₦airaland Forum

NovesaTillie:
I moved to this city because of my new job and my neighbors have been very homely and helpful to me especially the ones next flat,a young man and his wife with a kid . They have been very kind to me, sometimes when I get home late from work his wife calls me to join them for dinner and hangouts.

My issue now is I am beginning to grow fond of the man because of how gentlemanly he treats his wife and how dotting he is of their son. He ticks all the qualities that I dream of and sometimes I just feel like inviting him over to my place when his wife is out to tempt him a little.

What can I do to stop this feeling?
I don't want someone else man or to destroy a cute family.

Please don't insult me because I am in a relationship though it's a young relationship and I cherish my man I just see myself falling for this neighbor.

If you don't mind going to bed with him, then you will succeed in tempting him and just that alone, will calm your nerves

But what you should be asking yourself is, will it be just once ?

Promiseibritam:
Hiii everyone
Please � I need a very good suggestion thanks �

We are three 3 good friends (Male)

One of my friend lost his mom early this year.

And his mom will be Buried on 23rd of December.

Please I want every one here to suggest for me a very good Donation that I can Donate on the planning Committee.
I'm one of his planners.

I also need a very good suggestion on a very special thing that I can give to him in Remembrance of his late Mom.

Thanks everyone.
Your suggestions are all welcome.

#Lala
#Mynd
Plsss it urgent...

If he is comfortable and can foot the burial bills, get a souvenir in cartons or dozens and give him to share

If he has realy helped you in life, gi e him 200k to buy cow

If he is just on the average, supply about 5 can packs of malt and beer each

Mumben:
Spot on. Personally, I feel more at home with my birth family. I feel no one can understand you better than d family you were born into. My opinion

That's exactly what I mean, the woman's families understands them more than the man's family and they feel free with them

Timekeeper:
I noticed that we all tends to blame women anytime there is a crash in a marriage.. Everyone quickly assume that the woman is/was the reason the marriage couldn't work.. You start seeing different assumptions like she cheats on her husband, she is beautiful but doesn't have character, she keeps malice too much, she can't cook, she doesn't respect my family and so on..
Kindly note that all these assumptions happened without hearing from the woman side but we all bliv na the woman cause am... A guy said this on nairaland and u quote "beauty gives woman a home and character takes it away".
My question is, what of a wicked and irresponsible man?
What if a good woman marries a devil in disguise?
Do we still blame the woman for the inability to manage a toxic home?
Do we still she needs to endure the bitterness bcox she is a woman?
Is it only the women responsibility to keep the home even whne the husband is not ready for a home?
Who holds the husband responsible for his actions?

I think there needs to be a balance... We should not put the failure of a marriage on the woman's shoulder. It could have been the devil she married.

I come in peace. Good morning

In some situations, the blame are always shifted to the woman because they believe their son is a perfect man and with that, they don't want to know anything about the woman other than she is the cause of the problem

But when they take time to listen to the woman and discovered that it's the man's fault
They go under the carpet and keep quiet and that's when they will know that the woman have been through a lot of things

Mumben:
I have come to realize that oftentimes, many married women prefer to spend time with their kids in their own ancestral home than in their husband's home especially during the festive period.

When you ask some, they say they trust their people more than their husband's people. Infact, to some, when they travel home for Christmas, they spend most of the time and days in their fathers house and the argument is always that spending too much time in the husband's family side is tantamount to putting d children in harm's way but when it comes to their own side, they argue that d coast is always clear.

To d fathers here, is it something to worry about if ur wife falls into this category?

To d mothers, what is ur take on this matter?
Matured responses pls

The truth about this issue is that, married women are more comfortable with their own families than their husband families, because of family games and envy

So it's up to the man to follow her home just to make her happy, not that the man is comfortable with it

Cashsteady:
I quited religion a long time ago after I discovered church is just a money grabbing business organization...


And also thought of how less religious countries are the most developed and how religious countries are the poorest.. after this I quited religion and stop believing in anything religion..



My parents noticed I stopped going to church, they called me and ask me why, I told them plain I was an atheist.
They couldn't believe their ears and told me they will never allow that happen on their watch, the issue even caused serious problem between me and them. My dad even invited is pastor to do deliverance for me. Still didn't change my decision. Till now my parents won't let me rest because I said I was an atheist.



Why is it hard for people to just respect people's decision? This shit is really annoying have got some couple's of fraudsters called pastor's who tried to talk to me but still I told them no.!

So far you have made up your mind to be an atheist, make sure you marry a woman who is an atheists and involve your children too

Denvacandy:
Seriously i am getting a mixed feelings and i think i should pour this out, i just finished my HND program and i struggle to finish, i am the last born of the family and i have 2 elder brother who are nothing close to being serious in life.

I create a goal in my school days and immediately after school i secure a job with it and i am earning and living fine.

Recently i had to leave my apartment in school and come down to my parent house just for another goal set again and my goal plan is working very good.

My mum has seen a very drastic change in my lifetsyle and the way i do things now, money don come lol

i even now give her monthly pay for food and within the month i buy allot of things just a normal thing for me.

Now the problem is, shes not happy with the way i am earning more than my brothers and how successful my brand has grown.

Most times when we argue, she start saying " have i not seen someone who earn low and make it better than someone who is earning big " all this things turns me off.

I feel shes suppose to be happy as i am not dependent on her for anything, and even now that i am doing back to the house, but no.

Can someone explain this or if you have any similare experience about this thanks

I am surprised to hear this kind of thing from a biological mum.

Get an accommodation and move out from their eyes, but always transfer money to your mum, don't confront her about your observations, just be watching her

Behave as if you don't know what's happening

Stay a bit far from them so that they won't know your levels and moves

CastedAyo:
Nigerian musician and entrepreneur 2Face has asked people to believe whatever they hear about him from others, Igbere TV reports.

The 46-year-old singer in an Instagram story on Thursday said he no longer has time to explain himself to anyone.

The post which is a quote reads;

https://instagram.com/stories/official2baba/2714745844404496628?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&utm_medium=share_sheet

This comes after the father of seven defended his wife, Annie Idibia against critics who accused her of creating a burner account and sending a message to Justin Idibia, son of 2face’s baby mama Pero Adeniyi.

I love this statement
Every mouth will keep quiet about him now
Wahala too much

Breeze111:
Early this year, my babe broke up with me. According to her, she told me there is a man who is asking her hand for marriage and her parent has already giving her the go ahead to marry d man..

She told me the man is rich and promise to buy her car, bla-bka-bla so I told her there is no problem, she can go ahead since am not ready yet after all am just a shoe-maker still waiting for my NYSC...

Bt of lately like last two weeks this babe started disturbing me that we should come and she is sorry... Well I don't know how she get to know that my mum lent me 600k to start up, of wish am doing well now by his "Grace" and at the same time serving my country presently...

So according to her, she say the man just only wanted to sleep with her and because she refuse and told the man to wait till after their wedding the man broke up with her...as it stands now I don't really know what to do...

I think she played a fast one for you to commit your relationship with her that's why she fronted an invisible man as a proposed suitor

Well you can still go back to her but be very careful not to pregnant her or propose marriage to her if you know that you are not yet ready

LoverJoe89:
Dear NLs,

I need help with my predicament. I just discovered a lounge where I normally hang out to watch sports and chill. Apparently the lounge also has a Spa that is managed by this beautiful married lady who is a mother of 3 children that are in University and one in final year of secondary school. I started crushing on this woman for some time now and I cant seem to take my mind of her. She is a tall, dark stallion with nice hips, ass and a very sweet voice.

We got talking the moment I went to her Spa to make some inquiries about her spa services and whether she runs home service as well. Along the line, she gave me her contact details and we have been chatting frequently. The thing is that I am madly in love with her but I don't know how to express my feelings and desires towards her.

I don't intend snatching her from her husband but I just want to have a romantic relationship with her but don't know how I will go about it.

I am a graduate in my mid 20s from Leed City University Ibadan with a degree in Engineering. I don't usually have issues in getting women but this has posed much of a challenge to me because I am deeply in love with a married woman.

Thoughts of her sometimes drives me to masturbation and it's driving me nuts. Please I need help on this matter.

What you are experiencing is normal
But you have to be careful
At your current age, you should know your boundaries

But bear in mind that the moment you sleep with her, those feelings will go away

There should be a standard to the kind of woman that you want

If at age 20yrs you are dying for a married woman,
At age 30/40yrs,you will snatch a married woman from her husband

CuriousMynd:
A Nigerian man has revealed what she did to a lady whom he flew out of the country for a vacation in another country, Igbere TV reports.

On Twitter, the man identified as Mullah said he paid for the lady's flight and booked a hotel for them to stay in while they enjoy their vacation. However, when the said lady wouldn't sleep with him in the same bed, he had to fast forward the lady's return to the country.

Read the full gist;

https://twitter.com/MullahCo/status/1458896477523165185

What do you think about this whole situation?

The man doesn't even have plans for his future, just wasting money on something that has no investment value

For a man to take a trip with a woman, that woman shouldn't be a one chance, but someone whom you have dated and still dating

TeamLeader:
If I withdraw the money what do you think would happen pls because I did not apply for it

If its a small money, you can withdraw and watch what will happen after that

Mariangeles:
Only ladies who don't value themselves agree to be second wives.

It has nothing to do with values

Some women have their reasons for being a second wife

It could be for the sake of getting married to the man they so much love and can't do without, despite that he already have another girl who is pregnant for him or already had a child for him

The man could be so caring and loving and no woman wants to leave such a man, rather she will accept another woman to share the man with

It could be just to bear the name and cover shame

Whatever the reasons, is the same reasons a man wants to go ahead to marry two women same day

The most important thing is that, they have all agreed to leave, with love and peace

Loreettaa:
So I've been having stretchmarks on my boobs, faint lines, that sometimes fade off. I'm fair skinned and when it shows, I fear other people can see it too.
What causes it?

Once you rubb bleaching cream, it must trigger stretch mark and before you know it, it will be so big and old then start tiring and becomes visible

Getdabag:
Judges go fvck this one tire

So after her mum and her parent inlaws influenced her position to that post,
Then she will be sleeping about with Judges

It's time you start reasoning maturely

YourWriter:
In reference to the post which I made last two weeks https://www.nairaland.com/6834344/love-im-scared
Here is the update.

I let my feelings known to her telling her how much I love her but unfortunately, the love is unrequited. She told me she's not ready for a relationship due to some personal reasons.
I so much feel heartbroken right now.
We move!

Is alright, you will always have another woman to love

Kobojunkie:
I pray to God but even I know that based on the rules He set forth regarding prayer, not all kinds of prayers are accepted by Him.

Is alright

Kobojunkie:
But God,from all indications, is not the one on the other side of the transaction though.

God never asked you for your wedding ceremonies or your child dedications. Seeing that what you do has nothing to do with what God asked you to, how do you then conclude that God is on the other side receiving anything you shove at Him?

Do you pray, if yes, who do you pray to?

Joyceaile:
My thoughts though, just wondering why church wedding has being made mandatory to new couples, Some elders told me it’s a white man's belief, that the most important is the dowry paid to the parents of the girl and the traditional, then to legally show or proof you are married, the court wedding comes in whereby you are handed the certificate of marriage.

So why the craze for the white wedding? Educate me, I am open to learning.

Is like asking if child dedication is important

We have to hand everything to God

fernandoc:
Chieftaincy title without a wife. Turning tradition upside down cos of overexciment and money.

It's in appreciation of his performance

Do you want him to marry over night because of his traditional award ?

It's simply a title of recognition

Yillyhood:
Hi guys, something is really bothering me and I feel like I should share it. I will try as much as possible to make it brief, please don't mind my grammars.

Me and my girlfriend have known each other for quite some time now, like 4years now we have been dating. We love each other no doubt.

After she graduated, she went to learn a trade hair stylist precisely, since work seems impossible and her dream is to own a salon. Well, I work from home, and I earn cool money too, so it's easier for her not to face the hard economy since I pay her money for upkeep monthly.

We don't live close, I live in Lekki and she lives on the mainland with her mum, and each time she has a problem either personally or for her family sake, she runs to me. Well that's not my problem, since I know they really have no one to help them, so I try as much as possible to satisfy her. I must say, she is loyal, decent and respectful but one thing I don't like about her is keeping things to herself, even if she will tell me it's small.

Yesterday, she chatted me and explained that her elder brother in the hospital needs to pay 45k before he can be discharged, I'm aware he his very sick (Typhoid) and hospitalized. She told me their mum already gathered 20k and doesn't know where to get the rest and asked if I can help her with anything, I asked her if 25k is the problem and if I give her she will be fine and she said yes. Well, I transferred her the 25k immediately for the discharge, in about 30mins she called and requested for my account number that she want to refund me 5k, that her mum only collected 20k, so I told her not to worry, she should add it to the money I already sent her previously for her upkeep for the month.

Note: You might be wondering why I'm giving her money lavishly, yes we will be getting married next year, the month hasn't be chosen from both family yet, but they see us as couples already, her mum allows her visit me for days and also visit my mum frequently.

Back to the main reason I opened this topic, sincerely I don't like stress, I love being indoor and spending my money quietly, whenever I want to go out and I don't like traveling to long distance, before man and God have only visited her in her place twice since 2017, I was there in 2018 and again this month 2021. She understands, so she come over to my place each time she wants us to see, she visits twice every month and spends atleast 3days.

I don't want her mum to feel bad or to think her daughter is forcing herself to a man, so I decided to help her whenever she needs help.

The main reason I opened this topic is because the 25k I gave her, I told her to give to her mum, I didn't say she should tell her I borrowed her, but she went ahead and told her I borrowed her mum the money and she has to return it before 5th of next month.

When she told me yesterday I thought she was joking but I discovered she wasn't joking when she told me not to try to tell her mum I didn't borrow her.

Her mum have been calling me since last night and I couldn't pick but I can't pick because I feel guilty. I picked this afternoon, and after thanking me, she promised to pay me back on the 5th of next month. How do I tell this woman I didn't borrow her, she is a struggling woman with 4 kids trying to keep up with their daily needs, and her business is nothing to write home about.

I'm so pissed of with my girlfriend right now, and I just sent her some annoying, insulting text right now, because I was angry.

The truth is her mum has never seen me, the twice that have visited their house she wasn't home, but we talk on phone a lot. I don't want her to feel like her daughter has been seeing me without being married to me yet I have the guts to say I'm borrowing her money. I also asked my girlfriend and she said she has reasons of doing that, but she refused to tell me. It's really upsetting me.

Please what should I do? Or should I just ignore them both?

@Mynd44
@lalasticalala

Whatever her reasons, she shouldn't have said that you borrowed her the money

Make a conference call between the three of you and scold her before her mum

Who knows what else she told her mum

You have to bail yourself out and warn her not to use your head next time because you will disgrace her

That will put a stop to future nonsense

QueenDilinna:
My Nairaland family,
Please help me for my daughter's case. We have done a lot, biopsy and six months constant medication and all yielded no results. All manner of traditional medicine have been prescribed. It has spread all over her body. I am emotionally drained. House please help me.

Do you live in a new site where sunflys bites because it could be a bite from such things

Icouldhave:
I just can't help myself, right since I was a little kid. I get jealous easily.

I want everything to be just me alone, I want to be the one to have money then give it out to people.

I hate it when people gives me money, it anolds me, makes me feel less.


Please how do I contain this attitude of mine.


Ps

I don't do bad.

Neither do I do evil.

I just want to be the one running everything in my family or any place I find myself.

I want to be the number one guy


I want to be the giver always

This is the handwork of a jealous and wicked mind

Your type may grow up to be one of the wicked uncles we hear about

I don't intend to insult you but I just explained things the exact way they are

You just have to fight that spirit in you before it takes over you

There is no competition in life but remember that blessings comes from God not man

Chuky7:
A neighbor of mine not married stayed single has children out of wedlock I once asked him why he said his family believe that as far as you can take care of them no problem. he believes in going the unconventional way as marriage no too dey favor man. you pay bride price all bills are on you. you take care of your new family. but as a non married man his only concern are the kids and the baby mama.

What do you think of this lifestyle. I dey reason am.

It's not a death sentence for a child born out of wedlock nothing really changes just traditions you are conditioned to for no reason.

Well to me, is not the best practice

In some families, if you don't do the needful, that child or children, belongs to the woman's family because no bride price was paid

In other families if the woman dies, you must marry her by doing the proper thing before she will be buried

If his plans are to avoid bills and the rest that's why he keeps a baby mama, No problem, another man will still help him do the needful on his woman
At least he did not make a marriage commitment on her head so she is free to keep other men the same way he is having other women

You can't be avoided yam, yet you love eating pounded yam

Reader530:
I received message from GTB. I was given account number from GTB and I was asked to go any branch and activate it.

I received same on Monday but I ignored it because people can do unimaginable things online

So pls ignore it, we are not really sure of the source

Befulfilled:
My head is not thinking right right now cos I'm going through a lot. I was in dire need of money for hospital bill when someone sent me some money due to my cries. Using ATM to withdraw it, I was debited but not dispensed. Going to 3 months now, the bank has not refunded. That money was to save a life but bank played politics with it.

What are my chances if I sue them for damages?

Minus the cost of paying a Lawyer and tell me your balance out of that 2000

hermionepotter:
Hello, guys. For the past two weeks I've been getting bitten on my bed by invisible insects. I've tried and checked for everything; bedbugs, biting midges, mosquitoes. I've cleaned and disinfected my entire room, and yet it continues. I've searched the mattress and even torn it open and I've not found even one single insect. It became so terrible I had to spray insecticides on my bed before I could sleep. But I still wake up with bite marks.

My friend thinks the dry cleaner I give my clothes who hand-washes it might have used juju on my bedsheet or something. We are in Nigeria so we all know this is possible. Also, I started refusing to give her foodstuff and other things because she kept asking for more. Please help.

Depending on your area, it could be sunfky that entered your room through the window nets

Amotolongbo:
There is nothing bad marrying a man with lower income, but make sure the man is a very ambitious man and not a man not ready to step up his game and income.

You have said it all

Znation:
Hello nairalanders

Some people may say i'm lucky and would want to be in my position, but i really need ur advice..

My girlfriend mum have a very big provission shop, and u all know how it feels (that joy) to have such person daughther as your girlfriend.

She loves me so much that she can give me money, food stuff, all for free from their shop. infact, i don't even spend a kobo to buy anything again. All i do is just go to their shop, & collect whatever i want.

If i meet her mum when i want to buy something, i'll pay her. But if i give her N500, she will give me change of even N2000 and ask me to go. And i don't argue with her so that her mum won't notice. I will just collect the money and go.

If i call her on phone that i'm hungry, only God can tell the things she will bring for me withing just 20 minutes of calling her..

She's spending so much on me, and i think i need advice.

I thought i was a lucky man b4, but the thing is too much 4 me.

nairalanders, What should i do?

Continue to put your head into it until you get trapped or get to point of no return

misterme:
And I am very very angry. Gas I used to buy 2800, then 3k, 4k, and 5k. Suddenly it jumped to 7500 and now (today) 9250 in Port Harcourt. I am very very angry. Let no one here disturb me with nonsense news about Buhari and his nonsense South Africa Trade fair and nonsense. No cross me today o. I fit beat person

The gas finished yesterday. I told my wife that yesterday that I will buy the gas today because I needed to get to work and somehow raise money to augment what I have to be able to buy the gas. I told her to use the kerosene stove that yesterday and this morning. Guess her reply? She said she can't use kerosene even for a day. That even her Mum in the village does not use kerosene stove. She said a few other unprintable things.
For the sake of my 3 children I still had to buy the gas today.

I had not eaten in my house for a month now. The reason is that she said that they money I gave her for upkeep in October was not enough (I give her 62.5% of my monthly salary every month for our home upkeep). As a result she refused to give me food from around the middle of the month when she said the money had finished. She cooked for herself and the children (possibly from her own salary). When I gave her upkeep money for this month I told her not bother keeping food for me so that the money will go far enough. That's where we are till now. I have no intention of ever eating her food until she acknowledges that she was wrong and apologizes.

Now I know this WON'T happen. She will rather die than admit she's wrong or apologize. This is why I know that the mistake of a marriage is heading for the rocks and I am ready for it. Nonsense and ingredients. I have endured this nonsense for 15 years. I am done. Anything whe won happen tomorrow, make e happen today.

For the fact that you gives her 62% of your salary and it doesn't go round, it's obvious that dge doesn't even add her penny there
. Now you stopped eating and still provide, yet she is comfortable with it

It's not healthy for both of you you may be planning to sort yourself out and live your life

While she is also planning her own ways

Pls both of you should come to the table and discuss your ways out

Most unresolved problems in marriage are major part of what lead to separation and divorce

Barrister026:
My wife attitudes towards food she cooked with my money is getting on my nerves.

How can my wife be dishing food to me like she's serving it for our kids.times without number have complained but still no changes.

It's either she makes eba that won't satisfy us ( when they is enough garri available) her defense is that she don't want it to be wasted.

OR

She dished out soup for me with lesser meat like am a kid. Have told her several times when cooking..to buy enough protein in the soup or stew. But to my surprise she always economise the money and divert it into something else.

I even had to start buying suya in the evening when coming back from work, because I know what I be expecting when my food is dished out. ( Recent news we saw of how suya killed some families, made me limiit it)

Have ordered her on several occasions to take it back and put more protein, but must i always do that?

Please This is really getting out of hand, I really don't know how to handle this situation.

You need to seat her down, talk with her and find out if the money is enough to cook with enough protein

Or if she is saving the money, then good, how much has she saved and what she intend to do with it

While excess meat is not good, I don't think she is watching that aspect

You have to be specific on exactly what portions of meat that you are expecting per meal and your swallow portions

You also need to inform her that, if she doesn't want you to eat to your satisfaction at home, you will end up sorting yourself out

This shouldn't be an issue in the first place

blaise26abj:
I should advise her to mix up thereby agreeing with you and not countering you . Lol . You are funny gan.

I said what I said and I said it based on experience. if you don’t like it then that is not my problem . Is being introverted a bad thing ? Listening to one’s siblings about a perceived shortcomings of a partner and letting that affect the relationship/marriage is a big red flag to me . Especially when the partner is trying .

@Op - You are who you are and It is not a bad thing to be introverted. If he doesn’t see your efforts and encourage you , then he might not be your man .
A man that will let what his family says affect how he relates with his fiancée or wife is not ready for commitment . Shikena

It's easy to identify a bachelor and a married man
Have you forgotten that talk is cheap