we are talking of in the event that husband dies, how can he protect wife when he already? unless wife is being protected by law via registered marriage which give rights to remaining spouse which is the wife
It's obvious you don't understand what I mean by protect your wife before your family
Let's me explain more
Most families, wants to know if a man is in control if his wife
If he washes his wife's pants and bra
If he is a house boy to the wife or if he us the lion at home
If he takes orders from the wife or if he gives orders to his wife
You see, a married woman happiness in marriage lyes on the way her husband places valued on her
She is a stranger that ame to make a family with you and your siblings
They may not want her type but for the fact that she us your choice protect her
All she wants is legally protection to what they will aquire as husband and wife in the event of the husband dies before her
Registered marriages were started after seeing abuse of culture and tradition whereby in the event of the death of the husband, the wife was not entitled to anything she would go back to her parents with nothing, Imagine you were married for 10 years, you aquired few properties together he suddenly dies are you not entitled to that wealth you built together? Whether wife was not formally working but cooking, looking after kids and looking after the house contributed to somewhere somehow to gathering of the wealth you ended up having
We take car insurance not becoz we want to get involved in accidents but in the event of an accident i get money to cover the value of my damaged car
So it the same with a registered marriage its an insurance cover to what you contributed to the marriage in the event of divorce or death, only a fool would feel normal to let go to what your contributed over years
Pension fund is also another good example would you want to walk away with nothing after working for company for 25 years No government policy forces employers to have pension funds for it workers
its not about gauranting her marriage but a protection by law in case of two worse out comes divorce and death
It is the duty of the man to protect his wife from the preys of the family
If you mess up with your wife your family will do same to her
If you prove to your family that my wife is my source of happiness, tgry will avoid her like corona
No woman goes into marriage to loose her husband
But in the event such happens, the family out to give her the assurance that she won't suffer, simple
Now how do you make that to work out, by protecting her from the family attacks and harassments by inlaws while you are alive
All she wants is legally protection to what they will aquire as husband and wife in the event of the husband dies before her
Registered marriages were started after seeing abuse of culture and tradition whereby in the event of the death of the husband, the wife was not entitled to anything she would go back to her parents with nothing, Imagine you were married for 10 years, you aquired few properties together he suddenly dies are you not entitled to that wealth you built together? Whether wife was not formally working but cooking, looking after kids and looking after the house contributed to somewhere somehow to gathering of the wealth you ended up having
We take car insurance not becoz we want to get involved in accidents but in the event of an accident i get money to cover the value of my damaged car
So it the same with a registered marriage its an insurance cover to what you contributed to the marriage in the event of divorce or death, only a fool would feel normal to let go to what your contributed over years
Pension fund is also another good example would you want to walk away with nothing after working for company for 25 years No government policy forces employers to have pension funds for it workers
its not about gauranting her marriage but a protection by law in case of two worse out comes divorce and death
Mention how many cases the court treated like this before I will respond to your comment
budaatum: He said "who is behind the push on her" in his op. And I would not be surprised if her pusher was behind the first push too, and likely caused the third "problem come start again concerning the court marriage".
I would not have bothered if she were thinking this all up herself. But that "madam" really bothers me when I think of a marriage being "a union of 2 people voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others."
I think like you that she's working under the illusion that marrying in court "guarantees her the marriage", when the actual protection she seeks comes if she divorces in court wherever she marries.
For now she should be made to understand that the marriage will not hold again
Let's see if her brain will come back to factory reset
apprentist: Hello NLers This is a serious matter so I will appreciate very kind advice please.
I met my girl last mid last year and we started dating officially this year. We both work and earn and we were already in talks with her parents and mine to tie the knot this year. Most of our plans are looking sketchy now because of the COVID-19 pandemic and restriction of movement around. Making it impossible to go to her state or mine.
Early this month she used a pregnancy home test kit after she noticed some body changes and it came out positive. We both love ourselves madly but I am still not sure of the step to take now.
1. Should I go ahead and abort (sincerely, this scares me) 2. Should we keep the baby? Considering we're both financially earning. (But if we do, how do we go about the marriage rites with all these lockdown in Nigeria)
Pls NLers I need your advice. Presently I asked her move in with me due to her health as already mentioned. Please help
You are creating panic where there is no need
Her pregnancy doesn't stop your marriage plans
Her pregnancy have come to stay and make sure you don't abort it
Make sure you send money to take care of herself
If you want her to relocate it means you want her to resign
Kboyvic: I need advise please , she is insisting on court marriage without giving me a good reason why she wants us to go for court marriage before our white wedding/traditional.
Her silly comments Her first reason was incase something happen to me that my family will not push her out,
That cause we are not fro. The state.
Incase I leave her for another woman in future.
I talk to her what's the meaning of all the comment, u know I wouldn't do all this things ur saying, a lady have be in relationship with over 6years still have doubt. She cried all through out the night begging me I didn't accept.
In the morning we settled that and we are fine after giving her reason why I wouldn't do all that she mention.
Lately she came back telling me that her madam advise her to go for court marriage that it's very important, na here another problem come start again concerning the court marriage. If not for the lockdown our marriage is suppose to come by June.
Why am saying no to court marriage, am thinking she wants to act anyhow after we get married. I love her but she taking the court thing as claterial for u.
You see, she is taking the court marriage too personal as if it's going to guarantee her the marriage
I don't know her reasons but she may have something in her asernal
Find out who is behind the push on her
May be your family doesn't want her
May be because you guys are from different tribes
May be you guys have trust issues
Though court marriage has never guaranteed any woman her marriage
It's mainly a governmental prove of marriage for official purposes
Icare4uu: I feel bad dat I betrayed my mum she is not my birth mother but my uncle wife , the best woman who saved me 4rm my abusive mother , she took custody of me when I was 6 bcoz my mum was a drug addict sleeping around with men and she never cared about me, so it was my aunt who rescued me from her. She doesn’t have any children of her own but she had me and her stepson my uncle son from a previous relationship. She gave me the best life dat my own mother couldn’t give me and I alwyas respected her for that, my birth mum came back when I was 14 I didn’t like her bcoz she was controlling and manipulative she is always abusing my uncle wife bcoz she doesn’t have any children and she keep telling me not to respect my aunt , I used to tell her off and I keep avoiding her (my mum) but later she has succeeded in brainwashing me and turned me against my aunt. I hated my aunt , I started insulting her to the extend of slapping and calling her barren my aunt cried uncontrolled and curse me , I was 17 I didn’t really care about her anymore and before my uncle could get home , I packed my clothes and run away. I have been staying with my mum for the past 3 years , I have seen nothing good in her , she is not a good mother , she has 6 children but only 2 are staying with her ( my baby sister and I), she has abandoned my 4 brothers with their dads bcoz she doesn’t want male children , she she want me to be like her by sleeping with men , drinking and drugs because I have refuse dat lifestyles , we are quarrelling almost every day. I regrets leaving my family who loved me a lot just to be with her. I want to go back home to them and I have tried contacting my aunt to ask her to forgive me and she blocked me. I called my brother he said I should stop bothering him. I am scared to call my uncle bcoz the outcome will be worse. I am unhappy , tears has become my foods , I just hate my life , I hate my mum and I wants to die. Please how do I make my family to forgive me . Please help a sister. Thanks and sorry for the long post.
You have to move
You have to look for your family, forget about your mum, she only wants someone that will take over her illegal life style so that she will have a partner
Look for them wherever you can and go to them alone and seek for reconciliation, let them know that your mum instigated you
You may not be stable in life for she has placed a course on you and you need her to forgive and accept you back to her life and you can stay with her and win her back
Leave your mum she is in her own world and needs a deputy of which it's going to be you
Before then go to God in prayers and all will be well
Plan to get something doing and rescue your sister from your mum
creolehunt: I just thought about the girls I've been with and noticed a certain trend. This isn't even about the girls themselves who are excellent human beings, but their families.
First girl I dated revealed to me that the dad died of suspected poisoning and her family were chased out of the family house. Her eldest brother is an area boy while it seems things aren't working out for her other siblings.
The next ones dad was late too, one of her sisters is separated from her husband while the first son of nearly 40 has nothing doing.
The other ones history is that her dad is late too. The eldest sister is cohabiting with a man. They have 2 kids already without being married. Her other sisters bride price was just paid after having 3 kids with a man.
For the other one, her dad is late too, died quite early. The eldest sister is in her 30s and unmarried. Her other sister has 3kids for a man who she isn't married to and now they are separated. Things aren't just working for her people.
The one I just met recently told me her parents are late. Lost both of them to suspected poisoning within the space of one year.
I keep wondering if this is some sort of coincidence.
Every naija family is going through one turbulence or another
All are related to families and extended families
You too you have yours but because your dad is there, you hardly know much
Just pray to meet a woman who will not separate from you but live with you and give you joy
Some men have their own family wahala too, with one wicked uncle
If God's protection is on your family, you won't experience any
If Lagos can record that close to daily basis, what happens to Northern states like kano if this virus escalates there owing to their lifestyles and ignorance ?
That are my major fear for now.
Pls don't bother about them
Their governors boasted that they won't close borders
Not quite one week, kano covid-19 case came up and they are now feeling the pains of corona virus
They know fully well that their people can gather together like flys yet they weren't as serious as they ought to be
JasonJidenna: His recent behaviour can also be attributed to his romantic affairs with Matilda, your chicken. He's just trying to impress her.
My dog finds it so easy to embarrass me before the world, as I said before in one of the thread here, she's now a full-blown lesbian, and I am currently looking for buyers.
I Got complains of black men especially Nigerian (men) who hate giving their wives or girlfriends a head and they expect the (women) to give them a (BJ) . Guys defend yourselves (Do you give your babe a head ) Ladies (Do you love getting a head)
Some loving ones amongs them do
Those that attach alot to their pride and tradition doesn't
But they fail to understand that things are changing and you go with the trend
You must find a way to spice up your love life before it becomes outdated or boring
Family › Re: What To Do When A Woman Insist On Court Marriage by frozen70(f): 10:27pm On Apr 28, 2020
who hate giving their wives or girlfriends a head and they expect the (women) to give them a (BJ) 
. Guys defend yourselves (Do you give your babe a head ) Ladies (Do you love getting a head) 
