a fake story. It started when the girl's account was frozen for money laundering investigation some time back because she opened a new account and a few days later, boom! Over 100 million Kenya shillings in her account.

She neglected to inform her bank that she was expecting to receive a large sum of money.

sgtponzihater1:
Women are largely selfish.

Selfishness is a human character. There's no selfless gender.

Only God loves mankind without expecting anything in return.

-

CHoccolaTE:
Why are males in this forum so bitter ro females?
Is it our fault that Buhari is twisting your neck with hunger so you dont know who to transfer frustration to again?

Yes, they have a problem with females in general, but it's usually more amplified with the well-to-do females. The ones living better than them. Just have a solid source of income and live a relatively comfortable life, and they'll start having heart palpitations.

There is one neanderthal who claimed in some discussion that women who own cars are likely to be disrespectful to elders.
Owning a car, a gadget that helps one to move from point A to B will make a woman disrespectful.

They're more forgiving of struggling females though. The ones they can threaten with "I'll send you back to your father's house!"

AbujaCitiBlog:
Serves her right! Hopeless Prostitute!

You're the hopeless one for believing this click bait from an unprofessional blogger looking for views.

Some of you can be so naive.

Okiemute101:
This is the one we know... Every Girl child must avoid inappropriate dressing at home & Mothers have a big role to play. When they will allow their children wear rubbish seductive clothes at home.

what a shame to the family.

A man is sleeping with his daughter and all you can think of is that he's probably a victim of her indecent dressing? And you even have the audacity to drag her mother into this as the irresponsible parent?

So your daughter dresses indecently and the next thing na to book hotel room?

Some of you males need to check yourselves into a mental asylum walahi.

tillaman:
nah doggy style ain’t dirty as a matter of fact it’s the best way to smash girls suffering from halitosis
It can be dirty the moment you suspend her legs in the air like supergirl in motion,
Also Ancient Rome was never against homosexuality its not my first time of seeing sculptures dating back depicting gays
Homosexuality, bestiality and every other form of perversion likely started from ancient Rome
You should see the series Spartacus

I've watched Spartacus, but I still think these sexual perversions existed in other societies way before Ancient Romans made it "fashionable" as the "Hollywood", the Americans of their time.

I won't be surprised if people in Ancient Mesopotamia, who existed long before Ancient Rome was an organised empire, performed sodomy and orgies during the worship of their many gods and goddess.

The ancient societies were something else.

deolurexy1:
why black africa no like sex or na disguise we dey disguise?

Sex wasn't disguised, I can tell you that.

It formed part of society's art and even incorporated into some dance moves.

Look up mutuashi dance of Congo and chakacha dance of Kenya and Tanzania. These dances simulate sex and girls were taught to perfect it because it was (still is) believed that they could better please their husbands. Girls went (still go) through "tutorials" from sex aunties, older women, etc who schooled them in the art of sex.

This was and still is, common in some East, Central and Southern African countries.

tillaman:
All I see is doggy styles the dirty dirty way!
People don like doggy no be today ? If our ancestors can like doggy so who am I not like it
I knew fagging started from Rome Italy

Is doggy style dirty?

Anyway, I'm not sure about Rome being the origin of fagging, but I do know that homosexual activities were in fact very normal in some communities around the world.
It's documented that when the Spanish conquered ancient South American empires in the 16th century, they were astonished at how much homosexual unions had been normalized in those societies. Anal sex (between men) was normal and wasn't even a private affair in pre-Columbian Peru for instance.

It's also a well-known fact that Kabaka Mwanga II of Uganda sodomized his male subjects. It was not even done in secret.
Whether he did it because he was a Kabaka, or he did it because it was a cultural norm is unknown.
(Kabaka means King in the Luganda language).

Me thinks fagging existed way before ancient Rome became a major powerhouse. They were just more organised in the documentation of their lifestyle.

oldienavie:
I clocked 36 years 2 months ago, I look fit for my age compared to many Nigerians (I realised most Nigerians dont pay attention to their physical fitness).
I have been outside of the country and just got back with the aim of trying to get a wife.
Am I too old to expect to find a decent woman ?
What suggestions do you have with regards to getting a good woman in the shortest possible time ?
Thanks all.

How is it too late? Is your heart shutting down?

Since you want a decent woman within the shortest time possible, you can try asking the people you trust to introduce you to some, then you can do the vetting.

Good luck!

Mstick:
Vulcanizers, hawkers, dustbin packer,masons, road side mechanics, shoe makers, cleaners, all those guys that walk around picking iron, and many other blue collar job workers get married every some to many wives with numerous children. I guess the women they're are Married to are from United States of America.

Hehehehehehe
They don't want the kind of wife those vulcanizers and shoe makers have. They want a clean, flashy, glamorous girl, but want her to accept him in his face-me-I-slap-you cubicle.

I love the guy's love story though. He seems like a hardworking fellow, doing legit businesses. Impressive.

Let's just hope that he won't go looking for the gold diggers who used to reject him. Is it not the "logical" gender again?

festacman:
1. Peter is extroverted, highly emotional, easily excited and often infantile. Paul is introverted, rational, an alpha male and aggressive. Lola Omotayo is intelligent, pretentious and manipulatively domineering.

2. While Lola has Peter under control, the alpha-male factor in Paul resists her but she keeps fighting albeit a psychological battle. Jude is just a helpless dude caught in the crossfire.

3. Peter and Paul will reconcile the very minute Lola wants and orders. The whole issues of Psquare suppressing Peter's singing talent, Jude being a parasite on Psqaure and Jude and Paul not respecting Peter's wife were inputed in Peter's head by Lola as emotional tools to isolate him. She holds the key. She dominates and manipulates Peter and then, flaunts her control of Peter in both Jude and Paul's faces and enjoys it when Paul helplessly protests and kicks.

4. Interestingly, the same Lola relates well to Paul's wife, showed support and presence when she opened her clothing outlet and allowed her daughter Aliona to model some clothes.

5. Lola is just playing yo-yo game with Okoye family. It may backfire in future but for now, she holds the aces.

Like a fly on the wall, you seem to know everything that's happening in that household.

How long have you had your psychic abilities?

Plantiff:
I made a mistake and I'm so ashamed of myself.

"Men who suffer Dementia will be at the mercy of their wives".

I wrote "...men "that" suffer dementia...". I shouldn't have used "that" as a pronoun because I was referring to human beings.

You used the appropriate pronoun "who" while quoting me without pointing out my grammatical error.

Average readers will think you're intelligent, rational and expressive when they get an opportunity to read your remark.

However, your argument doesn't make my stance invalid.

I wrote a statement of fact and you gave a statement of opinion like any member your illogical gender would

I wasn't even quoting you to point out a grammatical flaw, unless you're just being sarcastic. Never even noticed a grammatical error.

Of course, the usual attack on my gender for being illogical.
Your opinion is "factual", but mine is "irrational". You've not challenged my submission, but challenged my gender. The usual ad hominem. Not surprising though.

I still insist that the decision to be a caregiver isn't determined by one's age. It is largely determined by their level of compassion. It's common knowledge that not everyone is a caregiver. It's not even an opinion. It's a fact. Implying that it's only a woman 19 years younger that can take care of you is more of an opinion than fact. Just look around you and do a random survey even from members of your own family. The statistics are there for you to see. It's not an opinion.

Questioning my level of rationale and attempting to discredit my write-up as "unintelligent" won't change the fact that between these two variables; age and compassion, the latter is more of a factor in determining who will take care of you when you are at their mercy.

Kindly address that subject matter without attacking my gender. It's the logical thing to do.

Double post.

Plantiff:
Alzheimer's disease, dementia or Parkinson's disease affects 3 million Americans annually despite their healthcare delivery system. I don't know the statistics in Nigeria because it isn't recorded.

Bill Gates is committed to finding the best possible solution for these diseases that attack when grandparents retire from labour and intend to spend quality time with their children and grandchildren. I think this disease killed Gates, the senior, and the father of the richest man in the world wouldn't die if money could treat dementia.

These category of diseases is better prevented than cured.

Dementia is a disease that is usually managed. In developed countries there are dementia care homes.

Those facilities are lacking in Nigeria which makes men that suffer from Dementia to be at the mercy of their wives.

Why am I saying all these?

I'm advising bachelors eligible for marriage to avoid evening newspapers at all cost.

Marry a woman that is at least 10 years younger than you so that if this disease sets in both of you would not suffer it together because women are more likely to suffer dementia than men.

Also, since there are no care homes in Nigeria, your survival depends on the willingness of your wife to take care of you since your children will be taking care of their own families.

Jacob's survival today is because he married a "very good" woman he is 19 years older than who is taking care of him .

"Men who suffer Dementia will be at the mercy of their wives".

LOL. Any individual who suffers any disease will likely be at the mercy of their spouse, male or female. You think it's by having a spouse of a certain age that you'll escape abandonment? Dementia isn't the only disease which can afflict you and leave you at somebody's mercy. You can be diagnosed with diabetes, or get a spine infection or injury in your 20s, 30s or 40s. It's not a 14-year old that will take care of you. It is your evening newspaper wife that will, if she's compassionate.

There are no guarantees of how your spouse will turn out in the future. None I tell you. Joke Silva could have decided to turn into a cougar and invite little boys into her house but she chooses to be a care giver to her husband, not because she's 20 years younger than Olu, but because she's compassionate and committed to him. Another woman 20 years younger than Olu would have looked at this time as the perfect opportunity to "relocate" to America with her younger lover.

I've come to understand that some stuff expressed on this forum are usually done so as jokes and banter but sometimes we end up portraying high-level ignorance and sounding so stupid in the process. Honestly.

It's normal to bash women on Nairaland, and even more common to bash older women, but that shouldn't be an excuse to keep spewing nonsense all the time.

Just pray that when that time comes when life throws its worst afflictions your way, you'll have a compassionate spouse to stand by you. Younger or otherwise.

Plantiff:
Those facilities are lacking in Nigeria which makes men that suffer from Dementia to be at the mercy of their wives.

"Men who suffer Dementia will be at the mercy of their wives".

LOL. Any individual who suffers any disease will likely be at the mercy of their spouse, male or female. You think it's by having a spouse of a certain age that you'll escape abandonment? Dementia isn't the only disease which can afflict you and leave you at somebody's mercy. You can be diagnosed with diabetes, or get a spine infection or injury in your 20s, 30s or 40s. It's not a 14-year old that will take care of you. It is your evening newspaper wife that will, if she's compassionate.

There are no guarantees of how your spouse will turn out in the future. None I tell you. Joke Silva could have decided to turn into a cougar and invite little boys into her house but she chooses to be a care giver to her husband, not because she's 20 years younger than Olu, but because she's compassionate and committed to him. Another woman 20 years younger than Olu would have looked at this time as the perfect opportunity to "relocate" to America with her younger lover.

I've come to understand that some stuff expressed on this forum are usually done so as jokes and banter but sometimes we end up portraying high-level ignorance and sounding so stupid in the process. Honestly.

It's normal to bash women on Nairaland, and even more common to bash older women, but that shouldn't be an excuse to keep spewing nonsense all the time.

Just pray that when that time comes when life throws its worst afflictions your way, you'll have a compassionate spouse to stand by you, young or otherwise.

Let her be.

You want to increase her mileage so you can say she has high body count therefore unsuitable for marriage?

Where will you meet low body count for marriage if you must sleep with every girl you meet?

Desist from spending on her if it's driven by sex. She may probably decide not to sleep with you and you'll just end up resenting her.

You yourself have decided that the relationship will be a business transaction, so don't start crying later that girls are materialistic. It's what you want them to be.

Has it been converted to soup yet?

I'm beginning to wonder whether there's a significant connection between this suicide bombing in Kampala and the Afghan refugees hosted in Uganda.