₦airaland Forum

Dialpad:
How long will this last for? Can a Nigerian woman endure the burden?

With true love, a woman can endure any situation

But a man that his wife is in that condition, must have slept out so many times since that march

jaxxy:
Why would u marry a man who can’t provide for u and then start to complain or want to turn him to a house boy?

Marry who can provide for his home. The level of provision depends on what he has and he definitely won’t steal to please u. If u are not ok with stay single or join in providing also. It is not a crime for a woman to also provide for her home instead a lazing about also.

Providing is done by both parents and it depends on who has more at the time. Even at the the man is still the head of the home and if u don’t like it u can be single. It’s not by force.

A woman can never be head of the home even if she’s the breadwinner. Period.

Whether head of the home or not,
Marriage belongs to women

Family is being overseas and handle by women

Children are made for women, while women are made for men

A man's life in both happiness and sadness is determined by his relationship with his woman

A woman is like the neck that carrys the head (husband) and the body (children)

So with this little points, what does a woman needs to be identified as the head of the family

Have you ever seen a woman contesting to be the Head of the family

You need to get married then you will understand better

End of discussion

NnolimNzubechi:
Hello Nairalanders

My mom died when I was 3 years, and I was the only child she had before she died.

It's been just me and My Dad since then, My childhood was a lonely one. My Dad is 39 years while me am 19years, I will be 20 next year. My dad was young when my mom gave birth to me.

Now my problem is that, despite my age my dad still cages me, he doesn't give me freedom and he doesn't allow me to keep friends, any time he sees me talking with a male friend, he will tell me he doesn't want to see me with anybody, I can't be out side when time done pass 6pm oo or else Na wahala.

At 19 years I can't boast of 1k cos am always staying at his shop, and the thing is driving me crazy. As a man, checking my account balance and seeing (N0.00) dey make me sad, and I don't know how to tell him that I want to stop going to his shop and start a hustling for myself.

I just finished my secondary school and I thought he would give me some free hand but for where?? He gets more strict as time as goes on and its making me hate him. And my dad is a very hot tempered man, he nor dey understand at all at all. Am even tired of staying with him, I have been with him since 19 years, travel he nor dey gree make I travel.

My question is, will he ever stop being like this? I don't want any one to delay me in my life cos it seems it's what he is trying to do, i want to be wealthy at a young age. Being broke makes me feel less of a man.

Please mods move to fp,before I go run commot for house

I was expecting to read where you will state that you have started jamb classes or to state that you made your waec and your papers are cleared

Tell him to register you for lessons and you want to get a Jamb form

Face your academics seriously because that's the only way you will break free from him

By the time you get admission, you will have the freedom you desire

But bear in mind that, he is just being over protective of you as you don't have a mum to guide you too

By the time he gets another wife and she starts bearing children, your dreams of getting to school will be affected

If you don't want to go to school, get a skill and learn

jaxxy:
If u know u can’t respect ur husband don’t marry him. It’s very simple.

Ask Funke alakija. Marriage is not by force. Many women are doing baby mama now, it’s an option for women who feel money is what determines their respect.

Mind u women have always been co providers from historic days by farming and other things so there is nothing new about women providing for their home.

A wife is not chef and baby factory only.

If u like make N1billion a month u must still respect ur husband. If u have problems with respecting him don’t marry him at all. Simple.

The contest here is providing for the family not about respect or no respect

If a man can't provide and can't help, what does he nerd the respect for ?

When a man subjects a woman to play his roles in the family and the man is OK lazing around, what's the essence of giving him respect

Women gives respect to men especially those that deserves it

As for baby mama, it's not byeforce to marry a woman you got impregnated

That's why we have baby mama and baby dady

As far as nature has bond women with children, they are not the one loosing

Women must always get love and care from the public and her children

NemoDatQuod:
I thought the context of this conversation is that the wife will be the bread winner for the man to become a house husband i.e a woman who has a carreer and would not mind her husband staying home. Without that, it will require a man who has already made the money he needs. But then it questions the entire arrangement as I don't know what the wife will be doing. I am not and have never been a fan of a woman who does nothing. Men and women were created equal and endowed with the ability to think and work hard and be the best they can be. So I have never understood why a woman won't be able to excel as much as she wants. I grew up with women who excelled and continue to excel in whatever they chose to pursue including my mum and my sisters. Same for the man. I don't and won't hang out with " urgent 2K" women.
As I stated earlier, I won't have a problem with doing the house work. I will actually enjoy it including inculcating the right values to my kids. There is great joy in doing that. My overarching point is that being a provider does not necessarily mean providing money. There are more important things than money that a man can provide and most of these things are lost while the man is busy hustling for money.

All you said were correct

The topic is about the house husband but you know that for a man that be a house husband, probably he is not making it at his place of work and decides to be the house husband

A lazy man can't be a house husband, it will expose his laziness

Same thing I s applicable with women

I also believe that house husband or wife does more jobs than the breed winer

Catastrophic:
@frozen70

Good morning ma. Pls I've pasted the name.

Did you get alert of the money I promise to send this evening

perambulator:
excuse me, you are shifting the goalposts. A house husband by my understanding is a man who has accepted that is his permanent role in the family.

The goal post can still be shifted if that will make a goal to the post

perambulator:
excuse me, you are shifting the goalposts. A house husband by my understanding is a man who has accepted that is his permanent role in the family.

When ever you see a man as a house husband, na condition bend crayfish

jaxxy:
Do not marry a Man U cannot respect for who he is and not what he is

Nobody should boss anybody bt the man is the boss.

Since the man is the boss, let him provide all without expecting any assistance from the woman

Who does that ?

Is being a boss an achievement.?

Akuruoulo:
Nope . They acquired it through divorce or death of the husband. If a woman makes money on her own, then the husband must remain irrelevant . Do u knw the husband of most rich women ?

This your assessment is wrong, especially the first paragraph

Bennysam:
Are you still fooling around? Your mother is indeed childless if you're her only child

E pain you, lol

jaxxy:
Yes they humbled themselves and supported their wives by their wives humbled themselves too not dictating or controlling the man and home like some of u little girls are bent on trying to do.

These ladies u mention still did and still do their wifey duties despite arriving not telling the man to go to the kitchen since they earn more.

U young ladies should learn and have sense. Marry Sm1 u respect not because of he has more money than u bt for other qualities he’s has.

Don’t F00l with small money than u will insult because u suddenly have more money than him or he’s out of job.

Ladies and women of these days go for a man that has self respect and they also struggle to make their own money so that the burden of family will be less to carry and they also contribute

But the man should learn not to boss her no woman wants such from a man, even if she has nothing to bring to the table

Both parties should just respect themselves

Akuruoulo:
I HAVE WATCHED THIS MOVIE BEFORE. BUT DID THEY MAN HIRE A HOUSEHELP AT LAST ?

I never knew it was even in a script

Akuruoulo:
I KNW THIS KIND FAMILY IN MY STREET WHERE THE MAN GOES TO SCHOOL RUNS, FARM, OTHER CHORES OF HIS CHOICE BUT DOESN'T COOK, YET THEY ARE STILL STRUGGLING. THE ONLY PROPERTY THEY HAVE IS THE ONE ACQUIRED BY THE MAN WHEN ALL WAS MOVING FINE FOR HIM. ITS NOT EASY FOR A WOMAN TO BRING UP A FALLEN HUSBAND. THE MAN REMAIN IRRELEVANT NOR MATTER THE LEVEL THE WIFE MAKE HIM REACH. IF NA LIE CHECK ALL THE RICH WOMEN OF THE WORLD, ITS EITHER THEIR HUSBNDS ARE IRRELEVANT OR THEY ACQUIRE THEIR WEALTH THROUGH THEIR MAN.

Lol
Meaning that their wives makes fortune through them and the men becomes poor

Bennysam:
Hahahaha educated illiterate

That's exactly what you are

Catastrophic:
@frozen70

Good morning ma. Pls I've pasted the name.

The money has been sent to your account, pls confirm if you received it. I hope by tomorrow morning you will pay the fees in the school and get set for the exams

I wish you good luck, don't lose hope, God is there for you and your family

Just be focus and be serious with whatever you do in life

You will surely get there, if you don't derail

perambulator:
any man that cant provide for his family is not worthy of being a husband. You have to also question a woman willing to marry a man who cant provide.

If every woman doesn't want to marry a man because he can't provide, people will bear children at a very old age, yet the problem isn't solved

Yes a woman can still get married to a man that is yet to get something doing in the condition that the man has vision

The man may he focused but yet to get his bearing

A man gets married and doors starts opening

Any man that is not realy lazy must have something doing no matter how small

udemzyudex:
Wrong,most women will still nag for being the one providing everything even when the husband is a house-husband, we have seen cases of women after providing for some months begin to Insult and do all sort of things to their husband just because they are no the breadwinner of the house.

So how then do you assume anything sort of that will lead to a trouble marriage? The fact is, even if the husband submit himself or not, as long as he is no longer the breadwinner, there will always be trouble.

That's exactly the same reason why men are still struggling till old age because they don't want a woman to play their roles for them, only to still insult them because they can no longer provide

jaxxy:
We are know there’s nothing like house husband. It doesn’t exist. Embarrass and degrade ur husband at ur own peril and expense of ur marriage.

A man is not forced into a role that’s unnatural to him, he can only take it if he wants or agrees with it.

Nobody forces a woman to do hard labor jobs/chores in the house.




Go and ask Funke alakija.

It’s funny how rich women have respect for their husbands and gals who make small money want to turn their husbands into houseboys. It’s the marriage that will suffer at the end of ur misadventures.

Mrs Alakija Excelled because her husband gave her the support

Okonjo iweala excelled because her husband gave her all the support she needed

Dora Akunyili excelled because the husband stood by her and gave her the support she needed

All these world powerful women I mentioned, how often do you hear about their husbands

Incase you don't know, such men humbled themselves from day one and gave their wives wings to Soar like eagles and bring fortunes home

emonis88:
Even if dat man agrees to b d house husband , na una go still complain. Our oldmen used to say that any man a woman is feeding, that man il soon grow a hunched back.

A woman is nit meant to keep a man at home and feed him

If a man fashions his life that a woman will feed him in marriage, of course he will grow a hunch back because that's where her food goes

Ko

NemoDatQuod:
I completely disagree. We Nigerians ONLY focus on money, money, money when it comes to being a provider. That is why we have families in turmoil all over the place.
A man can provide guidance and direction to his children every day, do the school runs twice a day, teach the kids how to take care of themselves and teach them in words and deeds the values and principles that result in living a successful life, and I am not talking about money ( you can live in a room and parlour apartment with your wife and kid in erm say Okokomaiko and still be very successful. It's all about your mindset). It is only in impoverished societies that money becomes the yardstick for everything. Success means being a decent human, a kind, considerate and empathetic individual who respects everyone around him or her regardless of societal status or wealth and someone who is in tune with his creator. That is success. I actually think more men should stay home and provide these for their kids where possible. Look around you. Men are going about trying to make money(what do you guys call it - hustle), sometimes 24/7 and their children end up growing up in the "wild" while having the comfortable things of life. But they become beasts that are eventually unleashed on society. When they gang up and join cults even before they are teenagers and kill their fellow student, we all shout " but he is from a rich home and has been provided for". No! Money and the comforts of life are the very least things that kids need to grow up as well adjusted adults. As for me, I will jump at the opportunity to be a house husband if it presents itself(naturally the woman will be a humble, self respecting and loyal one, else kasala go burst). I have worked at all levels of the corporate world in every continent on earth and I have arrived at the same conclusion the great King Solomon arrived at: it is all in vain! We pursue honour and glory at the expense of the things that truly matter. I'm only glad I understood this while still a young man.

No one is laying emphasis on money in this particular topic

But if you mean to say that money shouldn't come in, how will the children go to school, pay for test books

How possible is it to leave in a tented apartment with our paying rent

How do you get food stuffs and keep for the family without buying it with money

How do you cloth yourself without buy clothes

What else do you think we need at home that we don't need money to buy it

It's still in the same cooky-jar, if you can't hustle to keep the family going be you man or woman, humble yourself and do the house work

Bennysam:
Who even like this your comment?

Lol, people like you won't understand the meaning

Smoketight:
Good Day everyone I need your thought and advice and some bashing too,

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years, we have had our ups and down, she is helpful in every way, she has her own job and doesn't ask much from me, she helps me financially when ever I am broke,

Trouble started when I met my sister's friend I told my sister that I liked her friend and she should help me talk to her just for the flings oh nothing serious because of my girlfriend at home please, she said no problems she did her job and the friend agreed, we started talking and getting to know each other, she comes to visit me over the weekends ( we live in different town but not so far from each other) I will lodge her in a nice hotel room while I sneak out from the house when my girl is probably sleeping or sometimes I just make up stories, anything for me to get out of the house just to be with my new babe.

My new girl is sweet, her head game is scecond to none, she gives me Olosho vibes
When ever we do the other things,
I kept her in that hotel for 3 weeks,
When our little vacation was over she went back to her home and called me to tell me she is pregnant for me, I did my calculations and I might be the father of the unborn baby,

My girlfriend at home has never been pregnant for me before now,
While my new girl is full of drama since she got pregnant, she calls me every night, I asked her not to call she refused to listen, she said I can't get her pregnant and stay far from her she is suggesting she moves in with me or I relocate to her town and that is impossible because if my business and my girl.

My sister that introduced her to me is not helping at all she is fighting and pushing her friend to me, she doesn't like my girl, my sister said my girlfriend insulted told her that her hair smells(women) She also said my girlfriend told her she wont have a baby until I her dowry, my sister also said my girlfriend has been pregnant in the past and had an abortion without my knowledge. My sister my mother want this new girl all my mother wants is a child from me because I am her only son.

One day my sister brought the pregnant girl to my house this happened this Monday I lied to my girlfriend that she is a family friend, my girl been the nice person she is she made food for her to eat. I didn't even sleep that night.
Things has not been the same for me I I stress alot I can't function like I used to I have lost alot of weight, I managed to open up to my girl tho, I am willing to pay her dowry now if she gives me the concenst, I don't want to lose her, the pregnant girl is willing to keep the baby while I make plans for a new apartment, right now she is in a new hotel, my girl has left me and and her number is not connecting, Dear friends please what do I do? Help

Since you love your girlfriend, you can keep her as a baby mama while you reconcile with your girlfriend

Watch the both relationships and you will get to pick one out of the two irrespective of who have a child for you

By the time you decide on who yo marry, you take your family to her family and pay her bride price

You brought the problem yourself, so don't allow any one influence your choice of wife

Those soldier ants are terrible invaders so always keep snipper out of the reach of children

You can also use fuel but for me, I will use snipper, I don't care what will pick those ants as food

cocu25:
Pls help there's an ant hill growing close to my fence, how do I get rid of it. It's getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Get one of the local guys or hausa guys to dismantle it

Timekeeper:
1. Is the essence of marriage no longer important to people?

2. Did the lady made a mistake by getting pregnant for an irresponsible man?

3. Is the lady so irresponsible that the man can live up with her, hence they separated?

4. Is it the unreadiness of both couples?

5. By mistake?

6. By choice

7. Death of a partner?


So sad seeing so many pretty ladies turned single Parent and I feel so bad.... These ladies should be wives and not single Parents...

Married people, abeg why the rise in single parenting these recent days?

Being a single parent is not a stigma on the person

As we have single mothers so the father of that child is also a single parent

Any thing and every thing can lead to single parenthood, even ordinary lack of manners

Marriage is for matured minds

Marriage is nit ordinary friendship

When in friendship, you can kick any obstacles out, just for you to have your right of way

But in marriage, you can't really kick it out, you have to, take that obstacles with caution

johnchins:
I'm not someone who likes showing himself, I live a very low key life. When I bought my car, it took a very long time for most of my friends to even know I had a car, yes its my first car. If you don't see me drive it, you will never know I own one cos the picture of the car has never appeared in my FB or WhatsApp status. I'm that Conservative. If I take that car home today, it will require a lot of observations to correctly point out which of the brothers owns the car.

As I said before, the only reason I'm travelling with it, is that there will be a lot of running around with the car.

OK, that's fine

Catastrophic:
@frozen70

Good morning ma. Pls I've pasted the name.

I know, I will do that this evening

Olaoluwa112:
The girl is just stupid, ffk get power, knows people.


You don't mess with people like him, if not for money, will she even think of dating someone like him in the first place?

Women are just stupid, the same man has found another girl like that o, that one too will start emotional blackmailing after them dump her ass.

Mumu people everywhere.

Point of correction, women are not mumu, learn to respect words when you want to use it on people

If women are mumu, then you have one at home

Opeyemiextra:
You are so right. There are women playing the roles of husband and theirs together without complains. This is where most of the trouble come.

That's true,
But you see those men that allow pride to rule their lives, they are having it hot hot from their wives

Most married men who can't provide the way their wives does, helps them at home and you won't hear or know, as a matter of fact, he doesn't keep friends because he doesn't want them to mock him

Before you know it, the family is a happy family

Because of his loyalty at home, the wife can raise him up with a business or UBER

Xilsbridalhouse:
Oh wow! Thank you soooo muchhhh!!! God bless you.

Secondly, I thought grinding the Egusi with Crayfish would make it smooth and not form balls, it’s this true ?

If you want those balls, roll it into lumps into the soup or fry the egusi with little meat stock mixture

Frank25:
its fucking true mehn!!!

Not with that size